Jana 7: Home Sweet TTH

[justodd]

40 minutes ago, NakedKnees said:

Honestly I'm glad Jana doesn't have the Paines as in-laws. I always just hope she's happy, whatever it is going on with her.

Same. It’s bad enough she has to make nice with the sexual predator known as her older brother. She doesn’t need to marry into a family that jumped at the chance to marry off their oldest daughter to an even more violent sex offender because Jebus. 

[QuiverDance]

The Paines seem cah-Ray-zay. I mean, happy for Erin and all, but Tabitha’s fate is telling. 

Was it Michaela with whom Jana was so close? It would be super sad if Jana had a JTTH crush on Chad and he got heart eyes for her bestie fundie Barbie Erin and broke her heart. Honestly I could absolutely  see Erin pulling a Jessa style move and swiping Chad up like that jewelry box. There is something about that woman and her constant ‘Gramming about Chad that makes me feel like she’s rubbing someone’s nose in it. Maybe not an old flame’s nose per se ... maybe just everyone in general’s noses, but there is something so humble braggarty about Erin that makes me dislike her. Jana is quiet, which makes her more palatable though she probably has the same ugly beliefs. 

[tabitha2]

I am prepared to be shitted on for this but let’s be real:Jana has never shown much appreciable personality on the show. If she is that low key and flat in real life no wonder a man might go for an Erin or Jessa. 

[clueliss]

Dating back to my days in the Duggar Forums at TWOP - I thought the rumor at one point was Jana and Zach Bates.  I may be glad that didn't happen.  And let's not forget the rumor about Jana and Tebow (ewwwww)

[justodd]

2 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

I am prepared to be shitted on for this but let’s be real:Jana has never shown much appreciable personality on the show. If she is that low key and flat in real life no wonder a man might go for an Erin or Jessa. 

I’d never really thought about it beforenow, but I agree. Jana expresses very little, and is mostly shown picking up the slack for everyone around her, so she’s more or less a blank slate. Most of the other sisters have had people rooting for them before they married, only to quickly fall out of favor once they were free to fully articulate how awful their beliefs are. Because Jana has been of marriageable age longer than the others, that hope of her being a decent person has had longer to grow (and possibly been added to because of the many disappointments with her sisters), and because the only real character we’ve seen of her is “the one who actually does stuff,” it’s easy to attach other positive traits by proxy. She’s a pretty girl, who’s also basically a blank canvas people can project whatever they like onto. Basically, she’s the Bella Swan of fundies. 

[tabitha2]

Jinger was the first favorite( in case you could not tell ;)) She was a Secret rebel who was going to run away the moment she turned 18 and possible take her Little sisters with her and go to college and write a damning  tell all book that would explode the Duggar Image and then and then Etc.  That  dream eventually petered out.  Then Jessa was just waiting to do the same and would marry a guy who would take her away. Yep, that was the “plan” For sure.  And Joyanna was a huge  Tomboy  who would run away and... play soccer?  

Ain’t nobody ever routed for Jill. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

4 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

I am prepared to be shitted on for this but let’s be real:Jana has never shown much appreciable personality on the show. If she is that low key and flat in real life no wonder a man might go for an Erin or Jessa. 

I agree that she hasn’t shown much personality, but I don’t think that’s why she hasn’t married.  Her name and good looks alone would make her very attractive to a lot of men.

[tabitha2]

Possibly however there  Lots of semi famous very beautiful showier Fundy girls with families eager to get them married off. If a guy wants a brood to patriarch over he will want a younger girl anyway.

 

[Carm_88]

Now this probably me projecting but Jana just seems quiet and maybe a bit shy to me. She's comfortable with what she knows and it will take a big thing to shake her out of her comfort zone.

[Georgiana]

I’m sorry, but I really hate the narrative that blames Erin for stealing Chad. Erin is a very beautiful young woman, but a woman is no more at fault for being born with beauty than she is for being born without it, and she doesn’t deserve judgement for it. Erin has an interest in cosmetics and hairstyling, yes. But those are legitimate interests, and I think you’ll find many who share those interests see them as a form of self-expression...especially if they are women who come from cultures where approved methods of self-expression in dress are limited. 

Moreover, a woman who assertively pursues something she wants does not deserve vilification. The echoes of patriarchy in that are strong. A woman should not be expected to demure just because someone else wants the same man. Absent any sort of understanding between the man and the other woman, she should feel empowered to make her case for why he should choose her. She ought to feel empowered to advocate for her own worth: in love, in her role in the family, in her work, etc. 

