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love2scrap

Dessert before dinner is a "good gift from God that’s been perverted"

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love2scrap

So... Lori linked to this facebook page and I came across one of the usual diatribes against porn. But this analogy takes the cake. 

Quote

My son’s desire to have a popsicle before finishing his meal shares many similarities with the man lusting for fornication-on-demand, and it’s important to see what these are.

First, they both share a good gift from God that’s been perverted. 

Today I learned I'm a pervert for having that tiramisu before my spaghetti last night.

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AliceInFundyland

So that’s the most clickbaity thread title of the day. Well done!

And, wtf.

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AmazonGrace

Firstly, I agree that it's a bad idea to let kids frequently ruin their appetite with sugary treats before eating more nourishing healthy meals ( I hope they're healthy, anyway) 

Second, what a horrible guilt-tripping, toddler-shaming, sexually repressed, judgmental, uptight, anxiety inducing growing environment.

Kids ask for things they can't get all the time The adult's job is to say no and explain why in an age appropriate manner, not to freak out about Satan and demons and porn and OMG if my toddler wants his candy now he may become a wanker... 

Learning delayed gratification is a useful life skill but so is putting things in perspective.

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TeddyBonkers

It's too early in the morning for me to make a joke about how he shouldn't be giving his son popsicles anyway because of the phallic shape of them. 

Come back to me after I've had a cup or 2 of coffee. 

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Rowan

I've had to be low-carb for most of this year thanks to fertility treatments. Let me tell you, I lust after a good sugary dessert WAY more than I lust after even the hottest guys out there. Dessert is much more powerful than porn/sex/whatever at this point in my life, TYVM. 

I pity the children growing up in that household.

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Terrie

He's not teaching delayed gratification or self-discipline. He's teaching obedience to authority. Teaching kids to "clean their plate" teaches them to ignore their body's signals that they have eaten enough in favor of what their parents decide they need.

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PopRox
57 minutes ago, Terrie said:

Teaching kids to "clean their plate" teaches them to ignore their body's signals that they have eaten enough in favor of what their parents decide they need.

This. Kids have smaller and more sensitive stomachs. I guess the parents would rather force their child to eat too much and get sick, because at least they're obedient (and I bet, like Braggie, they'd make their sick toddler clean up the mess).

@TeddyBonkers Lemme see if I can help you out:

"Son, you can't suck on a sweet, sugary shaft until you've eaten some nice, nutritious fish tacos."

I'll show myself out.

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Dreadcrumbs

I guess I'm a pervert now because I've eaten ice cream before dinner figuring it's fine as long as I eat an actual meal.

1 hour ago, Terrie said:

He's not teaching delayed gratification or self-discipline. He's teaching obedience to authority. Teaching kids to "clean their plate" teaches them to ignore their body's signals that they have eaten enough in favor of what their parents decide they need.

He's setting his kids up for a life of disordered eating. :( 

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Marian the Librarian

Well then, I'm going straight to hell. This year's batch of pre-Halloween Almond Roca has been particularly toothsome.

:laughing-rolling:

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Howl
Quote

He lacks the self-discipline to wait until he wins a bride or, if he’s married, until his bride is able to have sex (sometimes a wife and mother needs a night off from being touched).

No shit. Anyone else get the "icks" and "ewwws" from reading that sentence?  Among other things, it's a coded reference to being a horny stud. 

Also, I hate how fundy men refer to their wife as their bride. I hate that along with "young ladies" and "headship."  Plus other stuff they say....

Edited by Howl

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Alisamer

I think one of the older Southern ladies at my church, who ALWAYS eats dessert first, would take one look at that and sadly shake her head and say "well bless his heart..."

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Howl
1 hour ago, PopRox said:

@TeddyBonkers Lemme see if I can help you out:

"Son, you can't suck on a sweet, sugary shaft until you've eaten some nice, nutritious fish tacos."

I'll show myself out.

Girl, that's some serious prayer closet shit, right there. 

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PennySycamore

Dr Spock felt that it was fine to feed the kids dessert before dinner.  Of course, fundies hate him.

I can't remember where I read this (Spock, Lendon Smith, etc) but since the peak time for childhood poisonings are late afternoon, it's good to not let the kids get too hungry.  Give them an afternoon snack before they decide to snack on the D-Con you've put out for the mice.

