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Josiah and Lauren Part 9: Where Are They Honeymooning?


Coconut Flan

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@InTheNameofRufus I agree with all that you said. It does seem rather easy to get around, especially if you’re actually kidnapping the child. 

18 minutes ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

Permission to apply for a minor child's passport is required from all the child's legal parents, not just those with court-ordered custody arrangements.  Both my husband and I had to be present when we got Sporty and Baby passports, or one of us would have to present a notarized affidavit that the other grants permission for them to get passports.  Since the US is a Hague Convention signatory, permission from all legal parents, regardless of parental relationship or custody arrangement, is required.  Yes, it's a pain in the ass, but it is one protection against international child abduction.

I don’t understand why a parent who legally doesn’t have custody would have to be involved though. You can’t abduct a child you have sole custody of. 

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5 minutes ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

I don’t understand why a parent who legally doesn’t have custody would have to be involved though.

My divorce decree said 'sole custody' with 'specific visitation' rights - including dates/holiday/etc.

I submitted that and her renewal was denied. It may have changed in the intervening 25 years, though. Here are the current rules:

 

https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/passports/apply-renew-passport/under-16.html

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4 minutes ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

I don’t understand why a parent who legally doesn’t have custody would have to be involved though. You can’t abduct a child you have sole custody of. 

Even if a parent has no legal custody of their child, they still retain their parental rights and in most cases, have some visitation with the child.  Why would you want to make it easier for the custodial parent to ignore or end that relationship just for their convenience?  Just because a parent doesn't have custody doesn't automatically mean they are a shitty or deadbeat parent.

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Changing the subject...

I lived not far from the NC Outer Banks. Nice place but unlike my peers, I saw no reason for that to be my ONLY vacation destination EVERY FUCKING YEAR!!! So, for me the OBX are no big deal at all. I can think of MUCH better places to vacation...but I live in Vegas...(grew up north of the OBX in Virginia)

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7 minutes ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

Even if a parent has no legal custody of their child, they still retain their parental rights and in most cases, have some visitation with the child.  Why would you want to make it easier for the custodial parent to ignore or end that relationship just for their convenience?  Just because a parent doesn't have custody doesn't automatically mean they are a shitty or deadbeat parent.

I never said that. I just don’t think they should be able to have the right to deny their child a passport. 

Just now, feministxtian said:

Changing the subject...

I lived not far from the NC Outer Banks. Nice place but unlike my peers, I saw no reason for that to be my ONLY vacation destination EVERY FUCKING YEAR!!! So, for me the OBX are no big deal at all. I can think of MUCH better places to vacation...but I live in Vegas...(grew up north of the OBX in Virginia)

I’m from central VA and all summer long I see families talk about the different beaches of OBX like they’re the best things on earth. I did enjoy my summers there as a teenager, but I couldn’t imagine taking the same week long vacation every summer for 20-40 years. But people really do seem to find happiness there, so I suppose we’re all different. 

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1 hour ago, InTheNameofRufus said:

Yep, the regulations can be a little nuts. My BIL has joint custody of his daughter, yet still needs a letter from his ex wife to take his daughter over the border. She won’t give him one (she has some issues). They actually asked last time he tried to take her to the Canadian Falls and wouldn’t let him over the border even though he had his joint custody documents. 

Just google US Canada border crossing if you have any questions about crossing. 

I recommend crossing at the Rainbow Bridge into the Falls. It’s a beautiful view! 

My daughter only needs her stepdaughter BC and notes from her parents to bring her over. Same with their son she needs a note from his father to being him as well as a photo copy of his DL.

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oh my goodness I guess I am writing this again...

ITS OKAY TO BE GAY.  These people make it out to be a "sin".  They are the ones who are wrong.  ITS OKAY TO BE GAY. If josiah or any of these cult members are homosexual THAT'S OKAY. Their cult is failing them, we don't have to.  

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16 minutes ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

I’m from central VA and all summer long I see families talk about the different beaches of OBX like they’re the best things on earth. I did enjoy my summers there as a teenager, but I couldn’t imagine taking the same week long vacation every summer for 20-40 years. But people really do seem to find happiness there, so I suppose we’re all different. 

The denizens of the Peninsula think it's just the greatest thing...there's a few who adventure all the way down to Myrtle Beach occasionally but...ya know? We never bothered with going there for vacation when we lived there. We'd head to the mountains or further west. I'm rather burned out on beaches and would be quite happy to never go to another beach again. I'm in love with the mountains and the amazing deserts. Driving through New Mexico and Arizona was an amazingly gorgeous trip. Driving from PHX to here was another GORGEOUS trip. The scenery around Hoover Dam is also something everyone should see just once. Beaches are beaches..sand, water, jellyfish and crabs...yay...NOT!

