Joy and Austin 24

[Georgiana]

Austin is also in his early 20s.  In things like talking heads, he tends to have the young-adult, overconfident in his assessment bravado.  That's frankly pretty normal for his age.  You talk to a lot of 20-somethings fresh into the "real world", you'll get a lot of people who sound very much like Austin about things.  Man did I have some ideas about timelines and the way my life was going to go at 22-23, I tell you what.  

And while that's not great and something he will likely learn to tone down with time, the important thing is that when he is faced with ACTUAL decisions (and not just hypotheticals, like in talking heads), he is clearly willing and able to admit he was wrong and/or defer to his wife.  When push came to shove, they did things on Joy's timeline.

People in their early 20s still have developing brains and aren't always great at long-term, hypothetical assessments.  Clearly, Austin has a few issues with that.  That will likely change as he matures and gains experience, and he will learn how to better anticipate the needs of his family as part of that.  So he's not good at ANTICIPATING what's best for his family yet, but when in the moment, his actions show he will change his tune based on the situation.  That's a good sign, and the rest may be due to his age and biological immaturity.  Ben did a lot of the same.

We have to remember: unlike what fundies would like us to believe, this kidults DON'T magically mature into full fledged mature adults upon their wedding vows.  They're still going to act their age to a certain extent.  They're still going to show their inexperience.  And yes, it will open them up to criticism and rightfully so because it's a statement on their youth and perhaps their readiness to take on certain commitments.  But it may not be a commentary on their character.  

[Lizzybet]

 

5 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

My big BEC is what the fuck is it with wearing hats in the house, the delivery room, the dining room table et all?  

Argh! This bugs the hell outta me, too.

[AprilQuilt]

17 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

That and the fact that saying marriage is work, is the truth. I don't see the big deal in spouses saying "it is a lot of work, and an adjustment" when it is. I guess I don't need to have sunshine and roses blown up my ass to feel good about myself and my marriage.  I'm the 1st to admit my husband is a pain in the ass and drives me crazy some times. Guess what I'm also a pain in the ass and drive him crazy some times, we're humans its what we do. You just have to learn to live with the annoying things and focus more on the good stuff.

Totally, all good relationships require work. I definitely see mine as an achievement (and sometimes a trial). It's only that the Duggars are generally very uncritical on their show, we don't see much of their real life, only the life they want  to present. Relationships, however, are something they've been given the vocabulary and the motivation to talk about as less than perfect - fundies, with all their workbooks and pre-marriage counselling sessions and love languages, are I would say more candid than quite a lot of other people on how relationships take work and commitment. I was never explicitly taught that as a young person, and definitely not in an organised long-term way - it's not like any adult in my life felt it was any of their business, for a start. For the Duggars it's a lot to do with the fact that they'll only get one relationship, and if they're unhappy in it they have no recourse beyond trying to fix it themselves. But the little issues (not the big miseries, embarrassments and failures) are something they are taught to be frank about much earlier.

 

16 hours ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

Yes and that's really unfortunate. I just meant of the couples they seem the least dependent on JB/TLC. They seem less fame whorey than some of the other Duggars which is a low bar to set, I admit. 

I do actually agree with this. I don't think either of the Forsyths enjoy being on camera - Joy's little scene-connecting statements ('Austin and I have been in the new house for two months now' or whatever) just ooze her boredom and frustration - but they probably see it as a family business to pull their weight in just like Austin's family camp thing. The extra money definitely doesn't hurt. They are pretty compliant people, I doubt they study their decisions that deeply, and they wouldn't seek to rock the boat like D-Wreck, so they stay. It's a problem they are selling their kid's childhood just as Joy's was sold by her parents, but I honestly doubt they think that hard about it.

[Daisy0322]

On 10/8/2018 at 7:48 AM, SapphireSlytherin said:

People move with infants ALL THE TIME.

 

Yes! Especially in the military. It's one thing if it was optional and Joy was struggling butvwe have no idea if she was ready to move or not. I personally don't like how he talks to Joy but I don't think he held a gun on her to make her move back in the RV. Honestly I don't think a baby in an RV would be too bad... I think it would be hard when Giddy is 2 or 3 maybe but still not impossible.  

[twoandthrough]

On 10/10/2018 at 8:40 PM, Daisy0322 said:

Yes! Especially in the military. It's one thing if it was optional and Joy was struggling butvwe have no idea if she was ready to move or not. I personally don't like how he talks to Joy but I don't think he held a gun on her to make her move back in the RV. Honestly I don't think a baby in an RV would be too bad... I think it would be hard when Giddy is 2 or 3 maybe but still not impossible.  

We're a military family who moved when our first was 6 months old.. that was tough but doable. We moved again when she was 2 and our second was 3 weeks old. THAT was really tough. We stayed in our camper during our drive, and sleeping was pretty miserable... but we were all out of our norm, so I figure it may have been better had the kids been used to it. We just moved again when our oldest was 3 and youngest was 10 months, also staying in our camper during our drive. (sleeping, not while driving, lol). That was the roughest one yet because BOTH kids were mobile. 

