Duggar scary camping story

[MrsYoungie]

So J'boob gets the kids into the tent and decides to tell them a "scary" story (as per the TLC blurb). I know we were speculatin about what it could be but did anyone hear it? Lamest. Story. Ever. Basically: Once pop used to come in glass bottles that you could get a deposit back on. One day some bad kids stole a basket of bottles from their house. And they got away and they never saw them again.

What the fuck?

Can we get some suggestions for other Duggar scary stories? Here's one to get started: Once these kids used to go to public school. And they learned stuff. And then they graduated and THEY NEVER SAW THEM AGAIN!!!!

[finleeport]

Once pop used to come in glass bottles that you could get a deposit back on. One day some bad kids stole a basket of bottles from their house. And they got away and they never saw them again

That! was the story? that was suppose to be scary? I could come up with something better than that. Except my scary stories often have bloodshed and insanity in them.

[CanadianHippie]

Once upon a time, Ma Duggar decided to tell the world that her family was always coming up with unique ideas for having fun.

"Like camping in the yard," she told the camera people.

A few days later, hundreds, possibly thousands of people, went on line and said "Dude! My families done that so many times! We've even had birthday parties that were in the tent outside because my birthday is in June. You are not so spechul!"

The End.

[JenniferJuniper]

Yeah, I was scratching my head over that one. Can't find a hidden message in it either, except maybe that crime pays. Well done, Boob.

Could have been my imagination, but I thought a couple of the little kids had "WTF?" expressions on their faces as well. What's going on (or not going on) in that man's head that he would even come up with something as insanely mundane as that?

It did get me thinking about the classic stories these kids are missing. They'll never hear about Alice falling down that rabbit hole or read about Dorothy meeting up with the scarecrow, and they'll certainly never believe in fairies so Tink can live. I can't imagine my childhood without those books, but then again, I did grow up to be a godless heathen.

[pomology]

This reminds me of Ron Swanson's scary campfire story on Parks and Recreation.

"And when she looked in the back of the car she saw that even though it was her own personal property she would be forced to take in FOR A STATE INSPECTION!!"

[GeoBQn]

I like Bender's on Futurama.

Bender: And on the screen was . . . the Windows logo!

Fry: That's not scary.

Bender: It is if you're a computer.

[Lillian]

Yeah, that was a truly crap scary story.

Hmm I just remembered an old episode when they went on a trip out west, and they stopped at that place with all the Cadillac's in the ground (Cadillac ranch?). There was a weird guy there, and when asked one of the older girls (Jana? Jill?) said that he reminded her of Peter Pan.

I really hope that the younger kids know about Peter Pan and other classic stories as well, though I don't know how likely that is. It makes me sad to think that they have never/ will never read the likes of Roald Dahl, etc.

[ChunkyBarbie]

Me thinks somebody needs to stop huffing the aerosol hairspray. Can Jimmy Boy try to make an effort to stop acting so stupid? What a dumb ass.

[Aurora]

Wouldn't the truly Christian ending to that story be "Then we realized those kids needed the bottles more than we did, so we forgave them".

[Visionoyahweh]

JB was HELD AT GUNPOINT at his carlot, right? There's a true scary story that can be used to teach kids about the morality of theft. JB even forgave the guy!

Meh, the 'slit the throat' 10 commandments sign language would work better....right.

[doggie]

I think camping with the duggers would be a nightmare in and of it's self.

[Chrystal-J]

Can we get some suggestions for other Duggar scary stories? Here's one to get started: Once these kids used to go to public school. And they learned stuff. And then they graduated and THEY NEVER SAW THEM AGAIN!!!!

lol...good one. (And probably would be true too.)

[WanderingStar]

Kel Mitchell provided what has probably been the scariest story I've ever heard in the movie Two Heads Are Better Than None. It was so horrifying I couldn't even sleep at night.

"When the bread popped out of the toaster, no one knew what to put on it. Jelly? Margarine? Cinnamon sugar? I suggested butter...

...Crumbs were everywhere!"

BUM BUM BUMMMMMM!!!!

[Lillybee]

I thought that Bood said that the bottle thieves dropped the bottles and then ran off. Not that it makes any difference.

[MrsYoungie]

I thought that Bood said that the bottle thieves dropped the bottles and then ran off. Not that it makes any difference.

Maybe - the story was like a 7 year old's home made newspaper story. And there was no structure or point to it.

Also true that JB was robbed at gun point, but that would be too scary to tell little kids. What's wrong with some standard scary/funny campfire stories.

"I am the viper - I've come to vipe your vindows!!" JB can even do one of his crappy accents.

[Kitty]

"In the future, there will be 500 channels!"

"Sweet!"

"AND NOTHING TO WATCH!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

[bananacat]

Don't they tell scarier stories during home church?

A girl wears a skirt that shows her knees and then kisses the boy that she is courting. The courtship ends and they're both so heartbroken and impure that neither of them ever gets married.

A local gas station gets a license to sell beer. A good fundie boy is so tempted and corrupted that he can't resist buying and drinking a beer. He ends up driving drunk and crashing, killing himself and an innocent family.

A married couple uses birth control. God gets angry and takes revenge and all sorts of bad things happen to them.

[Patsy]

I love the way this thread is derailing.

Do we all know about creepy pasta? Copy pasta is when people copy and paste the same things rather than coming up with their own content; creepy pasta is when (usually short) scary stories get shared around on forums. I think 'copy pasta' is an old term from 4chan or some other damp recess of the internet, but creepy pasta is now just a term for shpooooky stories, though particularly ones that have become popular since the internet did.

http://www.creepypasta.com/

http://www.angelfire.com/trek/caver/

http://www.dionaea-house.com/

Unfortunately I never kept a link for another website I am thinking of; it was all written by one person and most of the scary stories centred around a small American town, with a forest nearby that was haunted. Ring any bells?

