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Coconut Flan

Chelsy and John Maxwell 5; Pregnant, but Still Waiting to Read about the Honeymoon

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Unimpressed
Coconut Flan
Posted (edited)

Continued from here:

 

Edited by Georgiana
title change after merger

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Mischievous
nelliebelle1197

We are never going to read about a honeymoon. I doubt Chelsey even knows what the words to describe what happened.

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Unimpressed
Palimpsest
11 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

We are never going to read about a honeymoon. I doubt Chelsey even knows what the words to describe what happened.

When we left off, Chelsy had described her wedding in 8 long, excruciatingly detailed, and very picture heavy posts.  They had done a fake exit from the reception only to return 15 minutes later for a secret goodbye to their beloved families.

But she threatened us with two more wedding posts.  All we have left now is the honeymoon and triumphant return to Maxhell as no-longer-virgins.

 I deeply fear that she does intend to describe the honeymoon in equally flowery terms.  I hope I don't have to reach for the brain bleach.

So, taking bets.  Did they spend their honeymoon:

a.  In Colorado.

b.  Doing "ministry."

c.  At the property of an (unidentified) friend in an (undisclosed) place.

d.  All of the above.

e.  None of the above. 

f.  Oh, FFS, they went to Vegas.

 

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Lisafer

I'm kinda hoping she describes the wedding night. It's got to be good for a laugh, anyway. I mean, I've been forever scarred by reading Michael Pearl's disgusting account of his consummation, so how bad could anything be after that?

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Jana814
Just now, Lisafer said:

I'm kinda hoping she describes the wedding night. It's got to be good for a laugh, anyway. 

That would so funny to read. 

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Coconutwater

It’s obvious that Chelsy wanted a summer wedding, but I think it was probably more John not wanting to wait and Chelsy and John were probably tired of Steve’s rules and the fact that all of John’s phone and any media they contacted through were being read. Plus John was more than likely ready to get the hell out of that house and start his life the way he wants. 

I really hope she does post about the honeymoon, I need a good laugh. 

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Lisafer
13 minutes ago, Coconutwater said:

It’s obvious that Chelsy wanted a summer wedding, but I think it was probably more John not wanting to wait and Chelsy and John were probably tired of Steve’s rules and the fact that all of John’s phone and any media they contacted through were being read. Plus John was more than likely ready to get the hell out of that house and start his life the way he wants. 

I really hope she does post about the honeymoon, I need a good laugh. 

I'm sure you're right about them not wanting to wait any longer, but I would absolutely not be surprised if John had a *ahem* burner phone that Steve didn't know about, so that he could contact his lady love without his parents creeping on his messages. 

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Lgirlrocks

She said that she is going to do a post about how she made her wedding dress. Not sure if it’s included in the wedding post or not. 

I Dont think she will describe anything more than the destination if she does a honeymoon post. 

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SolomonFundy

I'm wondering if the trickle of long-winded wedding posts is rooted in an effort to time things so that she can post the very last one as the prelude to a baby announcement. That would explain the oddly paced, kind of delayed transmission of posts since it seems that she didn't conceive 15 minutes after John saw her collar bones for the first time. She may have expected to get pregnant quickly, started the posts with a general timeline in mind, only to have to start and stop and extend the project to keep the plan alive.

 

 

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ladyamylynn

Reset the clocks, it's officially been zero days since an argument about wedding food! Truly an evergreen topic in these parts.

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Tangy Bee

Wait...!?! You mean Steve has the same CRAZY phone rules as JB? John has been a grown ass man for a while now. That is just  TOO weird and controling.  

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Lgirlrocks

The Bontrager’s won’t post about their courtship rules. They say that each couple gets to make up their own rules. How sad would it be if Chelsy was allowed to be alone with John and have private phone conversations but John wasn’t allowed either. Chelsy has never been consistent with her blog post. Unless she is doing a weekly thing it’s always speratic. 

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Captain Obvious
9 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

When we left off, Chelsy had described her wedding in 8 long, excruciatingly detailed, and very picture heavy posts.  They had done a fake exit from the reception only to return 15 minutes later for a secret goodbye to their beloved families.

But she threatened us with two more wedding posts.  All we have left now is the honeymoon and triumphant return to Maxhell as no-longer-virgins.

 I deeply fear that she does intend to describe the honeymoon in equally flowery terms.  I hope I don't have to reach for the brain bleach.

