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Dillards 66: Appropriate Spaces for Inappropriate People


Georgiana

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She's probably realized she gets the most traffic from the grossest recipes and posts accordingly.  She's always been about quantity over quality.  Inquisitr or InTouch is going to write an article about this monstrosity and they'll get a lot of hits on the website.  Mission accomplished!  

 

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Surely, even with all the other stuff, NOT really two whole sticks of butter!!!

 

 

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I took screenshots so you don't have to give them clicks.  

First off, let's take a look at this picture, which blesses me greatly.  I am admittedly starving right now.  I haven't eaten all day thanks to hectic urgent work that hasn't allowed for anything other than a few walks to the bathroom.  I am dizzy. I am hangry.

And now thanks to this photo, I never want to eat food again.  I will never say the Dillards are useless ever again.  In fact, they should think about teaming up with Gwen Shamblin.

Spoiler

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This "recipe" (or more correctly, list of ingredients with a sentence or two about how to prepare) says it can feed 6-8 people.  It CAN feed 6-8 people, but it probably shouldn't.  Honestly it should feed 0 people.  You can make much better meals with this list of ingredients.  And you should.  You really should.  Heck, there's so much nonsense in this that you could almost create multiple meals from this single list of ingredients.  If there were more veggies in there, you definitely could! But it's tasty AND great, so there's that.  Also, Jill says you can use it to "feed a crowd", but unless 6-8 is a crowd for you (it sort of is for me, but that's not generally the quantities I'm looking for when I'm looking to "feed a crowd"), you're out of luck because Jill gives you no instruction on how best to multiply this for a crowd.  I think you're just supposed to know, but if I knew that, I wouldn't be searching for crowd-feeding recipes online.

Spoiler

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GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE: if you don't want to use two entire sticks of butter for 6 people*, you can use a completely unspecified amount of olive oil.  Again, if I knew how much olive oil to use, I wouldn't be looking for a recipe...but given the two sticks of butter thing, I think that it's probably best if Jill allows me to determine the necessary amount of olive oil.  

Evidently you're supposed to get your onion, peppers, and garlic pre-something (sliced? diced? bite size?) because there's no information on how to prep those.  Also, I hope you already know how long you are supposed to saute those in the butter because Jill does not specify.  WHEN do I add the remaining ingredients?  Or do I effectively just throw them all in together and let it sit.  

Quibble: angel hair pasta is specified, but the dish is called spaghetti and shown with spaghetti noodles.

Spoiler

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*Admittedly, I frequently use more butter for my one person, so it's a bit rich me getting on Jill for this.

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12 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

Again, if I knew how much olive oil to use, I wouldn't be looking for a recipe

What? Your olive oil doesn't come in sticks? Where are you from, anyway? 

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10 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

What? Your olive oil doesn't come in sticks? Where are you from, anyway? 

But...but....I THOUGHT I was buying the most Godly and correct olive oil!  It SAID "extra virgin"!  Heck, I'm only allowed to court my olive oil because it defrauds my body if I give olive oil a full-on front hug!  I can only side-hug it in moderation!

Perhaps if I MARRY my olive oil...

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A stick of butter = 1/2 cup in most places..that being said in what world would you ever need ONE CUP of olive oil to saute anything?

 

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1 minute ago, HarleyQuinn said:

A stick of butter = 1/2 cup in most places..that being said in what world would you ever need ONE CUP of olive oil to saute anything?

 

You know, I wasn't actually aghast at the two sticks of butter.  I thought it was excessive, unhealthy, and I thought that likely cutting down on the butter would improve the dish, but taste is taste.

Yet imagining this dish with an entire cup of olive oil makes me wonder what onions and bell peppers ever did to fundies to deserve this.  You'd almost think they teamed up with Satan like canned green beans.

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7 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

A stick of butter = 1/2 cup in most places..that being said in what world would you ever need ONE CUP of olive oil to saute anything?

 

A world I don’t want to live in

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I just added up the calories for her "recipe" to save you the time. No, I didn't calculate sodium.

This MESS is 5,980 (using an online calorie calculator). Meaning, one serving - if you're serving 6 people - is 1,000 calories! I didn't count the bouillon, green pepper, onion, diced tomatoes, or garlic. FWIW.

