John David and Abbie Grace 4: Wedding Planning

[SorenaJ]

You can celebrate your birthday on any day of the year. You are not forced to celebrate it on your actual birthday. 

[nvmbr02]

On 9/18/2018 at 12:24 AM, karen77 said:

I still haven't met anyone with my birthday, craziness ( 11/13)

My son shares your birthday! I have a good friend that also has a son with that birthday, her son is 5 years older than mine. 

[newyorkgirl52]

10 hours ago, newyorkgirl52 said:

On her tumblr she says that she thinks abortion is wrong and considers herself pro-life but she supports Roe and doesn't think abortion should be legal...she has also shared that one of her best friends is trans...to be this is a great example of having your own beliefs without forcing it on others...

I meant doesn't think it should be ILlegal. 

7 hours ago, neurogirl said:

HECK YES! I just don't see someone like Krista or Whitney or Jinger being like "bring on all the abortions!" (exaggeration obviously, no one wants that) Or even like "meh."  But I will enthusiastically accept from them "I really hate the idea of abortions and they make me sad and I could never get one myself...BUT I'm not going to push for it to be made illegal or publicly villainize people who have one because Jesus calls me to have compassion/separation of church and state/give to Caesar what is Caesar/literally any reason." Because then that's just a conservative? (actually really mainstream) idea. Without trying to turn America into a theocracy. And to me, that's one of the biggest differences between conservative and fundie. 

From what I've read on her blogs it seems like that's how she feels exactly. What sucks for her because she gets crapped on by conservatives for thinking it should be legal, but also crapped on by liberals for thinking its wrong...

[Rachel333]

I actually have an aunt with a 12/25 birthday and an uncle with a 7/4 birthday. When said uncle was a child he thought the fireworks were for him.

[CarrotCake]

4 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

You can celebrate your birthday on any day of the year. You are not forced to celebrate it on your actual birthday. 

My bf and me celebrated our 30th birthday this year, exactly between our two birthdays.

He was 30,5 by then and I was 29,5. It was so nice to celebrate my birthday in summer! I think we will do the same in 10 years ?

[sleepy_doggos]

January birthdays suck (bleak post Christmas landscape anyone?) but where I live there was a 50% chance of an ice storm cancelling school, so....

[HarleyQuinn]

13 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Eh. So many people think "pro-choice" means "pro-abortion."

A choice is a choice.

I'm quite aware of the definition, it was just poor wording on my part.

[Four is Enough]

I have a child with a DEcember birthday. Christmas tree never went up till after his birthday.

My sister and I, with ourselves and our kids, have birthdays in March, July, August, September,  October,November, and December, and every summer we'd throw ourselves a weekend "Birthday Bash" We'd set up a pavilion in her yard, get a pinata, have a huge cake that said, "Happy Birthday everybody" and everyone would get money from both her and me, and if they wanted we'd go shopping one day. It seemed like a great idea because it was very difficult to get together for school year birthdays and we don't live    in the same town.

[scoutsadie]

8 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

This is actually a really difficult topic. I know many women who said they never want children in their late twenties only to desperately want them from their mid to late thirties. If a woman gets her tubes tied the decision is made and when you experience a change of heart you are screwed. That is why I see no problem in having to jump medical hoops in that case - you can still get your operation in the end. You shouldn’t have to wait for years though!!!

My reasons, my business - why should I have to justify my choice to be sterilized when no one is asked to justify wanting help/surgery to have kids?  Think about this statement above from the other side:

"If a woman has a baby the decision is made and when you experience a change of heart [about being a parent] you are screwed."

Yet society/docs go along with breeding. Why should my choice - which has fewer consequences for the world - be challenged and/or prevented?

[PigtailHeadband]

17 hours ago, haroldtheyrefundies said:

My childhood best friend's birthday is January 4th

January 7th here. I've always hated my birthday. Everyone is exhausted from the holidays, in college we were always off on break so I wasn't with my friends, and now as an adult everyone is doing "Dry January". It's no fun at all!