So, taking bets.  Did they spend their honeymoon:

a.  In Colorado.

b.  Doing "ministry."

c.  At the property of an (unidentified) friend in an (undisclosed) place.

d.  All of the above.

e.  None of the above. 

f.  Oh, FFS, they went to Vegas.

 

Ha! Except we know they went to Texas.

I'm expecting lots of selfies, photos of scenery, Chelsy with bed-head hair, and both with a glazed look in their eyes. 

Oh yeah, and a whole pile of extra punctuation1!!11!!! to suggest that OMG SEX IS AMAZING without actually saying as much. 

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Tired
freethemall
Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, ladyamylynn said:

Reset the clocks, it's officially been zero days since an argument about wedding food! Truly an evergreen topic in these parts.

Oh no did I miss the annual FJ argument about hot meal at a wedding vs. dessert reception? I love that one!

Well, I just caught up on Chelsey's 2 latest posts and I was pleased that she mentioned how her Mennonite culture is all about a hot meal at weddings. Soup seemed quite appropriate. I'd be pissed if I was an out-of-town guest who slogged through winter weather during the holidays to get there and not be fed anything more than cake and punch (yuck what a gross combo). Go Chelsy, with your subtle passive aggressiveness!

Did we discuss how the Caldwell's were there? But no Duggar sightings?

Interesting they didn't have Mary do the calligraphy signs.

Edited by freethemall

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Mischievous
nelliebelle1197
25 minutes ago, freethemall said:

Oh no did I miss the annual FJ argument about hot meal at a wedding vs. dessert reception? I love that one!

Well, I just caught up on Chelsey's 2 latest posts and I was pleased that she mentioned how her Mennonite culture is all about a hot meal at weddings. Soup seemed quite appropriate. I'd be pissed if I was an out-of-town guest who slogged through winter weather during the holidays to get there and not be fed anything more than cake and punch (yuck what a gross combo). Go Chelsy, with your subtle passive aggressiveness!

Did we discuss how the Caldwell's were there? But no Duggar sightings?

Interesting they didn't have Mary do the calligraphy signs.

@JermajestyDuggar Did you not spot a few of your Duggar cousins?

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formergothardite
1 hour ago, freethemall said:

But no Duggar sightings?

This looks like Jim Bob, Michelle and a son. 

Laura-Christine-web-Winter-wedding+JC+%2

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mango_fandango

I think that as long as guests know what to expect with food, then that’s fine. If the whole thing is expected to last several hours, I would probably expect something more than just cake, mints and punch because otherwise guests will be starving if they’re expected to be there for the whole afternoon and into the evening. It also depends on when the ceremony starts. 

Food at a wedding doesn’t matter to me that much, more the sheer length of how long the celebrations are. They can last six, seven, eight-plus hours!! I would be left exhausted. But then most of that would involve the reception/waiting for photos to be done/etc, ie social time, and I find being social for long difficult. 

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JermajestyDuggar
37 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

This looks like Jim Bob, Michelle and a son. 

Laura-Christine-web-Winter-wedding+JC+%2

Now that JD is in a courtship and will most likely be married soon, will he be willing to fly his parents around constantly from wedding to wedding? 

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HereticHick
2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

This looks like Jim Bob, Michelle and a son. 

Laura-Christine-web-Winter-wedding+JC+%2

I'm that lady in the pale pink scarf, doing everything to avoid looking at Michelle & JB.  : )

If only JD had discovered Abbie Grace earlier--she could be sitting right beside him.

 

PS If you go to a wedding and only care about the food that was served or not served, perhaps you should evaluate your feelings towards the couple that invited you.

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pandora
3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Now that JD is in a courtship and will most likely be married soon, will he be willing to fly his parents around constantly from wedding to wedding? 

I know he's ferrying them around here, but I wonder if he was also attending more weddings because he was actively looking for a spouse?

9 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

The Bontrager’s won’t post about their courtship rules. They say that each couple gets to make up their own rules. How sad would it be if Chelsy was allowed to be alone with John and have private phone conversations but John wasn’t allowed either. Chelsy has never been consistent with her blog post. Unless she is doing a weekly thing it’s always speratic. 

Yeah, I wonder that too- from what the Bontragers have posted on their blog, the couples definitely spend time alone together, out at dinner, riding in the tractor, and around their property (Mitchell took Bryn on a romantic picnic when he proposed, no chaperone), I wonder if there's any further regulation there. Curiously, Mrs. Bowers posted after the double wedding that neither couple had even held hands prior to marriage which sounds stricter than most courtship engagements.

