Maxwell 25: Pies, Cakes, Tarts, and Tortes

[mango_fandango]

4 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

Its the dark grandma tights or leggings they wear that  get me. Why? Would cute ruffle white socks or tights that are more appropriate for little girls be immodest? 

I often think that too with AM’s kids. They wear pretty dresses and then the dark leggings underneath. It kinda ruins the look for me. I’m hardly a fashionista, but it’d look so much nicer if the leggings were white or some other light colour, depending on the outfit. 

[Dru]

11 hours ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

The photo today makes me dizzy. All that plaid and all that awful patchwork frumper material. Just because Hobbby Lobby had it on sale.....

Sorry, but I think the frumpers are atrocious and oppressive to all of the girls/women even if they are not old enough to see it. I literally try to see the best in all of these people, but frumpers are just ugly and opressive.

[MamaJunebug]

I like the oversized sweater on the littler guy. Shows that this family is no more or less perfect than anybody else. 

[church_of_dog]

Audiobooks:  I could never listen to them for years because I only thought of them as something for when driving, and that just doesn't work for me.  I lose concentration of the narration so frequently that I was spending all my time rewinding to hear what I'd missed.

Finally I had the idea to listen while doing yard chores -- painting a shed, pulling weeds, even mowing the lawn (just turned up louder, lol).

I can also listen on the treadmill (though sometimes I prefer a video to keep my eyes occupied, as mentioned above).

I'm also looking forward this winter to combining audiobooks and knitting.

On a recent long drive I tried again listening while driving on the straightest, least congested part of my trip, and it worked ok.

I've rejected a few due to not liking the narrator's voice.  And I've gotten really annoyed at some horrible mispronunciations by the narrators.  But more often I find I really enjoy the narrator's voice.

Since early spring I have inhaled over 30 books in this way.  If I was limited to only visual reading, that number would have been more like three in that same time period, just because I have too many projects that keep me too busy to spend much time in regular reading.

 

[meee]

Aww, I like the jumpers, though I agree that particular cloth is a bit much.

I think I've said before, but Anna Marie is sort of my pet fundie. Her family is always so put-together and pretty and she makes her life look so easy and happy.  A stark contrast to Jill R or Zsu or even the rest of the Maxwells.

Another thought: if AM is pregnant, or will be soon, then she'll soon have more living children than Nathan and Melanie do. I wonder how they feel about that, or if they feel like they are allowed to feel anything.

[Divemaster01]

15 hours ago, HereticHick said:

This sentence is so Maxwellian:

"I used to listen to Elisabeth Elliot messages while I sewed for 1/2 hour in the afternoon."

Of course sewing had to have a scheduled timeslot. She couldn't just say "while I sewed in the afternoon"

Lol, sometimes I spent entire days sewing, you can't do much in just 30 minutes.  But then, I lived alone (horrors!) and had no kids.   Married for 19 years now, didn't want kids  

[Captain Obvious]

1 hour ago, meee said:

Aww, I like the jumpers, though I agree that particular cloth is a bit much.

I think I've said before, but Anna Marie is sort of my pet fundie. Her family is always so put-together and pretty and she makes her life look so easy and happy.  A stark contrast to Jill R or Zsu or even the rest of the Maxwells.

Another thought: if AM is pregnant, or will be soon, then she'll soon have more living children than Nathan and Melanie do. I wonder how they feel about that, or if they feel like they are allowed to feel anything.

I actually think Melanie would be silently relieved. I mean, we've seen it quite a lot how women raised in QF-type circles - especially second generation fundies - publicly say they don't intend to limit their family size, but when faced with the reality of homeschooling motherhood, do just that, even if it's by natural methods. While it may be fertility issues that have prevented her from having as many kids as fast as AM, I think it's just as likely that she's deliberately spacing them if not actually avoiding getting pregnant.

While she comes from a large family herself and I assume probably spouted the 'as many as the Lord blesses us with' line at the time of her marriage, the reality would have been particularly difficult for Melanie given the loss of Susannah and difficult pregnancies for the next three. Plus, she's as close to "fundie-lite" of the Maxwell wives and is exposed to more mainstream Christianity on her side of the family. Anna-Marie on the other hand doesn't appear to know any different, has had it a lot easier with her pregnancies and probably hasn't experienced the most difficult bits of having a large family yet, since she's probably only homeschooling one of them so far.

[meee]

5 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

I actually think Melanie would be silently relieved. I mean, we've seen it quite a lot how women raised in QF-type circles - especially second generation fundies - publicly say they don't intend to limit their family size, but when faced with the reality of homeschooling motherhood, do just that, even if it's by natural methods. While it may be fertility issues that have prevented her from having as many kids as fast as AM, I think it's just as likely that she's deliberately spacing them if not actually avoiding getting pregnant.

