CNN: Why Men are In Trouble

[desertvixen]

We believe in a concept called Equally Shared Parenting, where both parents choose to share equally in the domains of child care, house work, breadwinning, and time for self.

I think this sounds awesome.

What I don't like about these "but what about the men???" articles is that so many of the men quoted feeling sorry for themselves and lamenting the horrible state of the feminist world seem to have an attitude of "if I can't be the hero all the time and have people admiringly praising my every move, then it's not worth doing anything, so I didn't do anything, and now I'm stuck - and it's all YOUR fault, because you wouldn't put your own concerns on hold and censor your own abilities to fawn all over me and boost my ego constantly."

Well... F that.

This, completely. It's just like when men doing a parenting job get a gold medal, when for women it's just expected.

I care about being a good wife and mother. To me, however, that involves working. Anyone who thinks that mothers who work don't worry about their families, their homes, and a million other things.

[dormouse]

It's funny that they equal video games with immaturity. Men have always had their "toys", way before video games. Even in the idyllic 1950s. My grandparents married in 1952, both aged 22. Until the early 00's when they moved into a nursing home, my grandfather would spend the fall and summer months hunting or fishing, and the winter months in the basement, building stuff. Some men play hockey or soccer. Why blame it all on video games? Everyone is entitled to a hobby, and if chosen hobby is video games, then so be it. It's no different than hockey, hunting, fishing, fixing up old cars... well, except the level of physical activity, of course.

[MerryHappy]

I don't love that Bennett uses the success of women as the barometer for the failure of men.

[Joykins]

It makes me so angry when they say that women are "concerned about their careers". They just want to keep their job so they can feed their family and keep a roof over their heads: it takes two incomes to live in the 21st century. Even if you say that you'll be frugal, rent a 2-bedroom apartment, bike everywhere you go, cook everything from scratch, it now takes 2 incomes just to make rent. Many women would stay home if they had the choice. Just like I'm sure many men would. And many people of both genders would go crazy staying home all day and prefer working.

It's not a bad thing to be concerned about your career.

That whole article, I was thinking, "Why are you saying this like it's a BAD thing?"

The fact that people don't have to stay in unhappy, soul-destroying marriages can be a good thing.

Now, I don't deny there's an issue in that men don't actually seem as well-adapted to our society as women do, but the answer isn't to stuff women back barefoot into the kitchen.

[desertvixen]

Now, I don't deny there's an issue in that men don't actually seem as well-adapted to our society as women do, but the answer isn't to stuff women back barefoot into the kitchen.

Except here's the crazy thing: they pretty much set up society. As said upthread, "straight white male" is still considered the standard, and the rest of us are not. This is NOT a society that is dominated by women. If they can't stand the competition and/or can't be bothered to act like responsible adults who understand that actions have consequences, I am not going to shed any tears for them when they get left in the dust.

Especially when there are still SO many sexual double standards in our society.

A man of quality is not threatened by a woman seeking equality.

[emmiedahl]

My anthro prof said that there is not and to her knowledge has never been a society dominated by women. In some cases, women are equal, but that is about as good as it gets. :(

[Mompom]

I wonder if the idea that some men are perpetual children is what used to be known as "confirmed bachelorhood". Personally, most men I know have "manned up" so to speak and the women I know have "womanned up". I know very few of these menchildren, if any. The one person I do know that might fall into that category is a full time employee at Microsoft as a programmer. It's just that he plays video games or card games with all his free time and eats pizza every night. LOL. But to me, he isn't juvenile because he is completely independent in all ways. It's not like he's living in his parent's basement or something.

I detest the battle of the sexes, and honestly how can men REALLY be in trouble if we've never even had a female president?

[Austin]

I wonder if the idea that some men are perpetual children is what used to be known as "confirmed bachelorhood". Personally, most men I know have "manned up" so to speak and the women I know have "womanned up". I know very few of these menchildren, if any. The one person I do know that might fall into that category is a full time employee at Microsoft as a programmer. It's just that he plays video games or card games with all his free time and eats pizza every night. LOL. But to me, he isn't juvenile because he is completely independent in all ways. It's not like he's living in his parent's basement or something.

