Josiah and Lauren Part 11: The Baby Watch Continues

[Iamtheway]

On 9/14/2018 at 1:37 PM, Queen said:

I saw the thread title and thought "So she has already announced she's pregnant? Why do (almost) all the Duggars get pregnant so fast?" 

But apparently no news yet? I haven't watched their wedding so I don't know the context, but are they even allowed to say "if we have children", aren't they supposed to say they want as many as possible? Anyways, she'll probably be pregnant soon if she isn't already. 

I've been thinking a lot about the black and white thinking that you discussed in the last thread and realized I used to see especially alcohol and drugs but also to some extent sex as either or. My somewhat conservative Christian upbringing did only fuel that. I thought you'd get drunk of very, very little alcohol and was very afraid of drinking anything for the longest time, not even wanting to take a sip or eat liquor filled candy. I thought the options were either 100% abstinence or getting absolutely hammered, becoming addicted to it and passing out on park benches in the middle of the night. To be fair my country has a problem with alcohol, we don't take a glass of wine with dinner like civilized Europeans, we drink to get drunk and alcohol related crimes are a big problem here. I've seen my fair share of drunk people in public throughout my life and they used to scare me. I thought if I drank any alcohol I'd be like them. 

But as I've grown up I've gotten a more relaxed approach, I usually drink something at parties and it doesn't make me a bad person. I joke around that I drink more at one academic dinner party (1-2 beers, 1 glass of wine, 1 shot of vodka) than the rest of my family drink in a year, and still I'm not a big drinker, especially not when compared to other students. The alcohol culture at our university might not be the healthiest... It is interesting though how I used to see drinking or smoking as a moral failure and something I'd never do. I also thought people would pressure you or even force you to drink/smoke/take drugs but that has never happened to me. Furthermore I unfortunately used to see myself as better and more moral than the other teenagers because I didn't drink, didn't have sex etc. Sigh. (Also it's easy to not drink when your unpopular ass is never invited to a party, and easy to not have sex when you are not attracted to the opposite sex at all and they were the only real opportunity the small, conservative bubble I used to live in.) 

I’m as heathen as they come, but I have never smoked or drunk alcohol. Not even when I was the only sober 17 year old at parties did I feel pressured by my friends. They’d ask but not pressure. People that didn’t know me that well probably thought I was drunk any way. 

I don’t want to be drunk though. I think it comes, partly, from a fear of loosing control. I’ve seen how alcohol can change you and I want to be me at all times. I even refused the gas while giving birth because I read it was a bit like being drunk.

Sometimes I wish that I could appreciate a glass of wine but I also really dislike the taste of everything with alcohol in it. And I don’t see the point of drinking stuff that tastes horrible when I could just have water.

[Scrabblemaster]

16 minutes ago, Iamtheway said:

And I don’t see the point of drinking stuff that tastes horrible when I could just have water.

I do this with cocktails. I drink the non-alcohol cocktails preferably because they taste that much better without alcohol and I can drink more than one. 

I like the taste of wine, red or white, so I do drink wine. I learned a lot about wine in the last years, due to Mr. S, his family, and new friends, it's interesting for me that I have an opinion about wine I don't mind to share. I figured out that I like spanish wines more than italian wines, that really surprised me. A couple of weeks ago I had a 10 minutes conversation with someone I just met, just about wine. I was baffled that I had that much knowledge or opinions to discuss. 

[3splenty]

30 minutes ago, Iamtheway said:

I’m as heathen as they come, but I have never smoked or drunk alcohol. Not even when I was the only sober 17 year old at parties did I feel pressured by my friends. They’d ask but not pressure. People that didn’t know me that well probably thought I was drunk any way. 

I don’t want to be drunk though. I think it comes, partly, from a fear of loosing control. I’ve seen how alcohol can change you and I want to be me at all times. I even refused the gas while giving birth because I read it was a bit like being drunk.

Sometimes I wish that I could appreciate a glass of wine but I also really dislike the taste of everything with alcohol in it. And I don’t see the point of drinking stuff that tastes horrible when I could just have water.

I'm a lot like you!  My other big thing was that I never understood the draw of it.  Now with my health issues, alcohol is a really big no-no.

My husband is a recovering alcoholic who is coming up on one year sober.  Being down that path has really opened my eyes as to the lengths people will go to protect their loved one (the alcoholic) so they can save face.  Or they use religion to make the non-alcoholic spouse and kids seem to be the crazy ones.

Our kids are still scared when someone drinks.  They've lived that hell.  But slowly, and with lots of counseling and other help, this Mom can proudly say they've made great strides.  Our whole little family has.

I should add that my family and I are heathen Lutherans. 

 

[CatholicLite]

4 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

I’m as heathen as they come, but I have never smoked or drunk alcohol. Not even when I was the only sober 17 year old at parties did I feel pressured by my friends. They’d ask but not pressure. People that didn’t know me that well probably thought I was drunk any way. 

