Safe at Home 4: Where the thread names change, but the Arndts stay the same

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I'm sticking to my theory that Rick is an obvious family annihilator waiting to happen and the boys stay to protect everyone. 

And that it takes all of them working and living at home to support the family and pay for Rick's expensive Vine Valley vanity project film. You all know that he has the latest, most costly equipment.  Since it's been going on for years he probably buys newer, fancier, costlier equipment every year or so.

The more boys working, the more money Rick has to waste spend.

 

Edited December 29, 2018 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[nokidsmom]

3 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I'm sticking to my theory that Rick is an obvious family annihilator waiting to happen and the boys stay to protect everyone. 

And that it takes all of them working and living at home to support the family and pay for Rick's expensive Vine Valley vanity project film. You all know that he has the latest, most costly equipment.  Since it's been going on for years he probably buys newer, fancier, costlier equipment every year or so.

The more boys working, the more money Rick has to waste spend.

An interesting theory about Rick.  Sometimes it's the seemingly nice, quiet ones who are the ones to worry about.  Long story but I personally have seen a guy, who by all accounts was a decent, loving father, go completely off the deep end, the only thing that prevented him from harming his family was that police arrived just in time.

I totally agree that Rick, as well as Cathy, are parents who are completely taking financial advantage of their able bodied sons to live what looks to be a pretty comfortable life.  While Cathy has never worked, she does come from a family with money.  What the status of that money is, we don't know.  But Rick is obviously healthy (in body anyway, the mind might be an entirely different matter) and took an early retirement to navel gaze, work on VV and post on the family blog.  That he's living off his kids doesn't seem in any way wrong to him.

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

41 minutes ago, nokidsmom said:

But Rick is obviously healthy (in body anyway, the mind might be an entirely different matter) and took an early retirement to navel gaze, work on VV and post on the family blog. 

I'm not comfortable with the implication of him being dangerous, but physical health notwithstanding I think Rick has seemed to struggle with mental health issues for years which likely prevented him from holding a job.

that's no excuse for taking financial advantage of their kids.

[Briefly]

5 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I'm sticking to my theory that Rick is an obvious family annihilator waiting to happen and the boys stay to protect everyone. 

And that it takes all of them working and living at home to support the family and pay for Rick's expensive Vine Valley vanity project film. You all know that he has the latest, most costly equipment.  Since it's been going on for years he probably buys newer, fancier, costlier equipment every year or so.

The more boys working, the more money Rick has to waste spend.

 

I sincerely hope that you are wrong about him, that is too scary to even think about.  But yes, it is .wrong to live off of his children.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 minutes ago, Briefly said:

I sincerely hope that you are wrong about him

I'm. wondering what this speculation is based on.

[MarblesMom]

I think the kids have come up with the "must stick together" ideal....perhaps seeing their parents/Dad mostly, check out of reality, and hate to leave Mom alone with him, or alone in general, have decided to stay and do what they can for her/them.

I have no other theories at this time.

[Hane]

Let’s say that ten of their adult children make $50,000/yr each. That’s a cool half-mil a year, on top of whatever money the parents have in the bank or are getting through pension/investments/Social Security (if they’re old enough to collect it).

[MarblesMom]

37 minutes ago, Hane said:

Let’s say that ten of their adult children make $50,000/yr each. That’s a cool half-mil a year,

Do we even know how many of them are working FT?

[Petronella]

5 hours ago, Hane said:

Let’s say that ten of their adult children make $50,000/yr each. That’s a cool half-mil a year, on top of whatever money the parents have in the bank or are getting through pension/investments/Social Security (if they’re old enough to collect it).

I’m not convinced the adult boys all work full time. One of the benefits to their situation is that they could be picky about jobs and not have to work full-time.

I would hope not picky in a “judging the worthiness of other people’s weddings” kind of way (and they don’t appear to be picky in this way), but picky in a “we don’t want to also do school pictures and mall portraits to fill in the financial gaps” kind of way.

I’m in a creative/freelance field, and it’s a real perk that my husband’s salary covers the basics which allows me to pick and choose my gigs. Keeps it from becoming a hamster wheel, y’know? (And actually, my husband also works part-time, but in an in-demand, well remunerated field. He gets to be more involved with the kids and have hobby time and just plain downtime; part-time is great if it’s financially feasible.)

Perhaps the Arndts find this to be a benefit of collective living?

(Totally not worth the “no lives of their own” part, but a gentler, less hurried life still could be seen as a perk. I love my work, but love having time for other stuff too.)

