Seewalds 36: Waiting for the Next Cute Kid Video or Photo

[Coconut Flan]

Continued from here:

 

[Carm_88]

I'm waiting fora  pregnancy announcement, I don't think they adopted twins.

As for the possibility of adoption. Jessa and Ben have a very stable life and home compared to the situations that some young birth mothers have. Unfortunately, there's a lot of poverty still.

[DillyDally]

I also don't really see them adopting TWIN babies at this point. I think they do love their children dearly, but they also realized how much work it is with two kids in diapers.

A post by Sierra would also be a really weird way to announce it. Speaking of announcements, I had a work colleague in the UK who adopted two kids and was not allowed to share any pictures of them for a period of time (2 years? not sure)  to protect them. I realize the standards might be completely different in the US though, depending on the agency etc.

They also haven't talked at ALL about their "desire to adopt" in the last season, whereas they constantly mentioned it in previous seasons. Only "baby fever" 

So who knows, maybe they will drop a bomb after all 

[nst]

17 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I'm waiting fora  pregnancy announcement, I don't think they adopted twins.

As for the possibility of adoption. Jessa and Ben have a very stable life and home compared to the situations that some young birth mothers have. Unfortunately, there's a lot of poverty still.

I think I vote for them adopting twins. It would be very them.  

It would elevate them on a whole other level 

and they could name them 

Bethany for a boy and Charity for a girl 

[freshlemonade]

Little Debbie fan here.  I remember getting the oatmeal pies as a kid.

My kids go crazy over Cosmic Brownies  so I'll buy them once in a blue moon to sneak into their lunches. 

My all time favorite- Star Crunch!!!   Its like a chocolate-covered caramel rice krispie treat.   

[ati_escapee]

I doubt that any of the Duggar's will adopt kids. The whole "sins of the father" thing. That being said, I did know one ATI/IBLP family who adopted kids, but just one. 

Oh and I guess my family. My sister and I were adopted, but only because my parents couldn't have kids of their own. We were also adopted at birth. My parents didn't meet their IBLP/ATI (I don't even know what it's called now) friends until we were a little older, so I don't really know their thoughts on adoption and what Gothard said about it. My parents refuse to talk about any of that now. 

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

Jessa has a number of fertile years ahead of her. If they're not actively family planning, I can't see them adopting anytime soon.

[Carm_88]

Did someone predict cute Spurgeon and Henry video? Because here it is.

[candygirl200413]

Henry is literally Spurgeon's twin with blonde and wavy(?) hair. 

[Mama Mia]

Duggar or Fundie or Celebrity or not - I would be incredibly pissed if the first photos and announcement of my new adopted babies came from some random friend !  But I think it’s idle speculation that doesn’t make any sense anyway at this point in their lives.

IME, most people with an intention to adopt ( when fertility isn’t the issue ) , want to do it because they want to provide a better life for some child who doesn’t have many options. In their case “better” likely = Jesus. But also includes things like extreme poverty, abuse, help with special needs etc.

If they adopt eventually I hope they go through the foster care system and adopt a sibling group. The vast majority of US kids available for adoption are sibling groups ( especially 3 or more kids ) in foster care.  They seem like very good parents in being able to acknowledge and appreciate their kids as individual personalities, and at least appear to have the temperaments to deal with frustrations. And being older siblings coming from large Families , they can likely handle the stress, noise, scheduling, physical and emotional juggling more than most. 

Another bonus of going through foster care is that there are regulations regarding discipline ( probably more stringent in my state of California, than Arkansas, but still, a plus ) .  I really hope Micheal Bates ( don’t recall her husband ), if they choose to adopt, goes this route. For the same reasons. 

The only way I could see them adopting healthy newborn twins right now is if it was a family friend in a tight spot who really wanted then to take them in. 

 

[potato]

I don't know if it's the hair or what, but lately Spurgeon looks like a toddler version of Harry Styles to me.

Spoiler

 

[SamiKatz]

2 hours ago, potato said:

I don't know if it's the hair or what, but lately Spurgeon looks like a toddler version of Harry Styles to me.

  Hide contents

 

 

I think Harry Styles is a spawn of Mick Jagger, he looks so much like him (Jagger) as a younger man.