I don’t want to be drunk though. I think it comes, partly, from a fear of loosing control. I’ve seen how alcohol can change you and I want to be me at all times. I even refused the gas while giving birth because I read it was a bit like being drunk.

Sometimes I wish that I could appreciate a glass of wine but I also really dislike the taste of everything with alcohol in it. And I don’t see the point of drinking stuff that tastes horrible when I could just have water.

My father's an alcoholic and the whole idea of drinking terrifies me. The idea of losing control, like you said, is a big part of it, but also I don't want to end up like my father. It actually really weirds me out how nonchalant my sisters are about drinking.

[Shadoewolf]

My grandmother, mom and uncle were alcoholics. As abusive as my mother was, I swore I would never be like her so I rarely drink. Hubby is in recovery from drugs/alcohol so we keep a TINY bottle of wine for cooking only and Youngest's Adderall is locked in a box and hidden. My inlaws actually really pissed me off right before they left this week because Hubby's mother couldn't respect his sobriety and kept insisting day after day that one beer wouldn't hurt. Even after he had said no multiple times. I have a Reds apple ale once in a great while and never when I'm sad, angry, or stressed so as not to form a habit.

[Pecansforeveryone]

I wish society did a better job of acknowledging that alcohol is a potentially dangerous, even deadly drug. Yes, it's a drug, so let's own that. If we did maybe people would feel more supported in refusing it if they wanted to. I have no desire to bash moderate drinking. I fervently wish that were more celebrated as the norm, rather than drinking to get drunk and really just lose all control of who you are.

[DillyDally]

New instagram post:

 

[Italiangirl]

 

she looks tired to me, maybe morning sickness? or just bad rest?

[justmy2cents]

45 minutes ago, Italiangirl said:

 

she looks tired to me, maybe morning sickness? or just bad rest?

I don't see tired. I see fresh faced, no make-up.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

She does look a bit different in the face. Maybe she's less makeup than usual? They're roadtripping, so she's probably more casual than we've seen her on the show.

They look happy, or possibly a bit baked.

[Pecansforeveryone]

I am actually kind of happy to see them doing a road trip. They do need to be able to spend time alone together. Shame it can't happen, oh you know, before they actually get married. I will shake my head at that till the day Rufus takes me home.

[Iamtheway]

On 9/16/2018 at 6:35 PM, CatholicLite said:

My father's an alcoholic and the whole idea of drinking terrifies me. The idea of losing control, like you said, is a big part of it, but also I don't want to end up like my father. It actually really weirds me out how nonchalant my sisters are about drinking.

My husband also has alcoholism in his family and he is really careful with how much he drinks. Some people are more likely to get addicted and it can be genetic. 

It’s great that you’re taking care of yourself! ❤️

[MadameOvary]

They look ready to escape. Let this be a one-way "roadtrip" the hell out of there.

[feministxtian]

On ‎9‎/‎16‎/‎2018 at 5:27 AM, 3splenty said:

My husband is a recovering alcoholic who is coming up on one year sober.  Being down that path has really opened my eyes as to the lengths people will go to protect their loved one (the alcoholic) so they can save face.  Or they use religion to make the non-alcoholic spouse and kids seem to be the crazy ones.

Sending you hugs. My hubs is 4 years clean and sober. 

If you want to talk...

[Shadoewolf]

FJ Al-Anon! Always here for my sisters and brothers! 

ETA: That's not a huge camper. Woot!

[Baxter]

My father is also a recovering alcoholic. He has been sober now for 20 years with one minor relapse after a health scare. While my mom tried to shelter me and my sisters from most of it, there was some bad stuff that happened especially right before he went away for treatment. I have only actually shared a very bare bones version of all of this with my husband because it's really too painful to talk about. I would say that my family is in a good place now. But it does leave scars on a person.

I rarely drink. Neither of my sisters drink much either because we are all very aware of the potential consequences. I personally think that most drinks don't taste good and I think that it is probably for the best that I don't develop a taste for them. It really bothers me when people have made fun of me because I don't want to have a drink or think that I am uptight because of it. I don't really feel like sharing my whole family history with anyone, nor should I have to do so. Alcohol is a drug. People should realize that. I'm not against moderate drinking. My husband will have a few drinks and that is fine. But I think people brush off the potentially life damaging effects of alcohol.

I also wonder how I will impress this upon my son eventually because he will not have lived through that trauma and there is definitely a genetic link to alcoholism on my dad's side. Both my dad's mother and sister were also alcoholics although no one in his family would ever acknowledge that. My mom was the only reason that he got treatment.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

FJ Al-Anon. You guys must need extra snacks and crafty distractions to survive boring ass Counting On episodes.

[3splenty]

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

Sending you hugs. My hubs is 4 years clean and sober. 

