John David and Abbie Grace 4: Wedding Planning

[HarleyQuinn]

2 hours ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

If Krista is in fact pro-choice, I am surprised indeed that the Duggars are still friends with her. Being anti-abortion and anti-LGBT have become hills to die on for a lot of fundie churches and even a fair amount of conservative Christian churches.

I don't think she's pro-choice. She marched at the Women's march for women to choose to oppose abortions if they want to. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

2 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I don't think she's pro-choice. She marched at the Women's march for women to choose to oppose abortions if they want to. 

But isn't that what pro-CHOICE is? The right to CHOOSE?

[mollysmom]

21 minutes ago, neurogirl said:

Because the Bills went to the Super Bowl in '91 and '93 (and '92 and '94 but they only have two kids)! 

Are all those September babies due to cabin fever "in the bleak mid-winter?" 

Great reason to celebrate!! Go Bills!!!!!!!!!!!!

I always thought the September babies were because of Christmas/New Years Eve sex. Gotta celebrate those holidays properly!! 

[louisa05]

My brother's b-day is December 15. My parents were very conscious to not let it get tied to Christmas when we were kids. On his first birthday, my paternal grandparents showed up and put his gift, wrapped in Christmas paper, under the tree while they ate and did cake. From then on, the tree never went up until after his birthday. Mr. 05 likes to put the tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving which coming from my post-12/15 childhood seems weirdly early! 

Crazy SiL was born on December 31. For several years this was a reason for everyone to be forced to spend NYE at the party she threw for herself. But now that she is homeless for legal purposes (but not really), she stopped throwing them. 

[newyorkgirl52]

2 hours ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

If Krista is in fact pro-choice, I am surprised indeed that the Duggars are still friends with her. Being anti-abortion and anti-LGBT have become hills to die on for a lot of fundie churches and even a fair amount of conservative Christian churches.

On her tumblr she says that she thinks abortion is wrong and considers herself pro-life but she supports Roe and doesn't think abortion should be legal...she has also shared that one of her best friends is trans...to be this is a great example of having your own beliefs without forcing it on others...

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

On 9/17/2018 at 1:44 PM, fundieundies said:

John and Abbie might as well put baby gear on their registry, we all know it's gonna happen and it'd be so convenient for everyone

Barring fertility issues. If Brandon and Michael Bates had done this, they would have a house full of reminders of their childlessness. This would sting for a couple that wants kids (or who believe that having kids is a blessing from God).

[melon]

My oldest brother's birthday is December 4.He has never complained about his birthday,and as far as I remember it was celebrated ,separately.

My cousin's birthday is January 31.Her younger sister,my other cousin's birthday is August 5th,a few days after my birthday.I used to go visit them for a week in the summer,and my aunt would have a birthday party for both of us.My other cousin cried and complained...she said it wasn't any fun to have a January birthday.

 

[haroldtheyrefundies]

My childhood best friend's birthday is January 4th, and I have always felt bad for her because not only is that right after Christmas, but that is usually when our school would go back to school after Christmas break is over. My mom's birthday is December 19th and we have always done her birthday on that day, but we do normally have the tree up by then so her presents do go under the tree normally, but they're birthday presents, not birthday and Christmas. I think she's started to like her birthday more now that we normally get a Star Wars movie around that time each year

[Chickenbutt]

Since my son is now an adult, he has no problem with his birthday being on Dec. 26th. If he is here, we have birthday cake, presents, celebration, etc on that day. Everything is wrapped in birthday paper and all pictures are out of the way of Christmas stuff. I even move all the Christmas crap out of the way for birthday pictures. He may not care, but I still want him to have his birthday completely separate from Christmas. 

DIL's bday is Dec 21st. We also do a whole separate family party for her too,. No Christmas involvement.

Every child/grandchild gets their choice of cake/pie/dessert for their bday. So I end up baking on the 21st, then pies for Christmas, then early on the 26th I bake whatever son has chosen for his birthday. It is exhausting and I gain a ton of weight, but everybody is happy and the tradition lives on. Mom/Nana will make us whatever we want....lol. I can live with that. 

What is most interesting about the whole cake/pie dessert thing are the choices. No longer do they just want cake. My grand daughters will search my cookbooks for anything that looks good. We had homemade cinnamon rolls for birthday cake one year. Key Lime pie has been a choice. Ice cream sandwich cake. Strawberry Fluff cake. And my son's all time favorite "Angel Feet (Food) Cake" No one in our family calls it Angel Food cake anymore since 30ish years ago my son was horrified we were eating Angel's Feet Cake. 

 

[Wifey4Lifey]

My family also does birthday dessert instead of just cake, and ends up with a fun variety of things! Pies, cobblers, brownies, cookies, and even a fruit tray or potato cakes, requested by a vegan and a diabetic, respectively. We wrote my uncle's name in ketchup on the potato cakes! 

