Dillards 66: Appropriate Spaces for Inappropriate People

[Sky with diamonds]

I come from a town of about 200 people, then moved to a town of 2000 people, where everyone knows everyone. The only thing I was warned about was not to go to the woods, or near the ocean in my younger years. 

Here it's quite different...I wouldn't let my Neice and nephew ( ages 8 and 7 ) walk to the corner store by themselves 10 minutes away from my old apartment. I have had scares myself while living in this city and this year I'm trying to encourage my niece and nephew to be safe always.  It's a different world than when I was growing up. 

[Greendoor]

A fenced back yard is good for a bit for a 3 year old plus.  My son would be out in the summer, screendoor closed.  I figured he'd yell if he needed me.  As he got older the glass door was shut, but he could open it.

We live on a fairly busy road.  When he was 6 I let him go with next door's 9 year to the corner store four blocks, one 4-way stop and one traffic light away.  It was the longest 3 years of my life til he got back.  That 20 minute trip to the store gave him an idea of independence, and me faith in the world.

I worked and he went to daycare until he was11 - he really wanted to walk.  So I said ok - call me to say you are leaving the house.  Call me when you get home.  I knew school would phone if he didn't show up.

If you can trust your child and trust the world when they are young, it isn't so hard to let go as they get older.

 

edited to add:  The "phone to say he left" ended fairly quickly, but one of us would call the other about 4pm re dinner (what he could do to start it, should we go out, what he wanted me to get at the store).

[Rachel333]

Ugh, Derick has been retweeting people gloating about Kavanaugh's confirmation. 

[MarblesMom]

I remember going on a city bus from the Colorado Springs suburbs to "downtown" at age 8 with my sister, 10, alone.  Shopping, movies, and making it back home safely.  It was the 70's.

Moved to Puerto Rico right after.  I would hail down a publico (multi user taxi) and head into town.  I was 9. 

Helicopter parents gotta helicopter, I guess.  

[FloraKitty35]

2 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

Ugh, Derick has been retweeting people gloating about Kavanaugh's confirmation. 

I'd be more shocked if he wasn't.  

[SweetJuly]

My friends and I would walk (and later cycle) to school from first grade on. It was both in a quieter area of a large German city and an affluent area of a large urban area in Israel in the 90s. We were usually not alone, but at least in pairs. 

Once, it must have been in second grade, a guy stopped us on our way to school. He told us to come with him and he'd show us his pets (rabbits, ponies, etc) I've always been a bit reserved and shy around strangers, and I felt weirded out by the guy. We politely declined and continued on our way. It was only in my 20s that I realised what a dangerous situation this may have been. At the time I didn't even feel it was worthy mentioning to my parents. 

I also remember taking the train for an hour by myself when I was 11 or 12. It was in a rather empty waggon (I liked to read in peace) and when I looked up I saw a guy opposite me wearing shorts with his dick hanging out over them. I remember feeling a bit uncomfortable and slightly embarrassed for the guy - I thought he had no idea that his penis was on show, and that he'd be mortified if he knew. I stood up and went to another waggon. Again I only realised as an adult what had actually happened. 

We played outside a lot, whether at home or on holidays, and I am pretty sure we often ventured further or deeper into something than our parents knew or intended. Knowing what children are capable of, I might be a bit worried about my daughter when the time comes. However, I'll also try to remember that I've always had a good intuition that allowed me to navigate dangerous situations well, and will try to raise my daughter so that she develops the same. 

[MaJessatic]

I grew up in an area of SEAsia that's really quite safe. We lived on big estates, rather than on blocks or in streets, and as school started at 7 and kicked out at 12.30, we had all afternoon to play out. We had three rules- don't go up "The End" (the far end of the estate was...not friendly), don't leave the estate, and be home for dinner. Once the eldest amongst our estate were in their preteens, we were allowed to leave the estate in groups and go and play on the mudflats at the end of the road. 
I loved it. BroJessatic and I would squeak into the wet laundry to be hosed off just in time to sit down to dinner in our pants. 

 

I'd love to give Small that level of freedom, but unfortunately she's an only, and while I'd anticipated letting her out to play in the playground over the road by this age (7), it's right near the river, and Small is absolutely fascinated by water, to the point where if you take your eye off her she's down at the edge, whipping her shoes off. She's in swimming lessons and does well, but the river, while shallow, is fast flowing in winter and grotty in summer. I feel bloody paranoid, because the mudflats of my youth were waterlogged and full of sucking clay and probably terrible diseases, but we were in groups, not one lone, water-obsessed seven year old <sigh>

[artdecades]

3 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

Ugh, Derick has been retweeting people gloating about Kavanaugh's confirmation. 

Didn't he claim that rapists should get the death penalty (according to his classmate on reddit)? But Bart is cool

[TuringMachine]

6 hours ago, artdecades said:

Didn't he claim that rapists should get the death penalty (according to his classmate on reddit)? But Bart is cool

Well you see, the death penalty is for "real" rapists. Bart only has an accusation (or three) made by a woman so obviously no punishment for him. Plus he's anti choice, and that's all that matters anyway

[SassyPants]

4 hours ago, TuringMachine said:

Well you see, the death penalty is for "real" rapists. Bart only has an accusation (or three) made by a woman so obviously no punishment for him. Plus he's anti choice, and that's all that matters anyway

The DP is likely only for liberal rapists in DD's mind.

[feministxtian]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

The DP is likely only for liberal rapists in DD's mind.