I detest the battle of the sexes, and honestly how can men REALLY be in trouble if we've never even had a female president?

It seems like playing videogames is really, truly some sort of measure of adulthood to a lot of people, meaning that they don't consider people that play them adults. So if a young man who is otherwise responsible plays video games, he must be stuck in adolescence, in other words.

I think that this may be somewhat generational. Most people my age and older did not grow up with that kind of technology. Neither my husband or I play video games and it just isn't something I personally would enjoy, but I don't look at it as any different than playing cards or going bowling or whatever passed for fun back "in the day". Why it seems to be a measure of adulthood is beyond me.

[LilMissMetaphor]

Kelly at GC posted this in August:

Men are the most targeted and hated group that exists. They are open game and no one dares to protest. They “got what’s comin’ to ‘em†after all, right? My Dad recently commented that almost every commercial and sitcom on TV utilizes the public’s seemingly favorite past time–â€dufus-male-watchingâ€.

If we want proverbially castrated men, we’ll do it while their [sic] young. They won’t know the difference by the time they’re grown and then they’ll fill their “hardly necessary†role as breadwinners and procreators.

And one of the first comments is: "I can’t begin to quantify the amount of men that sit around watching tv or playing video games, ignoring their families, and making snide remarks… everything they’ve been told their “worthless selves†are only good for! It’s hard to inspire a man to be a leader in a home, church or community when they have no reason to step up while getting beaten down… especially by women."

So the reason that men are sitting around playing video games is because the women made them do it.. :roll:

[Confused_by_religion]

And one of the first comments is: "I can’t begin to quantify the amount of men that sit around watching tv or playing video games, ignoring their families, and making snide remarks… everything they’ve been told their “worthless selves†are only good for! It’s hard to inspire a man to be a leader in a home, church or community when they have no reason to step up while getting beaten down… especially by women."

So the reason that men are sitting around playing video games is because the women made them do it.. :roll:

Oh god. "If men fail, women caused them to fail." What a bunch of irresponsible whiners.

[Katiebug]

I wonder if the idea that some men are perpetual children is what used to be known as "confirmed bachelorhood". Personally, most men I know have "manned up" so to speak and the women I know have "womanned up". I know very few of these menchildren, if any. The one person I do know that might fall into that category is a full time employee at Microsoft as a programmer. It's just that he plays video games or card games with all his free time and eats pizza every night. LOL. But to me, he isn't juvenile because he is completely independent in all ways. It's not like he's living in his parent's basement or something.

My brother is 26 and single, and he does play video games and eat pizza a lot. He's also been living independently since he was 18 and enlisted in the military. He's still in the service and hasn't found someone to share his life with. He dates and plays the field and is in no hurry to settle down and start a family. It doesn't make him immature to feel like he's not ready to marry and have kids, and it doesn't make him immature to use his free time to enjoy certain hobbies. We do joke that he's a confirmed bachelor but that's mainly because it is somewhat unusual for an enlisted guy to be 26 and single.

We're not big into video games but we were born in '79 and '81 so we grew up having Atari and Nintendo and you can only play so much Super Mario World before it gets dull. :lol: We have a Wii and play Mario Kart and bowling on it from time to time after the kid has gone to bed, but that's about the extent of it. We've never gotten into the MMORPGs or whatever they're called.

I'm not really super concerned about my career, but if I was I don't think it would be the end of the world. I work because I have to and I happened to pick a major in college that is in-demand and compensates me reasonably well for my time and efforts; I actually don't get much personal satisfaction out of what I do and plan to make a fairly significant career change in the next decade. We need both of our incomes to support our family the way we want to so it's unavoidable. I agree with whoever said that Bennett's mistake in this article is using women's success as a barometer of failure for men. Success is not a zero-sum game and if men are choosing not to launch into what ostensibly constitutes a "successful life" then that doesn't mean it's because women are getting uppity and won't be barefoot and pregnant. :roll: