Lori Alexander 52: Looking for Debt-free Virgins Without Tatoos

[Koala]

So a break down of Lori's reasons not to get a tattoo:

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I do know that I have never wanted a tattoo and when I was growing up, we knew that tattoos weren’t for godly women.

"Lori doesn't like it" does not = It shouldn't be done

"Lori thinks it's ungodly" does not = The Bible says it's ungodly

You know what the Bible really frowns on?  Gossip.

But back to what I was saying.  

Reason #1 to avoid tattoos:

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(Leviticus 19:28). Yes, this verse is from the Law which we, as believers in Jesus Christ are no longer under

That's exactly right, and you've written extensively about how you do not want to be put under the law.

In 2015, Lori wrote a post entitled: "Please STOP Living Under the Law!"

She wrote:

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Many Christians still believe they are under the Law. I am going to try to convince you that we are NOT under the Law and are freed from it in Christ. 

In another post, Lori writes:

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I have learned to major on the majors and give grace on the minors. Let others do what they feel led to do...Show grace and love.

Of course, this was a post explaining why it's okay for her to celebrate Halloween, and if you say otherwise, you're trying to put her under the law!

In another post, she writes:

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NO, Christians are NOT under the Law. 

Finally:

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no one is going to convince me that I live under the Law. Christ died to free me from the Law and the punishment of the Law and I intend to stay in the freedom the Lord provided for me! No one's going to put this baby under the Law!

For clarity, NO ONE puts Lori under the law, but the law is her #1 reason others shouldn't get tattoos. 

Make sense?  Good.

Reason #2 to avoid tattoos:

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Secondly, women are commanded to be “shamefaced” (1 Timothy 2:9) and modest which means to do nothing to draw undue attention to ourselves. Tattoos draw attention. 

Other things that draw attention:

Make-up: Lori wears it

Jewelry: Lori wears it

Hair dye: Lori uses it

Ear piercing: Lori has her ears pierced

Blogs/books/social media: Lori can't get enough!  Did she mention that she went VIRAL?!  Because she did.  Twice.  Lori went VIRAL.  TWICE!!!!!

"Paying some money" to boost your posts on Facebook: Lori does it to get more attention for her "controversial" posts.

Reason # 3

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We are also commanded to be discreet. Discreet means “wise in avoiding errors or evil; cautious; wary; not rash; reserved; showing good judgment in conduct.” Before we take any action, especially something like getting a tattoo, we must carefully consider if this is being shamefaced, modest, and discreet as the Lord has called us to be. Is it showing good judgment?

Lori's post on tattoos, virginity, and debt was the very definition of unwise.  The fact that she won't let it go, is a clear example of her not being modest or shamefaced.  She is trying to garner attention.

[refugee]

Yup, @louisa05, sounds about right. I once listened in silent wonder to a humble bragging conversation (contest, more like) about submitting. The woman who won recounted how she didn’t even do the grocery shopping solo—her husband drove, and they walked the aisles together, and he read labels and considered unit pricing information and basically told her and the kids what to put in the cart. She planned the menus (with his input) and made out the grocery list, but he controlled what they bought.

My dh observed to me later, when I told him about the conversation, that it must be exhausting to be the husband of such an incredibly submissive wife. Not the blessing Lori would make it out to be.

[HoneyBunny]

7 minutes ago, refugee said:

Yup, @louisa05, sounds about right. I once listened in silent wonder to a humble bragging conversation (contest, more like) about submitting. The woman who won recounted how she didn’t even do the grocery shopping solo—her husband drove, and they walked the aisles together, and he read labels and considered unit pricing information and basically told her and the kids what to put in the cart. She planned the menus (with his input) and made out the grocery list, but he controlled what they bought.

My dh observed to me later, when I told him about the conversation, that it must be exhausting to be the husband of such an incredibly submissive wife. Not the blessing Lori would make it out to be.

I cannot imagine living like that. There is no God in a heaven who wants me to live like that.