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First, thanks to everyone who talked about what a 'stick' of butter was, because if anything's a 'stick' of butter here it's your standard 250g rectangular pat and I was having images of melting half a kilo of butter to fry an onion. A cup of butter is still excessive, but it's not quite as bad as I thought. 

Second, how the fuck has she not just hit taste.com and found all the billions of delicious pasta recipes on there? With two little kids she needs a recipe to feed four, then she's got dinner for them all and lunch for someone tomorrow. Baffling. I should stop expecting good sense from fundies, I know. It's the optimist in me, it keeps getting out. 

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1 minute ago, MaJessatic said:

A cup of butter is still excessive, but it's not quite as bad as I thought. 

It's horrible and such a waste!

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12 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

It's horrible and such a waste!

Oh no, absolutely it's a waste of delicious butter! I'd have that nasty, greasy feeling for hours if I used that much butter in a recipe ?Just not a small saucepan's worth. Small mercies, I suppose I was thinking?

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She's just messing with us now, isn't she? She's having us on? I mean

Spoiler

Sauce:

1 green bell pepper

1 onion

2 T. garlic

2 sticks butter*

1 can cream of mushroom

2 cans cream. of chicken

1 can tomato soup

1 can diced tomatoes

2 cans mild rotel

2 tsp. chicken boullion

4 cups chicken (diced, cooked), or 3 cans of chicken

salt & pepper to taste

That recipe has got to be just made up for laughs. No way anyone ever actually made that, right?

 

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1 hour ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

I just added up the calories for her "recipe" to save you the time. No, I didn't calculate sodium.

This MESS is 5,980 (using an online calorie calculator). Meaning, one serving - if you're serving 6 people - is 1,000 calories! I didn't count the bouillon, green pepper, onion, diced tomatoes, or garlic. FWIW.

Ok I’ll give calculating sodium a go:

I used Campbell’s

Can of Cream of Mushroom soup: Sodium 870mg, 38% of daily intake. 2.5 servings per can. 2,175 mg per can

Can of Cream Chicken soup: Sodium 870mg, 38% of daily intake. 2.5 servings per can. 2,175 mg per can. x2 = 4,350

Can of Tomato soup: Sodium 480mg, 20% of daily intake. 2.5 servings per can. 1,200 mg per can

Can of Mild Rotel: Sodium 380 mg, 16% of daily intake. 2.5 servings per can. 950 mg per can. x2 = 1,900 mg

Chicken bullion (knorr’s brand): Sodium 870mg, 38% of daily intake per serving, servings size 1 tsp. x2 = 4,350 mg

Dear Rufus I’m afraid to add this up.

THAT’S A WHOPPING 13,975 MG OF SODIUM IN THIS DISH!!!! Not including pasta, veggies, and butter. That’s 2,329 MG of sodium per serving, if this serves six. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Daily sodium intake for an adult is 2,300 mg. This dish is over 101% of your daily sodium intake. 

I am unbelievably disgusted and horrified. And I regret calculating this because holy hell.

That entire family really really really needs to get their BP and cholesterol checked

I can feel my BP increasing just by calculating this. Holy hell. 

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God please someone make this and report back. Im baffled but everything in it is presumably edible and it could be done. I so badly want to see what it looks like.

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@HarryPotterFan, you ain't kidding that they need to get their BP and cholesterol checked and not a quick cholesterol check like you get when you donate blood, but a fasting lipid panel like I had done last week -one that will check your HDL, LDL and triglycerides.  Having a stroke even a mild one like I had is no damn fun!

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4 minutes ago, MsSaylor said:

God please someone make this and report back. Im baffled but everything in it is presumably edible and it could be done. I so badly want to see what it looks like.

Alternatively, make this and Jill’s other dishes for your enemies to slowly kill them via heart disease

3 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

@HarryPotterFan, you ain't kidding that they need to get their BP and cholesterol checked and not a quick cholesterol check like you get when you donate blood, but a fasting lipid panel like I had done last week -one that will check your HDL, LDL and triglycerides.  Having a stroke even a mild one like I had is no damn fun!