And, of course, that’s not what happened. Chad pursued Erin. She DEFINITELY worked to make sure he noticed her, but ultimately the choice was entirely Chad’s. And he chose Erin. He’s allowed to have his own preferences. 

But Jana shouldn’t be seen to have had any sort of “dibs” over Chad (or anyone) simply because she met him first. If she failed to express her interest, make herself seen, etc. that’s on her, and no other woman is required to compensate for that for her. If Chad wasn’t interested, that’s fair too. If he was interested but became more interested in Erin, that’s how human emotions work.  There’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes it happens that you don’t return a person’s interest in you. 

No one is entitled to someone else just because they want them. If Jana, like many fundie maids, chooses to pine from afar for a man to notice her...that’s a hell of a choice. But it doesn’t give her any sort of claim over that person.  And the pined-for person has every right to choose one person over another. If Erin advocated for herself better than Jana and that turned the tables in her favor, then well done Erin. 

And, you know, some people (even fundies, I think) find agency and appropriate assertiveness attractive. Chad might have found a woman as passive and shy as Jana annoying or boring. He might have been looking for someone a bit more forward, like Erin. I won’t go out with a person who doesn’t show a bit of assertiveness because I like confident and assertive partners. That’s a valid preference, and it would be valid for Chad to pass Jana over if he wanted that in a partner and she doesn’t have it. 

There are two primary causes for Jana still living at home: JB and Michelle Duggar. There is now a secondary cause, and that is Jana herself, who must bear some of the responsibility for her personal choices to isolate herself at home rather than seeking out those options that are available for unmarried fundie daughters as volunteers or caregivers in places where they may meet eligible mates. No one else can be blamed for Jana’s condition, because no one else had an obligation to save her from it.

And I would argue that her personal choices indicate she’s at least reasonably content with her life and may not want to escape from it. I didn’t intend to be unmarried at my age either, but that doesn’t mean I’m unhappy in my life as it is. I’m very happy in a way I’m not sure I understood was possible when I was younger because I was ONLY presented with young marriage as the path to a happy life. But since that didn’t work out, I came to find that there are many happy paths...and being a single, involved aunt is DEFINITELY one of them! 

[SapphireSlytherin]

15 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

No one is entitled to someone else just because they want them.

This.  A million fucking times THIS.

In many instances...

[AussieKrissy]

On 10/11/2018 at 12:28 AM, Georgiana said:

 

Quote

No one is entitled to someone else just because they want them. If Jana, like many fundie maids, chooses to pine from afar for a man to notice her...that’s a hell of a choice. But it doesn’t give her any sort of claim over that person.  And the pined-for person has every right to choose one person over another. If Erin advocated for herself better than Jana and that turned the tables in her favor, then well done Erin. 

 

Same, if Brandon had of chosen someone other than Michael. Who has been quoted as saying along the lines that she wanted no one but him. She gave me the impression (to me) that she basically pined for him. I would not have felt sorry for Michael if she then had of decided to stay single (happily or unhappily) for the rest of her life if he had of chosen someone else, because it was her choice to make.

[Coconut Flan]

Not to mention that I have never seen any proof that Jana had any interest in Chad Paine.  All I've ever seen was speculation based on her comment of wanting someone who works with his hands and that could have come from any number of different situations or reasons.  

[Georgiana]

28 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Not to mention that I have never seen any proof that Jana had any interest in Chad Paine.  All I've ever seen was speculation based on her comment of wanting someone who works with his hands and that could have come from any number of different situations or reasons.  

And didn’t she specifically say she wanted someone with “dirt under their fingernails” or something? Jana clearly enjoys gardening...so is it so far fetched that she might just have meant that it was important to her that she finds someone who also sees the value of working the land? I always thought she was just indicating that she probably wanted to live more rurally, a totally reasonable goal considering that fundies tend to have a high rural concentration. She’d prefer someone like Chad to someone like Jeremy, but that doesn’t mean she wanted Chad himself. 

But in any case, you can’t steal a person because you can’t own or call dibs on a person because people are not things. That’s just a narrative people use, usually to either blame women for the choices of a man OR dismiss a woman’s agency in choosing her partner. 

[anjulibai]

9 hours ago, clueliss said:

Dating back to my days in the Duggar Forums at TWOP - I thought the rumor at one point was Jana and Zach Bates.  I may be glad that didn't happen.  And let's not forget the rumor about Jana and Tebow (ewwwww)

Yup, all the speculation was about Jana and Zach. The show even dropped hints about it, though I suspect that was just them creating a story and there was never any real interest from either of them in the other. 

[SilverBeach]

1 hour ago, Georgiana said:

No one is entitled to someone else just because they want them.

Wise words right there. Think about how many relationship issues could be avoided if more people had this attitude.

