M Is for Mama 2: Quiverfull/Pinterest

[ladyaudley]

Who needs (at least) 28 pairs of shoes?? That’s a clothes shop worth of apparel there ?

[Anonymousguest]

3 hours ago, sleepy_doggos said:

13 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

There are ways to die to self and work toward the process of sanctification WITHOUT BRINGING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING INTO THE WORLD IN THE PROCESS.  
WTF did I just read.  Seriously.  Having child after child for YOUR OWN GAIN IN YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE is...is...FUCKED UP.  

Read more  

I hate this reasoning. The books Sacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting by someone I don't remember have popularized it for this generation maybe? It made sense to me as a Christian but once I got into counseling, figured out some childhood experience BS, and rethought it I started calling it out when friends suggested the idea. No person should have a child to help them work on their own character flaws. Does character improvement happen while you parent? I'm sure it can. Should that be your reason for having children? No, you should have children because you want to help care for and nurture a child as he or she grows into an adult. Children are not props or tools.

I remember someone saying at some seminar I went to once that God gave you children for one reason--to bless you. Children are only mentioned in the Bible as being an inheritance and a blessing. Not as refiners or sanctifiers, etc. I can't remember who it was, or even what the rest of the point was, but it's stuck in my mind. If my children didn't seem like "blessings" it was usually my problem not theirs. 

[luv2laugh]

Abbie gets off on bragging. She desperately grasps at straws everyday to find things to brag about. Her fuel source is attempting to get other mothers to feel below her.

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 hours ago, ladyaudley said:

Who needs (at least) 28 pairs of shoes?? That’s a clothes shop worth of apparel there ?

I’m sure those aren’t all her shoes because I see no work out shoes. I bet she has more than one pair of gym shoes since she teaches classes all the time. So you can say she has at least 30 (likely more). 

[sleepy_doggos]

How many pairs of booties does one need, really? I have 2. One tan, one black. Works for me. She easily has 15-20 up there... And this is the trimmed down version?

Now loafers and slides are my jam. I have like 7 or 8 pair of those, some for work/school and some for fun and play.

 

Anyways, she shouldn't explain why she is posting about her closet. If it makes you happy to post about it, don't justify it. She needs to go on every humble brag subreddit and just get her fill of it!

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, sleepy_doggos said:

How many pairs of booties does one need, really? I have 2. One tan, one black. Works for me. She easily has 15-20 up there... And this is the trimmed down version?

Now loafers and slides are my jam. I have like 7 or 8 pair of those, some for work/school and some for fun and play.

 

Anyways, she shouldn't explain why she is posting about her closet. If it makes you happy to post about it, don't justify it. She needs to go on every humble brag subreddit and just get her fill of it!

 

That is the result of getting rid of a lot of stuff. I don’t even want to know how many booties she had before. 

Warning: I’m an aspiring minimalist so my thoughts on clothing are a bit skewed compared to most Americans. 

[Rik_Bik]

Those tall boots at the bottom are almost certainly Frye and cost about $500. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, Rik_Bik said:

Those tall boots at the bottom are almost certainly Frye and cost about $500. 

I don’t understand why she has two. They look almost exactly the same except one pair is slightly taller. 

[sleepy_doggos]

I don’t understand why she has two. They look almost exactly the same except one pair is slightly taller. 

Right? And on the booties they are all variations of maroon and gray and brown. Why does she have 15 variations of 1 outfit? Just screams impulse control problems.
I have this issue when it comes to potato chips, but 1) they are consumable and 2) I don't post them for all my followers to envy

[Anonymousguest]

12 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m sure those aren’t all her shoes because I see no work out shoes. I bet she has more than one pair of gym shoes since she teaches classes all the time. So you can say she has at least 30 (likely more). 

It looks like there could be athletic shoes under the white clothes hanging on the right side of the photo, but none that are visible look like good shoes. We can assume that there are either a few more pairs of boots on the shelf being blocked by the cabinet, or that it goes all the way down with smaller shelves (probably boots though, she likes symmetry). We've seen her in tall red rubber Hunter boots too. I'd guess that she has all the shoes she wears regularly in a closet by the front door.

All the shoes look alike, several pairs of identical short boots, all the sandals look alike, two pairs of similar tall brown boots, several pairs of white sneakers/casual shoes. 

