Lori Alexander 57: The Wisdom and the Folly

[Alisamer]

12 hours ago, louisa05 said:

In more professional settings, requirements are going to be more stringent than that. So, yes, a lot of working women are going to spend money on clothes. That doesn't mean it has to cost a fortune nor would it cost every penny you make. That assumption that Lori makes is ridiculous. 

Lori was, briefly, a teacher. I'm sure coming straight out of college and into the workforce, maybe she did have to spend a bit at once to get a basic wardrobe together. Maybe it did cost a fortune, but if it did it's because of LORI, not because that's how it is for everyone. Lori is many things, but thrifty is NOT one of them. I'm pretty sure Ms. $14 butter and $79 jean skirts wasn't shopping at thrift stores and places like TJ Maxx. Most people have sense enough not to blow massive amounts of $$$ on clothes all at once, and are able to put together acceptable clothing cheaply. And if they're really hurting for money, there are organizations to help! 

It does not take a fortune to get a basic business wardrobe together, IMO. I bet if I had to suddenly put together a week's worth of business professional clothes, I'd probably be able to put 90% of it together out of my closet - most people have at least one outfit that is "nice", for attending weddings/funerals/parties/job interviews, etc. I'd probably pick up a blazer or two at a thrift store and a few pairs of pantyhose, but that's it. My current work clothes consist of jeans and t-shirts, which I'd be wearing even if I was staying at home, so there's no extra expense there. I can wear whatever I want, so sometimes I'll dress up a little just for the fun of it. 

I think the workplaces with the most stringent and/or expensive requirements usually pay enough that it shouldn't be a massive burden. If you can get through the first week or two, starting with your interview outfit, you'll be able to build up a wardrobe over time. And even people working at fashion magazines and expected to wear BRAND$, shop at Thredup and Poshmark and go thrifting sometimes.

Lori be dumb.

And the fire thing? She won't post about it until it affects HER. She can't see much outside her bubble, which is why so many of her ranting posts can be described as "passive-aggressive attack on daughter or daughter-in-law."

Hopefully if the fires do come near Lori, someone with a penis will be nearby to tell her to head away from the flames. "Pack some clothes, Lori. Not the butter. No, Lori, necessities. No, black salve is not a necessity."

[SongRed7]

2 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Lori is many things, but thrifty is NOT one of them. I'm pretty sure Ms. $14 butter and $79 jean skirts

Not to mention $100 a container "gut powder" and $60 a container black salve or her $67 Jane Iredale Rose Spritz.    I didn't bother to price out the other vitamins.  

Look...I don't care how other people spend their money, but don't humble brag about your "simple" health routines  ( she's always saying "my simple dinner"  "my simple beauty routine"  UGH)  like others can relate. What you consume in these products on a weekly basis could feed some of the fangirls families for a couple of weeks. 

 

[AuntKrazy]

I have the Billy Joel song "My Life" in my head with regard to Lori this week.

Lori is just another in a long line of self-appointed experts on how everyone else should live their lives.  

The anecdote about the "good marriage counseling" today is truly disturbing to me.  It is never good advice to "hide the habits that disturb him" unless it's immediately followed by "as you secretly move out to escape from the abuse".  If he's that controlling about a piece of bread, he's not safe.  That is not "micromanaging" - it's inappropriate rage.  That's a powder keg getting ready to explode.  What you do then is:   GET AWAY.

And that so-called counselor - basically told the wife to stop existing and become invisible in their marriage.  That is NOT being equally yoked.  The whole thing made me sick - not because of focus on sex (which is a whole other element) - but because I kept thinking - he beats her.  And now he has isolated her.

[ladyicantxplain]

Wow, I've read both these writings so many times over the years, and every time I read them, I feel the same way: disturbed and unsettled for the women who think this is good advice.  While it is praiseworthy that TJFW and her husband now have a "restored" marriage, and testimony of overcoming addiction together, continuing to oppress the wife in order to see the husband free is not "good marriage counseling."  It is further bondage and pain and cruelty to the wife (or husband, if the woman were the addict.)

 

 

[SuperNova]

So Lori takes a powdered supplement that contains aloe vera extract. Aloe vera is big no-no for diagnosed bowel issues. Aloe contains latex which is a stimulant for your bowels. Over time your bowels become dependent on the aloe for stimulation and can cease to function properly on their own. Not to mention that ongoing use of latex can become a contributing factor to bowel irritation. In addition to the aloe she takes 2-4 magnesium pills every night. She could save Ken a boatload of cash and buy herself a big bottle of Milk of Magnesia instead. 

Lori seems to mainly eat vegetables (and bread). There shouldn't be any need for so many stimulants on a high fiber diet. 

[EowynW]

I stay fine with with my magnesium tablets every day. I'm surprised she has to pump herself full with other stuff. 

I make my deodorant with milk of magnesia, lol. 