If you want to talk...

Thank you!  Hugs to you, too!

[MoonFace]

12 hours ago, Italiangirl said:

 

she looks tired to me, maybe morning sickness? or just bad rest?

Maybe she was just being joyfully available. 

[JesSky03]

20 hours ago, Shadoewolf said:

FJ Al-Anon! Always here for my sisters and brothers! 

ETA: That's not a huge camper. Woot!

Is there a forum for this on FJ? I've been thinking about going to meetings myself but its hard since I work full-time and when I'm not working I am always watching my 7 month old and I don't have family in town. My husband would support me going (he's the alcoholic) but I don't trust leaving him alone with the baby at this point. Anyway, finding an online support group would be great. 

[Lurky]

I wonder how they're getting on rattling around that huge house, and whether staying in a caravan for a bit will feel more homely.

It's such an odd way to start their married life, living in this huge place where they know they are essentially caretakers, until the place can be flipped.  It seems really sad to me, that Josiah goes from the shared boys' bedroom to living in a property his dad owns and can sell at any time, where they presumably can't decorate it in their own style.  I feel the same way about Joy, too, living in houses they're doing up to sell on. 

It seems like a big deal to me because it's in the context of both of them never even having their own rooms to decorate, furnish and enjoy.  Even living in crappy cheap rented student and post-student accommodation felt fantastic because it was my space, and then my space with my partner, and we could decide where to put the shelves, what kind of lampshades to get, and could really be happy with bargains that might not look the nicest, but were symbols of the homes we were building. 

It feels like JB is keeping his sons on very, very tight leashes, much more than his daughters.  I wonder if it's worse to be Joe and Kendra and living on the compound, with all the family feeling they can pop in at any time, but at least having their own home, or Josiah and Lauren, who will have even fewer rights than renters.  I guess it's better than having to live in the apartment in the furniture warehouse, and for normal couples, it could be a great opportunity to save for their own place - but this is the Duggars, and I can 100% see JB taking Josiah's rent out of whatever he's paid by the family company.

At least Josiah and Lauren have the caravan.  I hope I'm wrong, and they're not bothered at all at their situation.  Of course I hope they can escape, too, and build a life that's even a little bit less enmeshed.

[BunnyBee]

Lauren has made all of her boards, except one, private!
HI LAUREN 

[seraaa]

24 minutes ago, BunnyBee said:

Lauren has made all of her boards, except one, private!
HI LAUREN 

Fair enough, to be honest  

[3SecondSideHugger]

On 9/17/2018 at 5:24 PM, Baxter said:

My father is also a recovering alcoholic. He has been sober now for 20 years with one minor relapse after a health scare. While my mom tried to shelter me and my sisters from most of it, there was some bad stuff that happened especially right before he went away for treatment. I have only actually shared a very bare bones version of all of this with my husband because it's really too painful to talk about. I would say that my family is in a good place now. But it does leave scars on a person.

I rarely drink. Neither of my sisters drink much either because we are all very aware of the potential consequences. I personally think that most drinks don't taste good and I think that it is probably for the best that I don't develop a taste for them. It really bothers me when people have made fun of me because I don't want to have a drink or think that I am uptight because of it. I don't really feel like sharing my whole family history with anyone, nor should I have to do so. Alcohol is a drug. People should realize that. I'm not against moderate drinking. My husband will have a few drinks and that is fine. But I think people brush off the potentially life damaging effects of alcohol.

I also wonder how I will impress this upon my son eventually because he will not have lived through that trauma and there is definitely a genetic link to alcoholism on my dad's side. Both my dad's mother and sister were also alcoholics although no one in his family would ever acknowledge that. My mom was the only reason that he got treatment.

I grew up in the same family situation. During high school, I only really told 2 friends and that’s because they also had parents in the same situation. I’ve brought it up a couple of times with my husband, but no details because it was such a bad time to even try to speak words about it is hard. I’ve never had any make fun of me or pressure me about it though. 

It seems like all of it happened lifetimes ago. Similarly, me and my sibling that were young and at home for it all hardly ever drink. My siblings that were not home during those years have no problem drinking regularly. The memories are very painful and took several years to move past. Hugs

On 9/17/2018 at 5:47 AM, DillyDally said:

New instagram post:

 

When are they ever too busy?! lol! Hardly a job and like minimal real life obligations...

[BernRul]

On 9/17/2018 at 6:44 AM, justmy2cents said:

I don't see tired. I see fresh faced, no make-up.

I was never going to say this becasue it doesn't matter, but when other posters commented on how beautiful Lauren was I was scratching my head. I didn't see it at all, to the point where she looked unattractive to me. But I don't like judging people for their looks, so I never said anything.

But now I see it. She looks gorgeous in this picture, and I think it's because she isn't wearing make up/ that much make up. She's a natural beauty.  I guess I just didn't like her make up style.