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Unassisted Fundie Births


JermajestyDuggar

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1 hour ago, Curious said:

Both my kids understood verbal instruction long before they spoke.  It was clear they understood because they acted on things they were told.  That being said, I STILL would not trust them with choking hazards because they may understand when told/reminded not to put something in their mouth, they don't have the self-control and way too much curiosity to be trusted.

My son knew NOT to put his pb&j into the VCR.  We'd been over it *many* times ;)   That didn't stop him from trying it (again) when I took a minute out of his sight to pee!  

It's normal for people in general (not just kids) to understand more receptively than we can say expressively. What was super confusing when I worked with kids with autism was that some of them could say more expressively than yhey could understand receptively. So a kid could say "I need to poop" but may not understand the question "do you need to poop?"

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@Lisafer I was talking about people who insist on having a homebirth with Jesus as the midwife. Homebirths can be done responsibly, heck if a woman's had multiple deliveries with no complications I advocate for them. I'm just not in favor of homebirths where the mother has not received adequate prenatal care, or is taking risks (such as the ones in the stories). 

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4 hours ago, Lisafer said:

But...but...the VCR slot is the perfect size for a PB&J! 

My 18-month-old knows he's not allowed to play with the printer, but he still tries. We tell him "no printing!" But it's just so dang fascinating.

It *is* the perfect size.  To be fair, he was allowed to put tapes in/out of the VCR (with supervision) so I understood that it was a chance of random things being put in there since it wasn't something that was totally off limits.  

Letting him pick his own tapes and put them in and out was the best decision I ever made.  I was so tired of just getting started doing something and having him nag me to change to a different tape after 5 minutes.  Even if it was the same tape if HE put it on he'd watch the whole thing (likely repeating all day.  I can still sing timmy the tooth songs)

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1 hour ago, Curious said:

It *is* the perfect size.  To be fair, he was allowed to put tapes in/out of the VCR (with supervision) so I understood that it was a chance of random things being put in there since it wasn't something that was totally off limits.  

Letting him pick his own tapes and put them in and out was the best decision I ever made.  I was so tired of just getting started doing something and having him nag me to change to a different tape after 5 minutes.  Even if it was the same tape if HE put it on he'd watch the whole thing (likely repeating all day.  I can still sing timmy the tooth songs)

My oldest stuffed a friend's VCR full of Legos when we were there for a playdate once. Fortunately she had older boys and was completely understanding and wouldn't take money from us for a new VCR. The old one was destroyed by team effort when my husband tried taking it apart to get the Legos out. 

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On 7/13/2018 at 10:03 PM, Lisafer said:

I apologize if it sounds like I'm picking on your post. I live in an area where the medical care is often absolute crap, whether at the hospital, the doctor's office, or the midwife's office. High poverty, lots of people on Medicaid, doctors who are overworked and underpaid. When I homebirthed my first son, the local hospital had a horrible reputation for misdiagnosing and poor care. It's since been taken over by a larger company. 

No, I know you're not. And a bad doctor, especially in obstetrics, can negatively impact a LOT of lives. On balance, though, I suspect most doctors are not out to kill mothers and/or babies or even traumatize them, which seems to be what so many of the people on the sites linked above believe.

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6 hours ago, Curious said:

It *is* the perfect size.  To be fair, he was allowed to put tapes in/out of the VCR (with supervision) so I understood that it was a chance of random things being put in there since it wasn't something that was totally off limits.  

Letting him pick his own tapes and put them in and out was the best decision I ever made.  I was so tired of just getting started doing something and having him nag me to change to a different tape after 5 minutes.  Even if it was the same tape if HE put it on he'd watch the whole thing (likely repeating all day.  I can still sing timmy the tooth songs)

My daughter would have done that if she'd been able to reach the vcr.  If there was a hole in anything, she'd find something to put in it.  One of the daycare workers had to stop her from putting her own sock in a hole in the frame of a baby bed.  So we learned early to put things up high!  But I also still remember Timmy the Tooth!

