Lady Lydia: Still Living in an Alternate Universe

[formergothardite]

Didn't Lady Lydia travel out of the country fairly recently? Like in the last couple years? 

Feigned helplessness is another good description of Lydia. 

[Cartmann99]

4 hours ago, feministxtian said:

She's here in Nevada. She'll shit bricks if they end up down here in LV. Her head just might explode!!!!

Which nutter was it who ended up driving through Vegas for some reason or other, and prayed the whole time to protect themselves from the demons who live there? I remembered hoping that one of those roving gangs of showgirls who kidnap people and make them get tattoos and gamble all of their money away would get them.

[feministxtian]

40 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

I spent a long time relating to Lydia as though she was a tottering octogenarian until someone corrected me.   In fact the old fart is several years younger than me.  She gives everyone over 50 a bad name!

Well, this over 50 is SOL...I just unloaded the muscle car (dammit). I'm wearing an ensemble featuring clothes from Ross & the thrift store, along with tennis shoes and a hoodie (it's cold as fuck for us desert dwellers, I don't think it's hit 75 today). Oh, and I'm at work...where I will be for roughly the next 5-7 hours

Edited October 10, 2018 by feministxtian

[Sobeknofret]

2 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Am I the only one who takes snacks beyond cheese and crackers and tea on a long road trip??

The last road trip I went on we had crackers, cheese, yogurt, beef jerky, cookies, granola bars, nuts, peanut butter, 4 different kinds of fruit, carrots, and grape tomatoes. Plus water, gatorade, LaCroix fizzy water, and chocolate milk. And we weren't even going that far!

[feministxtian]

3 minutes ago, Cartmann99 said:

Which nutter was it who ended up driving through Vegas for some reason or other, and prayed the whole time to protect themselves from the demons who live there? I remembered hoping that one of those roving gangs of showgirls who kidnap people and make them get tattoos and gamble all of their money away would get them.

Where are these demons??? I seem to have not noticed them, although I don't head over to the strip unless I absolutely HAVE to. It's funny, I live like less than 3 miles west of the strip and you can't pay me enough to go there. Well, I might hit the outlets but they're on the north and south end of the strip and easily accessible from the freeway so I don't have to take my life into my hands on LV BLVD. 

 

[VooDooChild]

3 hours ago, formergothardite said:

 You know how kids can wrap up in an old sheet and pretend they look just like a princess? Well that is what Lydia does, except with cheap things from Walmart and the Dollar Tree. She pretends she is the upper class during Victorian times and smugly looks down on the rest of us who are in the real world. 

 

This is the most accurate thing I have ever read on the internet.

[PennySycamore]

@NachosFlandersStyle, when did story become the correct  spelling in American English?  Has it been since Noah Webster or is it relatively recent?  Not doubting you, but even this old dog needs to learn a new trick or two.

[Palimpsest]

2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Didn't Lady Lydia travel out of the country fairly recently? Like in the last couple years? 

Feigned helplessness is another good description of Lydia. 

Yep.  She made a valiant attempt to visit every gift shop in Australia.  Oh, and her family.  She appeared far more interested in the "unique" gift shops than she was in her long-lost family.  And I think she was going for Australian spelling, not British, but that still makes her pretentious.  

Feigned and deliberate helplessness sounds right.  In reality I suspect that she is as tough as an old boot.  An old boot that really loves to kick others while they are down.

I won't rule out "needs professional help" for Lydia.  However, I think we are probably wasting our sympathy on her.  She would condemn us harlots to Hell in a heartbeat just for disagreeing with her.  I think of her as Loathsome Lydia for a reason.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

20 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

@NachosFlandersStyle, when did story become the correct  spelling in American English?  Has it been since Noah Webster or is it relatively recent?  Not doubting you, but even this old dog needs to learn a new trick or two.

No idea-- I'm an editor and I just go with whatever current resources say.

[Palimpsest]

2 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Well, this over 50 is SOL...I just unloaded the muscle car (dammit). I'm wearing an ensemble featuring clothes from Ross & the thrift store, along with tennis shoes and a hoodie (it's cold as fuck for us desert dwellers, I don't think it's hit 75 today). Oh, and I'm at work...where I will be for roughly the next 5-7 hours

Dear Rufus.  Such a good example of a harlot for Lady Lydia.  How dare you work!  Your outfit does not sound at all feminine - unless it is pink and flowered and beskirted.  And (dammit) women do not unload cars.  That is man's work.  How dare you emasculate your Lord and Ruler!

You should be contemplating God as you adhere pink glitter to your toilet seat.  You could be staring at your tea cup and remembering where you bought it.  You could be gluing flowers to a Hobby Lobby or Dollar Store object or pink-painting - something!  Anything!

Where are your priorities, woman! 

[feministxtian]

3 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

You could be staring at your tea cup and remembering where you bought it

My coffee cup on my desk is a black/gold/silver Las Vegas Golden Nights thermal cup. 

 

4 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

You could be gluing flowers to a Hobby Lobby or Dollar Store object or pink-painting - something!  Anything!

Dear Rufus...I'd be throwing up. 

And, my ensemble today is mostly black...black pants, black tennis shoes, black/white top and red hoodie (my office is fucking cold)

I'm fucking pissed at Account execs and managers that DO NOT respect my time. Goddammit fuckers! 

It's been one of those days where I just want to throat punch everybody

[Cartmann99]

13 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

You should be contemplating God as you adhere pink glitter to your toilet seat. 

This reminds me of that old joke about the woman who accidentally used glitter hair spray instead of feminine deodorant spray before an appointment at the gynecologist's office. 