[LilMissMetaphor]

13 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

I am prepared to be shitted on for this 

Shat?

[QuiverDance]

I'll take the slap back for the speculation, @Georgiana,  There is just something below the surface of Erin and Chad that I find disconcerting.  I can't put my finger on it, and this thread led me down a path.  It obviously wasn't charitable and it certainly wasn't feminist, but um... none of this is. I would obviously prefer that all of the fundy women had some education and agency and didn't define themselves by beauty and fecundity, but if ifs were skiffs we'd all go rowing, etc. 

[MamaJunebug]

Here’s what I remember: the first time the oldest daughters were allowed in the birthing (L&D) room with Meechelle, one girl emerged looking clearly shaken. Of course MOTY was grinning & oblivious to everything but the cameras, but I clearly recall thinking, “Well, THAT daughter just found out the home truths about how babies get here!”

I figure, that was Jana, and she was dubiously impressed enough by the spectacle to decide that she was in NO hurry to start popping ‘em out. So there’s that disincentive to want to run not walk to the altar — er, stage....

Next: Jana’s quiet demeanor during the group TH’s never struck me as shyness, but as shrewd common sense. Two truisms occur to me: “if you can keep your head when everyone around you is losing their minds, you’re a grownup” and “better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”

I think Jana, from pretty early on, has realized how stupidly her parents (and to an extent her siblings) come across, and she’s content to let the others take the spotlight. 

There’s also the jewelry box giveaway, wherein she must have realized that she was on her own and that she couldn’t expect her parents to help her.  She thus began figuring out what she could have that smug Jessa and slimy Jill wouldn’t want (gardening is not for lazy Jill nor appearance-vain Jessa) and so she pursues that. She also knows that anyone has to bring their A-game to compete with Jill & Jessa for air time and she chooses to spend her energy elsewhere.

Oh, also: her fashion choices. Although I don’t like them and I especially don’t like them on her, she seems to love shoes that have a boot cut — little booties that  cover the ankle.  I see them enough on Real Housewives and other decidedly non-modest ladies to know that they’re considered sexy and trendy.  I therefore want to believe that she has and follows her own ideas about what to wear, within the stupid skirts-only rule at TTTH, and is dissatisfied with the oxfords or flip-flops that seem to be the choices for Duggar females over 12. 

[KeshetParparNesicha]

2 hours ago, QuiverDance said:

 if ifs were skiffs we'd all go rowing

This is my new favorite expression.

[adidas]

I’ve never been a big Jana and JD watcher so I could be wrong - but from memory it wasn’t that long ago that I was reading JD and Jana would be single forever and then probably made some kind of solidarity pact to never get married ... then whoomp. Surprise! Here’s Abbie. Maybe Jana will have something similar happen to her.

[AreYouThereGothard?]

Forget who she may have wanted or not,  she done hit the jackpot as far as loving companions:

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/jana-duggar-dog-167095

[PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea]

15 hours ago, Georgiana said:

No one is entitled to someone else just because they want them. If Jana, like many fundie maids, chooses to pine from afar for a man to notice her...that’s a hell of a choice.

Let's all remember there's no evidence that Jana was pining after anyone, let alone Chad Paine (unless I missed something big? But I don't think so). Of course, you're right in principle, I just want to reiterate what's imagination (all reasons why Jana could be single and what she thinks about it) and fact (Jana is single and hasn't said much about why).

[Glasgowghirl]

I do think Jana will be next to court, Jana did not show much of her personality because she was mostly raising her siblings and has never really been able to express herself much plus the fact she does not seem to want to be on TV as much as the others.

I think now that Josie is almost 9, she may feel the time is right to court. Her younger sisters have not had to do as much as the oldest four girls and to lesser extent Joy. I think either intentionally or subconsciously Jana decided to wait until the younger kids were older before even considering to court. Jana also has the advantage of being able to see the choices her sister's have made in husbands and the outcome of those marriages. Jana don't settle for a man like Derick.

[Carm_88]

Jana doesn't strike me as pining for anyone, if anything she seems happy with her life. That's not to say that I wouldn't want her to turn her back on her parents' views and never look back; but in the grand scheme of SAHD's, Jana has it pretty good. Compared to where she was a few years ago, most of the kids are independent, the older ones are moving out, there's someone else in control of home schooling. The Lost Girls will all soon be in the double digits age wise, Jana has less work to do now; so it seems like she is doing what she wants. She has a dog, a garden (which is a really beautiful space), she had nieces and nephews that she can see when she likes.

Yes, in Fundieland it's weird that she hasn't married. If she's happy being single, I'm happy for her!