I never want to move ever again. Ha!  All were cross country moves. 

[Rio]

On 10/8/2018 at 3:47 PM, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

My big BEC is what the fuck is it with wearing hats in the house, the delivery room, the dining room table et all?  

My husband has had a dumb baseball hat on his head for the entire 24 years we have been together. He may take it off for church or a nice night out, that’s about it. 

We live in the Pacific Northwest. Often I have trouble finding him when we’re out because every other guy here is wearing one too. I just thank God my sons don’t wear them. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

The hat normally doesn't bug me, but I was more than a little surprised to see him wearing it into the operating room. I would have thought why didn't a nurse stop him and make him take it off, then I remembered, this is Arkansas, that probably wasn't even the stupidest thing they saw that day.

[SapphireSlytherin]

2 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

then I remembered, this is Arkansas, that probably wasn't even the stupidest thing they saw that day.

FUCK. YOU.

Stop slamming Arkansas for the behavior of a fundie asshole.

[Markie]

I’m glad in a way that Joy and Austin don’t have much of social media presence. She hasn’t posted on Instagram for almost two months. I would like to see how they’re doing, but I suspect I will have to wait until John and Abbie’s wedding to get a glimpse of the Forsythes. Hope she is not already pregnant again. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

17 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

FUCK. YOU.

Stop slamming Arkansas for the behavior of a fundie asshole.

That escalated quickly.

In all fairness I would have said this about Iowa as well (where I reside). I'm originally from Arkansas, my father grew up there, I lived there for many years. I know the state and there are a lot of ignorant rednecks in Arkansas, and Iowa, and pretty much every state in the country. In other words please take your butt hurt,  put some butt paste on it, and chill out, it was just a flippant remark, that could have been made about any state, but I chose the state Austin lives in.

[SapphireSlytherin]

6 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

That escalated quickly.

Actually, no. It didn't. 

It was beyond flippant. It was demeaning, ignorant, and totally unnecessary. 

Arkansas-slamming is a popular 'pastime' on FJ, and it's been addressed by many people here. This is not a forum for snarking on Arkansas. It's a forum for snarking on the Duggars and other fundies.

I am sick and fucking tired of defending Arkansas against its many erroneous stereotypes and prejudices that have been created/exacerbated by media/social media/rumors/etc. 

Again, I say:  Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Trying to explain it away just makes it worse.

[freshlemonade]

The hat in the delivery room drove me nuts too.  Especially because he had to put his paper jumpsuit thing and hair net hat on (sorry docs and nurses I have no idea what they're called) and then put the paper hat over his hat.  

But he was scared and on his way into the OR with his wife so on second thought now I feel bad about snarking on it (unless it was some kind of creepy I survived Roe v Wade type of hat).

 

[cascarones]

Some women wear a lot of scarves or big earrings. Some men wear a lot of hats or obsess over Jordans or I guess the Ball shoe line. It's an accessory. Baby Gideon will probably wear matching hats with dad and think it's the coolest thing ever.  

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

30 minutes ago, cascarones said:

Some women wear a lot of scarves or big earrings. Some men wear a lot of hats or obsess over Jordans or I guess the Ball shoe line. It's an accessory. Baby Gideon will probably wear matching hats with dad and think it's the coolest thing ever.  

True, most little boys with good fathers (and bad ones) love to emulate them and dress like them and he will think he's the shit if his hat is just like daddies. It is a normal part of growing up,  for many children to look up to their same gender parent.  I recall my son following behind his father at about 2 years old with his bubble mower while dad mowed the lawn, and then after, when dad was fixing the mower bubba had his little bubble mower tipped over on its side, just like dad did, he had his play tools and was "fissin" his "wan moto" or in adult speak, fixing his lawn mower.  My daughter had the same mower and the same tools to play with when she was two, but never did this with her father, she would just follow him around the yard picking dandy lions to give to him.

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

True, most little boys with good fathers (and bad ones) love to emulate them and dress like them and he will think he's the shit if his hat is just like daddies. It is a normal part of growing up,  for many children to look up to their same gender parent.  I recall my son following behind his father at about 2 years old with his bubble mower while dad mowed the lawn, and then after, when dad was fixing the mower bubba had his little bubble mower tipped over on its side, just like dad did, he had his play tools and was "fissin" his "wan moto" or in adult speak, fixing his lawn mower.  My daughter had the same mower and the same tools to play with when she was two, but never did this with her father, she would just follow him around the yard picking dandy lions to give to him.

Any toy that allows my daughter to mimic an adult is an automatic win with her. She loves her bubble mower, her shopping cart, her toy purse (and my real purse), toy cars, toy cellphone, the toy kitchen at the library, our actual kitchen equipment... it’s the cutest thing to watch her act like we do. 