[Katzchen24]

I know I'm late to the Penguin Park, but I was just watching Wallace and Gromit in "The Wrong Trousers" and I immediately thought of the Arndt thread.

Spoiler

Spoiler

Somewhat apposite.......

[Carm_88]

Rick obviously isn't part of this world and checked out a long time ago, I would think. I don't think he's dangerous in the sense of physical violence, but I think that he may use a lot of guilt to keep the boys at home.

[gustava]

I'm going to be the "odd person out"  here.  I think Cathy is the real power in the household, rather than Rick; it's her hand across the stomach of the birthday manboys.....  Nor do I think they stay as financial support for Rick.  They could move away and still make financial contributions to the family.  Just my thoughts to begin another year of Arndt nothingness 

[MamaJunebug]

On 12/29/2018 at 6:57 PM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I'm not comfortable with the implication of him being dangerous, but physical health notwithstanding I think Rick has seemed to struggle with mental health issues for years which likely prevented him from holding a job.

that's no excuse for taking financial advantage of their kids.

Mental health issues prevent him from holding a job but had no effect on his ability to sire 13 (?) kids and get a pretty nice piece of real estate. My mental health issues should be so handy. *heh*

[HerNameIsBuffy]

33 minutes ago, gustava said:

I'm going to be the "odd person out"  here.  I think Cathy is the real power in the household, rather than Rick; it's her hand across the stomach of the birthday manboys.....  Nor do I think they stay as financial support for Rick.  They could move away and still make financial contributions to the family.  Just my thoughts to begin another year of Arndt nothingness 

I agree Cathy runs the show and keeps everyone home.

I just don't know how.

[formergothardite]

I think Cathy is extremely controlling but both of the parents have emotionally manipulated their kids for their entire lives and now they are emotionally dependent on their parents. From all accounts Rick was a super gentle father who also made his children's lives all about him. From they time they were tiny they have had an unhealthy connection to their parents and their parents IMO probably are experts at emotionally manipulating them. 

They spend hours watching old videos of their dad stopping work to play with them. While other fundies have stories of physical abuse, they have stories of fun and laughter. It is a very weird family dynamic, and I bet the second any of them even consider moving away from the family norm the parents(and other siblings) guilt them into thinking ideas of independence are bad. 

[Howl]

On 12/30/2018 at 4:03 AM, Katzchen24 said:

I know I'm late to the Penguin Park, but I was just watching Wallace and Gromit in "The Wrong Trousers" and I immediately thought of the Arndt thread.

  Hide contents

  Hide contents

Somewhat apposite.......

Bless you!  I'm a HUGE Wallace and Gromit fan! 

Edited January 1, 2019 by Howl

[JenniferJuniper]

11 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I agree Cathy runs the show and keeps everyone home.

I just don't know how.

While I think Cathy is deeply complicit, my sense is that Rick rules the roost while Cathy enforces his rules. Too much is controlled by him, and she's too damn busy with everything else.

We can't know the "how" because Rick so carefully choreographed what was shown to the outside world. We really know nothing about what goes on in the homestead.  All we really know is that a family of 13 adult offspring ranging all the way up to age 38 have decided to stay home. And that they like stuffed penguins. A lot.

Everything else seems to be Rick.  I don't believe for a second that each one of the 13 sons enjoys softball games every night from April to October.  I can't believe some or most haven't figured out that Vine Valley is a crock of shit.  I don't believe men in their 30's enjoy living dormitory style with their brothers.  I don't believe it's escaped them that their able-bodied and court-reporter trained father is living off of them.

Fear has to play a major role but I can't for the life of me figure out the interplay.  Even if the oldest truly believe the family will starve without them, what about all those middle sons who seemingly do no work outside the home?   Why doesn't some 25 year old say, "Guys, I know I'm risking all your wrath, but gosh darn it, I'm striking out on my own and moving to St. Louis."?   I mean, they can spare a son or two, can't they?

One concerning thing is the radio silence from Rick that's been going on for over a year now.  Normally this time of year we'd be getting all sorts of updates about yet another fruitless trip to upstate New York to film Rick falling in the snow.  That Vine Valley teaser was ages ago now.  Has something happened in Arndtville?  Or is Rick just tired of all the questions?  If so, why now?  It didn't bother him as each of his oldest sons turned 30 over the years. He proudly showed us photos of each master bedroom gala. 