[SongRed7]

2 hours ago, AuntKrazy said:

And that so-called counselor - basically told the wife to stop existing and become invisible in their marriage.  That is NOT being equally yoked.  The whole thing made me sick - not because of focus on sex (which is a whole other element) - but because I kept thinking - he beats her.  And now he has isolated her.

She is always holding up The Joy Filled Wife as a success story. Essentially the husband was a jerk, addicted to porn, controlling,  withheld sex from his wife,  belittled her in front of others,  lied to her, all while making her sneak food behind his back and raising her 8 kids (I guess he found time to knock her up time and time again) and yet IT IS ALL HER FAULT!      This isn't the way it's supposed to be.  It's not.  It is NOT a success story.   The message she is sending is that it is okay  to be a doormat. It's OK to be abused.  Just give up your personality, life, thoughts, needs, wants, self-respect,  and everything else..YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT.  The man is...even if he's an asshole -- he's king supreme.   

I can't take these people that think women have such little value  that this is OK. 

 

 

26 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

She could save Ken a boatload of cash and buy herself a big bottle of Milk of Magnesia instead. 

Lori seems to mainly eat vegetables (and bread). There shouldn't be any need for so many stimulants on a high fiber diet. 

Honestly -- between the cat food looking fish she eats on her salad everyday, all the supplements, and roughage she is eating....I hope they have separate bathrooms. I would not want to use the bathroom AFTER her! LOL

[Katzchen24]

"My counselor explained to me that my husband felt like his life was out of control and that my rebelling against his unreasonable micromanaging would serve no purpose but to feed the desire to control more."

This is from Lori's (most recent?) FB intro to her blog link. The bolding is mine There's more than a little passive aggression here. This reads to me as if she hasn't fully dealt with Ken's 'unreasonable micromanaging' yet, despite her words to the contrary. 

Firstly, I don't understand what constitutes 'reasonable micromanaging'. Secondly, this is such a dangerous message to women - obey your husband regardless of how much of a control freak he is. Lori really doesn't allow women any agency at all. 

[SuperNova]

I going to guess that the couselor that JFW and her spouse saw was probably more along the lines of a church leader or some such. No licensed therapist worth their salt would encourage a woman to stay and actively participate in her partners abuse. It doesn't take a professional to see JFW's husband's issues run far deeper than his addiction to porn. The idea that a therapist would tell her that all his abusive behaviors stem from it is frankly unbelievable. 

[feministxtian]

3 hours ago, Katzchen24 said:

"My counselor explained to me that my husband felt like his life was out of control and that my rebelling against his unreasonable micromanaging would serve no purpose but to feed the desire to control more."

This is bullshit. The marriage counselor my X and I saw said the opposite...the counselor told him basically to sit down and STFU if he wasn't going to be an active parent or part of the marriage. Needless to say the X didn't like it...one of many reasons he's an X. 

[Hisey]

So, TJFW's husband is withholding sex, and the advice she is given is to lay low and not nag him.

TJFW'S husband is being controlling. The advice again is to lay low and not nag.

I wonder what would happen if TJFW was doing these things? Would the advice be the same? Or would she be shamed and scolded for defrauding her husband? What if TJFW was being controlling? Would it be time for some of Ken's "discipline"? Would she have to give her husband some back rubs or clean the bathroom, until she "behaved"?

[Katzchen24]

Seriously, at this point I'm starting to feel that Lori could be replaced with a sexbot that cooks (or a cookbot that sexes) and a roomba. She allows women (herself included??) no free will once they've moved past the bearing and raising children stage. I find it repellent and deeply uncomfortable that this is what she is preaching. I've read novels where women characters are deeply passive and unmoving in this way, and it is nearly always because they've been subject to terrible domestic abuse. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

More gross.

More proof that ken cooks his own meals.  no way would that be enough for a man. Again, tons of butter!!!

 

[SuperNova]

37 minutes ago, Katzchen24 said:

Seriously, at this point I'm starting to feel that Lori could be replaced with a sexbot that cooks (or a cookbot that sexes) and a roomba. 

Lori Alexander: less enthusiastic than a sexbot roomba.

[feministxtian]

Ok, I gave in and cooked dinner...meatloaf (I make 4-6 of them and freeze them), mashed potatoes with LOTS of butter, string beans and corn.

Horrible working woman that I am...went to the store, cleaned out the fridge, fixed dinner...made enough dinner that hubs could eat his fill and have leftovers (hub's appetite is similar to a high school football player). 

That bitch talks a lot of shit...but can't be assed to fix her husband a meal. 

[Loveday]

12 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Ok, I gave in and cooked dinner...meatloaf (I make 4-6 of them and freeze them), mashed potatoes with LOTS of butter, string beans and corn.

Horrible working woman that I am...went to the store, cleaned out the fridge, fixed dinner...made enough dinner that hubs could eat his fill and have leftovers (hub's appetite is similar to a high school football player). 

That bitch talks a lot of shit...but can't be assed to fix her husband a meal. 

Slathered. The more godly word is slathered. 

[feministxtian]

1 minute ago, Loveday said:

Slathered. The more godly word is slathered. 

