Dillards 65: Standard Cringe, New Atrocious Signage

[Fjrocks]

16 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Eh. Most schools have that "workload" policy. My college also "highly recommended" that nobody work more than 20 hours/week if carrying <15 hours. I generally carried 18-20 hours and worked two jobs (more than 40 hours/week) and I made it just fine. But then, I don't need much sleep and I test well. lol

Edit: 

1. No, I don't believe Derick has a real job.
2. You gotta do what ya gotta do, to survive - if that means working AND going to school.

    @SapphireSlytherin   I really liked this post, like genuinely.   It was a great counter to my post above and I acknowledge you are probably right.   Thanks for just making it a good discussion back and forth of hashing things out.   

     Thank you @SapphireSlytherin for being gentle on me, you are one of my favorite posters here.

    I agree with the last few pages it's easy to be harsh on the Dillard's social media but here are some of the things we have seen in the last year -  cyber-bullying of a transgender minor, bashing a gay couple adopting,  gofundmes instead of getting a job,  unexplained bruises on their children, promoting hitting kids with wooden objects,  stealing copyrighted content, dangerous stroller stunts,  and  filming sick children for YouTube content at 1 AM!!!

     That's not even all of it, those were ones I just thought of off the top of my head.    So I am less convinced they should be treated apples to apples to Jill's siblings, because they are using their platforms differently.   

  I agree sometimes when we snark it's a swing and a miss.  My personal take is I am more then able to let a few BEC slide for posters who have substantially contributed, they have earned it IMO and sometimes it leads to the best drift.  Anyways, that's just my take.

[Glasgowghirl]

I am far from a neat freak but I still don't post pictures with messes on social media. If you are in the public eye I'd scan pictures before uploading them. Jade from the new Teen Mom show posted a selfie and people could see a suspicious white powder on her counter. Jill is trying to post blogs on cooking and being a house wife so she should try to upkeep that. 

[AtlanticTug]

Derrick isn't doing anything more than your average person, in fact he's doing less.

But to be fair to Jill, compare to her brothers and brothers-in-law, it may appear that he, in fact, is more productive. Josh and Joe work at the car lot - a small, used car lot with not a lot of traffic or busy times. Do you really think they're putting in 40, 50, 60 hour weeks? Yarite. Ben, heaven only knows what he does and I still maintain that if he had a respectable 9-5 job we'd know about it. I don't but all these arguments of "employers don't want him to tell the Internets where he works" because it is completely unnecessary to name your employer in order to make clear what you do. "Hi, I'm Ben and I am a physiotherapist." No mention of what town/suburb, what clinic, etc. Jeremy is doing online study and is a pastor and judging by his travel schedule, he doesn't exactly seem like he's doing backbreaking labour. Hell he couldn't even be bothered to learn Spanish living and preaching in Laredo. Josiah? Jer/Jed? Which of these men around Jill "work" harder than Derrick? It's all the same shit, different name.

[Rachel333]

Honestly, I see non-Duggars praise their husbands for the exact same things all the time.

[HarleyQuinn]

I must have cynical friends, no one gets online to praise their spouse unless they are doing something different from their routine.  

[bella8050]

Most of my married friends have a rule of only posting one mushy/praising post a year about their spouse, for an anniversary, birthday, etc. They've all said they don't want to be "that couple" who people roll their eyes at. I only have one friend who still acts like her 16 year old self when it comes to relationships. I do roll my eyes at her posts because I know the guy she's gushing about one month will be the guy she's trashing in 2-3 months.

[Hashtag Blessed]

1 hour ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I must have cynical friends, no one gets online to praise their spouse unless they are doing something different from their routine.  

Seriously, publicly bragging about how wonderful your spouse is isn’t something I’ve ever felt the need to do. I don’t mind seeing mushy birthday or anniversary posts, they’re sweet as long as you’re not doing them all year long. In my experience, constant gushing is basically putting up a big neon sign that reads “I’m insecure and unhappy in this relationship!!” 

[Rachel333]

I saw one facebook friend post about how she was so grateful to have a husband who was willing to "babysit" their child for her for a few hours one Saturday. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

16 minutes ago, Rachel333 said:

I saw one facebook friend post about how she was so grateful to have a husband who was willing to "babysit" their child for her for a few hours one Saturday. 

Eyeroll is right.  As I used to tell my then husband, "it's not babysitting when they're yours.  It's parenting."

[DarkAnts]

On 9/20/2018 at 7:50 AM, Lizzybet said:

Whoa! Michelle blamed Anna???? This is the first time I’ve heard that.

During Josh gate, Michelle posted on the Duggar blog about the importance of being joyfully available for your husband at all times.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

6 minutes ago, DarkAnts said:

During Josh gate, Michelle posted on the Duggar blog about the importance of being joyfully available for your husband at all times.

She is truly a vile woman.

[just_ordinary]

This is very interesting to me. I am too raising eyebrows on people constantly gushing over their partners/kids/life (hello Erin). But on the other side, I myself would never post negative things on my own social media. Why should I if I don’t want to? There is no moral/ethical rule to „keep it real“ in my opinion. People with large followings don’t even know 1% of those followers. If I don’t keep it real with strangers on the street I definitely don’t have to keep real with strangers on the internet. People that don’t learn to make up their own minds about online presence and how it is only a curated glimpse need to grow up (isn’t that what you learn as a teenager?). 

I am truly unsure if Jill is overcompensating/ stroking his ego as a good wife is supposed to do in their circles or if she really thinks he is the best hubby ever compared to a lot of the men she met in her life. Probably a mix? Personal experience makes you evaluate things differently than others might do.