[Carm_88]

Ah Jessa posting yummy looking food and mentioning wanting the recipe. Is she shading Jill? Who knows


Jessa is out with Laura and Jana

[Audrey2]

Hmm... I see the wine menu laid out on the table...shall we start a rumour?

[Carm_88]

1 hour ago, Audrey2 said:

Hmm... I see the wine menu laid out on the table...shall we start a rumour?

Edit: I'm going to pull a Pickles!

I heard from a super secret inside source that Jana, Jessa, and Laura went out to lunch, got drunk on wine. They were so drunk and over the top that they were on the tables of the restaurant singing Man I Feel Like a Woman by Shania Twain and Girls Run the World by Beyonce at the top of their lungs. 

[NoKidsAndCounting]

Rumor....or fanfic? ?

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

Jessa's food pic reminds me of an experitmental pasta dish I made a few days ago. It was a creamy cilantro lime sauce with sautéed zucchini and peppers, topped with blackened chicken breast (if I liked fish more, I could see it being good with salmon). We're on the same wavelength! Time to instagram some cute pics of my canine children.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

Laura definitely seems to be treated like part of the family...much more so than Tabby ever was.  Is she Jana’s permanent replacement since Jana has a ‘special someone’? Or maybe Laura has something going on with someone that lives in the area?  Inquiring minds want to know...

[Hisey]

Quote

Posters like to cite typical adoption regulations, but private adoption is a whole other thing.   They could find an unwed mother, convince her not to have an abortion, and essentially buy her baby from her.  It happens. 

I think people don't realize how much they hurt adopted kids when they say things like this.

I know many privately adopted kids. Their parents were quite ethical, and the birth mother was not coerced--far from it. No money exchanged hands for the child--that is illegal. The adoptive parents paid certain medical expenses (in some cases). In all cases, the adoptions are open and everyone is happy and on good terms.

Everyone is happy, that is, till some stranger shows up  announces the kid was "bought." If the kid hears this comment, this rachets up his insecurity and sense of doubt about his place in the family. The stranger is NOT someone who has adopted (or helped kids in any other way), he just has lots of opinions about who should and who shouldn't.

The kids I know would be  horrified to hear that you think they were bought. That would be so damaging to them.  Adopted kids can be insecure to begin with, and they struggle to not to feel like damaged goods. When adults throw around cruel comments like, "You were bought" that really hurts those children. They are already struggling to feel like real, valid members of their adopted families, not like sacks of flour from Walmart.

Why would you say such a hurtful thing, anyway? Do you actually know kids who were bought? Do you think adoption from the state (which also involves the exchange of money) is the only valid type of adoption? 

My own kids are adopted (internationally) which is why I know a bit about this. And my kids would also be hurt to hear they were "bought" as well. I've told them how we paid people for the work that they did (like preparing papers and translation, etc), but all that unravels when they hear ignorant remarks like yours. 

Sorry, but it bothers me when adults insult vulnerable, often at-risk kids by labeling them in such damaging ways. 

(You are correct, though, that if a birth mother is OK with a family, there is no rule saying the family needs a certain number of bedrooms or whatever. And that's a good thing. The birth mother should be able to choose any family she wants without the state interfering.)

 

[SapphireSlytherin]

9 hours ago, Hisey said:

Why would you say such a hurtful thing, anyway? Do you actually know kids who were bought?

First of all:  I would never tell any child they had been "purchased" or "bought" as a way of describing adoption.

Second of all:  I know at least three now-adults who were adopted as infants, who still have NO IDEA they are not biologically related to their parents.

Let me address the second question in the part of your post that I quoted:

In speaking with a former co-worker who was privately adopting a newborn (through a legal mediator), he mentioned the cost of adopting a baby. He specifically said, "If we want Baby A, we need to raise our bid. The birth mom wants more money than we initially offered, and another family has offered $X so we're going to offer $Y." So, in that instance, it does sound more like a purchase contract - which horrified me THEN and horrifies me NOW.

