Bro Gary Hawkins 8: F is for Felony and No Longer Funny

[Dandruff]

I've lost track of how many messed up motors he has needed to get fixed so he could travel and grift to pay for them.

[keepercjr]

Someone commented he was sending $100 via PayPal.  I will never understand how anyone thinks this guy is a good messenger for anything.

 

[PumaLover]

I'm also praying I have money by the first of next week, cuz I live paycheck to paycheck and need groceries. Who exactly are these people who are throwing hundreds of dollars his way!? And why!?

i remember those days back in the baptist church. We supported this missionary and that missionary. I never agreed with what they were teaching but the ex and I shared a bank account. So the missionaries we supported had child after child. Maybe I'm fucked up but I didn't know why I personally had to support that. I had no children and worked two jobs. Couldn't afford shit. Ex and I fought all the time. No wonder I drink.

When I die I hope whatever little money I have goes to help both homeless animals and children in foster care.

@keepercjr the wtf was not for you. Just in case you were wondering.

[Candydandy]

Ok folks looks like Bro’s Palpal account will receive a blessin of money for his motor. Now is this for the bus that we saw pictures of and were like ew and I hope the kids dont have to live in it? Or is it another bus they were blessed with? I think he also got a new(to him) truck veehicle. Are they done  selling jewerrly and toothpasta now? 

Sis Candy

[Carol]

Money is rolling in for a new motor in a shit bus that won't last longer than a few weeks.

Jesus, those donors are imbeciles!

[mango_fandango]

That first sentence is such a fucking slap in the face to people who actually WORK for their money.

GET A PROPER FUCKING JOB GARY YOU LAZY SONOVABITCH

[thoughtful]

On 11/8/2018 at 1:24 AM, MarblesMom said:

Perhaps this is the beginning of G-Haw learning basic skills like counting and fractions.  Pieces of money should keep him busy for a long while, as he tries to figure it all out.

Perhaps someone was even clever enough to put them thru a jigsaw puzzle type cutter.

This was my first thought, as well. Perhaps something educational:

https://apps.mathlearningcenter.org/money-pieces/

or just:

 

 

[Texas Heifer]

9 hours ago, thoughtful said:

This was my first thought, as well. Perhaps something educational:

https://apps.mathlearningcenter.org/money-pieces/

or just:

 

 

@thoughtful, this legitimately caused me visceral pain when I read "genuine shredded currency."

 *collapses, weeping*

[mango_fandango]

Jesus is alive and well, folks!! 

 

[clese]

On 11/10/2018 at 6:41 AM, mango_fandango said:

That first sentence is such a fucking slap in the face to people who actually WORK for their money.

GET A PROPER FUCKING JOB GARY YOU LAZY SONOVABITCH

K commented I was praying for him to get a job. .he deleted it..

On 11/9/2018 at 8:03 AM, griffin said:

He's asking for prayers and someone replied "praying you get a job". LOVE it!

Glad you saw it before it got deleted! !

[PumaLover]

OK folks, this was a gifted.

You know what Bro Gary is? Not gifted.

[ChickenettiLuvr]

My two cents says --

The first church that ask him sing & speak, quickly realized their grievous error. And gave two deacons benevolent fund 520 pieces of money to shut him up & get him out. Literal hush money. 

The next church caught wind bro Gary was head they way & sent more piece money to keep him driving.

As to the palpal donor's motivation-- I've got nothing but suspicions. 

[AliceInFundyland]

There’s a thread title: G is for (Not) Gifted

[FullOfGravy]

33 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

There’s a thread title: G is for (Not) Gifted

Followed by H is for Haymayun and Hallelooyer, I is for Illiterate, J is for Joory... there's a whole alphabet's worth of Bro Gary thread titles if he provides enough snark material.

[Ex 2x2]

Ok folks, I’m new to Bro Gary, and I howl everytime one of you starts your post with ok folks. 

Do I want to go back to the beginning and read it all? 

[AliceInFundyland]

3 minutes ago, Ex 2x2 said:

Ok folks, I’m new to Bro Gary, and I howl everytime one of you starts your post with ok folks. 

Do I want to go back to the beginning and read it all? 

I don’t know about all the way back. At least a few threads. You need some perspective on the humorous and the truly awful parts of Bro,  He is such a a bumbling baboon that we set his dangerous elements to the side while we snark.  But they are there and need to be absorbed.

[Ex 2x2]

I just saw the part where he posted a toilet. No explanation. Just a pic of a toilet. 

I cannot!! ???? Are we sure he’s for real and not a parody or something???

[Dandruff]

1 minute ago, Ex 2x2 said:

I just saw the part where he posted a toilet. No explanation. Just a pic of a toilet. 

I cannot!! ???? Are we sure he’s for real and not a parody or something???

He's not a parody, but he is something.  Still not sure what, though.  

[ChickenettiLuvr]

To @Ex 2x2 --

Yes. Most definitely. Start at the first bro Gary thread & work forward. It gives the framework for what we do.

Sis Chickenetti 

[Texas Heifer]

7 hours ago, Ex 2x2 said:

Ok folks, I’m new to Bro Gary, and I howl everytime one of you starts your post with ok folks. 

Do I want to go back to the beginning and read it all? 

Oh yes, yes, read it all. Find the first post about him in the JRod threads and read that, too.

You will not regret it. Gary is truly unique.

[Four is Enough]

4 hours ago, Texas Heifer said:

Oh yes, yes, read it all. Find the first post about him in the JRod threads and read that, too.

You will not regret it. Gary is truly unique.

I will warn you to read it with the mind of a hillbilly, so you can understand(ish) the dialect he writes.

I will warn you, if you have a sensitive stomach, to read it on an empty stomach, because the food photos contain colors NOT found in normal cooking or plating.

I will warn you to listen to the videos with the sound turned way down because loud is hard to stomach.

Call me if you get in trouble! I'll come and rescue you! Hallelooyer! Good Preachin'! Good Weens!

Sis Four

[Ex 2x2]

I’m on part 2. Someone just said they were late to the weens, and I spit my drink. 

So many cliffhangers. Will he get the RV?? (I think he’s grifted a couple hundred towards it at this point.) Will he convince us all that halloWEEN is ebil?? Will we ever find out why he posted a pic of a toilet??? Will he ever learn about sausage gravy and biscuits?  (Cause that’s some good weens right there!!)

[griffin]

holy c^*p they are caterwauling live right now

[keepercjr]

1 hour ago, griffin said:

holy c^*p they are caterwauling live right now

Are you Facebook friends?  I can’t see it

[griffin]

It's deleted! We are not friends (perish the thought). Could he possibly have the self-awareness to know how horrific it was?

Didn't anyone else hear it??