Lori Alexander 57: The Wisdom and the Folly

[Free Jana Duggar]

2 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

 

Also why does everyone assume that mom's are spending a ton on new work clothes? Are moms not supposed to have nice clothes? So Lori promotes dressing and looking nice but only if those clothes aren't work clothes. Most of my outfits can be worn around or at work so what difference does it make? Clothes are clothes. 

I don't get it either. I have never spent a lot of money for work clothes. I'm on lunch at my evil job and wearing a 10 year old sweater and at least 7 yest old shoes.

My last job was at a Boy's and Girls Club. We were provided with a t shirt. All we had to buy was khaki pants.

Then they claim we spend money on eating out for lunch. Umm no. I'm sitting here eating my heated up leftovers from last night.  I may treat myself out once a month, but most of the time it's easier to stay in the building and bring my lunch.

 

[Carol]

ladyicantexplain, 

I don't come to FJ to read people defend their beliefs about god.  FJ is a snark site that discusses the dangers of god and religion.  We have believers and non-believers who post regularly and are given respect because they don't preach.  I am put off by your posts because they feel like a sermon, something I have been trying to escape my entire adult life. TBH, you sound as legalistic as many christians who are off-putting to me.

This is solely my opinion and I don't represent it as the opinion of others who read/post here. 

[Sarah92]

26 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Ladies, I have and idea for a community blog and am looking for several women who might be interested in submitting posts. The title is called "we are the exceptions".  This is a counter to Lori's whole "I don't deal with or teach exceptions".  This will be a place for women to share their stories, experiences and faith, proving that you can still be Christian even if you don't have a picture perfect life and made mistakes a long the way.  It will also try to reach out to women who are shamed and shunned by "ministries" like Lori's.  The exceptions are the majority whether the godlies like it or not. And the exceptions will not be silenced, deleted, and banned. 

Thoughts?

Looovve the idea! I might be willing to contribute. What kind of posts are you looking for? 

[AuntKrazy]

(stepping up on soapbox today) - There is nothing about working to have savings, a nice car, nice clothes, nice vacations, nice schools that is wrong or "against God and His Ways".  Otherwise Lori herself is out of the kingdom.

There is nothing in Scripture against women working.  Sending your children to schools so they can learn from people who have spent their lives honing their ability to teach is not neglect.  Teaching children at home because you want your children to learn best is not wrong either.  These are choices; every child is different.  Every family is different.  Every mom is different.

There is nothing wrong with having as many children as you can afford.  Just this week I was talking to a friend who quit teaching, has several children of her own that are mostly grown, and now she and her husband foster kids.  She was laughing at herself because she just met another baby that needs a loving home and she wants to nurture it.  She was saying "because that's what our family needs, another baby" - but smiling as she said it.  She is a natural mom; and I support her in her passion.

I, however, am not.  I end up in charge of things without intending to; thrive on work, and am passionate about social justice.  There is nothing wrong with me being childless and having a career.  There is nothing against God in these choices.

Lori is in sin by her own measuring stick of "Biblical submission".  Church authorities told her to stop teaching what she does, and yet she persists in it.  She has defined women's spirituality by this one measure; and fails in it herself.

This is in contract to how the Bible defines true faith: to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with one's God.  In other places it points out that this is accomplished by loving God and loving others.  These are never separate concepts in the Bible.  They are always integrated.

I love on New Amsterdam where the hospital chief asks people "How Can I Help?" and then listens.  I wonder about the last time Lori did that.

We can be the kind of person who does that wherever we are and whatever we do.  And that, I believe, is the whole point of my faith - to transform who I am into someone who is loving, good, patient, and kind regardless of my circumstance.  The kind who not only asks "how can I help", but listens for how to do so on someone else's terms.

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

@Sarah92

If you are a regular writer, first a bio post...your experiences and how you are an exception to what the godlies think is a proper christian woman. Then just on any topics you wish. I am putting together  the look and feel of the blog now and will post the link here once I fill in the about section and then that will give you more of an ideal of the direction. You can write with a pen name too of course and it doesn't have to be a big time committment. Maybe once a month. If I can get 4 women involved and we each do a post a week.

[luv2laugh]

4 hours ago, Liza said:

@luv2laugh   ... or anyone, please ... where are these threads?  Thanks.

