Gwen Shamblin 3: Predicted 9/11 After CNN

[Destiny]

4 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I think I read the "cult of FJ" thread(s) in Poopistan, and I seem to recall that the lists of demands by potential members of the cult got pretty long and detailed. It sounded more like a wish list for a spa vacation than a cult!

I'm like 80% sure my demand was that I get to bring luna. I'm sure I had other things, but that's the only one I remember. 

[laPapessaGiovanna]

4 hours ago, church_of_dog said:

Oh Dear Dawg please don't make me look at those fangs again.

Don't worry, if FJers keep behaving Bunnicula won't show up!

[Ozlsn]

3 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I think I read the "cult of FJ" thread(s) in Poopistan, and I seem to recall that the lists of demands by potential members of the cult got pretty long and detailed. It sounded more like a wish list for a spa vacation than a cult!

My main recollection is of the Great Hot Beverage Schism, which had the potential to split the cult into several factions and that was before we got on to what should be dunked (or not) in the beverages!

[formergothardite]

11 hours ago, SuperNova said:

If I knew less about RF I would be inclined to think you're exaggerating. But after they brought their crazy right  to our doorstep I'd honestly believe anything at this point. Somehow the picture of the Tri wizard tournament, travelling royalty tent makes this parchment burning seem quite plausible.

ITA. Burning off the names of charter members who have left the fold sounds pretty insane, but after the mindless members showed up and were incapable of answering simple questions I would say this sounds like something Gwen would do. 

Another thing I noticed at their camp out in fancy tents party was that all the food seemed to be very unhealthy. I do not understand the obsession with eating junk food in tiny amounts instead of eating large amounts of healthy food. 

[FundamentallyShocked]

Three comments this morning:

1. Could Erika Shupe have bought into the weigh down materials? It matches her "1 jelly bean", highly limited diet motif.

2. I confess that I licked salt off potato chips yesterday. And the BBQ that the chips were coated with. Then, I sampled the "fake" potato for quality control. Then, I finished off the can of chips to prevent waste. Kept me awake while driving in the rain.

3. Gwen absolutely is controlling her crowd by limiting their food intake. When your body is starving, you do not have the glucose to run your brain.  "Brainless" is a good description. And no one questions Gwen as a result.

[quiversR4hunting]

I was very busy last week. Working hard to reelect 2 awesome school board members, attending 1 daughter's XC meet, attend hot yoga, run 10 miles (gearing up for a 1/2 marathon to raise money for DMD -the disease not the nut burger over in Nog land) and oh yeah, work.

So one day, (Thursday late?) I clicked on Gwen's thread, jumped to the last page because not much happens, it was on page 13 or so and I read that someone was editing cover letters. I thought, oh nothing is going on. On Friday, I jump back on from where I left off on Thursday and read reference to cult members defending Gwen. I had to go all the way back to page 4 (it was like the gigantic slide in chutes & ladders) to get the entire story! It took me all day Friday and part of Saturday to catch up (because you know -life! BTW my daughter was 92nd out of 342 XC runners on Saturday. It was a muddy rainy mess and only missed her PR time by 10 seconds!) HOLY SHIT!!! I missed a fun day or so with those nut jobs!

The huge dissertation (I fast read it, and not every word, that was way too much) was insane. The one thing that stuck out in it was the fact that the writer(s) said that the paperwork took years. As many know on here, I work in child support. What a bunch of BS Gwen has sold her cult members! Fighting over property, money, stock, pensions, etc. can take years but filing the paperwork to get started takes minutes. I can't believe members believe here. As the former RF people on this thread have said, divorce is not uncommon at RF (just like the outside world). These people have to realize that Gwen is lying about how long it takes to file paperwork. In my state, a divorce with minor children cannot go faster than 6 months. Divorce w/o minor children can go faster but the assets RF had I am shocked it went as fast as it did.

And yes, cult of FJ is basically a spa but if I am going to join a cult I had better be taken care of! From what I remember there are chefs (for all us that don't like to cook), there is hot yoga, no yoga, reading, computers, all arts & crafts, running, no running, etc.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

You know, I always believed I was immune to cults.  Too rational. Too aware of love bombs. Too smart to fall for cult speak nonsense.