[BobJonesBabe]

"It's taken me almost a year to get this closet under control..." 

Well, um, maybe that's because you have so. much. stuff! Organized or not, it's a lot for someone who claims to be so frugal. Frugality isn't a virtue (at least in the form of frugality) if it just allows you to have more stuff for less money! 

[Hashtag Blessed]

Jeez, she really is obsessed with quantity. More house, more clothes, more shoes, more kids, more money! She wants everyone to know she has MORE. To me, it screams of a gaping hole in her heart and her self-worth. She's desperately trying to fill it with more more MORE all the time. 

Abbie, it will never be enough. You will never feel whole through material possessions, and your kids don't exist to bolster your self-esteem. They will leave you and they will resent you for treating them as accessories just like your multiple pairs of identical boots. 

It is hilarious and sad how hard she has to brag all the time. Your husband built you some shelves? BFD, my husband built our dining set and is currently working on a Chippendale-style writing desk. There's always someone who has something more/better/cooler than you do. That's why it is unhealthy and unwise to hang your self-worth and identity on things like that. 

Reading Abbie's posts sometimes feels like I'm looking into a funhouse-mirror version of myself. I have a lot of shoes too, but that's because I walk everywhere, in all weather, so I actually have the need for a variety of options. It isn't a point of pride for me, it is just a fact of life. Never in 1 million years would I show off my closet on social media because I wear my clothes. If they're not on my body, who needs to see them? I have a passion for decorating my home too, but I do it to create a soothing and inspiring space for myself and my family. If I want to show off, it is only to the friends and family we have over for parties and gatherings. Not for strangers on social media. I too used to have body image issues and issues with food, but I've worked through most of my issues and continue to work on negative thought and behavior patterns. Harboring self-hate makes you a bitter and hateful person towards everyone else too. I didn't want that for my family or friends. They deserve a better me than the one who's obsessed with superficial qualities. I have way more to offer the world than my body. We all do. 

These days I have better things to hang my self-worth on. Like my academic pursuits, talents, and strong relationships with friends and family. Abbie makes me a little sad because she's obviously so desperate for validation and admiration. It is kinda depressing to watch.

Still, that's not going to stop me from snarking on her. I'm not a perfect person!

[EmiGirl]

Why are these people proud of suffering with varicose veins? Shouldn't they be getting them treated medically or do they just like bragging about suffering. 

They're really going to be suffering if those veins end up with blood clots or other life threatening or altering complications because they just wanted to suffer and brag about it.

[Glasgowghirl]

Who does she think she is? Her closet is one Carrie Bradshaw would love, it's one thing to like clothes and shoes but when you have a large family you should be putting them first and she should not be spending as much on her self. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

49 minutes ago, Glasgowghirl said:

Who does she think she is? Her closet is one Carrie Bradshaw would love, it's one thing to like clothes and shoes but when you have a large family you should be putting them first and she should not be spending as much on her self. 

She probably thinks it’s ok because she got a lot of it for cheap. It’s completely possible she spent a fairly reasonable amount since a lot of it was probably thrifted. HOWEVER you must spend a lot of time shopping in order to find all these name brand/good condition/current clothes at thrift stores. I mean a lot of time. I actually don’t care how much she spends on that closet full of clothing. I want to know how much TIME she has spent shopping for it. She can act holier than thou all she wants but she likely spends very little time with her kids. 

[FilleMondaine]

2 hours ago, Glasgowghirl said:

Who does she think she is? Her closet is one Carrie Bradshaw would love, it's one thing to like clothes and shoes but when you have a large family you should be putting them first and she should not be spending as much on her self. 

Even if she didn't put her kids "first", putting them "equal" would be an improvement. I am all for lifting mother's out of culturally-imposed martyrdom, but she seems to have lifted "self care" into "couldn't care less about others".

[luv2laugh]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

HOWEVER you must spend a lot of time shopping in order to find all these name brand/good condition/current clothes at thrift stores. I mean a lot of time. I actually don’t care how much she spends on that closet full of clothing. I want to know how much TIME she has spent shopping for it. She can act holier than thou all she wants but she likely spends very little time with her kids. 

BINGO.