In Quiver Full of Snark

 

[klein_roeschen]

4 hours ago, feministxtian said:

My "work wardrobe" never cost me more than about 100 bucks...jeans, t-shirts, tennis shoes. It's only now that I'm blowing money on clothes...let's see...2 pairs of jeans, 6 tops and a new bra (it's comfortable, I need to get another one or two). 

My work wardrobe are white trousers and neon green polo shirt and for colder days a  sweater jacket, booth of them embroidered with the logo and name of my pharmacy. We got 2 sets of this from our boss and get new ones every year. Don't cost us a dime. The only work expense are our shoes. I switch between sneakers and crogs, because when you stand between 6 and 12 hours a workday, you need comfy shoes. And a good, strong bra is essential for me, no matter it's a workday or not, because mother nature graced me with a H cup.

@Sarah92 a good start is looking for a shop who do bra fitting and know how to do it. Many women wear bras to small for them. A few years ago I where shopping with my best friend and she looked for some new underwear in a lingerie shop. Initially, I where just the company of my friend, because I didn't tought they carry my size. But the saleswoman came to me and said that I wear the wrong bra and asked me my size. She brought me one in the size I wore and yes, way to small. Then she messured me and together with me and my friend found 2 bras that fit. Finally I had a bra that supported my large breasts correctly. They where more expansive than the ones I ordered online before, but where worth every cent.  I don't care if they look not really sexy, because I want to feel supported on work, not pretty. And last year, they finally opened up a store of that chain up in my town, I couldn't be happier.

[ladyicantxplain]

When I worked outside of this house full-time, I spent money on work clothing. Usually something simple like a sort of "work uniform": black skirts, tights, white tops, black or colorful shoes. I was in sales for years.  It wasn't a ton of money in the big scheme of things at all.  

Later, when working part-time and in other people's homes (nursing, child care), I wore scrubs or casual, comfy clothing that I would normally wear at home anyway.  Again, no big expense.

The only way I could see this being a big expense for women to buy a wardrobe to go to work is if the woman in question would be going to work ONLY to earn minimum wage, and she literally had no appropriate clothing to begin with.  That being said, many jobs require uniforms as someone said earlier.  The whole idea that a work wardrobe cost is a huge stumbling block to wives working and making anything to bring home is fallacy, I think, except in the most dire circumstances. 

Clothing does not have to cost a fortune. BUT even if a woman WANTS to spend a "fortune" on her clothing, there is nothing wrong with that!  I've known so many fundie women who have been wearing the same underwear for twelve years or so, and the same shoes for ten years, and everything is all worn out and stained and out of style...so they can say they are holy.

NO.  That isn't holiness. That is poverty.  Which does not equal holiness. 

[SilverBeach]

2 hours ago, AuntKrazy said:

I love on New Amsterdam

Love this show, but I am a doctor show freak (Chicago Med, The Resident). I have liked medical dramas since the days of Dr. Kildare.

13 minutes ago, klein_roeschen said:

Many women wear bras to small for them.

My bra fitter says the typical error is that band size is too large and the cup size is too small. Getting a proper fitting was transformative.

[SongRed7]

I wish someone who wasn't blocked on IG by her Lori-ness would tell the woman who was inquiring, that Lori's "gut powder" won't cure Lyme disease...Lyme disease is a bacterial infection caused by a very specific bacteria....not "gut issues." If left untreated, infection can spread to joints, the heart, and the nervous system.  YOU NEED ACTUAL ANTIBIOTICS. NOT MAGIC POWDER. 

@Ken....please tell your wife to stop practicing medicine. In fact, tell that to anyone in your family who isn't a trained medical professional.  Someone is going to get hurt or die eventually.  At the very least, she's encouraging people to buy products which may or may not have any value whatsoever except what they believe in their head. Her little disclaimer doesn't mean a damn thing. 

 

 

 

[freealljs]

I spend what Lori may consider a decent amount on clothes, but it's because I CAN and I WANT TO.  If I see something that I like in a store, I buy it (unless I need to put the money aside for something).  It's called being responsible and common sense.  For example, I don't buy $14 butter or $79 denim skirts if the money needs to be spent elsewhere.  

On an aside, I wonder how Lori is dealing with the fires in Southern California.  

[ladyicantxplain]

28 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

I wish someone who wasn't blocked on IG by her Lori-ness would tell the woman who was inquiring, that Lori's "gut powder" won't cure Lyme disease...Lyme disease is a bacterial infection caused by a very specific bacteria....not "gut issues." If left untreated, infection can spread to joints, the heart, and the nervous system.  YOU NEED ACTUAL ANTIBIOTICS. NOT MAGIC POWDER. 