But I discovered FJ.  and you all wooed me, overcame my defenses.  I fell all in (TM RF).  Lock stock and snark.                    

 

 

 

[RemnantSurvivor]

4 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Another thing I noticed at their camp out in fancy tents party was that all the food seemed to be very unhealthy. I do not understand the obsession with eating junk food in tiny amounts instead of eating large amounts of healthy food. 

One of Gwen’s biggest things is that you don’t have to eat healthy foods to lose weight. As long as you are eating small amounts (I.e. not eating until your stomach is growling, stopping when you are satisfied but not over-full). In the beginning it was just that.. eating when hungry, stopping when full. Over time it became eating when hungry but just enough to take away the growl. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I remember reading on line somewhere a former RFer saying that at one point she was eating 9 bites of food a day.  She used a small saucer as a plate.

 

[Flossie]

Have we finally decided where we are building our compound?  I've been hoping for somewhere with a temperate climate.  

And I believe I requested a ground floor apartment with a patio and a fenced back yard where I could entertain my visitors and perhaps raise a small garden.  Just wondering...

[formergothardite]

17 minutes ago, RemnantSurvivor said:

One of Gwen’s biggest things is that you don’t have to eat healthy foods to lose weight.

Technically that is true, but it is easier to lose weight and keep it off if you can fill up on healthy, low calorie food instead of three bites of a high calorie junk food. It seems like a really miserable way to live. 

 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

2 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Technically that is true, but it is easier to lose weight and keep it off if you can fill up on healthy, low calorie food instead of three bites of a high calorie junk food. It seems like a really miserable way to live. 

Plus, if you only have a little food coming into your body, and that food is low quality and low in nutrients, that can't be healthy. It seems like the less food you eat, the more important it is that the food be nutritious. Her way is backwards. 

[formergothardite]

15 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

Plus, if you only have a little food coming into your body, and that food is low quality and low in nutrients, that can't be healthy. It seems like the less food you eat, the more important it is that the food be nutritious. Her way is backwards. 

Yep. Her ideas on healthy eating are totally screwed up. 

And basically the cult of FJ has a better plan for healthy eating than Gwen. We are the best cult!

[HarryPotterFan]

21 hours ago, Casserole said:

 

thanks for the response! I (shockingly) agree with Gwen in food being the best form of vitamins and minerals, but you would actually have to eat and digest the food to get the benefits lol A lick or nibble ain't gonna do it. 

Yeah, a bit of dumbassery there from Gwen. How does she expect people to get nutrients if they can’t eat or take vitamin supplements?

21 hours ago, Destiny said:

I read this and laughed out loud so hard that they were looking at me like I was a crazy person in the checkout line at the grocery store.

Mwahaha! Success! I mean, haha I’m glad! I mean...what?

I was going for completely ridiculous and Game of Thrones inspired

21 hours ago, laPapessaGiovanna said:

Oh yes we are a cult! @Curious founded it somewhere in Poop threads. Btw fyi we are supposed to address her as Transcendent Fluffy Bunny.

 

Oh yes, my apologies to @Curious, our Transcendent Fluffy Bunny overlord

21 hours ago, Destiny said:

Is it wrong that I am strongly considering taking this and framing it for my office wall?

Do it!! Luna deserves the highest honors!

Plus I’d be super honored to earn such a distinguishment 

19 hours ago, Rowan said:

Shades of the Black family tree tapestry. Yikes. 

Dammit I was going to say that!

[Nikedagain?]

I must agree. BEST. CULT. EVER. 

(thanks, all  <3)

[Georgiana]

FreeJinger:

WINNER:  #1 Best Cult 2018*
WINNER: #1 Best Cult Diet 2018*
WINNER: #1 Best Cult Leaders 2018*
WINNER: #1 Best Cult Hair 2018*
 

 

*Results from informal survey of FJ members.  

[Destiny]

2 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

Do it!! Luna deserves the highest honors!

Plus I’d be super honored to earn such a distinguishment 

I had to adult a ton yesterday, but I'm actually going to sit down in a bit after I finish some final bits of adulting and see if I can get it to look in a way that makes sense and is pretty, and if I manage it, I'm buying a cheap frame from amazon and putting it on my office wall. 