 I praise my husband for how perfectly he supported me in this pregnancy. While I think nothing he did was that out of the ordinary just what I think every partner should do, I stumbled about so many quotes, posts, articles, stories and mindsets (even here) about how men were not good into supporting their pregnant partner, how pregnancy is only a hard time for women and men are just useless etc. that it feels like he is much better than the majority of men. Rationally I know that it is probably not the case. But I never felt more part of a team with shared long term effort than while being pregnant and hearing about all those situations were this is obviously not the case makes him look much better in comparison. 

Additionally I think a “1 gushing post per year rule” is stupid. If you are not the one for gushing don’t, if you are do. (And my biggest question- why congratulate someone you actually see in person on social media anyway ???) If you are “that couple” in private don’t be afraid to be it in public. It doesn’t matter if people believe that it is all compensating/annoying or whatever. Who cares? My friends always joke about us because we are the VERY touchy couple needing more time together than most of them. Never maliciously though and it truly doesn’t matter. We are all grown ups and I can perfectly deal with others not liking or understanding why I do what.

And my last thought on this topic - now in regards to Jill: I think she can post as many bad pictures and ban people on her accounts as she likes. And we can bitch about it even if it is BEC and pure speculation. This is obviously not a business and I really don’t think she tries to make it one. I would definitely ban everyone who bothers me on my account because I don’t have to listen to „concerned/ well meaning“ or just mean or annoying strangers. Not in real life and surely not online.

[hethamahay]

Truthfully, I don't think Jill's overuse of #besthubbyever and #bestpapaever are deliberate attempts at rehabbing her husbands image or stroking his ego. She has been raised to not expect her husband to help around the house. The husband goes out and make the money while the wife stays home and takes care of the kids and wives shouldn't expect their husbands to help around the house even if they are sick, tired, overwhelmed, etc. It was this behavior that was modeled to Jill her whole life. When Michelle had her laundry room breakdown, it wasn't Jimbob that was jumping in to help fold towels, it was Michelle's friend. In the episode where Josie pooped her pants, all Jimbob did was pick her up and hand her off to a sister to clean up. Jimbob sure wasn't going to give Josie a bath and get her into some clean clothes. So when Derick does nice things for her, like cook a meal or reads to the boys, she probably believes that he is a great husband and father. It's hard to be disappointed if she has zero expectations.    

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, hethamahay said:

The husband goes out and make the money while the wife stays home and takes care of the kids and wives shouldn't expect their husbands to help around the house even if they are sick, tired, overwhelmed, etc.

Except when was the last time he was making money?  He's leaving early, coming home late, and it's costing money.

[SassyPants]

The Dillards are the only family without any reported income and with a tuition payment due. I think given their propensity/history of supporting debt free living, an explanation for how they financially survive and how they are financing law school is totally warranted. Since Derrick claims they were never paid from TLC and beyond a day or two of substituto teaching, there has been very limited income earned in years...Are they Bonnie and Clyde? IS leave and cleave more than an insider, family joke?

[hethamahay]

8 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Except when was the last time he was making money?  He's leaving early, coming home late, and it's costing money.

I guess I should have said "supposed to go out and make the money" but we all know Derick is not a job type person 

[Gobsmacked]

Just a thought but perhaps D wrecks father/grandparents left him an inheritance?

or, as has been suggested already, he really is blackmailing Good ole J-Bob in some way!! 

[Mama Mia]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

The Dillards are the only family without any reported income and with a tuition payment due. I think given their propensity/history of supporting debt free living, an explanation for how they financially survive and how they are financing law school is totally warranted. Since Derrick claims they were never paid from TLC and beyond a day or two of substituto teaching, there has been very limited income earned in years...Are they Bonnie and Clyde? IS leave and cleave more than an insider, family joke?

Student loans? Student loans and a pay-out /settlement from TLC to keep him from suing? - not that he’d have cause, but a $100k to f*off is less of a headache, and pocket change to them. Savings Jill has from years of being on the show / appearances etc.. Maybe he is paid to keep the books for the Duggar enterprises. ? Combo of some/all of the above ? If school is covered through loans - they could get by pretty cheaply. Are they living in a Duggar property? 

[SapphireSlytherin]

25 minutes ago, Mama Mia said:

Are they living in a Duggar property? 

They are not - they are living in the (apparently) church-owned duplex that they moved into when Derick went to "ministry skool" last year.

[Dandruff]

57 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

They are not - they are living in the (apparently) church-owned duplex that they moved into when Derick went to "ministry skool" last year.

Which is interesting.  Why are they still there?  Could it be that Derick, or Jill, is doing some work for the church but the church doesn't want it advertised?

[Gobsmacked]

Wouldn't they have to leave church house if Dwreck no longer a church student? Sounds odd if they are still there. 

[SassyPants]

Loans? Since when does a Duggar use loans?

[squiddysquid]

2 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

Just a thought but perhaps D wrecks father/grandparents left him an inheritance?

or, as has been suggested already, he really is blackmailing Good ole J-Bob in some way!! 

I don't think so. His father was a police officer, so definitely underpaid. And his mother just had cancer, people are usually broke after that unfortunately.

[nastyhobbitses]

I kinda want to start placing bets on Derick's new money-waster scheme after he graduates/flunks out of/gets bored of law school. I have a few possibilities:

Political campaign

Fucking off to El Salvador again

Fucking off to another country (money's on either Nepal or somewhere in Southeast Asia where he can live out his backpacker bum fantasies and continue to ignore his adult responsibilities)

Starting an inept family band

Pyramid scheme -- either getting into one or he attempts to start one

[front hugs > duggs]

I’ve made I think only one gushy post about my husband in our entire relationship. He signed up to do a half marathon with me day of the event with no training. I never would have finished without his motivation and was so grateful he ran it with me. 

It may be trivial in the grand scheme of things, but I thought our finish line pic together was worthy to gush over!