^Note that a lot of these stories (the ones that don't SUCK) are ACTUALLY SCARY. (I just typed 'scarfy'. Hmm.) You have been warned.^

Some examples that have only been able to flourish because of the internet, or that depend on understanding the way it is used:

http://www.creepypasta.com/candle-cove/ - there's a video for this, and a sequel. My brother watched the video after I sent the story to him and told me not to, so... it's creepier than the story itself, I'm guessing?

http://www.creepypasta.com/wake-up/ - somewhat distressing, potentially triggering (also depends on the format and can't be told over a campfire by virtue of its own creepy centre)

slender man - all over the place, just google it. Marble Hornets is a youtube series that started with creepy slender man stuff and has now moved on to at least one other 'series' and a tonnnn of fan theories and discussions about the mythology behind it

and my personal favourite, which has nothing to do with the internet but which I am including here under a spoiler tag because it scared the poop out of me:

A man went to a hotel and walked up to the front desk to check in. The woman at the desk gave him his key and told him that on the way to his room, there was a door with no number that was locked and no one was allowed in there. Especially no one should look inside the room, under any circumstances. So he followed the instructions of the woman at the front desk, going straight to his room, and going to bed.

The next night his curiosity would not leave him alone about the room with no number on the door. He walked down the hall to the door and tried the handle. Sure enough it was locked. He bent down and looked through the wide keyhole. Cold air passed through it, chilling his eye. What he saw was a hotel bedroom, like his, and in the corner was a woman whose skin was completely white. She was leaning her head against the wall, facing away from the door. He stared in confusion for a while. He almost knocked on the door, out of curiosity, but decided not to.

This disinclination saved his life. He crept away from the door and walked back to his room. The next day, he returned to the door and looked through the wide keyhole. This time, all he saw was redness. He couldn’t make anything out besides a distinct red color, unmoving. Perhaps the inhabitants of the room knew he was spying the night before, and had blocked the keyhole with something red.

At this point he decided to consult the woman at the front desk for more information. She sighed and said, “Did you look through the keyhole?†The man told her that he had and she said, “Well, I might as well tell you the story. A long time ago, a man murdered his wife in that room, and her ghost haunts it. But these people were not ordinary. They were white all over, except for their eyes, which were red.â€

There's also intentionally bad creepy pasta, such as my personal favourite, "The Day with all the Blood"

THIS IS THE STORY OF A DAY WHERE THERE WAS ALL THIS BLOOD. A MAN WAS WALKING AROUND AND BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF HIM EVERYWHERE. THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD THAT IT FILLED UP AN ELEVATOR. HE WENT TO THE STORE AND THERE WAS JUST BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE! PEOPLE WERE SLIPPING IN IT AND THEY WERE ALL GROSSED OUT. HE TRIED TO GO SWIMMING AND ALL OF THE SHARKS WENT NUTS AND BITTENED EVERYBODY. HE GOT CHASED BY ALL THE VAMPIRES EVER. ONE TIME THE BLOOD GOT A KID AND A DOG. AT THE END OF THE DAY EVERYONE DECIDED THEY WOULD SEND HIM TO SPACE SO THAT HE WOULD STOP GETTING BLOOD EVERY WHERE. THE SCARIEST PART IS THAT THE MAN WAS YOU!!! (OR HE WAS A LADY IF YOU ARE A LADY) AND YOU FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENED

and age-old favourite 'Who was Phone'.

ANYWAY. My personal favourites are the Russian scary stories, which I guess are slightly racist and don't give enough respect to the suffering under communism, but they're funny and that... makes it okay? A whole bunch here: http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/Creepyp ... sia_spoofs (yeah, encyclopedia dramatica is one of those damp recesses, I would not advise browsing!)

If you read a few in a row, familiar with the source material, and each has the punchline 'Such is life in Moscow', it can be quite funny. If you don't know enough creepypasta and old urban legends you probably won't get the joke

[Guest Anonymous]

Once upon a time there was a couple who believed that you could have as many children as you wanted and God would provide. This failed miserably and they had to SELL their family to the public.

The end.

[Patsy]

Oh, and, quick note: If you're particularly sensitive to being creeped out at the moment, I am personally banning you from following any of the genuinely creepy links. Yes, that's right, I, a stranger on the internet, went there - you're banned. Go and read that book you haven't finished instead. ... unless it's 'The Terror' or something by Stephen King, in which case, DO NOT.

[Patsy]

Once upon a time there was a couple who believed that you could have as many children as you wanted and God would provide. This failed miserably and they had to SELL their family to the public.

The end.

All right, never mind. Thread's over, and mamamcd won.

[CynicMom]

This is the funniest scariest story: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/02/scariest-story.html

[lilwriter85]

Boob's story is really lame. I doubt anyone in that family reads or watches anything involving the horror genre.

[Deleted03]

I think the Bible is full of scary stories...

[luckylassie]

Once upon a time there lived a not too bright spoiled brat named Michelle Ruark. One night, Princess Michelle stumbled upon a large and scary concept called death...she became so freaked out that she wanted to become a "Christian". Then, Princess met the biggest goober in the free world and pumped baby after baby until they could no longer support them through normal means. One day, they got their own reality show. The show was so non "encouraging" that a site called freejinger was created. The site grew even larger than Michelle's vagina and the Duggars became the laughing stock of the world. Amen.