[Spanger]

Ooh, IKEA has very cheap frames too, if you're looking.

Im mildly confused with the Luna-talk, my deduction from context clues is that Luna is Destiny's cat?  I also have a cat named Luna, but we call her Bear for her nickname.  She is good at killing RL bugs.

[church_of_dog]

20 hours ago, Flossie said:

Have we finally decided where we are building our compound?  I've been hoping for somewhere with a temperate climate.  

And I believe I requested a ground floor apartment with a patio and a fenced back yard where I could entertain my visitors and perhaps raise a small garden.  Just wondering...

And I'm sure I mentioned that I require snow.  Rather a lot of it.  And would really like it if it didn't get very hot in summertime. ?️

43 minutes ago, Spanger said:

Ooh, IKEA has very cheap frames too, if you're looking.

Im mildly confused with the Luna-talk, my deduction from context clues is that Luna is Destiny's cat?  I also have a cat named Luna, but we call her Bear for her nickname.  She is good at killing RL bugs.

My avatar shows my Luna.   She's been gone a few years now. 

[Alisamer]

9 minutes ago, church_of_dog said:

And I'm sure I mentioned that I require snow.  Rather a lot of it.  And would really like it if it didn't get very hot in summertime. ?️

My avatar shows my Luna.   She's been gone a few years now. 

Awww, Luna was a cutie.

I'm thinking this may need to be a 2-location compound - for typical snowbirds switching between them for warmer weather, and for reverse snowbirds trying to stay as cold as possible. Perhaps one in each hemisphere? With a yearly festival in Spring and Fall where everyone is at the same place at once.

[church_of_dog]

18 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Awww, Luna was a cutie.

I'm thinking this may need to be a 2-location compound - for typical snowbirds switching between them for warmer weather, and for reverse snowbirds trying to stay as cold as possible. Perhaps one in each hemisphere? With a yearly festival in Spring and Fall where everyone is at the same place at once.

Thanks, Luna was indeed a cutie!  I miss her...

Did I mention I'm also a homebody who is ethically opposed to nonessential travel?  I definitely don't want to switch between two homesites...

#troublemaker #notacontrarianiswear #cantwealljustgetalong?(myway)

[Alisamer]

29 minutes ago, church_of_dog said:

Thanks, Luna was indeed a cutie!  I miss her...

Did I mention I'm also a homebody who is ethically opposed to nonessential travel?  I definitely don't want to switch between two homesites...

#troublemaker #notacontrarianiswear #cantwealljustgetalong?(myway)

Hmmm. Maybe there's an island somewhere mildly tropical with a nice high mountain that keeps snow year-round? Like Kilimanjaro but with beaches at the bottom. We'll build a chairlift or something. 

[Nikedagain?]

Feline/canine headships are one of the best parts of this cult. 

RBG listened to Nikki Haley kiss the ass of Donald Trump (and his offspring)  and promptly had to take to her bed. She is so disgusted right now. 

 

 

[Destiny]

6 hours ago, Spanger said:

Im mildly confused with the Luna-talk, my deduction from context clues is that Luna is Destiny's cat?  I also have a cat named Luna, but we call her Bear for her nickname.  She is good at killing RL bugs.

Luna is my baby. She's spent much of mommy's FJ time "helping" with things, including the end of the blogposts I did about That FUCKING Book, and she helps supervise the mommy from making mistakes when upgrades happen. She didn't help with the last one because daddy had treats, and it was an utter disaster. She's the tech team mascot of sorts. 

Edit: the poster is on my status. It’s not the best ever because my creative talent is practically nonexistent, but I still think it’s funny.

[HarryPotterFan]

23 hours ago, Destiny said:

I had to adult a ton yesterday, but I'm actually going to sit down in a bit after I finish some final bits of adulting and see if I can get it to look in a way that makes sense and is pretty, and if I manage it, I'm buying a cheap frame from amazon and putting it on my office wall. 

You’ll have to show us the final product!! Maybe even have a big ceremony when showing it to Luna (though since she’s a cat she might pretend not to care)

Edit: Never mind!! It’s amazing!