[Four is Enough]

People bidding on babies is adoption FRAUD. It is illegal in private adoptions; it is illegal in adoptions through service providers. I'm not saying it doesn't happen but we worked hard to be very transparent in our monetary dealings with our birth mothers. For instance, any monies given were through the attorney and an escrow set up for that purpose. No actual cash changed hands between us, and the only things we could pay for were approved medical, legal, mental health type bills. ONCE, I went beyond that to help a birth mother who was in danger of having a utility cut off. I contacted the utility company and paid the bill directly. Still didn't give the mother cash.

My children all experienced angst over being "thrown away" even though we told them their birth parents "made a plan" for them, which was the lingo of the time. I much preferred the "made a plan" over the "you were chosen".... which makes it seem as if we picked them out of a catalogue, which we most certainly did not.

 

One of my kids found out that we received a small stipend from the state for our sibling pair.  He then demanded the money "HE" was supposed to get. He thought we got paid by the kid.... It was very difficult to explain that it was not the case, and that money would not do much beyond get them school books and lunches anyway. 

[TheMustardCardigan]

I really doubt the Seewalds will adopt twins, but I think it's even more unlikely that the twins in Sierra's post were adopted by the Seewalds. Sierra has other friends besides the Duggars. 

[Charliemae]

12 hours ago, Hisey said:

I think people don't realize how much they hurt adopted kids when they say things like this.

I know many privately adopted kids. Their parents were quite ethical, and the birth mother was not coerced--far from it. No money exchanged hands for the child--that is illegal. The adoptive parents paid certain medical expenses (in some cases). In all cases, the adoptions are open and everyone is happy and on good terms.

Everyone is happy, that is, till some stranger shows up  announces the kid was "bought." If the kid hears this comment, this rachets up his insecurity and sense of doubt about his place in the family. The stranger is NOT someone who has adopted (or helped kids in any other way), he just has lots of opinions about who should and who shouldn't.

The kids I know would be  horrified to hear that you think they were bought. That would be so damaging to them.  Adopted kids can be insecure to begin with, and they struggle to not to feel like damaged goods. When adults throw around cruel comments like, "You were bought" that really hurts those children. They are already struggling to feel like real, valid members of their adopted families, not like sacks of flour from Walmart.

Why would you say such a hurtful thing, anyway? Do you actually know kids who were bought? Do you think adoption from the state (which also involves the exchange of money) is the only valid type of adoption? 

My own kids are adopted (internationally) which is why I know a bit about this. And my kids would also be hurt to hear they were "bought" as well. I've told them how we paid people for the work that they did (like preparing papers and translation, etc), but all that unravels when they hear ignorant remarks like yours. 

Sorry, but it bothers me when adults insult vulnerable, often at-risk kids by labeling them in such damaging ways. 

(You are correct, though, that if a birth mother is OK with a family, there is no rule saying the family needs a certain number of bedrooms or whatever. And that's a good thing. The birth mother should be able to choose any family she wants without the state interfering.)

 

You took a LOT from my short statement that is absolutely not there.  I don't even know how to respond to this rant that seems to be directed at me.  

The adoption industry in America is broken.  People CAN AND DO buy infants.  Especially white infants.  People with little means are told not to have abortions and than told they aren't fit to raise those children.  I didn't think I needed to say that not all adoptions are predatory in nature but some are. 

It HURTS ADOPTED KIDS to pretend they didn't have a past. 

*also a whole other can of worms we could open here is the children that were taken by the american government because they are immigrants and are now being adopted out... or that amazing Christen group that was placing "orphans" from haiti and adopting them to white Christian american families... never mind they weren't actually orphans.  

ADOPTION IS A TRAGDY on all sides, bio parents, adopted children and most parents who adopt are aware of this... It's a world of loss and hurt and needs to be navigated with care and understanding for individual situations.  I don't know yours and you don't know mine..

[SapphireSlytherin]

10 minutes ago, Charliemae said:

People CAN AND DO buy infants.

This. 100%.

Just because something is "illegal" doesn't mean it can't (and doesn't) happen.

 

[Carm_88]

37 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

This. 100%.

Just because something is "illegal" doesn't mean it can't (and doesn't) happen.

 

I was going to point that out lol. We wouldn't need jails, if something being illegal meant people didn't do it.

It's sad that people still buy kids, but by saying it hurts people; that doesn't make it less true.