Has Rick completely lost his remaining marbles?  Has someone rebelled against the Arndt world order?  Is someone sick?  I feel like I've just watched a 10 year TV series that was just canceled - and left off on a major cliffhanger.  

[Katzchen24]

12 hours ago, Howl said:

Bless you!  I'm a HUGE Wallace and Gromit fan! 

@Howl I was over in Melbourne last year, and got to see a Wallace and Gromit Exhibition. It had original sets, sketches, and all sorts of bits and pieces from all of the Aardman Animation shows. I just kind of lucked into it as I hadn't known it was on. One of the highlights of my trip. Wallace and Gromit crack me up, and Shaun the Sheep is just adorable. Cracking cheese, Gromit!

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I agree that at least some of the sons must see the insanity of everyone safe at home, but the child I feel the most sympathy for is Wizzie.

Wizzie has been groomed/ trained/ programmed her whole life to be Cathy junior. If Arndtville stays as it is it will be Wizzie keeping house for her 12 brothers.  Forget her ever marrying. Heck forget her ever having a date.

She doesn't have an escape route via a job because her SOTDRT education prepared her to keep house and nothing else. 

How on earth does she stand knowing that the next 40 or more years will be exactly as life is now?  No changes. Nothing but drones, softball and stuffed penguins. Birthday galas in the master bedroom, even after R&C are gone, "because that's what we've always done."

It would make me run screaming from the house and flag down the first car I saw for a ride to.... anywhere but there.

Which leads me to wonder, if one of the manboys did break away would Rick somehow force him to come back?

[Four is Enough]

On 1/1/2019 at 11:45 AM, formergothardite said:

. It is a very weird family dynamic, and I bet the second any of them even consider moving away from the family norm the parents(and other siblings) guilt them into thinking ideas of independence are bad. 

I'm beginning to understand it now... the Arndts are a real life TRUMAN show!!

[gustava]

21 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

I'm beginning to understand it now... the Arndts are a real life TRUMAN show!!

Except Truman doesn't know there is  a world outside his bubble; the manboys do.

[JenniferJuniper]

7 hours ago, gustava said:

Except Truman doesn't know there is  a world outside his bubble; the manboys do.

Even more than just know it, they're in and out of it on a regular basis.

Come back, Rick.  We need to know what's happening, even if it's still just "absolutely nothing". 

[Lisafer]

8 hours ago, gustava said:

Except Truman doesn't know there is  a world outside his bubble; the manboys do.

They're all Truman...if he decided not to open the door.

[usedbicycle]

I don't get the sense that the boys stay because they're afraid of Rick going crazy or feel the pressure to financially contribute.

What I see is a big frathouse of dudes that have never really graduated from college. They share inside jokes, showers, clothes, work, pizza, the gym... and they have a mother and sister doing all their laundry. I'm sure a few had some flings with girls that didn't work out (one of them - John I think - was confirmed a while ago). The failed dating has just strengthened their "bros before hoes" mentality, and they find comfort in their current lifestyle. 

I think back on old episodes of Famteam where the guys go to Costco and buy like 50 pounds of sliced turkey for manly sandwiches, work out at the gym, play sports, goof around on their computers and play practical jokes on each other. Not very appealing to a girl looking for husband material.

Of course, this is 100% compounded by the "safe at home" family motto that has been drilled in their heads by their parents. If one did have a girlfriend, the situation would likely escalate to an ultimatum where he had to pick her over his family, and it would be very, very hard to do so.

 

Edited January 4, 2019 by usedbicycle

[nausicaa]

On 1/2/2019 at 12:05 PM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

She doesn't have an escape route via a job because her SOTDRT education prepared her to keep house and nothing else. 

One thing I'll give Cathy (and something else that makes the whole situation even weirder) is that she seemed to have given them a fairly rigorous home school education. In one of the FamTeam episodes while Wizzy was a senior in high school, she was at the kitchen table working from an economics textbook that appeared to be at a late high school/early college level. All of the kids' blog posts are fairly solid in both flow and grammar.

I think she, as well as her brothers, would have no problem in community college or even a state college.

Same for getting a job--she's been around other people and she's watched her brothers build their own (fairly successful) businesses. And I believe she has accompanied her brothers on some wedding shoots as an extra shooter. Cathy has never seemed too strict about gender roles, and while I'm sure Wizzy has more than her fair share of laundry to do, I don't think she is stopped from helping out with the accounting or learning some web design for the brothers' businesses.