While she comes from a large family herself and I assume probably spouted the 'as many as the Lord blesses us with' line at the time of her marriage, the reality would have been particularly difficult for Melanie given the loss of Susannah and difficult pregnancies for the next three. Plus, she's as close to "fundie-lite" of the Maxwell wives and is exposed to more mainstream Christianity on her side of the family. Anna-Marie on the other hand doesn't appear to know any different, has had it a lot easier with her pregnancies and probably hasn't experienced the most difficult bits of having a large family yet, since she's probably only homeschooling one of them so far.

I thought they were pretty open about it being fertility issues, weren't they? And a few miscarriages as well?

But even if she's relieved to have it "easier" in terms of childrearing, there's still the guilt factor of feeling like one "should" have more and more and ever more children; look at Jill D, or at least the speculation in those threads, that her life isn't turning out like she thought it was and part of that is not having children quickly/easily.

[Captain Obvious]

1 minute ago, meee said:

I thought they were pretty open about it being fertility issues, weren't they? And a few miscarriages as well?

But even if she's relieved to have it "easier" in terms of childrearing, there's still the guilt factor of feeling like one "should" have more and more and ever more children; look at Jill D, or at least the speculation in those threads, that her life isn't turning out like she thought it was and part of that is not having children quickly/easily.

Oh yeah - I'm sure there's a bit of "that life could have been mine" thing, but also - that life isn't all that it's cracked up to be anyway. Anna-Marie does make it look easy, but she has had it easy so far, and she's may also be doing motherhood in a more restricted way that isn't necessarily what Melanie wants either (the bibs, the matching clothes, the kids not mixing as much with non-family folks).

[OhNoNike]

8 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

I often think that too with AM’s kids. They wear pretty dresses and then the dark leggings underneath. It kinda ruins the look for me. I’m hardly a fashionista, but it’d look so much nicer if the leggings were white or some other light colour, depending on the outfit. 

Mom of two little girls here... I always go wth black because, practically speaking, Black lasts longer.  You can get dirt (or in the case of the maxwells, stuff from cooking), crafts, paint, on them.  I don’t know why clothes are even sold in white lol.  And my MIL loves getting my kids white clothes.  Even gray is fine... but for pants/leggings, I try to go black.  

[anjulibai]

Melanie has had 8 pregnancies total. Despite the initial issues, she's "done well" for any Quiverfull mom. And she has a great testimony because of her struggles, which is uber important in fundieland. It's weird, but most fundies would looooove to have Melanie and Nathan's testimony, probably more than they'd want the extra kids. 

[mango_fandango]

That explanation makes sense @OhNoNike. 

And I agree, the years of infertility plus the Susannah story make for a great testimony. “Throughout their years of heartache, they placed their trust in God, and were rewarded with 5 healthy children!”

[SPHASH]

Congrats Amish Anna on making it through eight years of Maxhell.  And I agree Prissy Chris was 70 years old when he was born.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

15 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

I often think that too with AM’s kids. They wear pretty dresses and then the dark leggings underneath. It kinda ruins the look for me. I’m hardly a fashionista, but it’d look so much nicer if the leggings were white or some other light colour, depending on the outfit. 

This is the kind of thing I would never notice in 1000 years.

9 hours ago, meee said:

or if they feel like they are allowed to feel anything.

This is such a profound statement.  And the saddest part of Maxhell for me.

I think of their emotional psyches being bound as they did with feet in ancient China.  With results just as crippling.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

 

On 10/23/2018 at 12:10 PM, catlady said:

how much sewing can you do in a half-hour increment?  does the half-hour include set up and clean up?  i know Teri needed her schedule broken down that far to get through the day, but i would think it would be counter-productive for some projects.  

:::small voice::: I'm working on similar scheduling for myself.  

21 hours ago, dairyfreelife said:

I was just making a joke about so many small kids giving him gray hair. Balding and graying is more about genetics than anything. Some people start going bald in their late teens, some keep good hair into their 60s and 70s. Not a diss on Chris's appearance, just an acknowledgement about so many young kids. Can't be easy with so many little ones dependent on you for most things all the time. 

As you yourself noted so many young kids have nothing to do with his hair, so it was nothing but a diss on his appearance.  There is so much wrong with him snarking on perfectly normal things that aren't even bad and completely beyond his control seems needlessly mean to me.

21 hours ago, daisyjane1234 said:

I live in a part of the world with a large Mennonite population 

It's a joke in my family that our ancestors came here in the 1700's fleeing religious persecution as the patriarch was a Mennonite clergyman but we couldn't even stick out the Mennonite thing for one generation.  He came over with his adult son, from whom we descend, married a Lutheran within a year and no one looked back!

[meee]

14 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

This is the kind of thing I would never notice in 1000 years.

This is such a profound statement.  And the saddest part of Maxhell for me.

I think of their emotional psyches being bound as they did with feet in ancient China.  With results just as crippling.

I don't think it's unique to the Maxwells, honestly. Look at Michael Bates always trying to be upbeat and positive on Instagram. Look at the Duggars and their motto of "keeping sweet". I think suppressing one's feelings is expected to a certain extent in a lot of these groups. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

55 minutes ago, meee said:

I don't think it's unique to the Maxwells, honestly. Look at Michael Bates always trying to be upbeat and positive on Instagram. Look at the Duggars and their motto of "keeping sweet". I think suppressing one's feelings is expected to a certain extent in a lot of these groups. 