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2 hours ago, Jug Band Baby said:

It's a place that's affordable for many to get to, though you do have to be careful about costs when you get there and be very smart about how you choose to eat. 

It's expeeeeeeeensive. 

Exactly! I went a couple years ago and was definitely shocked by how expensive it was. It makes sense when you consider the location of the island and the fact that they have to import everything. 

Still though, if you're planning an Iceland vacation, don't go on a tight budget or you'll be miserable. The highest surprise to me was the fantastic food - still dreaming about those juicy sliders from Public House. 

It is an amazing, weird place. Everyone is so nice and speaks perfect English. The Blue Lagoon is awful and a tourist trap: skip it and go to the Secret Lagoon instead. 

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Next month we’re driving to Miami to jump on a cruise ship (yay!). I wonder if a Duggar would ever take a honeymoon cruise? Too much Nike! If it’s a Caribbean cruise, but what about an Alaskan one? Not as warm, all you can eat food and drink, entertainment. Seems like it may be an option one day! 

Joe and Kendra went to Greece, if I remember right they visited an island there. Did they go to a beach in wholesome wear? Did they ever show that in the honeymoon episode? Has it even aired yet?  I honestly hate how behind the CO episodes are. I can’t remember crap. :my_biggrin:

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19 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Driving through New Mexico and Arizona was an amazingly gorgeous trip.

There is NOTHING as blue as a New Mexico sky.

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16 hours ago, bird said:

That is a lot of words. Supportive friends supporting. 

I just had to roll my eyes at they couldn't believe "they were finally here". FINALLY, people. FINALLY. At 23 and 19 after less than a year together. It's like they were going to be single forever or something when you get to that age, right?? And the wait for the wedding, I mean, wow, it was forever since they got engaged! Over three months! That's forever! 

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2 hours ago, Jug Band Baby said:

I think custody should ALWAYS start at 50/50, then be modified from there is or as necessary.  When we've got "dads are more likely to get it if they ask" situation, that still means the default is more to the side of moms.

I still see that as a system that favors men. It's part of how parenting is seen as a choice for men but an obligation for women. Look at how people tend to view single fathers vs. single mothers. Single mothers are blamed for all sorts of societal ills while single fathers are seen as heroes.

It's definitely true though that individual men can be harmed by a culture that favors men overall. Stay-at-home dads are often given a hard time, for example (though even then people often see the woman at fault--"he's whipped!"). Conversely, individual women can benefit from a culture that oppresses women, like the fundie women like the Botkin sisters who make money going around telling women that they need to stay at home while their husband or father is the breadwinner!

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5 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I have short and long-term travel goals. 

Short-term:

1. Take Velocitoddler on our first family vacation. We’re in New England, so we’ll likely do Cape Cod for this. We’re hoping to do this next summer, but we aren’t sure if it’ll happen as we want to move to a bigger place.

2. Take a weekend trip without Velocitoddler. This won’t be for a while as we don’t feel she’s old enough yet, but we wouldn’t be traveling far - maybe just to Block Island, which we love.

3. Sesame Place. It’s apparently a good theme park for toddlers. And since it’s located in Pennsylvania we’d possibly be able to visit Amish Country and Gettysburg (one of my ancestors fought there fir the Union, so it’d be cool to show my kids.)

Long-term:

1. Travel to Italy. My husband’s family came from Italy in the early 1900s and I’ve been wanting to get him to Italy for years. We want to bring our kid(s) too, so we won’t be going until she/they are old enough to actually appreciate a trip like this.

2. I’d also love to eventually visit Germany and Ireland, as those are the countries my family is mostly from. And I’d also like my kid(s) to come with us, so another trip where they’d have to be older.

3. Disney World. Again, we don’t feel Velocitoddler is old enough yet. I want to be sure she (and any other kids) are tall enough to go on most of the rides and old enough to walk around without too many issues. 

Those are the big ones I remember right now. We’ve talked about driving to Canada for our first international trip with kids, but we don’t know when/if that’ll actually happen. Neither of us have been to Canada before, so it’d be a lot of fun getting to explore one of the cities (Montreal, Quebec, or Toronto) together if we do.

I grew up in Amish country (and have always lived within a 75 mile radius)-honestly, I would skip that part. It’s pretty much a tourist trap. Yes, the rolling hills and farmlands are beautiful, but PA is filled with that same kind of landscape that you would see anyway if you are driving to other spots like Gettysburg (which I highly recommend.) If you decide to go, I recommend Dutch Wonderland. It’s a great little amusement park for kids.