[catlady]

My nephews’ birthdays are 12/21 and 12/23.  Their parents didn’t want them to ever feel like they were being shorted, so early on they budgeted money for birthday gifts on top of Christmas, and asked them separately what they wanted for their birthdays and what they wanted for Christmas.  Their birthday presents were never wrapped in Christmas paper.  The four of them would go out to dinner on their actual birthdays, and the bday boy would choose the restaurant.  Their smallish town has always had a half-dozen restaurants, and if the weather cooperated they’d drive half an hour to the nearest urban center for places like Cheesecake Factory and such.  But if one of them chose the local pizza shop, that’s where they went.  Then they’d go home for cake and presents.  Mom would send cupcakes for their classes either on their bday or the last day of school, whichever was first.  Then they’d have their parties in mid-January; more of their friends were likely to be free after the school break than before or during (this wasn’t done for more presents, but to reciprocate to all the friends who invited the boys to their own parties throughout the year).  Mom and Dad’s efforts must have worked because neither kid has ever complained about having a late-Dec birthday.

[Carm_88]

My Dad's birthday is December 14th, one of his older brother's is December 7th. I don't think that either of them really notice that their birthdays are close to Christmas, but I sure do. My cousin/best friend, one our friends from university (Her Dad's birthday is either the 24th or the 25th of December) and another friend from high school who has a Dad with a late November/Early December birthday, all complain about "Another present, as if December isn't full of presents."*

*Jokingly of course, we all love our Dads!

[melon]

Carm,I think you and my oldest son share the same birthday,along with Spurgeon Seewald.

 

[HarleyQuinn]

3 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

But isn't that what pro-CHOICE is? The right to CHOOSE?

Yes, but I got the impression she sees this as the only option still? Unless I'm mistaken

 

[SapphireSlytherin]

Just now, HarleyQuinn said:

Yes, but I got the impression she sees this as the only option still? Unless I'm mistaken

 

Eh. So many people think "pro-choice" means "pro-abortion."

A choice is a choice.

[neurogirl]

11 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Eh. So many people think "pro-choice" means "pro-abortion."

A choice is a choice.

HECK YES! I just don't see someone like Krista or Whitney or Jinger being like "bring on all the abortions!" (exaggeration obviously, no one wants that) Or even like "meh."  But I will enthusiastically accept from them "I really hate the idea of abortions and they make me sad and I could never get one myself...BUT I'm not going to push for it to be made illegal or publicly villainize people who have one because Jesus calls me to have compassion/separation of church and state/give to Caesar what is Caesar/literally any reason." Because then that's just a conservative? (actually really mainstream) idea. Without trying to turn America into a theocracy. And to me, that's one of the biggest differences between conservative and fundie. 

[JillyO]

1 hour ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Eh. So many people think "pro-choice" means "pro-abortion."

A choice is a choice.

I know, right? I have literally never met ANYONE who's pro-abortion, in spite of what anti-choicers seem to think.

[louisa05]

My brother's complaints about his December birthday in childhood were never about Christmas. His big complaint was not having a summer birthday. Our extended family was very close on the maternal side. There are seven of us grandkids and all of us but him have birthdays in July or August. We had a big family summer picnic every year and my grandma made a big sheet cake with the names of everyone with the July and August birthdays on it--which included not only six grandkids, but one daughter, one son-in-law, one daughter-in-law and our grandpa. Each of us kids got the piece of cake with out name on it. And my brother felt pretty left out. Grandma always gave him a piece with a special decoration or something and always brought him a single cake just for him on his birthday. But he still felt like the odd one out. 

Grandma also had a set of 12 glasses with flowers for each month on them. As kids, we always wanted to drink out of the one for our birthday month. I always tell him to never mind the cake, he ALWAYS got his birthday month glass. I had to take turns with two other kids. 

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

34 minutes ago, JillyO said:

I know, right? I have literally never met ANYONE who's pro-abortion, in spite of what anti-choicers seem to think.

I know at least two women who vehemently don't want kids. Both are in their 30's, have had abortions before, and would prefer not to go through with it again. They got their tubes tied recently, and are thankful for that option. Mind you, they had to jump through a lot of medical hoops in order to do this and it took years. It's a shame that even some doctors think it's strange or wrong for a woman to not want kids.

Yup. Pro choice is about choice and body autonomy. Access to proper birth control/education/prophylactics is a huge part of this. Most pro choicers would rather prevent conception than have abortions.

