Seewalds 36: Waiting for the Next Cute Kid Video or Photo

[Carm_88]

On 11/5/2018 at 7:15 PM, DundeeUnFundie said:

I've seen a lot about her having 'body insecurities', but I haven't really noticed? Can anyone tell me where these have come from? (I'm fairly new) Thanks!

She's made many references on Counting On. I know that when they were doing the thrift store date with Joe/Kendra and Josiah/Lauren, Jessa really didn't want to say her size and she made a couple of remarks about making sure it fit her stomach area to Ben. It was done in a joking manner, but you could also tell that it was serious.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

Even before she had babies, she was insecure about her looks. There’s a story in the girls’ book about her making the family late for church because she kept changing her clothes and hair out of fear that she didn’t look good. I think they wrapped it up with “Jesus loves us no matter what we look like,” but she clearly has deep-seated insecurity.

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Even before she had babies, she was insecure about her looks. There’s a story in the girls’ book about her making the family late for church because she kept changing her clothes and hair out of fear that she didn’t look good. I think they wrapped it up with “Jesus loves us no matter what we look like,” but she clearly has deep-seated insecurity.

I also remember a scene from when Benessa were courting. Ben had started living on their property and I think Jim Bob was talking to them about how it was going. At some point Jessa mentioned something about her looks - I think it had to do with being concerned about looking good or wearing makeup more often because Ben was around. I don’t remember anything else about the episode, just that I think Jessa had brought food for Ben at the start of that scene. 

[MsSaylor]

And in one of those after show things they do the couples had to write down something that bothered them about their partner (or something along those lines) and Ben put down something about how Jessa gets down on herself for her weight. Jessa was mortifief (poor clueless Ben) and she specifically said she was 7(?) pounds over her goal weight. I feel dumb for remembering this.

[AussieKrissy]

2 minutes ago, MsSaylor said:

And in one of those after show things they do the couples had to write down something that bothered them about their partner (or something along those lines) and Ben put down something about how Jessa gets down on herself for her weight. Jessa was mortifief (poor clueless Ben) and she specifically said she was 7(?) pounds over her goal weight. I feel dumb for remembering this.

I feel for her, one day (like me) she will look back on photos and think "what the fuck was I worried about?" Sigh, you can not put an old head on young shoulders.

I would like to have had a whisper in my ear at that age from future me. Not that i would have believed future me, that I looked great. I would however, take a punt on the lotto numbers future me gave me though.... lol

[SeekingAdventure]

I think (almost) every girl/woman has a time in her life where she's insecure about something she wouldn't need to be insecure about. 

It's probably why I can relate to Jessa the best, she's kinda normal in those ways. Relateable...

weight is always the 'easiest' thing to get yourself down on, because it is seemingly easy to change it. (not saying thats true)

 

at some point you look back and think. wtf was I so worried about?

 

and @SapphireSlytherin hell yeah i'd be down with it

[StraightOuttaArkansas]

Not to drag on the Primark thing here, but I wanted add: I love it for experimenting with style when I have a tiny tiny clothes budget. The HP merch is awesome. Socks and pjs as mentioned. They also do a lot of cute Disney stuff now. I got some really nice silky feeling Aladdin pjs this summer that were not childish looking at all. Another huge thing for me is children's clothes. Kids grow so fast sometimes and especially with jeans for my son it was a nightmare to try and afford that. I was so happy to discover Primark around that time. They also had more fits (it seemed) than H&M for little boys (Little Outta 1 has long legs, but was on the shorter side and had no meat on his bones. Not joking, super skinny style is baggy on him.) Now with this next growth spurt in the teenage years (like a foot in two years!?!?) just wow, his jeans all look like new because he out grew them so fast. Thank goodness for younger cousins to pass them onto. Another thing is the quality is not always awful. I have things from there that I wear all the time that are already 6 years old. Shoes are iffy, but I am ok with that because I like changing out my shoe and am notoriously bad at getting rid of something that is not irreparable. A big name brand does not always equal better quality. I have a pair of Walmart jeans that I have been wearing since high school (15 years almost) off and on (when I am that size) and they are still in great condition, but I have seen some more expensive items from my hubby (a Polo sweater I think it was) get a hole in the space of 6 months. I don't judge on brand names anymore.