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1 hour ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

I’m from central VA and all summer long I see families talk about the different beaches of OBX like they’re the best things on earth. I did enjoy my summers there as a teenager, but I couldn’t imagine taking the same week long vacation every summer for 20-40 years. But people really do seem to find happiness there, so I suppose we’re all different. 

I could do Walt Disney world every year for the rest of my life and love it! And we do go to Myrtle Beach for at least a few days most years. But other than that I do like to go new places and do new things. I need more vacation time!

i will say the beach is something I feel like I NEED to go to sometimes. The smell, the breeze, the sound of the waves. There’s something calming about it for me. (Pisces who was conceived at the beach, so that could contribute!)

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3 hours ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

Ah see that’s extreme. I feel that everyone should have  the right to a passport. Parents who share custody should have permission before taking the child out of the country, or  even give a heads up when traveling cross country in continental nations. However— if one parent has sole custody they should also have the sole ability to make such decisions. 

Hi. My experience with having Sole Custody and Sole Guardianship of my son in Canada.  I had to be prepared to tell if there was a medical emergency (ie  needs a kidney).  And for going over the border, yes Disneyland contingent on his dad giving me a notarized letter.   Happliy, though he was an awful man to be married to, he didn't want to deny our son the trip. 

SO we get to the airport and the nice USA check point man says to my 7 year old  - What's that ladies name?  My son, deadpan, Greendoor LastName.   They were stunned;  I said he means what do you call me?  That  got  Mom. 

 

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22 minutes ago, Greendoor said:

Hi. My experience with having Sole Custody and Sole Guardianship of my son in Canada.  I had to be prepared to tell if there was a medical emergency (ie  needs a kidney).  And for going over the border, yes Disneyland contingent on his dad giving me a notarized letter.   Happliy, though he was an awful man to be married to, he didn't want to deny our son the trip. 

SO we get to the airport and the nice USA check point man says to my 7 year old  - What's that ladies name?  My son, deadpan, Greendoor LastName.   They were stunned;  I said he means what do you call me?  That  got  Mom. 

 

Your sons a smart kid who answers questions properly. This gave me a chuckle, thank you! 

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@VelociRapture I haven't been to Seasame place in almost 20 years but me and my siblings weirdly still speak highly about it and how much fun we had. Also as someone else already said, it warms my heart it's officially autism-friendly.

Also, Philly is like 30ish minutes (actually probably less) away and it is always a great time (but I'm also extremely biased:))

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5 hours ago, Sky with diamonds said:

I'm surprised that none of them have honeymooned n Canada yet. I think if they gave it a chance they would enjoy it. 

Maybe they won't come to Alberta since an appearance was cancelled after an an outcry.

My impression of Canada (I've been there once) is that it is like the U.S. in that there is so much to see, that one must visit multiple time. I don't see how you can even cover all of the good parts of a province in one trip, much like most of the U.S. States.

As for a honeymoon, I visited Mt. Rainier when I was 19, and that has been my fantasy honeymoon destination ever since. I'd love to stay in the National Parks lodge there and spend the time with my Sweetie hiking (among other things:wink:).

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3 hours ago, louisa05 said:

I just had to roll my eyes at they couldn't believe "they were finally here". FINALLY, people. FINALLY. At 23 and 19 after less than a year together. It's like they were going to be single forever or something when you get to that age, right?? And the wait for the wedding, I mean, wow, it was forever since they got engaged! Over three months! That's forever! 

Not even that, it’s been 7 months. 7 months from getting to know to tying the knot. Bad idea anyway (I know people make it work but overall chances are pretty high they will grow apart just because their personalities aren’t fully developped yet, and honestly how well do you know someone if you can’t ever see them in private?)

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On 7/4/2018 at 3:41 PM, Iamtheway said:

@xlurker said in the last thread:

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There is no rule that if a man enjoys fashion/is sensitive/likes flowers/cooks/plays with babies etc that he therefore cannot be attracted to women.

My husband does all of those things, and so does a lot of men I know. They’re not gay. They’re just Swedish. 

Gender stereotyping hurts both men and women. In small ways and in big ways. The assumption that women are better parents then men hurts men in custody battles. The assumption that men are better leaders then women hurt women in their careers. There are many examples. Our genders does not define who we are. They’re just one part of who we are. 

You're absolutely right. And as a queer woman myself who likes "masculine" clothes (and underwear, cologne, shoes) and who has to battle gender norms and misogyny in my profession, I am sensitive to those stereotypes. 

I am also sensitive to outing people without their permission. In most cases. 