5 hours ago, freethemall said:

Interesting they didn't have Mary do the calligraphy signs.

I don't think the Maxwells helped out with the wedding at all. They made a big fuss about being in charge of the rehearsal dinner (traditional groom's family responsibility) with Anna's smoked meatballs, but that's really it, it seems like their main contribution was helping with John's (NOT John and Chelsy's) house prep. Chelsy's wedding posts have a lot of little self-deprecating jokes about being last minute and harried in her wedding prep, but honestly I don't think helping with her brothers' weddings prepped her for what the workload would be like for her own wedding. The double wedding was an effort so supported by both of families, and in addition to two brides planning things the brides' Aunt Pandy seemed to be the force behind pulling everything together/cruise directing. Bryn may have had more individual work to do, but she wasn't needing to make long drives back and forth to another state to see her fiance and prep her new house, her home at the hotel was already set (and she didn't sew herself a dress).

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freejugar

That's interesting. I wonder why the Maxwells didn't contribute if they are a bunch of adults with no jobs or obligations? Was it because they disapprove of Chelsey?

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Tired
freethemall
2 hours ago, HereticHick said:

I'm that lady in the pale pink scarf, doing everything to avoid looking at Michelle & JB.  : )

If only JD had discovered Abbie Grace earlier--she could be sitting right beside him.

 

PS If you go to a wedding and only care about the food that was served or not served, perhaps you should evaluate your feelings towards the couple that invited you.

Lol call me a BEC but if I went to a wedding like Jessa and Ben's and was served ice cream outside during cold weather I would for sure reevaluate my feelings towards them. Versus Chelsy I would walk away thinking wow how thoughtful that she didn't starve me, didn't make me freeze my ass off outside, and took the time to talk to me. Like any party you can tell a host who doesn't care about guests and which ones do, I 100% think these choices say a lot about the people making them.

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pandora
13 minutes ago, freejugar said:

That's interesting. I wonder why the Maxwells didn't contribute if they are a bunch of adults with no jobs or obligations? Was it because they disapprove of Chelsey?

My guess would be that it's related to their a) superiority complex, and b) gender roles. The Maxwells always talk about how insanely busy they are- but their schedules aren't packed, they just feel like they are, because they know how to do everything and definitely never waste time breaking down the steps of things obsessively. If Mary's day was two hours of "aunties playtime", family lunch, two hours of work on John's house (just John's. Let's not forget that part) and normal chores, in Maxhell she'd be too swamped to work on a decoration project for Chelsy, help make some decisions about supplies, or draft a pretty program. Before the wedding, Chelsy isn't even extended family- why adjust schedules to help her out?

Given the big stink they made about the meatballs and house renovation, they would have mentioned if they'd done anything else for the wedding. They've only married off boys, and if they assume weddings should primarily be on the bride's family, they not only haven't experienced the amount of work needed to plan a wedding, but also don't think it's their responsiblity to assist. Maybe this would have been ok if the Maxwells had really made the house renovation their project- as much as they called it John's house, I doubt they would have thought it was right for Chelsy to not help with the renovation. There were no Maxwells taking on extra house projects for the weekend so Chelsy could finish her dress. To be fair, I bet Chelsy wanted to come help- to pick things for her future home and see John, but that's where the Maxwells picking up a few wedding related tasks would have been helpful.

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Lisafer
13 hours ago, ladyamylynn said:

Reset the clocks, it's officially been zero days since an argument about wedding food! Truly an evergreen topic in these parts.

Since I've been posting instead of lurking for only a few months, I had forgotten that wedding food was a hot-button topic. I posted in the last thread and then had an "oh shit" moment when I realized that taco soup was such a serious subject!

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nastyhobbitses
11 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

The Bontrager’s won’t post about their courtship rules. They say that each couple gets to make up their own rules.

(Sung to the tune of New Rules by Dua Lipa):

Talk about a boy sometimes

Drive my parents crazy

Wrote rules down and read them out

Or else Jesus cannot save me

My loooooove

I'll never be able to bang anyone else, anyone else

But my loooooove

He wants to side-hug, so I tell myself, I tell myself...

One, your parents check your phone

And your sibs won't let y'all ever be alone

Two, don't hold his hand

It fills your head with thoughts of sin

Three, he's a special friend

And soon you'll be in a godly courtship

And if you're wearing pants

It's your fault for defrauding

I got fundie rules, I got 'em...

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