@Ken....please tell your wife to stop practicing medicine. In fact, tell that to anyone in your family who isn't a trained medical professional.  Someone is going to get hurt or die eventually.  At the very least, she's encouraging people to buy products which may or may not have any value whatsoever except what they believe in their head. Her little disclaimer doesn't mean a damn thing. 

 

 

 

I think I'm blocked. I had Anaplasmosis (a tick borne illness) when I was pregnant with my second child. Thought I was dying. The solution to my sensations of death: antibiotics.  I'm all about healing: divine healing, natural healing, healing by prayer, healing by antibiotics, healing.  Just get the person HEALED, for goodness' sakes!  But don't mislead people by telling them that some weird powder is their healing.  Inexcusable.

[delphinium65]

6 minutes ago, freealljs said:

On an aside, I wonder how Lori is dealing with the fires in Southern California.  

Has she even mentioned the fires?  I'm assuming that they aren't directly impacting her, or we'd be hearing alllllll about it.  I suspect many of us who live halfway across the country, or further away, care more about those affected than she does.  

[ladyicantxplain]

And don't practice medicine without a license. That's weird in the world's eyes, and almost sounds like witchcraft if we're going strictly by the bible.

 

[EowynW]

20 minutes ago, ladyicantxplain said:

And don't practice medicine without a license. That's weird in the world's eyes, and almost sounds like witchcraft if we're going strictly by the bible.

 

Shitty advice isn't the same thing as witchcraft. 

[Coconut Flan]

1 hour ago, freealljs said:

On an aside, I wonder how Lori is dealing with the fires in Southern California.  

None are very close to her.  

[TeddyBonkers]

1 hour ago, delphinium65 said:

Has she even mentioned the fires?  I'm assuming that they aren't directly impacting her, or we'd be hearing alllllll about it.  I suspect many of us who live halfway across the country, or further away, care more about those affected than she does.  

I live all the way across the country and I care a lot. My great-aunt is 94 and she got out with the clothes on her back. Her home has been destroyed. She got to her sister's home, but that place is being threatened with fire as well. 

[ladyicantxplain]

Come to think of it,  I do not recall Lori ever discussing the impact of any type of natural disaster. I'm not sure where she stands on these things.  Many weird professing Christians get into strange judgement stuff,  refusing to pray because they view fires and hurricanes and such as "God's judgement on America", which is garbage. Not sure what causes her to ignore the fires in her state in her public writings.  

[Briefly]

7 hours ago, feministxtian said:

My "work wardrobe" never cost me more than about 100 bucks...jeans, t-shirts, tennis shoes. It's only now that I'm blowing money on clothes...let's see...2 pairs of jeans, 6 tops and a new bra (it's comfortable, I need to get another one or two). 

I love thrift stores.  I shop at them for most of my clothing. Not undies or bras, but at the moment I am wearing a shirt that came from a thrift store and a pair of jeans.  The jeans are usually not from thrift stores because I have never found my size there, unless they are about to fall apart from wear.  My daughter finds jeans there often, but I don't.  The majority of my dresses, skirts and blouses are from thrift stores.  It's a good way to reduce/reuse/recycle as well as affordable.

As far as tithing, we tithe because we chose to.  But that is our choice, I don't care what anybody else does because that is up to them.

[Lgirlrocks]

If god opens and closes the womb then why does birth control work? Why do teens get pregnant? Why do rape victims and women who will abort get pregnant?

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

 

[ladyicantxplain]

43 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

If god opens and closes the womb then why does birth control work? Why do teens get pregnant? Why do rape victims and women who will abort get pregnant?

Lori has a very myopic view of the sovereignty of God, as it is called in church circles.  From my perspective, the reason these things happen has nothing to DO with God at all.  These things happen because God is NOT "in control" as churches have taught that He is.  He is not some cosmic genie in the heavens zapping wombs open or closed depending upon how He feels about that person being conceived at the moment.  

Instead, it is more like this:

When God says something, He says it once, and His Word is so powerful that it remains in motion. So, He said, "Be fruitful and multiply..."  Obviously, there has not been a cessation of fruitfulness and multiplication on the earth.  People are still conceiving babies. He set things in motion, and they remain in motion today unless something interferes.