My dad was Dec 24th. It worked out for him as an adult, as we always got together with his family side for Xmas Eve and even though we drew names for gifts, everyone would bring him something for his birthday ?

[elliha]

5 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

I actually have an aunt with a 12/25 birthday and an uncle with a 7/4 birthday. When said uncle was a child he thought the fireworks were for him.

My daughter was born July 4 but we are not Americans. The big thing for us is that she was born the day before my 30th birthday. I am so glad she got her own birthday (by only about 4 hours) and that she also got to be my birthday present from god as I jokingly call her sometimes. 

[lumpentheologie]

I'm Jan 5th and I've usually liked that my birthday is then. I just feel like I get an extra-long winter holiday season (and I get depressed during the winter, so I need winter holidays to cheer me up). I always asked my parents to leave the Christmas tree up until my birthday.  Once I was older I often chose to get a big expensive present that was a combined Christmas-birthday present. We also celebrated my half-birthday every year by going out for ice cream in the summer. The only part that wasn't great was that it was during winter break and all my friends were often gone, but I would just have a party a few weeks later. 

Now I'm a historian and the American Historical Association conference is on my birthday every damn year, and I hate that, but it's obviously the conference's fault and not my birthday's. 

[catlady]

25 minutes ago, PigtailHeadband said:

January 7th here. I've always hated my birthday. Everyone is exhausted from the holidays, in college we were always off on break so I wasn't with my friends, and now as an adult everyone is doing "Dry January". It's no fun at all!

Feel free to celebrate with me!  What is this Dry January of which you speak? (haha)  It doesn’t seem to be a thing in my region, so I would be happy to throw a party for you, complete with all the boozy drinks you desire!!

[Cheetah]

5 minutes ago, catlady said:

Feel free to celebrate with me!  What is this Dry January of which you speak? (haha)  It doesn’t seem to be a thing in my region, so I would be happy to throw a party for you, complete with all the boozy drinks you desire!!

Dry January aka liver appreciation month after the excess of the holidays :-).  Not a bad idea, although you can do it a different month as well.  

[PigtailHeadband]

31 minutes ago, catlady said:

It doesn’t seem to be a thing in my region, so I would be happy to throw a party for you, complete with all the boozy drinks you desire!!

Count me in! No Dry January for this girl 

[FleeJanaFree]

Having a child is more life changing than continuing not having a/another child. If a woman wants her tubes tied, she ought to be able to make that choice without input from others who fear she might change her mind later. 

[Carm_88]

16 hours ago, melon said:

Carm,I think you and my oldest son share the same birthday,along with Spurgeon Seewald.

 

Your son and I share a birthday, it's Jessa and Ben's anniversary. Spurgeon was due that day but he was born on the 5th.

[MoonFace]

13 hours ago, TZmom said:

We are a family of July birthdays too. There are 5 birthdays in three days (July 4 ×2, July 5, July 6 ×2), two on the 11th, one each on the 21st and 22nd, and THREE on the 26th.

Clearly everyone in the family gets busy in October-ish.

There are three of us in my family (Me, a cousin and a cousin's daughter) on the 26th.   My cousin lived upstairs from us.   He and I shared a birthday cake from the time he was 1.   I HATED it!

[Rachel333]

I've read that people who never want children are less likely to change their minds than people who want to be sterilized after having children, since in those cases it's not uncommon that they'll find themselves in a new relationship and want children with the new partner. (That has nothing to do with the relationship longevity of people who want kids vs people who don't, just that if someone never wanted children that's unlikely to change with a new relationship.) It's particularly true of men since they can have children later, are often in relationships with younger women, the burden of having a child is a lot less, and the procedure itself is more easily reversed. 

Of course, the thing is that it really isn't just the decision of the individual. A doctor has to agree to perform the surgery too, and doctors don't have to perform surgeries they aren't comfortable with. Doctors decline surgeries all the time, usually because they feel it's too risky for one reason or another. Unfortunately doctors who do a lot of those surgeries also do see patients who regret the surgery, and there's a real fear of being sued. I do find that more sympathetic than doctors who simply think they know better than the patient.  I also definitely think that a doctor should be willing to refer a patient to another doctor who will perform the surgery, if possible.

