Dillards 65: Standard Cringe, New Atrocious Signage

[cascarones]

I understand Jill wants/ chooses to share things on social media and is trying to turn it into an income stream (FabFitFun showed that). Her sisters and friends do it well, but her husband managed to destroy a source of major income through the same medium. 

We talk about Jessa as a SM example for her, but she's tied to Derick and Cathy, who certainly sets the example of defending Derick online. I think it's very much ingrained in jill and reinforced by his mother's example that she just keep at it with social media. Even when it's clear the dumpster is on fire and the phones should probably be tossed it and left to burn. I had sympathy for all that Cathy had gone through until she came out and doubled down on supporting Roy Moore during the molestation accusations and wasn't even someone she could vote for. She put politics ahead of her daughter in law, chucking something Jill certainly wishes were behind her and left alone right back into the spotlight.

Jill can't see the posting boundaries and why people will raise eyebrows, because she was raised on tv and her family clearly has no respect for any boundaries she might hold about her own life.

 

[bella8050]

9 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I still question why Jill thinks this is a good thing to put on the internet. What in the world? She needs to start thinking "Would Jessa post this?" I would say that she's being that oversharing parent, but Derick isn't her child and it seems like it's him that she's trying to make look good.

Ding ding ding! For me this was another awkward video where Jill tries to make Derick look like a great dad but fails to see what's actually going on around her. Are Jill's standards so low that any interaction between Wreck and the boys are a positive to her, and something she should share? I don't see how a video of a kid being concerned over who is going to care for him in the morning, in case mommy doesn't wake up, is cute or funny, aka something you'd want to share with your followers. She is all Michelle in snickering while Wreck recounts what Izzy was saying. Zero empathy.

[Drala]

To be honest, I had to watch Jill's video several times to figure out what was going on.  There seemed to be a lot of mixed messages.  First, there was Israel expressing concern about who would take care of him in the morning, because "what if mommy doesn't get up?"; Israel talking about his father leaving to go to school, and D'Wreck responding with a non sequitur about Israel staying home to do school; then there was Jill & D'Wreck's exchange over what Israel was talking about, flavored with just a dash of quibbling over word choice; a sideways comment about a "lawyer in training making his case;" next came Jill's insistence on following Israel with the video camera after he said "bye" and left the room;  a Freudian moment about a checkbook (giggle), followed by Israel's reluctance to engage further while Jill presses for answers (quickly!) to questions about "what Papa does" for him.

Interesting family dynamics. There's clearly some anxiety in that family about D'Wreck's role.  It's not the most toxic environment imaginable, but it's also not something that demonstrates #besthubbyever #bestpapaever.  Jill's need to compensate for D'Wreck is so transparent, it's painful to watch.  I feel sorry for her because she has no clue as to how her social media clips on her family life come across.

[Dandruff]

17 minutes ago, Drala said:

Jill's need to compensate for D'Wreck is so transparent, it's painful to watch.

I think she may be confused since social media has largely worked for the Duggars.  Problem is, there are limits.  I imagine it's easy enough to ignore criticism if circumstances aren't too ugly and there are lots of leghumpers to provide positive reinforcement.  But Derick (IMO) went too far a couple of times (e.g. Jazz), then there's his mother, and I believe the negatives are now in the permanent memory zone...kind of like Joshley, who at least has the sense or the leash to stay in the background.

I'm sure that Derick is still determined to prove he's right, therefore Jill will continue trying to put the lipstick on (so to speak), and it will continue to #notwork.

[Jinder Roles]

15 hours ago, Elvis Presby said:

WWJP bracelets need to be a thing.

Someone needs to grift the funds to do so and then evangelize to the Dullards about the pitfalls of their social media.

Maybe Jill will even learn to season her food. 

Actually, stratch that. The  train wreck is more fun to watch. 

[EyesOpen]

I just... I’m trying to imagine Jill’s life. She was given no life skills, told her feelings didn’t matter when her brother molested heR, was used as a television prop for years then sold off to this guy for ratings.  Of course she thought it was wildly romantic and she was in love. She had literally no other experience to use to vet him and anyways, that was daddy’s job. Now here she is still with life skills or education with this dick of a husband and two little kids... I can’t imagine what must go through her mind. Is she unhappy? Could she even contemplate leaving? What if he totally derails and leaves her? I suppose she’d go back to daddy and probably be happier. How sad...

[HarleyQuinn]

I think like dWRECK, Jill mostly thinks about herself and what she can do to be worshiped. Why compete with female friends when your buddy team that you raised can be around to make you feel better about yourself?

I feel no sympathy for either aside from one sexual assault victim to another, which Jill will never take the time to comprehend because it was "mild inappropriate touching" and she was "asleep" and "2/3 of families deal with this."

