Joy and Austin 24

[Georgiana]

Reminds me a lot of how Priscilla was when she first married David Waller: very scripted, seemed very nervous/anxious/upset about possibly forgetting the script and not performing perfectly.  I think there's a large element of PERFORMANCE in the fundie idea of wifehood, and many newlywed women become stressed out when they aren't able to instantly start giving a perfect performance of the ideal fundie wife and mother.  The jump from SAHD to wife is actually a big one, but their culture downplays it and pretends like God will make it easy and perfect.  That's so not the case, and unfortunately fundie husbands are not incredibly encouraged to HELP their wives make the transition...so not all reach out and do so.

Pris and David have seemed to settle in together, but Pris herself admitted that the transition into married life was rough for her and resulted in a lot of tears at night due to feeling inadequate.  I hope Joy is doing better and is just over it.  

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, Georgiana said:

Pris and David have seemed to settle in together, but Pris herself admitted that the transition into married life was rough for her and resulted in a lot of tears at night due to feeling inadequate.  I hope Joy is doing better and is just over it.  

THIS! I think many of us are forgetting just how awkward, all the now married kids were at 1st.  I don't think Austin is controlling, I don't think she's unhappy with him or her choice, or he his, I think they are BOTH trying to adjust. You also have to remember that they are both used to having every moment of their lives controlled by their parents, these are people who weren't even allowed to pick out their own clothes, and now they are on their own and expected to be functioning adults.  Some of them have moved into it after a few bumps (Jessa & Ben) while others are still floundering (D&J). 

[SassyPants]

25 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

THIS! I think many of us are forgetting just how awkward, all the now married kids were at 1st.  I don't think Austin is controlling, I don't think she's unhappy with him or her choice, or he his, I think they are BOTH trying to adjust. You also have to remember that they are both used to having every moment of their lives controlled by their parents, these are people who weren't even allowed to pick out their own clothes, and now they are on their own and expected to be functioning adults.  Some of them have moved into it after a few bumps (Jessa & Ben) while others are still floundering (D&J). 

I think of all the couples Jessa and Ben have had the easiest time adjusting because they have had the most stable living conditions. Ben has been provided with a Duggar job, Jessa is the darling of CO and they've lived in the same place, close to family, for their entire marriage- compare that to Jill or Joy's reality-

[HereticHick]

Which of these Duggar couples had the redneck gender reveal with guns? I was thinking about it while reading about another gender reveal shoot-em-up gone horribly wrong: http://www.newser.com/story/265344/guys-gender-reveal-party-misfired-horribly.html

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

14 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Which of these Duggar couples had the redneck gender reveal with guns? I was thinking about it while reading about another gender reveal shoot-em-up gone horribly wrong: http://www.newser.com/story/265344/guys-gender-reveal-party-misfired-horribly.html

Joken, JD shot the blue powder.

[Carm_88]

I think part of it is that the awkwardness of Joy and Austin seems to be doubled, because Joe and Kendra do seem so comfortable.

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

Which of these Duggar couples had the redneck gender reveal with guns? I was thinking about it while reading about another gender reveal shoot-em-up gone horribly wrong: http://www.newser.com/story/265344/guys-gender-reveal-party-misfired-horribly.html

The first thing I thought of was Duggars. 

[BeccaGrim]

I am sorry but if my husband spent as much time talking about how much work being married to me (particularly in the first year!) that Austin does with Joy I would be wrecked.  I mean he isn't even trying to pretend he's happy on film. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

9 minutes ago, BeccaGrim said:

I am sorry but if my husband spent as much time talking about how much work being married to me (particularly in the first year!) that Austin does with Joy I would be wrecked.  I mean he isn't even trying to pretend he's happy on film. 

Seriously?  Ok, but marriage IS work, and the 1st year IS an adjustment especially in their situation, of never being alone, then add having a baby 10 months later. It isn't insulting, it is reality, Perhaps they had a hard time at first but have figured things out, they don't look miserable or sound miserable you can tell by the way he talks about her and Gideon he loves them both very much. People need to get over the fact that Austin & Joy aren't the mushy gushy people & remember these are not loquacious people, they don't have a large vocabulary and no real experience verbally expressing emotions, since they were never allowed to have any.  They are very matter of fact, simple people, doesn't mean they don't like each other doesn't mean they don't love each other, they just don't know how to express it in a more "normal" manor.

[VBOY9977]

Honestly I prefer Austin’s honesty about marriage over Jill’s #besthubbyever or the fundie favorite “I married my best friend!” 

We’re so used to fundies putting up a happy face for everything and being joyfully available and pretending their lives are amazing, so I think it’s refreshing to have some honesty. 

 

[DarkAnts]

Austin rubs me the wrong way when he tells Joy to ignore the pain, and moved the family to the RV while the baby was still quite young.

[SapphireSlytherin]

Living in an RV isn't difficult, baby or no.

[Shadoewolf]

Difficult no, different yes. For 2 adults and an infant it's really no big deal. They aren't the Rods after all!! It just requires a good sense of space and cleanliness. My FIL and his ex wife did it for a couple years in Florida. Good size 5th wheel with 4 slides and they built a deck onto it. Decent space for just the 2 of them. I wonder if theirs is a tow behind, a 5th wheel or an A class?

[DarkAnts]

14 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Living in an RV isn't difficult, baby or no.