Dear god no...that word makes me want to lose my delicious dinner all over the place. 

And do you know how much guacamole that avocado could have made? Guac, sour cream, pico, cheese...shit, you could put that shit in mashed potatoes and...fuck it, I'm drooling now. 

[Carol]

Yep, Lori has a big mouth.

[ladyicantxplain]

A comment on today's post re: TJFW reads:

 "Wow you defeated Satan"

And Lori's reply:

The Transformed Wife:  She sure did! She knew what was at stake and was willing to suffer in order to win her husband to the Lord and His ways.

 

No, this woman did not "defeat Satan" - no woman can defeat Satan.  Again, there is no mention of the power of JESUS CHRIST here, which is disturbing because the inference is that the WOMAN "saved" her husband/marriage by "suffering"...a total setup for abuse to continue/worsen.

 

Further, it is clearly mentioned in the words of TJFW in the previous post that her husband IS A BELIEVER...so exactly how did TJFW "suffer in order to win her husband to the Lord and His ways" IF her husband was already a believer (Christian).

Quote

Although my husband is a believer, I knew it would take an act of the Holy Spirit for him to overcome his addiction and subsequent struggle with anger and control. Still, I Peter 3:1,2 kept rising up in my heart. If unbelieving husbands can be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, could the Lord use me in that same way to help point my believing husband back to Him?

Why exactly did TJFW suffer?

I seem to have missed it.    If this man was a believer, according to Lori's theology, he was already a "new creation - all things are become new". How could this new creation believer be addicted to porn, controlling, abusive and micro-managing with rage?

That doesn't sound like all things new to me.

[Sarah92]

As an actual professional counselor (still need to test for my LPC title, but regardless) I have lots of thoughts on that counselor. As someone who is heavy interested in integrative work of faith and counseling and even wrote a short thesis on why the church needs trained MH counselors, I have even more thoughts. And to summarize that is : that counseling was for the most part bullshit and completely shifted responsibility onto her. 

[luv2laugh]

Sometimes, I wonder if some of her kids and their spouses are on an absolutely limited form of contact with her, just short of no contact.

I wonder about it because she’s always shading her daughter or a DIL. Perhaps, this could be why she’s so filled with rage even moreso than before all of her kids got married. She’s been really vitriolic about “younger women of today” and maybe she feels like her DILs stole her precious sons, in a bizarre way.

[fluffy]

2 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

wonder about it because she’s always shading her daughter or a DIL. Perhaps, this could be why she’s so filled with rage even moreso than before all of her kids got married. She’s been really vitriolic about “younger women of today” and maybe she feels like her DILs stole her precious sons, in a bizarre way.

I have wondered the same. The other rage-inducting influence towards "younger women of today" is the MRA nut jobs that stalk her blogposts and comment filthy garbage about their own sexual predilections. They turn those comment threads into a daily smorgasbord of misogyny. That is a group totally filled with hatred and rage (not a very Christian influence, needless to say!), and those are the bulk of Lori's blog followers. They are repulsive, but Lori laps up their anger towards women.

She and Ken are into the MRA movement in a big way. At one point it was domestic discipline (wife spanking), which Lori goes to great pains now to disavow. Sunshine Mary was her main squeeze and now it's men's rights groups. I tell you I feel sorry for her daughters and daughter-in-laws and wonder about her influence over her granddaughters because the MRA influence is incredibly dangerous. They are a hate group. 

[cara]

Anyone else think Alyssa's latest Instagram post is a bit tacky? She starts with a paragraph about human trafficking and how terrible it is.. which I found strange because I thought women aren't to worry about global issues like that. They're supposed to focus on their husbands getting the right colour straw with their lemonade and all that...

It's accompanied by a series of very provocative pics of her posing in yoga clothes. The whole post is to advertise the clothing brand. I would love to hear Lori chime in on this one. It has everything she hates, social justice, a woman earning money and yoga pants. 

[delphinium65]

36 minutes ago, cara said:

It has everything she hates, social justice, a woman earning money and yoga pants

And Lori claims her children are all walking in truth, or whatever crap she calls is.  How can she claim that, when at least one of them is doing the same things she condemns other women for? Those other women are evil Jezebels, but her daughter isn't? 

Just for the record, I don't think there's anything whatsoever wrong with Alyssa caring about what's going on in the world, making money, or wearing whatever she wants, good for her on all of those counts! (Although I seriously question the health 'advice' she gives, but that's not the point right now).  

[wallysmommy]

Quote

Stay off the computer, younger women, and your devices. Keep the main thing the main thing. GET INTO, climb into, crawl into, hide yourself in the Word of God. Listen to the reaches of godly, aged women. You’ll have no regrets for your own wiser choices then.

Then how are they supposed to hear your Godly words of wisdom, Lori, if they aren't buried in their devices, waiting anxiously for more guidance from the Oracle of California?  If they are hidden in the Word of God, how can they hear YOU?  Once again you show your hubris.  No regrets?  One of your followers biggest regrets should be that they ever listened to any advice you've given.