No it's for brown or black rapists according to him. Racist fuck just like the rest of them.

[acheronbeach]

13 hours ago, artdecades said:

Didn't he claim that rapists should get the death penalty (according to his classmate on reddit)? But Bart is cool

Oh, and child molesting brother in laws are cool too.  Josh gave him money during his grift-a-thon, obviously he's a good guy.  

On a serious note, does he not realize what a garbage husband/man he looks to publicly laud men who treat (or have serious allegations of treating) women as sex objects?  Especially when his wife was sexually abused?  How is he doing as the Bible commands, to "clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience"?

[Jinder Roles]

D-wreck clearly thinks rape is when scary men jump out the bushes and drag chaste genteel-women away. 

Like in most other things, he lacks understanding, sensitivity and nuance. 

[socalrules]

Honestly, I think there are a lot of men, particularly those in the fundamentalist/evangelical community, who think women are just overreacting. That sexual assault either is not that big a deal or is something you can get over quickly like when someone bumps into you at the grocery store. 

Usually when people find out someone they love has suffered from some injury/assault/illness/etc they become more sensitive to it and those similarly afflicted. Here, Derick should be more affected by it in light of what happened to his wife. Instead, he is all in as usual. Sadly, Jill is likely as well because she doesn’t seem to see it as a big deal as well. Or at least, that is how the family has always spun it. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

This showed up in my FB newsfeed just now. Wasn't sure where to put it, then I remembered that Jill loves to share "recipes" so here ya go:

 

https://www.simplemost.com/tater-tots-casserole-recipes/

 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

Hi Derick you POS this is for you

Spoiler

 

[BernRul]

I grew up in a big city in the 90s, and my parents kicked us out of the house when the weather was nice. There were always kids playing on the street. We knew we had to stay on the block, but otherwise there were no limits. We hopped fences into neighbor's yards, played block wide hide and seek and explored. I was probably 8 when I was allowed to do this. Adults would sometimes sit on the porch or peek out of the windows every now and then to check on us, but we never felt in danger because we had a trust system on the street. Every adult looked out for every kid on the block, and there was always a large group of kids to watch out for each other. And at the time, my city had some of the highest murder rates in the entire country. 

When I visit my parents, I see the same thing. Kids are still playing outside. I see more parents monitoring them from the porches, but still, it's not that different from when I was a kid. My current neighborhood (same city, different neighborhood) is the same. I always see the neighborhood kids outside unsupervised, riding their bikes or playing football. I hardly ever see a parent hovering over them. It's the same unspoken honor system: we look out for all the kids on the block like they were our own. 

Honestly, that's one reason why I'd rather raise my kids in the city than the suburbs. City parents, at least in the neighborhoods I've seen, are more laid back and less likely to call CPS over a ten year old walking to a corner store. The suburbs are more spaced out, with less sidewalk, so it makes it harder to let the kids play in the street, and I can see how it limits playtime outdoors. 

Ironically, it seems like the safer we are the more paranoid we get. Cities are supposed to be dangerous, but I see more city kids playing outside. We live in the safest time period for children in the history of human civilization, and yet we don't let them have any freedom. It's really sad because research indicates that children are the most well adjusted when they have unstructured play time and can freely explore their environment. 

[HarleyQuinn]

Tools like dWRECK think the only type of rape is being attacked in a dark alley. They never consider marital rape, rape at parties, or "mild inappropriate touching" to be in that category because they always pit that on the woman.

He is truly a piece of shit, and I hope someone wipes the floor with him in law school. 

[DarkAnts]

On the next episode of Jill Can’t Cook we have a recipe for spaghetti sauce that includes cream of crap soup.

https://www.dillardfamily.com/2018/10/thalias-chicken-spaghetti-sauce/

 

I am learning to make food from scratch because I have a severe nut allergy. I have not perfected bread yet, but I will get there. I can make spaghetti sauce from scratch with fresh veggies for under $6, that includes Italian sausage. I do add carrots, celery, and a red bell pepper. I add them to increase the vitamin content in the sauce.

[PennySycamore]

@DarkAnts,  that "sauce" recipe looks vile!  2 sticks of butter, one can of cream of mushroom, two cans of cream of chicken and one can of tomato and a jar of Rotel along with some other shit?  It's positively godawful!  There's no excuse for something like that.  

[cascarones]

Reads like King Ranch Chicken Casserole sauce, never seen it served with spaghetti, but each to their own. Jill's gotten a lot better about citing her sources, which is nice.

[DarkAnts]

4 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

@DarkAnts,  that "sauce" recipe looks vile!  2 sticks of butter, one can of cream of mushroom, two cans of cream of chicken and one can of tomato and a jar of Rotel along with some other shit?  It's positively godawful!  There's no excuse for something like that.  

I am pretty sure the amount of sodium in one serving exceeds the recommended daily limit for an adult.

[HarryPotterFan]

1 minute ago, DarkAnts said:

I am pretty sure the amount of sodium in one serving exceeds the recommended daily limit for an adult.

The Duggar and Dillard clan should really get their BP checked

[AtlanticTug]

Looks and sounds disgusting. 

I want to take them to the supermarket and then somehow zap them with a bit of electricity anytime they approach any canned goods. 

[VineHeart137]

The sodium content in that recipe must be insane. Also, two sticks of butter to saute a bell pepper, an onion, and some garlic?? Surely that's a mistake?