Jump to content
  • Sky
  • Blueberry
  • Slate
  • Blackcurrant
  • Watermelon
  • Strawberry
  • Orange
  • Banana
  • Apple
  • Emerald
  • Chocolate
  • Charcoal
VaSportsMom

Bro Gary Hawkins 8: F is for Felony and No Longer Funny

Recommended Posts

Wine time!
PumaLover

OK folks, does this guy have anything better to do than just make bad videos all the time? @Carol is right on–looks like he's on a boat, and I'm starting to feel a little seasick. 

It's a great day to be borned again, blah blah blah. It's a beautiful day for the Lord to come back. Are you ready to go to heaven? He repeats this about forty more times.

He's been thinking about salvation and losing your salvation. (I think he covered that ad nauseam in the last video.) Jesus. Haymayun. Jesus has his salvation. Hope you know that you know x4 that Jesus Christ is in your heart. Last report he got from the storm down on the coast, it was up to 36 people. He went to his doctor's office yesterday and the news blew something out of proportion. A young lady, it was her fault that her baby drownded. I guess she was driving down the road and water overtook the car. She couldn't get the baby out. (That's really sad). He goes back to the 36 people that died. You can't judge people. How many of the 36 went to heaven and how many went to hell. For the ones who went to hell, how many times had they rejected the gospel of the Lord?

People was told to evacuate. Some of them stayed. I guess some of them ended up being all right. A 68 year old man, they told him he needed to get out and he refused. That was thursday. On Sunday he tried to  get out on his moped and he drownded. You need to listen to the security guards. We need to listen. Some people didn't want to leave their property. Well you died and now you have no property.

OK listen, he's fixin to make a point, to drive one home. We got a lot of people (he stumbles over his words and I'm not sure what he's saying.) Get out of jail, get out of hell? I think. Accept Jesus. Repent. Nope, I'll wait awhile. I'll be all right. Nobody ever goes to bed thinking tomorrow I'm not going to be here. The good thing about that infant baby that died, it's called life. He could only imagine what that lady feels. She probably isn't sleeping  too well. He doesn't know nothing about the mother. That infant will not have to go to hell. (This bothers me in so many ways!)

He tells a rambling story about his uncle being in heaven with his daughter and he laughs. Well glory Hallaluyer. Sometimes God tries to get your attention. Back to the storm. He's rocking in the recliner. People blame God for the storm. He says, you're gonna blame God for you living on the ocean when you know what could happen? He's going to Texas next month. It could be tornad-er season. He doesn't know. He lived in South Dakota for five years and they had a blackout. Somebody give him an amen!! 

36 people. How many went to heaven, and how many went to hell? If they can find the bodies, they must know where they're at. His phone is chiming and he's about to cut this short since the phone is dying. (Aw bummer). We need to be thinking about God. Souls are going to hell every day. He's trying to save people by telling them the gospel and handing out tracts. The end.

So… I'm not really sure what the point of all that was. Get saved, I guess?

  • Upvote 4
  • Haha 1
  • Thank You 9
  • Love 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FullOfGravy

@PumaLover thank you for sacrificing your time and brainspace, haymayun.

55 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

That infant will not have to go to hell. 

I'm sure that will comfort the poor mother.  You know, as long as she's prone to Andrea Yates-level delusions.  Jesus, Gary.

 

1 hour ago, PumaLover said:

He lived in South Dakota for five years and they had a blackout.

Which is comparable to major flooding and tornadoes...?  I understand that people can and do die in blackouts, but to most of us, they're more of an inconvenience. 

 

1 hour ago, PumaLover said:

36 people. How many went to heaven, and how many went to hell? If they can find the bodies, they must know where they're at.

Is he suggesting that you can look at a corpse and tell whether its soul is in heaven or hell?  Or is he just jumping between disconnected thoughts?  Seeing as it's Bro Gary, I'd believe either one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MarblesMom

And... he's live again.

Looks like a different shirt.

He just said Jesus wrote the Bible.  Again.  I think he really believes this.

Oh shit, he's SINGING.

And all music is evil.  Cept his version, apparently.

.... then he got really, really angry.... and it sort of scared me a bit.  I think he has a side he tries to hide, not well, mind you, that is... ugly.

Edited by MarblesMom
more thoughts
  • Upvote 6
  • Thank You 6
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Carol

1003371488_ScreenShot2018-09-21at5_20_41PM.png.c87ecaa6237c71fdd62297f8f376288f.pngOK folks, I seriously think Gary is messing with us.  I think he done gone out and buyed a teeny, tiny little toupee to place on top of his big, fat head.  He's stylin and still bobbin.

  • Upvote 1
  • Haha 10
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Black Aliss
On 9/17/2018 at 2:02 AM, FullOfGravy said:

Now that's interesting.  I don't know any really hardcore fundies, but went to school with kids whose families were what I'd call fundie-lite.  Without exception, they were all opposed to Sunday shopping.  Some would still go to restaurants after church (because making waitstaff work on the Sabbath is fine, but not retail employees?), but the stricter families wouldn't set foot in any business.  

We still had blue laws in the part of the country where I grew up. The laws did not apply to restaurants, though, and it was okay for Good Christians to go out to eat, as long as they didn't tip their server because to do so would only encourage her to continue to work on Sundays. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FullOfGravy
4 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

it was okay for Good Christians to go out to eat, as long as they didn't tip their server because to do so would only encourage her to continue to work on Sundays. 

Oh, people who use religious hypocrisy to justify being cheapskates are fun.  Did they leave tracts in place of tips too?

You just know that if all the cooks and servers refused to work and the restaurants had to close on Sundays, those Good Christians would throw a fit over it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tired
Dandruff

There once was a fundie called Bro

Who was grifting wherever he'd go

He'd preach up a scene

For a dish of good ween

Or a veehickle needing a tow

  • Upvote 1
  • Haha 12
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



×