[TZmom]

59 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

My brother's complaints about his December birthday in childhood were never about Christmas. His big complaint was not having a summer birthday. Our extended family was very close on the maternal side. There are seven of us grandkids and all of us but him have birthdays in July or August. We had a big family summer picnic every year and my grandma made a big sheet cake with the names of everyone with the July and August birthdays on it--which included not only six grandkids, but one daughter, one son-in-law, one daughter-in-law and our grandpa. Each of us kids got the piece of cake with out name on it. And my brother felt pretty left out. Grandma always gave him a piece with a special decoration or something and always brought him a single cake just for him on his birthday. But he still felt like the odd one out. 

Grandma also had a set of 12 glasses with flowers for each month on them. As kids, we always wanted to drink out of the one for our birthday month. I always tell him to never mind the cake, he ALWAYS got his birthday month glass. I had to take turns with two other kids. 

We are a family of July birthdays too. There are 5 birthdays in three days (July 4 ×2, July 5, July 6 ×2), two on the 11th, one each on the 21st and 22nd, and THREE on the 26th.

Clearly everyone in the family gets busy in October-ish.

[louisa05]

1 minute ago, TZmom said:

We are a family of July birthdays too. There are 5 birthdays in three days (July 4 ×2, July 5, July 6 ×2), two on the 11th, one each on the 21st and 22nd, and THREE on the 26th.

Clearly everyone in the family gets busy in October-ish.

July birthdays on my mom's side now (with great grandkids and spouses of grandchildren adding 3 more) are 5, 5, 9, 13, 15, 19, 22, 23, 28.  August are 6, 9, 12, 25--so not as many. My mom got a niece for her b-day one year. And July 13 & August 6 are grandkids born the same year. On dad's side there are three of us grandkids with August b-days--6, 7 and 12 and the 7th & 12th kids were born the same year. Not as many July b-days on that side--just two. But there are a couple of Junes to round it out so that 7 of 14 grandkids were summer babies. 

[Audrey2]

October is the really busy month in my family. Between my mom's and my dad's side, we cover the 2,12,13,21,25,28, and 31. My best friend's is the 27th.

My brother was the odd man out, both because he had an April birthday and most of us are fall (including all of my nuclear family), and also because he was the only one of the cousins on both sides with his own birthday month. We also have 2 Novembers, 2 Decembers, and 2 Julys. After my Dad died and my Mom remarried, she picked an April birthday husband, so my brother is no longer the odd man out.

[mango_fandango]

My family are spaced out with birthdays, although most are in spring/summer. May is the most popular month - 6, 19, 27 and 30. That includes all three of my aunts and my brother. Mum is March, my grandfather and one cousin are April, one uncle is June, grandma and I are July, two cousins are August, dad is September and one cousin is November. It’s a fairly smallish family right now, I’m the oldest grandchild. My father’s parents are dead; that grandfather was April and grandma was August. (She died in June 2003, and my cousin was born on her birthday in August that year).

 

[just_ordinary]

2 hours ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

I know at least two women who vehemently don't want kids. Both are in their 30's, have had abortions before, and would prefer not to go through with it again. They got their tubes tied recently, and are thankful for that option. Mind you, they had to jump through a lot of medical hoops in order to do this and it took years. It's a shame that even some doctors think it's strange or wrong for a woman to not want kids.

Yup. Pro choice is about choice and body autonomy. Access to proper birth control/education/prophylactics is a huge part of this. Most pro choicers would rather prevent conception than have abortions.

This is actually a really difficult topic. I know many women who said they never want children in their late twenties only to desperately want them from their mid to late thirties. If a woman gets her tubes tied the decision is made and when you experience a change of heart you are screwed. That is why I see no problem in having to jump medical hoops in that case - you can still get your operation in the end. You shouldn’t have to wait for years though!!!

And just because someone had an abortion does not equal that they don’t want children (not implying you said that!) . So in that case it just doesn’t matter. Someone could have five abortions in their twenties only to be happy to conceive in their thirties.

It is complicated, because why not just use contraception (maybe mix different types) but I see why this is a lot of effort if you are a 100% sure. Especially if you don’t want to take the pill/shot. In a monogamous long term relationship the man could get snipped and you could match that with nfp/condoms/hormones/diaphragma/ coil/foam to be more secure. But then I believe that if people would use contraception 100% correctly there wouldn’t be as many ooops-pregnancies. I am guilty of taking a risk but I knew what could happen. Many are just clueless and/or not willing to insist on a condom to be sure. Sadly most of this lies still in the hands of women. I dream of a pill for men (even if that wouldn’t be a choice for us) and other men specific contraception choices.

Maybe I am very sensitive on this topic because I have seen how hard it is when the wish for children comes up late and isn’t fulfilled in the end. While I don’t understand why some people start to desperately want children at 40 it still sucks and is very hard.

[AliceInFundyland]

Why people start to want children at 40?

Sometimes you see the window for your fertility waning and you start to reconsider it. It’s hard to explain.