I agree and I think it's tremendously damaging.  Not just crippling them emotionally in a very real way, but keeping sweet is part of how abuse goes unchecked because victims are trained to invalidate themselves.

That was a statement about abuse in general as it happens in all corners of life, it was not about the Maxwells specifically.

The greatest gift my mom ever gave me was the constant assurance that my feelings were always valid and deserved to be acknowledged, even if other people didn't understand them.  And that you could express any thought, no matter how unpleasant, as long as you did it in a non-abusive way.

She separated feeling from behavior.  I could be as angry or upset or resentful as could be and that was okay, but none it gave me the right to be verbally abusive to someone else.

Interestingly, she struggled with this herself her entire life.  She was a victim of abuse as a child and her default was denial and people pleasing...she was extremely uncomfortable acknowledging her own unpleasant emotions.  But she knew this was unhealthy and she went out of our way to give us permission to express out won feelings.

And she backed it up.  For a woman who hated conflict more than Steve hates fun, when we were angry with her as long as we spoke civilly she listened.   If she felt she was wrong she would apologize.  If she felt she was right she'd hold her ground, but always made us feel listened to.  We knew our thoughts and feelings mattered to her.  Even when it was things that were very painful for her to hear.

That took more courage than I ever gave her credit for.

She spent her denying her own truth so everyone else could be happy.  Not rocking the boat.  

She said I was a boat rocker.  I was the one who would point out the elephant in the room everyone one else was so pointedly ignoring.  I was the truth screamer.  She said it made me difficult at times, but she was so proud because she knew that whatever life threw at me I'd be okay...because I knew my own mind and wasn't afraid to make a fuss when things were wrong.  She said that's the only way things get better.  She said as long as you're speaking from the heart saying what you believe to be true, don't shut up; no matter how many people want you to.

Sorry - it's 3:37 and I haven't been to sleep yet - waxing a little rhapsodic.

But if any fundies are listening...silencing your kids doesn't keep them close.  Listening to them does.

[CyborgKin]

I loved reading paper novels but I've largely replaced that with audiobooks in the last few years.  All the series I'm reading are on Audible and it's cheaper (and less house-filling!) to have a monthly subscription rather than buy hardcopies of everything.  That and it doesn't use up paper.

But my current dilemma is whether to spend my new book credit for this month on the new Honor Harrington novel (the latest in a VERY long series of now ridiculously long books because the author - David Weber - uses text to speech and doesn't have an editor to chuck out the boring half.  But that just means I can semi-tune out while exercising and just pay attention to the fun bits) OR get the second book in John Scalzi's Collapsing Empire series.

Hmm, both are set in the future and involve humans with spaceships with interstellar travel capability.  Though they're very different too.  Also I'm just rambling...

So I read the new Seven Sisters thread just before this one and it got me thinking, PSarah needs some of the sisters to teach her how to smile for photos properly.

[AllisonWndrland]

Say Steve and Jesse one more time, Teri. 

[FloraKitty35]

So, if Teri says "Steve & Jesse" three times they'll appear just like Beetlejuice?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

15 minutes ago, FloraKitty35 said:

So, if Teri says "Steve & Jesse" three times they'll appear just like Beetlejuice?

Then don’t say it.  All day I’ve stuck (pretty much) to my schedule of 20 minute increments and just settled down with a yummy but visually unappealing dinner.

and a cream soda.

i don’t want to get in trouble.

 

[Elegant Mess]

4 hours ago, AllisonWndrland said:

Say Steve and Jesse one more time, Teri. 

Too bad they can't go as a married couple.   According to the website for the conference, the married couple's rate for admission is less than the price for two individuals.  

[ophelia]

6 hours ago, FloraKitty35 said:

So, if Teri says "Steve & Jesse" three times they'll appear just like Beetlejuice?

Oh what a nightmare this would be. Beetlejuice scared the shit outta me when I was a kid, but having Steve and Jesse in my presence doesn't make me feel much more comfortable.

[HereticHick]

When I saw that Steve and Jesse are going to a Christian Apologetics Conference, I got all excited and hoped the very Rev. Vuolo would be there speaking as well. Alas.

Is this a good spot for Jesse to hunt for a helpmeet? Or is he meeting up with an already targeted potential helpmeet? Or her daddy? Inquiring minds want to know.

[Alisamer]

13 hours ago, FloraKitty35 said:

So, if Teri says "Steve & Jesse" three times they'll appear just like Beetlejuice?

Don't say it! They might!

Seriously I've seen this happen in real life. Standing in my office, the boss said something about one of our... interesting customers. I said, "No! Don't say her name! You'll summon her!" lol! He responded with "Brenda Brenda Brenda" and at that exact moment, around the corner comes Brenda, after not having seen her for months.