These are my opinions from what I've observed on Lazy Braggie Abbie's Instagram, blog, and her own words:

• Braggie does not homeschool her children: Her own mother, oldest three kids, and co-op do (as well as Shaun, at times, since he is home 24/7). Her 3 oldest kids even stay at her mom's house all day Thursday and sleep over there (Braggie picks them up on Friday mornings). Braggie says they go back there Friday nights so she can get a date night, too. She's stated that she makes her two oldest kids help the younger ones with questions as well as Shaun.
   
• Braggie has admitted to struggling with Trichotillomania and that stress being a trigger for her pulling in a blog post around 2012. Braggie stated she will never be cured & went on to have 5 more children.
   
• Braggie has admitted body image issues, over-exercising, and as well as having a "nervous breakdown" when she cannot exercise for one day. Despite this, Braggie drives 30 minutes (one way, round trip 1 hour) to the gym to teach 6-7 classes and works out there 3x/ week (the gym center babysits her kids).
  • In addition, Braggie has a group of mothers come to her house to exercise with her 1-2 days per week while making the two oldest sons babysit 30+ children. 
     
• Braggie proclaims she is an Anthropologie lover yet has admitted in VERY FEW blog posts that she, secretly, does NOT buy clothes there but instead, spends TIME scouring eBay, Poshmark, Facebook Buy/Sell/Trade groups for cheap deals. How much TIME is this mother of 8 spending doing this? I have a friend who does this and it takes her LOADS OF TIME despite setting filters & alerts to her phone and email when a deal comes up.
   
• Braggie also spends TIME scouring eBay, Facebook Buy/Sell/Trade groups, Craigslist, for decor deals & spends TIME haggling managers at Lowe's. Hobby Lobby, and Pottery Barn for more decor deals. 
  • Again, she's devoting loads of time to this shopping obsession. How much TIME is this mother of 8 spending on her obsession with scoring decor deals on top of her fashion thrift obsession? This is beyond someone being merely a "shopaholic".
  • For someone obsessed with shopping, perhaps Braggie can try to score some deals for her kids? She's admitted before they don't get Christmas presents, don't have toys to call "mine" ("mine is not a word in her house), and she's pictured them in the same dingy clothes, multiple times.

 

• Braggie prefers to BRAG about scoring a deal on fashion or decor related items rather than explain to other mothers how she scored (haggled) to get the deals. 
  • Why? Braggie would rather have other mothers THINK she is a rich girl than someone who is a shopaholic that's deeply obsessed with scoring deals on Anthropologie related fashion and decor& invests loads of time to feed her addiction. Braggie does not present many (or any) how-to guides. Braggie wants to fake being a rich girl to feed her ego and her goal is to get all mothers to envy her rather than admit to the truth.

 

• Braggie has admitted that owning a blog, being on Instagram, taking photos and (massively) editing them all takes TIME.
   
• Lazy Braggie is proud to admit that her kids are her babysitters, chefs, and maids. She has not merely admitted that her oldest is a "Mom" but has declared it via Instagram.
  • When Braggie is confronted with criticism, she justifies it by stating that having her children do her job builds character. She jokes about loving "child labor" and seeks for tips on training constantly.  She flat out FAN GIRLS over the Flanders Family blog and tries to be BFF with Mama Flanders.
  • Braggie admits that she forces her children to perform their shift work ROUTINES with a cheerful attitude otherwise face discipline by her. This is someone who proudly spanks, sleep trains, and forces "fuss juice" down her kids throats for minutiae things such as wanting a different color cup or not sitting still during Bible time.
     
• Braggie admitted she is a non-crier, not emotional, and is not a nurturer, multiple times. She's also admitted to being vain, self-centered, and narcissistic. She's a woman that is well aware of her issues yet does NOTHING to get help for them. Lazy Braggie calls it all "sin" and just goes on for the day.
  
  What does Braggie do? From what I observe, she outsources everything to her mother, kids, and Shaun. She should change her job title to "Professional Shopper, Gym Instructor, and 'wanna-be' Interior Designer & best-selling author". I really think Braggie needs to evaluate her priorities with #1 being her health and #2 taking on the responsibilities of being a mother of 8 children.

[ophelia]

On 11/4/2018 at 4:30 AM, luv2laugh said:

Abbie gets off on bragging. She desperately grasps at straws everyday to find things to brag about. Her fuel source is attempting to get other mothers to feel below her.

She disgusts me so so much. 