[SapphireSlytherin]

20 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

Your son and I share a birthday, it's Jessa and Ben's anniversary. Spurgeon was due that day but he was born on the 5th.

And you share a birthday with GryffindorDisappointment.  

[haroldtheyrefundies]

30 minutes ago, MoonFace said:

There are three of us in my family (Me, a cousin and a cousin's daughter) on the 26th.   My cousin lived upstairs from us.   He and I shared a birthday cake from the time he was 1.   I HATED it!

I thought not a long people had my birthday (July 26) until now. Apparently, it is more common than I thought. There is a girl who goes to my school who I do my work-study with and we have the same birthday. 

[Meggo]

19 hours ago, louisa05 said:

My brother's b-day is December 15. My parents were very conscious to not let it get tied to Christmas when we were kids. On his first birthday, my paternal grandparents showed up and put his gift, wrapped in Christmas paper, under the tree while they ate and did cake. From then on, the tree never went up until after his birthday. Mr. 05 likes to put the tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving which coming from my post-12/15 childhood seems weirdly early! 

Crazy SiL was born on December 31. For several years this was a reason for everyone to be forced to spend NYE at the party she threw for herself. But now that she is homeless for legal purposes (but not really), she stopped throwing them. 

Similar to this - my mom's baby brother was born on December 20th and the tree did NOT go up in her house until after his birthday. 
So I'm STILL the last person to put a tree up (usually around December 10th - or later if I can get away with it - I have a 5 year old so that's not always easy). 

I like Christmas, but I like Thanksgiving, and I like Halloween. - No need to rush into any of them - give each one their due! 

[Charliemae]

2 hours ago, scoutsadie said:

My reasons, my business - why should I have to justify my choice to be sterilized when no one is asked to justify wanting help/surgery to have kids?  Think about this statement above from the other side:

"If a woman has a baby the decision is made and when you experience a change of heart [about being a parent] you are screwed."

Yet society/docs go along with breeding. Why should my choice - which has fewer consequences for the world - be challenged and/or prevented?

 

 

I find this conversation fascinating.  

When we are talking about jumping through "hoops" and not being specific it's easy to read into this one way or the other.  Some hoops are there to protect women, in fertility issues and most major medical decisions.   Historically women aren't given a lot of autonomy in medical choices.   I know a women who had no trouble getting her tubes tied, we suspect because she's lower income and has a few kids already.  POC also have a much easier time getting those procedures... 

I'm not sure I'm really adding anything.  This is just making my mind spin taking in all the sides. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

34 minutes ago, Charliemae said:

I know a women who had no trouble getting her tubes tied, we suspect because she's lower income and has a few kids already.  POC also have a much easier time getting those procedures... 

I've found the opposite. I used to work with a 24-year-old Black woman who had five kids. She couldn't find a doctor - anywhere!!! in our large city - who would tie her tubes until she was "at least 30."

[bal maiden]

12 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

 

It is complicated, because why not just use contraception (maybe mix different types) but I see why this is a lot of effort if you are a 100% sure. Especially if you don’t want to take the pill/shot. In a monogamous long term relationship the man could get snipped and you could match that with nfp/condoms/hormones/diaphragma/ coil/foam to be more secure. But then I believe that if people would use contraception 100% correctly there wouldn’t be as many ooops-pregnancies. I am guilty of taking a risk but I knew what could happen. Many are just clueless and/or not willing to insist on a condom to be sure. Sadly most of this lies still in the hands of women. I dream of a pill for men (even if that wouldn’t be a choice for us) and other men specific contraception choices.

You’re assuming that sex is always fully consensual and that women therefore get the choice to use that contraception... I know plenty of women in marriages with men who ‘take’, and these are far from fundies or submissive wife types.