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Anonymousguest
4 hours ago, Terrie said:

He's not teaching delayed gratification or self-discipline. He's teaching obedience to authority. Teaching kids to "clean their plate" teaches them to ignore their body's signals that they have eaten enough in favor of what their parents decide they need.

Ding ding ding! You are the winner, yes exactly! And very likely when the authority and threat of consequences is removed the child will have issues self regulating both food and sex, if he's not taught the why and how of self discipline. And as a bonus will probably have issues with guilt when he's not able to control himself. 

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HarryPotterFan

My grandma always says, “Life is uncertain, start with dessert.” She’s 96, so I’d say that motto has served her well. I also remember my dad telling me that I couldn’t go to bed until I finished dessert. He was joking, he just liked to say absurd things. A trait I’ve inherited, and I really confused my little cousin when I told her she can’t have dessert until she eats her French fries. No worries though, my grandma and I helped her with her fries.

So I guess my family is full of perverts!

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ViolaSebastian
Quote

Dessert loses its sweetness if it’s taken out of the context of a meal.

Anybody who has had cake for dinner knows this to be unequivocally false.

Edited by ViolaSebastian
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SuperNova
31 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

My grandma always says, “Life is uncertain, start with dessert.

That's an embroidered tea towel waiting to happen. Love it. I also like the saying, "Once you realize that you don't need a special occasion to buy a cake, the second part of your life begins."

 

"This is my preemptive strike at the ominous threat of pornography that shackles and pacifies the majority of our young men." 

I'm rolling my eyes here. Why do these rabid christians make everything so freakin' theatrical? Live a little, have cake for breakfast and play with your ding dong. God isn't going to strike you down.

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mango_fandango

So this guy has never gone to a coffee shop and had a slice of cake with his latte? 

There’ve been lots of times when I’ve had sweet stuff (eg slice of cake, muffin etc) when it’s not been as a dessert. It’s just as sweet then as when it’s after a meal. This guy is talking horseshit.

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HarryPotterFan
10 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

That's an embroidered tea towel waiting to happen. Love it. I also like the saying, "Once you realize that you don't need a special occasion to buy a cake, the second part of your life begins."

 

"This is my preemptive strike at the ominous threat of pornography that shackles and pacifies the majority of our young men." 

I'm rolling my eyes here. Why do these rabid christians make everything so freakin' theatrical? Live a little, have cake for breakfast and play with your ding dong. God isn't going to strike you down.

You’re right! I don’t know how to embroider on towels, but I could make a throw pillow. When smiling for cameras she also says, “say shit!” regardless of the presence of children.

Laughing at “play with your ding dong.” Apparently I’m 12. These people clearly need to play with their ding dong more. If they did that maybe they wouldn’t be so cranky and mean all the time.

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sleepy_doggos

I hate it when he says "the permissive parent does not love his children". It's like saying that meeting your child in their desire for a sweet thing would mean being a permissive parent, which is not necessarily true, and that being nice to your kids means actually being awful to your kids. It starts to create that mistrust that something that feels good actually is right and that good things must feel bad. I didn't experience a family truly wanting to enjoy their kids until I was babysitting at age 26 and the parent said, "we try to say yes [to requests] as often as we can". MIND BLOWN. 

 

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katilac
3 hours ago, SuperNova said:

  

I'm rolling my eyes here. Why do these rabid christians make everything so freakin' theatrical?  

My eyes have long since exited my head. The high drama drive me insane. 

Every day has to be filled with breathless importance. They aren't just going to work or school, they are putting on the armor of God to battle Satan as a soldier for Christ. They aren't just trying to cut down on sweets, they're fighting the lustful perversions of pornography that lead to eternal hellfire. 

If you are going to let the kid have a popsicle, it really doesn't matter much when he has it. Food is not more nutritious when eaten in a certain order. If dessert first means he doesn't want dinner at all, then he is having far too much dessert. 

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PopRox
4 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Live a little, have cake for breakfast and play with your ding dong. 

*sneaks out of prayer closet for second* That ought to be on a T-shirt!

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Beermeet
16 minutes ago, PopRox said:

*sneaks out of prayer closet for second* That ought to be on a T-shirt!

I cant stop laughing!!! 😂😂😂💀

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HarryPotterFan
1 hour ago, PopRox said:

*sneaks out of prayer closet for second* That ought to be on a T-shirt!

Someone should start an Etsy shop or red bubble shop with all these sayings we come up with on FJ.

Laughing at the idea of running into someone wearing a shirt that says “play with your ding dong” in the grocery store 

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