[Lisafer]

2 hours ago, Cartmann99 said:

Which nutter was it who ended up driving through Vegas for some reason or other, and prayed the whole time to protect themselves from the demons who live there? I remembered hoping that one of those roving gangs of showgirls who kidnap people and make them get tattoos and gamble all of their money away would get them.

I'm now imagining @feministxtian as the leader of one of these roving gangs that capture delicate fundie women, throw away their smelling salts, and force them to wear pants and get jobs ?.

But don't worry about the demons. You can recognize them easily--they're timeshare salesmen!

[Georgiana]

4 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

This is the best short description of a person I have ever read. It's so on-point that it has somehow superseded my previous mental image of her as a bargain basement Dolores Umbridge.

Dolores Umbridge, but instead of an office in a castle, she sits with all the same decor inside a broken down truck in her neighbor’s yard. And also that’s her neighbor’s truck, not hers, so why did she decorate it? And also who is she hosting office hours for in her inexplicably decorated truck? She’s not associated with any school! Who is she trying to teach?

 

[mango_fandango]

Oh my word.

Lady Lydia is batshit.

[feministxtian]

56 minutes ago, Lisafer said:

I'm now imagining @feministxtian as the leader of one of these roving gangs that capture delicate fundie women, throw away their smelling salts, and force them to wear pants and get jobs ?.

But don't worry about the demons. You can recognize them easily--they're timeshare salesmen!

Ya find 'em at the outlet malls...us nasty women make 'em wear pants and get jobs...in housekeeping at the "no tell motels" that are all over the place. And, if there's no openings there, send 'em to Siegal Suites...

[Black Aliss]

7 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Am I the only one who takes snacks beyond cheese and crackers and tea on a long road trip??

No. We no longer travel with coffee brewing paraphernalia because there are coffee houses in just about any small city (Not LaPine, OR, though, but also no reason to stop in LaPine) but we do travel with a small cooler of fresh fruits, tomatoes and cucumbers in season, cheese, cured meats and cookies. And a nice  crusty baguette. No crackers.

 

Bless her heart. She's not right in the head.

Edited October 11, 2018 by Black Aliss

[DomWackTroll]

"The other area of rudeness is asking who someone voted for. At the start of an election, many people will encourage others to vote for their favorite candidate or issues, and may be quite open about what they think is right or wrong,  but once the election is past, the door is slammed shut, so to speak, and it is considered a very private matter."

Translation: I voted for Trump. 

[Georgiana]

59 minutes ago, DomWackTroll said:

"The other area of rudeness is asking who someone voted for. At the start of an election, many people will encourage others to vote for their favorite candidate or issues, and may be quite open about what they think is right or wrong,  but once the election is past, the door is slammed shut, so to speak, and it is considered a very private matter."

Translation: I voted for Trump. 

“How DARE people ask me questions that I don’t want to answer honestly?!?”

[Black Aliss]

6 hours ago, Lisafer said:

 

But don't worry about the demons. You can recognize them easily--they're timeshare salesmen!

telemarketers

[Cartmann99]

3 hours ago, DomWackTroll said:

"The other area of rudeness is asking who someone voted for. At the start of an election, many people will encourage others to vote for their favorite candidate or issues, and may be quite open about what they think is right or wrong,  but once the election is past, the door is slammed shut, so to speak, and it is considered a very private matter."

Translation: I voted for Trump. 

Well, she did want to make some outfits for the Trump and the Pence women:

 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

8 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@NachosFlandersStyle, when did story become the correct  spelling in American English?  Has it been since Noah Webster or is it relatively recent?  Not doubting you, but even this old dog needs to learn a new trick or two.

I couldn't find exactly when Americans began favoring "story" over "storey", but I did discover a small fact. Both my 9th edition (1988) and my 11th edition (2014) Webster's Collegiate Dictionaries list "storey" as an alternate spelling, without calling it a British variant. Both "favour" and "humour" are only listed as "chiefly Brit. var of..." the American spelling of each word. I guess it's an accepted, but less common spelling in the U.S.?

4 hours ago, DomWackTroll said:

"The other area of rudeness is asking who someone voted for.

Oh dear. Perhaps the Lovely Lady Lydia is too erudite to adhere to the plebian rule of not ending one's sentence with a preposition? (I have heard arguments against it.) She missed such a ripe opportunity to use the word "whom". "The other area of rudeness is asking for whom someone voted." (My inner grammar Nazi wanted to come out and play.  )

Spoiler

 

[jozina]

Quote

Sometimes the subject of vacations can be a sensitive spot. Asking about the places you stay on vacation can be seen as fishing for information about where you can afford to stay.
 

 

Why Hephzibah, I did hear that Lydia could only afford to stay in a hotel with two storeys, rather than one of them new fandangled ones with three or four!!

 

Quote

It is also rude to judge anyone as "poor" or "rich." That is also private.  I was visited by one foreigner who declared that I was "poor"!  They were not looking at my life outside of material things and they did not see my fabric stash.

Marvellous point Lydz - I have often realised I misjudged a person's wealth when I saw their fabric stash.  ?

She is properly bonkers.

[Hane]

I was taken aback when I saw her pics and discovered that she’s at least ten years younger than I am! (I’m 65.)  As someone said upthread, she carries on like a doddering octogenarian. (No offense to the octogenarians I know, none of whom are doddering!)

[formergothardite]

If a guest suddenly declared Lady Lydia poor to her face, then Lydia must have been extremely rude and the person decided to make snide remarks back. 

You know what else is rude, @Lydia, inviting people over for tea, taking their picture and saying you are going to draw that picture, and then drawing different clothing on the guest because you say the person isn't dressed modestly enough for you. That is very, very rude. 

I can't wait to see what she wears to this reunion.