Snark aside: to me it really seems like there is something seriously wrong with her when it comes to mental health. I hope I'm wrong or that she sees a therapist (without posting about it, which is totally fine!!). Otherwise the thought of a mother of soon to be eight children with untreated mental health issues really scares me.

[luv2laugh]

1 hour ago, ophelia said:

She disgusts me so so much. 

Snark aside: to me it really seems like there is something seriously wrong with her when it comes to mental health. I hope I'm wrong or that she sees a therapist (without posting about it, which is totally fine!!). Otherwise the thought of a mother of soon to be eight children with untreated mental health issues really scares me.

Well, Braggie has admitted to battling Trichtillomania her entire life as well as body image issues that include over-exercising (she wrote both blog posts on it back in 2012 but has not mentioned her struggles again aside from those two posts).

 Trichtillomania usually has comorbidities and is common in people diagnosed with OCD and/or OCPD (they are two different disorders).

MY concern & major issue with Braggie lies in the fact that she is WELL aware of her issues (including her narcissism, lack of empathy, etc.) yet apparently does NOTHING about them and takes no responsibility. Braggie merely blames her issues on sin and goes about her day. I wonder if Braggie understands that mental health disorders are no different than physical disorders or whether she believes mental illness is simply “sin”? I hope not the latter. She’s blogged before about not taking her kids to doctors. These concerns are a WAY bigger deal than Braggie being just an annoying blogger that’s not honest and doesn’t share HOW she scores her deals & how she does her DIY projects.

I could definitely be wrong and I HOPE I am but look at what’s evidenced in her Instagram and blog... Again, Braggie wrote about her mental health issues back in 2012, stated stress was a trigger yet, went on to have 3 more children!

Braggie admitted to over-exercising to cope with her body image issues and mentioned that she would have a nervous breakdown if she couldn’t exercise once a day back in 2012 yet, Braggie now exercises more than before despite now having 8 children. 

Braggie admitted that her DIY hobby, shopping, gym excursions, and blog have all robbed her of time in a bad way, as in neglecting her children and husband— her own words. However, Braggie went “all in” by making her family work around the clock to “do her job” and has blogged/instagrammed more over the years with more frequently edited & stages photos.

 

[Anonymousguest]

In the comments of that post she says she has another dresser (thrifted! Of course! That must be mentioned!) That hold all her flats and sandals! Holy cow. 

[ladyaudley]

Someone rejected her on instagram. Which obviously makes her just like Jesus ?

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, ladyaudley said:

Someone rejected her on instagram. Which obviously makes her just like Jesus ?

And she can’t figure out what she did. Maybe it was that last brag about your enormous closet filled with name brand clothing, Braggie.

[SassyPants]

IDK...so she admits to having body image issues, exercises excessively,  yet continues to get pregnant and birth BIG babies. I'm sorry, but how has her body NOT been affected by the continuous pregnancies and birthing huge babies? I had 2 pregnancies, one in my late 20s and the other in my early 30s, both babies weighed exactly 7lbs at birth, and I had between 15 and 20 lb weight gains with each pregnancy... and my body is not the same. I'd add masochist to her list of issues.

She needs to get some help.

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, SassyPants said:

IDK...so she admits to having body image issues, exercises excessively,  yet continues to get pregnant and birth BIG babies. I'm sorry, but how has her body NOT been affected by the continuous pregnancies and birthing huge babies? I had 2 pregnancies, one in my late 20s and the other in my early 30s, both babies weighed exactly 7lbs at birth, and I had between 15 and 20 lb weight gains with each pregnancy... and my body is not the same. I'd add masochist to her list of issues.

She needs to get some help.

So many of the fundies we talk about have issues arise due to “leaving it up to god.” Braggie may not have financial issues like a lot of quiverful fundies, but she still needs to stop. I can’t think of one fundie that we talk about a lot on FJ that didn’t have some major problem caused by having too many kids. For some it’s the health of the mother and for others it’s neglect due to not having enough hours in the day. That’s the thing in fundie land that would reduce the most problems in fundie families the fastest. But they are often stuck. Therefore the abuse and neglect continue. 

[luv2laugh]

Braggie seems incapable of being able to relate to other women and empathize with others let alone her own children. Braggie’s like a younger Lori Alexander. She even hashtagged #truthoveremotions or something. It is SO beyond BIZARRE.