ETA:  thank you again Koala for your perfect summary about what Lori says about The Law. It infuriates me (as so much of what Lori says seems to be doing lately) that The Law it intermittently used as a hammer (homosexuality) or dismissed. How can these people think these are lessons to live by?

[refugee]

Just now, HoneyBunny said:

I cannot imagine living like that. There is no God in a heaven who wants me to live like that.

I watched the first episode of The Handmaid’s Tale last week. That grocery store scene... the pictures on the cans because women weren’t supposed to read...

It brought back that conversation to me, of the husband reading the labels. This woman was an intelligent, articulate woman!

I have to shake my head. ”Fundy” does not automatically equate to low IQ, no matter what it looks like to outsiders. So I still don’t understand how women with an otherwise good brain buy into the lifestyle. (Self included.) And what is so spiritual about ignorance, to cultivate it and elevate it to equate holiness?

(I’m getting that it’s all about control. Took me awhile.)

[polecat]

9 minutes ago, refugee said:

I watched the first episode of The Handmaid’s Tale last week. That grocery store scene... the pictures on the cans because women weren’t supposed to read...

It brought back that conversation to me, of the husband reading the labels. This woman was an intelligent, articulate woman!

I have to shake my head. ”Fundy” does not automatically equate to low IQ, no matter what it looks like to outsiders. So I still don’t understand how women with an otherwise good brain buy into the lifestyle. (Self included.) And what is so spiritual about ignorance, to cultivate it and elevate it to equate holiness?

(I’m getting that it’s all about control. Took me awhile.)

It's about control, but it's also easier for some people. They may have had rigidly authoritarian parents or anxiety or something else that holds them back when it comes to decision-making. So opting into a lifestyle where you don't even have to decide what clothes to wear or how to fix your hair (long, duh, and in a braid or bun!), for example, can sound super attractive. Especially since it's Jesus-approved, too. The rules make everything easy: You don't have to weigh your options, think for yourself or make any potentially bad decisions. And if something doesn't turn out quite right, well, God's will, of course!

But then again, maybe that's control, too, just in a slightly different way.

[klein_roeschen]

21 minutes ago, refugee said:

Yup, @louisa05, sounds about right. I once listened in silent wonder to a humble bragging conversation (contest, more like) about submitting. The woman who won recounted how she didn’t even do the grocery shopping solo—her husband drove, and they walked the aisles together, and he read labels and considered unit pricing information and basically told her and the kids what to put in the cart. She planned the menus (with his input) and made out the grocery list, but he controlled what they bought.

My dh observed to me later, when I told him about the conversation, that it must be exhausting to be the husband of such an incredibly submissive wife. Not the blessing Lori would make it out to be.

I doesn't sound exhausting to me, more like intense control of the wife. That way, he didn't even need to give her money, because he's with her and pay's the groceries. So no possibility of swiveling money away for a potential escape. I had more freedom at 6 years old, when my parents send me to the grociery alone to get milk. I can't even in my nightmares imagine to live that way by freely.

[louisa05]

25 minutes ago, refugee said:

Yup, @louisa05, sounds about right. I once listened in silent wonder to a humble bragging conversation (contest, more like) about submitting. The woman who won recounted how she didn’t even do the grocery shopping solo—her husband drove, and they walked the aisles together, and he read labels and considered unit pricing information and basically told her and the kids what to put in the cart. She planned the menus (with his input) and made out the grocery list, but he controlled what they bought.

My dh observed to me later, when I told him about the conversation, that it must be exhausting to be the husband of such an incredibly submissive wife. Not the blessing Lori would make it out to be.

A former student of mine from Christian school posted a long bragging post about how amazing her husband was one time. The topic: he had made a detailed daily schedule including times, activities, chores, breakfast and lunch menus for her and their two school aged kids covering the entire summer. She was "so blessed". And I after I nearly vomited, one of my many thoughts was the same thing: how exhausting and time consuming for him to have to do that when there was another adult who should have been able to handle it. 