Speaking of something interfering, He said, "Have dominion over all creation" (Genesis 1:28). Man and woman have the same attributes as God, according to scripture, so this means they have wisdom and the ability to exercise authority over their own bodies, and all of creation.  There is no command to have "dominion" (authority) over OTHER PEOPLE (which is noteworthy, because it destroys the Comp argument that the husband is OVER the wife.)

Lastly, there is this: 

Contemporary English Version Psalm 115:16
The LORD has kept the heavens for himself, but he has given the earth to us humans. 

This place is OURS. He gave it to us. He is like a kind and just Landlord. He doesn't barge in without a "twelve hour notice" and He doesn't just use His master keys willy-nilly to come in and mess with things "just because".  

He is NOT "in control"; nor is He a control freak like a lot of people have taught in churches that He is.  We're calling the shots here.  We're the ones He put in charge to steward this place.   

If we want to use birth control to take dominion (authority), He will not stop us.  If people who are teens decide to have sex, He will not stop them.  The natural course of events is that they might make a baby.  It's a natural law.   There should never be rapists, because we have been given dominion, and people should ideally be protecting the vulnerable in every way so that rape NEVER, EVER OCCURS.  But, since that has not happened, if a rapist rapes, again, it is a natural law that a pregnancy may occur.  A woman may choose to exercise authority over her body and choose to abort.  

I assert that none of this has anything to do with God.

If  God is "in control", I think He is doing a terrible job.  I do not believe He is "in control" of this earth, or wombs, or eggs, or sperm...or rapists or teens having sex.

 

[louisa05]

5 hours ago, ladyicantxplain said:

When I worked outside of this house full-time, I spent money on work clothing. Usually something simple like a sort of "work uniform": black skirts, tights, white tops, black or colorful shoes. I was in sales for years.  It wasn't a ton of money in the big scheme of things at all.  

Later, when working part-time and in other people's homes (nursing, child care), I wore scrubs or casual, comfy clothing that I would normally wear at home anyway.  Again, no big expense.

The only way I could see this being a big expense for women to buy a wardrobe to go to work is if the woman in question would be going to work ONLY to earn minimum wage, and she literally had no appropriate clothing to begin with.  That being said, many jobs require uniforms as someone said earlier.  The whole idea that a work wardrobe cost is a huge stumbling block to wives working and making anything to bring home is fallacy, I think, except in the most dire circumstances. 

Clothing does not have to cost a fortune. BUT even if a woman WANTS to spend a "fortune" on her clothing, there is nothing wrong with that!  I've known so many fundie women who have been wearing the same underwear for twelve years or so, and the same shoes for ten years, and everything is all worn out and stained and out of style...so they can say they are holy.

NO.  That isn't holiness. That is poverty.  Which does not equal holiness. 

Some jobs require business casual or business attire. Not everyone goes to work in a uniform or jeans. As a teacher, the most I've ever been allowed to wear jeans is once a week. And that's only since I've been subbing in districts that do jeans on Friday. In the schools I worked out, we got to dress down maybe 3 or 4 times in a school year. We had to have business casual attire at the least--dress pants, professional shirts (no t-shirts, sweatshirts, etc...), or casual skirts and dresses plus no sneakers, plastic flip-flops etc... 

In more professional settings, requirements are going to be more stringent than that. So, yes, a lot of working women are going to spend money on clothes. That doesn't mean it has to cost a fortune nor would it cost every penny you make. That assumption that Lori makes is ridiculous. 

[wallysmommy]

Did Lori miss the day of Sunday School when they taught about Sarah's doubt regarding having a child and hooked her husband up with her maid?  I guess that part of the story doesn't fit with her neat script for her pointed doodle.

[Koala]

I think there's a simply solution to Lori's concern about how much other women are spending on work clothes.

1 Thessalonians 4:11

And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

Now, I know this isn't in the couple of passages of scripture that Lori obeys, but it IS in the book.  

It is NONE OF LORI ALEXANDER'S BUSINESS, what another woman spends on her wardrobe, so she should just be quiet about it.

She has used her "command" to teach younger women, as a ticket to be a busybody.  She spends her days "wandering from house to house" via the Internet.  She uses her blog to gossip and tear other women down.

1Timothy 5:13

And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.

I guess she just hates God and His perfect "ways".

[cindyluvs24]

God opens and closes the womb.... except when Lori sabotages her diaphragm.