[bal maiden]

14 hours ago, SeekingAdventure said:

@SapphireSlytherin sounds awesome. yeah I'm gonna check if any of my colleagues wanna cime. otherwise solo roadtrip. yay. 

I'm honestly not sure which side of the grand canyon I did. it's been five years. i'd have to google it.

bryce was my firtst thought though. do you think i'd need two days just for bryce?

Bryce canyon is one of the most incredible places I've ever been. I needed more than a day though because I am crap at altitude and needed to adjust. You may also need lots of warm stuff at this time of year. Zion is also wonderful. 

[KelseyAnn]

On 11/5/2018 at 4:47 PM, BachelorToTheRapture said:

I'm within a month of Jessa's age and wear long, loose (cozy, warm, comfy) cardigans almost every day. I look good enough for work, fine for daily activities, can dress it up if I need to, and feel like I'm in pajamas. Plus I live in Minnesota, I need all the warm clothes I can get!

I think it's officially winter here - the Ugg boots have come out. ?

[HarleyQuinn]

I've brought/worn cardigans at weddings/events as well because I'm also one that gets cold easily (currently wearing a grandpa sweater that's a size too big) but I think what made Jessa's look frumpy was that she buttoned the front of it. Leaving it undone lets the dress be the center piece of the outfit. It probably would've looked better that way. 

[SeekingAdventure]

oh I'm so excited. leaving tomorrow early and we'll be there for two days. my colleague had everything booked already and i'm tagging along. will be awesome! Thanks guys for the recommendations

 

and @StraightOuttaArkansas yeah i am sure it's great for kids as they outgrow everything so quick. i never said iw was bad either, just that i am never lucky with selections

[Crazy Enough to Join]

Is it physically possible that Jessa is still quiverful with this long of a pregnancy gap at her age?

[singsingsing]

22 minutes ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

Is it physically possible that Jessa is still quiverful with this long of a pregnancy gap at her age?

Definitely! In fact, a lot of quiverfull women (or women who aren't using birth control for whatever reason) end up with gaps just like this, or even larger. Breastfeeding can suppress fertility for quite a while. Hormonal shifts post-pregnancy - stress, exhaustion, and a lack of 'fellowship' or just not getting the timing right can also do it. She could have had a miscarriage or two, or not be ovulating regularly, or just be missing ovulation when she 'fellowships'. And sometimes women can experience secondary infertility for reasons that are never explained or understood. 

So while I'd love to say this lengthy gap between babies means that Jessa and Ben have embraced some sort of family planning, it's just impossible to know unless they choose to share that information.

[SassyPants]

I think part of the spacing is d/t Jeremy and Jinger. In some ways, I think Jesse envies Jinger's life, lifestyle and distance from the TTH.

[BachelorToTheRapture]

On 11/8/2018 at 8:13 AM, KelseyAnn said:

I think it's officially winter here - the Ugg boots have come out. ?

Sad react is because I'm NOT ready for winter. We just got done with this late April!!

[JesSky03]

3 minutes ago, BachelorToTheRapture said:

Sad react is because I'm NOT ready for winter. We just got done with this late April!!

I woke up to an inch of snow today ? 

[BachelorToTheRapture]

25 minutes ago, JesSky03 said:

I woke up to an inch of snow today ? 

I have about the same, plus a sore back from slipping while walking the dog last night when the snow started. And it's not supposed to melt within a couple days like it usually would this time of year

[Mama Mia]

1 hour ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

Is it physically possible that Jessa is still quiverful with this long of a pregnancy gap at her age?

Absolutely. As sing sing sing said, there’s a lot of variation in how quickly women will get pregnant when they aren’t trying, but just aren’t preventing. I think people usually have the “trying for one year” statistic in their head. But that applies to well...trying. Not to having suppressed ovulation due to breastfeeding and hormones. Or to just mostly being exhausted and covered in babies 24/7 so the fellowshipping is just when you get the chance. 

I’ve read that typical spacing, without preventing,  is getting pregnant every 6 months to 3 years following the birth of the last child.  And the same woman might vary considerably within those parameters, and some will fall outside of them on either end. 

 

[Flossie]

4 hours ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

Is it physically possible that Jessa is still quiverful with this long of a pregnancy gap at her age?

You never can tell. 