I was a summer nanny for the same family for three years. I made the plans for most of the kids' schedules, daily activities, when they would do their chores, and even had about 90% control over our lunch and breakfast menus. And I was not the mom. I was an EMPLOYEE. But the parents lived by the insane notion that the adult doing it all should have  some control. 

[Hashtag Blessed]

58 minutes ago, Hisey said:

It can be effective to come up with a standard phrase and repeat it -- verbatim--each time she offers advice. Something like, "Thank you, that's my business." Or simply don't respond at all.

I second this @EowynW when my mom decides to give us unsolicited advice and “guidance” (and it is always unsolicited because we never ask her advice for anything) my go-to phrase is “Thanks, I’ll look into that.” It makes her feel satisfied and gets her to back off without starting a fight. And I don’t ever have to actually look into anything because she doesn’t actually care if the advice is helpful, she just wants to be the one to tell us what to do. So there is usually little to no follow up on her part.

Also, I feel obliged to say (as a tattooed, educated, sluttish woman) that I love my tattoos. I love the wisdom I’ve gained through sexual experiences (plus all the fun I’ve had) and the knowlege that I aquired in school. AND I’m happily married. Lori can keep her crappy advice to herself. No one should aspire to have the shriveled, bitter, self-centered life that she’s made for herself. She’s such a hateful shrew. If her soul was a Disney cartoon it would be one of the Poor Unfortunate Souls of Ursula’s sea cave. 

Is it bad to wish that a sea witch would steal Lori’s voice? At the very least steal her ability to blog? That would be a kindness to the world.

[TeddyBonkers]

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Is it bad to wish that a sea witch would steal Lori’s voice? At the very least steal her ability to blog? That would be a kindness to the world.

YOU CALLED?

 

[nokidsmom]

15 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Just look at her and ask her if SHE is paying y'alls bills. The correct answer is "no". Then politely (or not) tell her to mind her own fucking business and leave you alone. 

Hmmm, this sounds very similar to something I used.  I  would remind them of the other version of the "golden rule" which is "he who pays the bills, makes the rules".   When my folks paid my bills, they could make the rules (something they would remind me when I wasn't towing the line) but since I now paid  my bills, I now make the rules.  

TBH, it didn't happen a lot but when my mom got on a roll (and out of control), it worked every time.  Wasn't very happy about it, but her being happy was not the idea.

[Koala]

Lori:

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women are commanded to be “shamefaced” (1 Timothy 2:9) and modest which means to do nothing to draw undue attention to ourselves

Excellent advice. 

Here's an outfit from the "shamefaced" line:

You'll notice it's very loose fitting and flowing.  The necklace is worn to ensure that no one's attention is drawn to the wearer.  The hair dye is NOT a big deal.  Lori just doesn't like hair grown God's way (which in her case, would be gray).

Moving on...

This outfit is from The Discreet Mentor's modest line:

Lori is very clear that low cut tops are unacceptable.  This is a great example of a modestly cut shirt.  You can't even see the navel!

[Frumper]

Whenever this education thing comes up I think about one of my mom's cousins.  There were 2 boys and a girl in the family.  When they got out of high school in the 60s, the boys were sent to college and the girl wasn't.  The decision wasn't a religious one, it was more of a "why would you pay to educate a girl since her husband will take care of her?" kind of thing.  Anyway, 50 years later she is still extremely bitter about it and is just really angry about how badly she feels she was treated by her parents when compared to the boys.  Now maybe she'd have been a bitter and angry person no matter what, but I often wonder how much those sexist expectations of her parents affected her personality for the rest of her life.  It's hard to believe that there are apparently parents today who still have this attitude, and I feel so bad for the girls who may end up as angry adults who will regret what might have been.

[nokidsmom]

21 minutes ago, Frumper said:

 The decision wasn't a religious one, it was more of a "why would you pay to educate a girl since her husband will take care of her?" kind of thing.