Joy wanted to wait until the baby was a little older before selling the house. Austin insisted that they sell it when the baby was 2 months old. That is what rubbed me the wrong way. Austin ignores his wife’s request. 

[tabitha2]

But Not every request is feasible. We don’t know all the circumstances behind his decision I imagine. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

Austin may have had to move quickly to get the house on the market. These flipping shows only reveal a very glossy, abbrieveated version of what house flipping involves. The fact that they had to move with an infant is something I blame on JB and Michelle for demonizing contraception. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

8 hours ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

The fact that they had to move with an infant is something I blame on JB and Michelle for demonizing contraception. 

People move with infants ALL THE TIME.

 

[Nomorethanfour]

8 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

People move with infants ALL THE TIME.

 

This! We moved 4 times by the time my daughter was 3. We are a military family and move all.of.the.time. I didn't find it more stressful moving with an infant. That's probably the easiest time to move YMMV.

[AprilQuilt]

On 10/2/2018 at 6:53 PM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Seriously?  Ok, but marriage IS work, and the 1st year IS an adjustment especially in their situation, of never being alone, then add having a baby 10 months later. It isn't insulting, it is reality, Perhaps they had a hard time at first but have figured things out, they don't look miserable or sound miserable you can tell by the way he talks about her and Gideon he loves them both very much. People need to get over the fact that Austin & Joy aren't the mushy gushy people & remember these are not loquacious people, they don't have a large vocabulary and no real experience verbally expressing emotions, since they were never allowed to have any.  They are very matter of fact, simple people, doesn't mean they don't like each other doesn't mean they don't love each other, they just don't know how to express it in a more "normal" manor.

also, I think fundies are taught that marriage *is* work, that it's a Godly project to do with two people uniting as one, and contributing to one another's spiritual betterment as well as emotional/financial - there will be tricky bits. It's focal to their lives and belief system, and working on it is therefore a badge of honour rather than a whinge about how difficult the other person is.

Kids like Joy and Austin are taught that figuring out how to live with your spouse is an exercise in grace and humility, so his saying it's hard sometimes is a kind of witnessing.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

22 hours ago, DarkAnts said:

Joy wanted to wait until the baby was a little older before selling the house. Austin insisted that they sell it when the baby was 2 months old. That is what rubbed me the wrong way. Austin ignores his wife’s request. 

Oh yes, he should be taken out to the woodshed and flogged because he doesn't do everything she says. If he were a good husband he would only do what she wants, when she wants and how she wants because that is how a good marriage really works.

You need to stop taking those TH as personal marital conversations, remember these things are 1 day out of their lives, real choices they make regarding their family life are NOT made on the TLC couch in front of a film crew.

 

BTW, they moved 4 months after G was born, so she did get her way. I don't know why people are still harping on this.   

1 hour ago, AprilQuilt said:

also, I think fundies are taught that marriage *is* work, that it's a Godly project to do with two people uniting as one, and contributing to one another's spiritual betterment as well as emotional/financial - there will be tricky bits. It's focal to their lives and belief system, and working on it is therefore a badge of honour rather than a whinge about how difficult the other person is.

Kids like Joy and Austin are taught that figuring out how to live with your spouse is an exercise in grace and humility, so his saying it's hard sometimes is a kind of witnessing.

That and the fact that saying marriage is work, is the truth. I don't see the big deal in spouses saying "it is a lot of work, and an adjustment" when it is. I guess I don't need to have sunshine and roses blown up my ass to feel good about myself and my marriage.  I'm the 1st to admit my husband is a pain in the ass and drives me crazy some times. Guess what I'm also a pain in the ass and drive him crazy some times, we're humans its what we do. You just have to learn to live with the annoying things and focus more on the good stuff.

[Pecansforeveryone]

Yes, people move with infants all the time. Thank you for that. I was pointing out that their cult demonizes contraception which isn't Austin's fault. I will stand by that it might have been nice for them to have a year or two to themselves child free. They didn't use contraception which is their choice. I think Joy, Austin, and Gideon will be just fine. I actually give them big props for not being dependent on JB or seeming to live to have their children on camera. As far as fundies, I prefer them to other couples because of this. 

[Carm_88]

31 minutes ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

 I think Joy, Austin, and Gideon will be just fine. I actually give them big props for not being dependent on JB or seeming to live to have their children on camera. As far as fundies, I prefer them to other couples because of this. 

Gideon's birth was a special, he was on camera for that and then for the baby shower. I am sure that he will be on camera in the next season as well. I don't see how they are any different than any other of the couples. They're still selling his childhood.

[Pecansforeveryone]

Yes and that's really unfortunate. I just meant of the couples they seem the least dependent on JB/TLC. They seem less fame whorey than some of the other Duggars which is a low bar to set, I admit. 

[cascarones]

6 hours ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

. I just meant of the couples they seem the least dependent on JB/TLC. They seem less fame whorey than some of the other Duggars

I'm guessing this is in part based on social media presence? Kendra and Joe are quiet on that front as well, though their website is up and running. (Joy and Austin's is still parked). 

I don't see them as any less dependent on TLC, house flipping is not a reliable or secure source of income and is fairly seasonal. You put resources and time in and hope for a favorable outcome. The profits are variable and sometimes homes are sold just to get liquidity back to try anew.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

My big BEC is what the fuck is it with wearing hats in the house, the delivery room, the dining room table et all?