I had a friend in high school who was born to a mother who'd already had a few children that were grown and married.  When her mother got pregnant again the doctor thought she had a tumor and was about to undergo a hysterectomy.  The tumor turned out to be my friend who is an aunt to kids older than she and her closest friend growing up was her niece that was less than a year younger than her.

My MIL didn't use BC at all and after one pregnancy that resulted in a stillbirth, no more kids for another 10 years, then two kids in 18 months.

My ex has a cousin who got married right out of high school.  The happy couple decided to use birth control for a couple of years before having children, but things didn't go as planned.  After a year of unprotected sex, still no pregnancy so the husband got his sperm checked and the wife started doing some kind of thing where she had to take her temperature every morning.  It took 18 months to get pregnant.  When the first child was 18 months old, they decided to try again.  The wife went off BC and they thought that they'd give it six months before they started trying the temperature thing again.  The wife got pregnant the very first month after discontinuing the pills and they ended up with a Christmas baby.

I've got a nephew who went through all sorts of fertility treatments with his wife for several years and they finally took out a loan for two rounds of in vitro fertilization.  After that they were prepared to look into adoption.  On the second attempt, his wife got pregnant.  After that, they had three more kids in rapid succession before my nephew got snipped.

For me, I was able to easily space my first two out over three years, and we thought we were done.  Due to health issues, our doctor said I wouldn't be able to get pregnant again without medical intervention, or maybe he meant it was extremely unlikely.  But I had a Surprise! pregnancy six years later.  

Again, you never can tell.

[Carm_88]

4 hours ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

Is it physically possible that Jessa is still quiverful with this long of a pregnancy gap at her age?

Yes, for the reasons that people have already stated. My grandmother had gaps in her pregnancies, she had three in three years and then a gap. Jessa had Spurgeon and Henry pretty close together, Henry had allergies and she breast fed him for longer then she did Spurgeon. She was also watching what she ate a lot because she was. Plus Spurgeon is an active toddler, it seems like she had a fair amount on her plate. That's not to say that Ben isn't involved, but with two active kids, there's a chance that they're just tired.

[SapphireSlytherin]

3 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

there’s a lot of variation in how quickly women will get pregnant when they aren’t trying, but just aren’t preventing.

Mr.Slytherin and I went out to eat last night - nothing fancy, just Waffle House on a dark and rainy night. (ha)

Our server was talking to a young server who had just started working there, and the young girl said she had a 4-month-old boy. 

Our server then mentioned that she had a 29-year-old, and 28-year-old, and a 24-year-old, and that she (the SERVER - not any of her kids) is PREGNANT with a boy due next month. I about fell out of my seat.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Rufus Bless that waitress!   That is positively my worst nightmare, getting pregnant right now. My kids are 21 & 18 and I'm at the very end of my fertility and in the throws of perimenopause, so in 8 more years it will be even more impossible, I can't imagine having to start all over again after raising 3 children and those 3 children presumably being out on their own now.  Not to start the abortion talk in this thread too, but I've always though I could never have an abortion myself, but honestly if I got pregnant today, I would terminate.  I'm 48 years old, my husband is 57, we've talked about the what if a few times over the years and he always said "well I guess we'd just have another one no matter how hard it would be", and I'm like (thinking to myself) nope, I guess I would have to not tell you about it and terminate. No fucking way I'm doing that to myself again. HE isn't the one that would have to be pregnant and 40+ years old It was hard enough on my 29 year old body, can't imagine how bad it would be 20 years later.

[Meggo]

We did IVF, IUI- and ended up adopting. People swore that when we did adopt- we would get pregnant (random aunts- not like- people who had a clue).

five years later- no pregnancy in sight. I am 44, hubs is 49- if we WERE to get pregnant- you have to perform CPR on both of us because we would keel over from shock.

 

(I think we would likely keep the baby but- hooooo boy that would be a shocker)

[grandmadugger]

My mom always told me never to listen to doctors about being able to get pregnant. She was told that she was in menopause and her ability to have a baby was over. Obviously my parents had been preventing previous to this. They had been married 5 years and no babies. My dad had two kids one was 15 and the other 14. Within a few weeks of being told she was past her prime she was pregnant with me.  Oh and I was a bitch in the womb. Horrible morning sickness, I pinched nerves, I didn’t want to come out and I have been doing my own thing since. 

[StraightOuttaArkansas]

Wow, I though the nearly 14 years between my kids was an age gap. Bless that server. I hope everything turns out well for her.