[JordynDarby5]

3 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

True, most little boys with good fathers (and bad ones) love to emulate them and dress like them and he will think he's the shit if his hat is just like daddies. It is a normal part of growing up,  for many children to look up to their same gender parent.  I recall my son following behind his father at about 2 years old with his bubble mower while dad mowed the lawn, and then after, when dad was fixing the mower bubba had his little bubble mower tipped over on its side, just like dad did, he had his play tools and was "fissin" his "wan moto" or in adult speak, fixing his lawn mower.  My daughter had the same mower and the same tools to play with when she was two, but never did this with her father, she would just follow him around the yard picking dandy lions to give to him.

That's exactly how my nephew is. He does everything his dad does, follows him around. He rides bikes because his dad does, he has tools because his dad does, fishes because his dad does, has a toy lawn mower so he could mow lawn with his dad, he also just loves to push it around the yard (doesn't like the noise from it or he'd turn it on), he cleans just like his dad making sure to get corners, he talks like his dad, and dresses like him.  The only part he does with his mom is cooking, he had a toy kitchen so he could play cook in, he loves to help in the kitchen, warning people at the top of his lungs that the stove is hot so be careful. 

[cascarones]

I think it's adorable, there are some sweet photos of my dad in his flight suit and the three of us in matching ones. My poor dad shaved for years with a crowd of children, who couldn't quite understand why he could have a mustache and it didn't grow back just as fast as it went away. Probably delayed his morning quite a bit, because if you'd been really good you could help with the shaving cream part. Pretty sure they bought that stuff in bulk, because once you teach a kid how to work the can, you're screwed. 

I only mentioned Dad, because of the Duggar and Forsyth's strict gender role beliefs and my understanding is that it starts quite young. (Especially if they follow the Pearl method).

[AliceInFundyland]

I am not convinced Austin’s dad was terrible, like Jim Bob terrible. Yeah he was on that show. But like all reality crap there was staging. And he did in fact seem to make a bit of connect with his wayward kids when he had them help out. I appreciated his approach. He was steady and calm. You could see much of Austin in him. And, with just the two kids, it’s just a different upbringing, strict or Pearl or whatever,

Jury remains out for me as to his parenting style. I believe he got more love and attention than Joy. If they welcome her, that could be a nice thing, who knows.

[Mama Mia]

19 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

The hat normally doesn't bug me, but I was more than a little surprised to see him wearing it into the operating room. I would have thought why didn't a nurse stop him and make him take it off, then I remembered, this is Arkansas, that probably wasn't even the stupidest thing they saw that day.

Why would it matter if he had a hat on? If he has the scrub type hair bonnet ( whatever they are called?) on too- it will serve the same purpose. If he didn’t have the hair bonnet - a hat vs his own bare head certainly won’t make a difference germ wise. 

[nickelodeon]

16 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

Jury remains out for me as to his parenting style. I believe he got more love and attention than Joy. If they welcome her, that could be a nice thing, who knows.

I'm a bit more pessimistic. We do know (via that comment on the Fort Rock page) that Austin's parents used Pearl's child "training" methods, so we can be certain they were beating their children. For me, that makes them shit parents and shit people.

[jqlgoblue]

On 10/9/2018 at 1:01 AM, AprilQuilt said:

Totally, all good relationships require work. 

This is one of my biggest pet peeves in society in general. e.g. if it's work at all (especially for the guy) then it's not meant to be.

[TheOneAndOnly]

Everyone who knows me also knows my opinion about hats. They are outdoor clothing. Period. 

http://emilypost.com/advice/hats-off-hat-etiquette-for-everyone/

[Knight of Ni]

31 minutes ago, TheOneAndOnly said:

Everyone who knows me also knows my opinion about hats. They are outdoor clothing. Period. 

http://emilypost.com/advice/hats-off-hat-etiquette-for-everyone/

Thank you! I am constantly appalled seeing people eat at semi nice restaurants in baseball caps. Then again I also see people blow their noses at the table too. 

[VanillaBean]

On 10/19/2018 at 1:18 PM, VelociRapture said:

Any toy that allows my daughter to mimic an adult is an automatic win with her. She loves her bubble mower, her shopping cart, her toy purse (and my real purse), toy cars, toy cellphone, the toy kitchen at the library, our actual kitchen equipment... it’s the cutest thing to watch her act like we do. 

Mine was the same.  She even insisted on putting tampons in her purse?

[grandmadugger]

7 hours ago, TheOneAndOnly said:

Everyone who knows me also knows my opinion about hats. They are outdoor clothing. Period. 

http://emilypost.com/advice/hats-off-hat-etiquette-for-everyone/

I couldn’t believe that he didn’t take it off during the couple’s dinner. Because he didn’t do it for that I wasn’t shocked he didn’t in the hospital.