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22 hours ago, Curious said:

It *is* the perfect size.  To be fair, he was allowed to put tapes in/out of the VCR (with supervision) so I understood that it was a chance of random things being put in there since it wasn't something that was totally off limits.  
 

We never had a pb & j in there but my brother did stuff a pop tart in the VCR once! 

I am due in October. I am in no way having a homebirth. My practice has midwives and the doctor will only step in if needed... but at the same time I am very scared of having an elective C-section. I am a very small woman and I worry the doctor will assume I won’t be able to push the baby out. I want a vaginal birth if at all possible (but of course if a C-section is needed I will be fine with that!)

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I attempted a homebirth with my first, but went to the hospital halfway through when the back labor got so bad I stopped dilating. We had a hospital just a few blocks away and my husband drove.

This very, very sad website I’m about to link tells of homebirths and even birth center births where the midwives were so invested in staying out of the hospital that transfers were pridefully and tragically delayed. The stories are heartbreaking: http://hurtbyhomebirth.blogspot.com/?m=1

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On 7/8/2018 at 3:23 PM, Lisafer said:

What makes me angry is that the medical system in the U.S. is so broken that women are choosing homebirth out of fear of what could happen to them in the hospital, whether it's the high maternal mortality rate, massive medical debt, or consent violations during labor that leave new mothers traumatized. Our medical care is so fucked up that some people are afraid to give birth in a hospital. 

I've had one baby at home and one in the hospital. All I want is for women to be safe, respected, and have reliable medical care for themselves and their babies. :my_cry:

None of this is meant in any way to excuse this woman we're discussing. Prayer does not count as reliable medical care, sorry!

Agree to all of this. I'm well-educated and have plenty of faith in most of the medical system. My first child was born in a hospital. Thanks to that experience, and the outright disrespect shown me by the OB, and his insistence that I REQUIRED a c-section or the baby was probably never coming out (she was born less than 30 minutes later, no heart decels or anything other than his watch demanding that she ought to arrive sooner), I would never willingly give birth in a hospital again. Barring some previously known problem, of course.

That doctor also expressed concern that my baby was already very big at 32 weeks and suggested that she should be scheduled for induction right at term. I declined. She was actually less than 6 pounds.

Midwives provided my gyn care for the next few years. They saw me through miscarriages. When I became pregnant again, I went to an OB, thinking I would give it a shot again. That doctor was so cold and mean that I left the office in tears. He told me that I couldn't have been pregnant for any of the miscarriages because I didn't go in for D&Cs, and I probably wasn't pregnant this time because home pregnancy tests are so unreliable. I didn't go back, even though his nurse cheerfully called the next day to "let me know I was pregnant."

When my next child was born, I went to a birth center with nurse-midwives providing the majority of care and an OB overseeing all cases. They provided monitoring during labor but respected my wish to be left alone unless help was needed. If I could go to a hospital and have them just leave me alone unless an actual medical problem arose, I'd do it. Me being in labor is not a problem that needs to be fixed.

Unassisted childbirth undertaken by uneducated people is a problem, don't get me wrong. But the idea that women may not trust OBs and hospitals has little to do with education level.

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53 minutes ago, SoybeanQueen said:

Unassisted childbirth undertaken by uneducated people is a problem, don't get me wrong. But the idea that women may not trust OBs and hospitals has little to do with education level.

Yes. Once you've had a bad experience with a doctor or hospital, it's not easy to "trust the system" anymore.

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On 7/15/2018 at 9:29 PM, NotQuiteMotY said:

No, I know you're not. And a bad doctor, especially in obstetrics, can negatively impact a LOT of lives. On balance, though, I suspect most doctors are not out to kill mothers and/or babies or even traumatize them, which seems to be what so many of the people on the sites linked above believe.

my sister work does a ultrasound technician in a hospital with the community that was like that and she said it was very common for women to not get any kind of prenatal care or get very minimal prenatal care. She said she had a lot of patients who would fake symptoms so that they could go in to get an ultrasound since they wanted a picture of their baby

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