I want to warn the kids’ pediatrician. They have one, right? I knew the sodium count would be bad but I wasn’t expecting it to be this bad. I hope you recovered well from your stroke!

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3 minutes ago, MsSaylor said:

God please someone make this and report back. Im baffled but everything in it is presumably edible and it could be done. I so badly want to see what it looks like.

I'm SO tempted! I've yet to find something DaJessatic won't eat...
I don't know what Rotel is though, or if it's available here. 

Google's telling me it's a brand of sound system. Thanks, google. Helpful. 
Oh no wait apparently they're spicy tinned tomatoes? Well, we don't have spicy tinned tomatoes, but I could add some chilli flakes, I guess. 

Someone talk me out of this, I'm supposed to be cleaning the house. 

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Yesterday, I walked to the farmer's market. I bought a quart of plum tomatoes (canning quality, so imperfect) and a bulb of garlic. All organic, local, blah blah blah.

Today, I cut the tomatoes in half and cut out the stems. I sliced up a couple of cloves of garlic. I coated a shallow pan with olive oil, and put the tomatoes in the pan and drizzled them with salt, the garlic, and more olive oil. I put the pan in the oven at 275 and went to take a long, glorious bath.

3 hours later, I dumped it all in the food processor with some freshly ground pepper. Voila, home-made roasted tomato sauce. Added it to spaghetti noodles, with a sausage on the side for protein (also from the farmer's market, happy free-range cows, local, organic etc.)

Jill, you're doing it wrong.

 

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Regarding the POA discussion earlier in the thread: I'm in my mid 30s and I gave my parents both medical and legal POA when I turned 18 because I wanted them to be able to make healthcare and financial decisions *if* something happened to me. My mother still has it, and since my father just died last year I now have *her* POA. She had also had her brother's POA for years up until he died last year, since he'd had several medical scares and even when his wife was still alive she was no longer capable of making those decisions.

Having a POA doesn't necessarily mean you make decisions for someone else on a regular basis. If it's being used properly between adults (rather than as a pressure tactic) it just means you have the ability to make decisions in unfortunate circumstances. It's actually a sensible legal safeguard if you aren't married and thus don't have an automatic POA.

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1 minute ago, metheglyn said:

Having a POA doesn't necessarily mean you make decisions for someone else on a regular basis. If it's being used properly between adults (rather than as a pressure tactic) it just means you have the ability to make decisions in unfortunate circumstances. It's actually a sensible legal safeguard if you aren't married and thus don't have an automatic POA.

True, but there are concerns within the disability community of parents gaining POA over their child and forcing procedures on their children. For example, the To Siri, With Love author stated that she wanted POA over her autistic son when he turned 18 so she could make him get a vasectomy. She didn’t think he would be able to handle kids and didn’t want him to accidentally get someone pregnant, as she thought he didn’t know where babies come from. A lot of people were outraged. This was something she considered when he was 13. So she assumed he’d have the same competence as an adult as he did when he was 13. Which is ridiculous, if you look at any 13 year old they’d be a bad parent. And if he doesn’t know where babies come from, well whose fault is that? 

I did read the book, but I kept up with the controversy and read excerpts. She assumed her son didn’t know where babies came from because when his twin brought up the subject he’d blush or something and never stated that he knew. So that could have simply been he found it super embarrassing to talk about and his brother was doing what siblings do - make fun of each other and embarrass them. She also compared making her son her a vasectomy to eugenics (it seemed like a strangle ramble that didn’t go anywhere...)

So it is intended for situations when someone can’t make a decision like they’re unconscious, but it can be abused.

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I still can't get over that recipe.

I mean honestly if you want to have spaghetti with tomato sauce, even just boiling pasta and adding Ragu (with some chicken if you must) is surely better than this monstrosity?

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@Jigsaw3,  I read a recipe for roasted tomato sauce recently and that recipe and your recipe sound so easy and so delicious!

@HarryPotterFan,  I'm 99.9% recovered from my stroke.  My handwriting is not quite as good as it was and I do have a bit of foot drop on occasion, but otherwise I'm fine.

For my handwriting, crossword puzzles help as does coloring.  I've wondered if some good ol' ballet slippers would encourage me to use my foot muscles better.  

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