My late best friend ran into this when she was out of high school.  She was one of two girls btw.   She wanted to go to college but parents were of this same attitude.   She went anyway but had to fund it herself.  She managed two years of working plus going to school plus being saddled with household chores.  After two years of getting shit for why she was going to school, she abruptly left home, living in her car for 4 days before moving in with her then boyfriend/future husband's family.  She ended up quitting school but resumed many years later earning her degree.  But....she always spoke of those days with some degree of bitterness toward her parents' attitude even though she did succeed in getting her degree.  I think it might just have been disappointment that her own parents could be so unsupportive.  

[delphinium65]

Since Leviticus 19:28 seems to be the clobber verse for tattoos, let's see if Lori lives by the rest of the chapter:

Give peace offerings, and don't eat from it after the third day (verse 7)

Don't reap the corners of a field, allow the poor and strangers  to have it, i.e. helping those in need (9-10)

Don't be a talebearer (16)  I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU, LORI!  

Don't allow cattle to gender with other kinds-only purebred animals, no hybrids!, don't mix seed in a field, and don't use linen and wool in the same garment (19)

Don't eat from a fruit tree for the first three years, then in the fourth give it all to God (23-25)

Don't eat blood, so no red juices draining from the meat before cooking-it doesn't say cooked blood is OK, don't you think if that's what God meant he would say so? (26)

Treat strangers with kindness (33-34) 

I haven't included all of the verses, just a few that stood out to me.  So, Lori...are you doing all of those? If not, why? Do you hate God and his perfect ways? 

[feministxtian]

27 minutes ago, nokidsmom said:

Hmmm, this sounds very similar to something I used.  I  would remind them of the other version of the "golden rule" which is "he who pays the bills, makes the rules".   When my folks paid my bills, they could make the rules (something they would remind me when I wasn't towing the line) but since I now paid  my bills, I now make the rules.  

TBH, it didn't happen a lot but when my mom got on a roll (and out of control), it worked every time.  Wasn't very happy about it, but her being happy was not the idea.

I used that on my kids..."The Golden Rule"...she who has the gold makes the rules. First national bank of mom closed some years ago now. I used to also tell them to check the fairness clause in their life contract. 

I was such a smart-ass...well, then again, they learned smart-ass at mama's knee. 

[Koala]

Lori talks about having wisdom and showing good judgement. 

From today's post (on tattoos):

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 I had never even thought about it much until my viral post. 

All of this division, over a topic Lori had given little thought to.  A topic that she wrote about, because she wanted to draw attention to herself (so she could go VIRAL).

In a post entitled, "Don't Argue Anymore", Lori wrote:

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It took me a long time to stop arguing...

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 I practice not arguing and I'm becoming very good at it. 

And yet Lori has argued endlessly over a topic that is of no biblical significance.

In a post about forcing our opinions on others, Lori wrote:

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 I don't want to debate my husband or others in a way that tells them that I am right and they are wrong. 

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simply give your opinion and then leave it there. It's good to allow others, especially our husbands, to have the last word. 

Leave it, huh? Anyone want to guess how many times Lori has written about tattoos/the reaction to her tattoo post in the last 8 days?

Blog- 3

Instagram- 5

Facebook- Countless

She WILL NOT let it drop, even though she admits she's never even given it much thought.  Today's post was a desperate attempt to find scripture to back her original post.  

Finally, in 2016, Lori wrote:

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 Women shouldn't be arguing over issues that have no eternal significance like organic or not organic, vaccinations or no vaccinations, public school or homeschool, sleep training or co-sleeping, spanking or not spanking, etc.

For the last 8 days, Lori's Facebook, blog, and Instagram have been filled with strife and division because of Lori's unwise post.  She has her readers tearing each other apart over a matter that has NO ETERNAL SIGNIFICANCE.  And she loves it.  And she paid to have it boosted, so more arguing would ensue.  She literally pays for controversy.    

This stunt has done nothing to further to gospel, and it is not an example of loving others (the second greatest commandment.  