[DarkAnts]

2 hours ago, EyesOpen said:

I just... I’m trying to imagine Jill’s life. She was given no life skills, told her feelings didn’t matter when her brother molested heR, was used as a television prop for years then sold off to this guy for ratings.  Of course she thought it was wildly romantic and she was in love. She had literally no other experience to use to vet him and anyways, that was daddy’s job. Now here she is still with life skills or education with this dick of a husband and two little kids... I can’t imagine what must go through her mind. Is she unhappy? Could she even contemplate leaving? What if he totally derails and leaves her? I suppose she’d go back to daddy and probably be happier. How sad...

I wonder if things would have been different if they did not start counting so soon after meeting in person for the first time. Or had a longer courting period before the engagement. Most of the other married adults had a long period of being special friends before courtship. Jill and Derick jumped in head first and were engaged within months of courting.  

[TeaELSee]

The number one thing that bothers me about that video is that Jill never says anything to try and reassure Israel that she will of course wake up with him and take care of him.

it is so odd, it seems like that would be an automatic response.

[Pecansforeveryone]

I do think the long distance courting hurt Derrick and Jill. While Jeremy and to a lesser extent Ben were less sheltered than their brides, they didn't have an international courtship. They had to deal with cameras and Jim Bob on a more personal level. They also didn't start a courtship in the midst of personal turmoil like the life threatening illness of a parent like Derrick did. I still wonder if Cathy had never had her health scare if Derrick and Jill would have ended up marrying. I think her health scare was the final push for Derrick to agree to a quick courtship and and quicker engagement.

[EmmieJ]

31 minutes ago, TeaELSee said:

The number one thing that bothers me about that video is that Jill never says anything to try and reassure Israel that she will of course wake up with him and take care of him.

it is so odd, it seems like that would be an automatic response.

Why is Israel concerned about whether mommy will wake up in the morning?  That was the first thing that came to mind when I watched the video.  That topic never came up when my son was little - he just assumed that I would wake up, probably because I always did.  Is Jill having trouble waking up in the mornings?  Has Israel been told to "be quiet because mommy is sleeping"?  I can certainly understand how exhausting it can be to have two young kids, one a toddler, but that's part of being a mom (in their belief system - moms do not work outside the home, they are focused on having babies and raising them - so wouldn't that include getting up every morning because that's your job?).  It was just an unexpected concern that it stuck out to me.

But the whole thing is just awkward and weird.  Why doesn't she see that?  Why post that video?  It wasn't funny, it wasn't cute, and it just raised a whole bunch of questions about their parenting.  

I keep waiting to see a video where one or the other parent shows actual real joy at spending time with their children.  I sure hope they stop at two because they really don't appear to enjoy this whole parenting gig.

[EmmieJ]

Just wanted to add that I just saw the video clip Jessa posted to her IG, where Spurgeon, Henry and Israel are playing on the slide together.  Now that's a cute video and all three boys look like they are having a great time.  Jill - take note, that's how you do "cute".  

In any event, I'm glad to see Israel has fun times with his cousins.

[Timetostoplurking]

I think part of Jill’s problem is that she is always putting Derk or herself in every video/picture.  If you are trying to build a social media brand about being a mom of two (for now) cute kids, then put out pict/video of the two cute kids!  Not Derk lurking around,  Or Unappetizing food etc...   Ugh!   

[justoneoftwo]

I think this is also a perception based on what gets posted here, because she doesn't always.

There was a really cute post about Israel and usps, but it didn't make it to fj. 

I am not a fan of Jill, and I expect she is unhappy and doesn't seem connected to her kids, but we also seem to look for that and are running into a confirmation bias issue.

[VelociRapture]

The aforementioned USPS post:

And a few more I’d consider decent posts:

Spoiler

Caption contains a clear explanation of what’s going on with Sam and it’s kind of adorable how he’s fast asleep on her lap. 

Spoiler

Izzy has the sweetest little grin and looks beyond thrilled that his brother plopped down on his lap. They look like normal little kids caught in a genuinely happy moment. Caption is short, to the point, and contains a normal hashtag. 

Spoiler

I’d argue this is one of her best recent posts. The photos are good, her expression in the first one is pretty funny, it shows Sam acting his age, and the caption clearly explains what’s happening. 

Spoiler

As the mom of a young kid, this one is ridiculously relatable. A few too many hashtags, but the post did make me chuckle a bit. 

Spoiler

Izzy has the cutest grin and looks like he was enjoying his time outside.

Spoiler

This one is just adorable. Seriously, look at that cute little grin! Lol!

Spoiler

And last one. They’re both smiling, look genuinely content, and the caption is relatable if you’ve ever witnessed a beloved child (your’s or not) grow up. 

I think the biggest problems with Jill are:

1. FJers tend to focus mostly on the crappy posts as @justoneoftwomentioned. That’s fairly understandable though considering the second problem...

2. Jill is wildly inconsistent with her posts. Her posts range from almost Jessa-level cute to almost passable to OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! It likely makes it pretty hard for posters to focus on the better posts when they’re immediately followed up with one where she’s suggesting a dangerous baby “hack” or posting something that blatantly shows her disgusting beliefs. 

3. And finally, people really hate Derick and for good reason. Unfortunately, Jill is married to him and insists on sharing posts featuring him, which just reminds people how much they hate everything about him. It also reminds people that Jill not only hasn’t spoken out against his hate, but that she very likely believes the exact same shit. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

I admit - I despise Jill and everything about her, so I give her no passes whatsoever.

I can't stand looking at her, and her social media presence is just in my feed to remind me that she's my least-favorite fundie.

Bless her heart. lol

[MarblesMom]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

Unfortunately, Jill is married to him

And in a covenant marriage, yes? So limited leaving/divorcing?

GF made her bed with this partnership.

[onekidanddone]

8 hours ago, TeaELSee said:

The number one thing that bothers me about that video is that Jill never says anything to try and reassure Israel that she will of course wake up with him and take care of him.

it is so odd, it seems like that would be an automatic response.

It is troubling to me that a three year old worries aloud on camera about his mother not waking up. Yet he did and Jilly muffins laughs at it and posts the thing for all the world to see. 

[MarblesMom]

Just now, onekidanddone said:

It is troubling to me that a three year old worries aloud on camera about his mother not waking up.

I posted a similar concern a page or two back.  WHY would the kid worry about this, unless it has happened before?  He would have no point of reference unless he had experienced it.

This is not going to end well, IMHO.

[Pecansforeveryone]

Covenant Marriage in Arkansas can have grounds for termination only on the following:

(1) The other spouse has committed adultery;

(2) The other spouse has committed a felony or other infamous crime;

(3) The other spouse has physically or sexually abused the spouse seeking the divorce or a child of one of the spouses;

(4) The spouses have been living separate and apart continuously without reconciliation for a period of two years (or two years and six months of a minor child is involved);

(5) The spouses have been living separate and apart continuously without reconciliation for a period of two years from the date the judgment of judicial separation was signed.

I bolded number 4 because I think that is the most likely scenario. However, I certainly don't think it's likely to happen anytime soon, if ever. I think Derrick is definitely unhappy in his roles as husband and father (and that's totally on him for the choices he made). However, I think he is distracting himself with law school and other "projects" and might be able to kill time this way for some years to come. The link for the website on covenant marriage in Arkansas is included below.

https://www.lesliecopelandlaw.com/divorcecustodyattorneylawyerfay

[emmeline]

I think another big difference between Jill and Jessa when it comes to social media is that Jessa has learnt what tends to work well and what doesn't. She copped a lot of (well deserved) push back earlier on, particularly when she kept comparing abortion to the Holocaust. She's learnt what works for her social media audience and sticks to that.

Jill hits the mark sometimes but doesn't seem to have that same ability to reflect on the response and adjust her approach. I also wonder whether she and Derick want the criticism, in a sense, because it feeds their religious persecution/'Christians are so hard done by' narrative. 

[Shadoewolf]

The covenant marriage thing is actually easy to dissolve. Move to any border state and live there for 3 months to a year (depending on the state) to establish residency and file in the new state. Easy peasy.

[Dandruff]

Covenant marriage or not, I don't think these folks believe in divorce.  Maybe they'd separate under some profoundly bad circumstances but I'm pretty sure they'd be expected to "work it out" (Derick chills, Jill works harder on her contentment) eventually.  

[Iamtheway]

9 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

As the mom of a young kid, this one is ridiculously relatable. A few too many hashtags, but the post did make me chuckle a bit. 

Miniway might have shared a couple of episodes of Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom to my Facebook ...

[ati_escapee]

7 hours ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

Covenant Marriage in Arkansas can have grounds for termination only on the following:

(1) The other spouse has committed adultery;

(2) The other spouse has committed a felony or other infamous crime;

(3) The other spouse has physically or sexually abused the spouse seeking the divorce or a child of one of the spouses;

(4) The spouses have been living separate and apart continuously without reconciliation for a period of two years (or two years and six months of a minor child is involved);

(5) The spouses have been living separate and apart continuously without reconciliation for a period of two years from the date the judgment of judicial separation was signed.

I bolded number 4 because I think that is the most likely scenario. However, I certainly don't think it's likely to happen anytime soon, if ever. I think Derrick is definitely unhappy in his roles as husband and father (and that's totally on him for the choices he made). However, I think he is distracting himself with law school and other "projects" and might be able to kill time this way for some years to come. The link for the website on covenant marriage in Arkansas is included below.

https://www.lesliecopelandlaw.com/divorcecustodyattorneylawyerfay

Ugh, why is this even a thing?! Isn't a regular marriage good enough? I live in Arkansas now but I got married in Missouri and Texas (because I'm a heathen who's been married twice) and I've never even heard of a covenant marriage.