You know what I'd like to see Lori write a post on?  This verse:

Proverbs 6:16-19

These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

 

[cindyluvs24]

I am reminded of the line from "Legally Blonde",

"She 's not completely unfortunate, but she needs some mascara.  And some serious highlights."

 

Add a quart of estrogen and vodka and we might see some progress.  I bet she secretly yearns to be on the beach in a thong during Spring Break getting tons of attention from the guys.  She never did, never thought she could, which is why she sold herself short in the marriage department and over the years it's festered.  The quasi-religious crap she spouts just gives her a safe space to express it. 

She needs to go to a cowboy bar and ride the mechanical bull.

[EowynW]

She's limiting comments on her instagram now. Only to followers. 

[Koala]

What timing...

I guess Lori just isn't a mature believer in Jesus Christ.  Her recent fruits are division and strife.  They are her constant companions.  

Lori, I sure wish you loved God and His perfect ways.  Don't you believe the Bible when it says that God hates he that soweth discord among the brethren??

[SilverBeach]

Do you think Lori grasps, in even a tiny way, that her debt-virgin-tatoo post went viral because it is ridiculous, and people are having a great time making fun of it? It is absolutely nothing to be proud of.

[onekidanddone]

Jews aren’t supposed to get tattoos because, Adonai and I’ve talked to people think Jews shouldn’t get one because of the tattoos given to Jews in the death camps (that’s holocaust centers for you Spicey).  

That didn’t stop my cousin from getting one to honor her late father. I keep on thinking I want one but I can’t think of what. I thought I’d get one on my mastectomy scar but am still too chicken 

[HoneyBunny]

5 hours ago, Frumper said:

Whenever this education thing comes up I think about one of my mom's cousins.  There were 2 boys and a girl in the family.  When they got out of high school in the 60s, the boys were sent to college and the girl wasn't.  The decision wasn't a religious one, it was more of a "why would you pay to educate a girl since her husband will take care of her?" kind of thing.  Anyway, 50 years later she is still extremely bitter about it and is just really angry about how badly she feels she was treated by her parents when compared to the boys.  Now maybe she'd have been a bitter and angry person no matter what, but I often wonder how much those sexist expectations of her parents affected her personality for the rest of her life.  It's hard to believe that there are apparently parents today who still have this attitude, and I feel so bad for the girls who may end up as angry adults who will regret what might have been.

This was exactly the situation in my mom’s family. One girl (her) and four boys. The boys got college educations. My mom got married at 20. At nearly 90, I can tell she still is sad about her lack of higher education (though I think it is the only thing about which she really harbors resentment...she’s a generally happy person). But my dad was against college for anyone, male or female (he was a very pro union, learn a trade type). And my mom was so damn submissive in all things that, though I clearly had the potential to do well in college, they wouldn’t even fill out the financial aid forms (nor allow me access to their tax returns) to allow me to get help. 

It seems every generation has the opportunity to be bitter about something. 

[feministxtian]

We have tuition reimbursement where I work. Someone please convince me that I DO NOT need to go working on a degree at my age...

[TeddyBonkers]

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Don't eat blood, so no red juices draining from the meat before cooking-it doesn't say cooked blood is OK, don't you think if that's what God meant he would say so? (26)

It's all coming together-that's why she was so pissed that @Kenate steak! He didn't order it cooked to shoe leather- I'm sorry- WELL DONE- and so it had blood in it. And that's one of those "pick and choose Leviticus verses" that Lori loves so much.

As opposed to Peter's vision of the sheet in Acts, where God says that all animals are 'clean' for consumption.

[feministxtian]

3 minutes ago, TeddyBonkers said:

He didn't order it cooked to shoe leather- I'm sorry- WELL DONE- and so it had blood in it. And that's one of those "pick and choose Leviticus verses" that Lori loves so much.

If it doesn't MOO when I stick my fork in it, it's overdone. Sear the outside, warm up the inside...yum yum