That being said, I'm one who feels discussion about such speculation isn't evil. (I notice most of the LGBTQ people on here don't).  

Here's the thing. Gender norms are strict in that culture. Super strict. So is a distrust of art and creativity outside of wedding altars and cakes. 

Any child who doesn't fit those norms would do everything in their power to hide those tendencies and turn from such expression or interests unless they absolutely could not, IMO. 

I also get the feeling that we are saying it's a bad thing to be gay so we shouldn't speculate. And yeah, I know THEY think it's a bad thing in their culture, so people are worried for the members of that community who may experience backlash but not discussing sexuality in order to enable adults in the community to conform kind of seems wrongheaded to me. Although I get why some feel it's the right thing to do. 

But for me, I think such discussions need to come up in their culture. And perhaps if people who are different in those families, read here and read about speculation, and sorrow about the possibility of a loveless and inauthentic life, maybe that would cause them to reflect and realize they can live a different and more satisfying life. 

I don't know. 

I do know I don't sense any joy from the short clips we've seen of this young man, with his wife/wife to be. And he's pinged for me in the past. And if that's the case, he can find a life in which he can be himself. As difficult as that might be it can also be beautiful. 

Finally, one of the cases in which I'm not against outing people without permission (if it's known), is when they are living a life and/or advocating for laws, and/or making statements that make life harder for people like me. F them. 

I don't care how hard your life would be if you were honest. Don't lie about yourself while making my life less livable. 

Maybe we need to be less worried about how these people might treat their own (adults), based on speculation and more concerned that they're working hard to force outsiders to live the way they do or face intensive oppression and discrimination. 

If this young man is queer, or any of the adults in this culture, we need to be concerned not with secrecy but with loudly proclaiming the immorality of people who would shun or harass their own loved ones for something that can't be controlled, and concerned with hypocrites who live a lie while discriminating against people like me. 

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My sister and BIL had to fight for years to get custody back of his daughter- he and mom were never married, and did not have a custody agreement. He was raising her, and still helping support mom, even though she didn't have the baby anymore, and they weren't together. When he stopped paying for the apartment she was living in (my niece was about 2 when this all happened, he'd been paying for the apartment since before my niece was born- they broke up while she was still pregnant), she showed up at the babysitter with police, and since there was no custody agreement, she took her.

It took years of lawyers courts to get her back. He was quite often treated like he was only trying to get custody so he wouldn't have to pay child support anymore.  Now, mom doesn't always pay her child support, and doesn't always take her visitation time (they've got the standard every other weekend, certain holidays, etc. with mom), etc., etc., etc., and keeps talking to niece about how soon she'll "have" to come live with her, because after a certain age (niece is 10.5), girls have to live with their mom's, because of periods and bras and stuff, lol.

 

I went on a cruise a year and a half ago, and had to have my ex's permission to get my son a passport. I also got him to notarize a letter giving me permission to take him out of the country, because of what I'd read online, but I was never asked for it.

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22 hours ago, miss_batson said:

Rehersal dinner photo od Lauren and Joshiah

He looks happy here. But man that long post seems like a "she doth protest too much."

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I’m in Canada and my bestie just got sole custody of her three kids. She wants to get them passports because her boyfriend is American and she’d like to go visit him. “Dad” walked out while she was pregnant with her third and moved 1000 miles away when baby #3 was a few months old. He will be four in December, and they haven’t heard from “Dad” since before he moved (didn’t tell them he was moving, just left one day).

I hope to god she doesn’t need his opinion on any decisions. He certainly hasn’t earned that right. 

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15 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Iceland is definitely trendy right now - I know of two men (a couple years out of college) who took trips there to propose! I'm trying to save up to go there this time next year, I've always wanted to go, and my friend who is from there is getting married there! Her parents and brother still live there.

It's trendy because Wow Air is subsidized by the government so it's super cheap to get to Europe with stopovers in Iceland, which has increased the tourism industry greatly in that country. 

13 hours ago, Million Children For Jesus said:

Same! It has been on my list for at least 20 years. My interest started because of the Blue Lagoon. Whenever I mentioned it, I would get snickers and scoffs, eye rolls, and even insults about my oddity. Those same women who didn’t “get it” back then, are now bragging about how their kids just returned from Iceland. (I hate my neighborhood.) Anyway, I’m glad it’s gaining popularity because the airfare is cheaper. I’d like to go within the next 2-3 years, so I hope it stays trendy.

My spouse went on the way to mainland Europe. It's a great way to acclimatize. She went to the Blue Lagoon, which has mineral scrubs, ate great food, and made friends with all the beautiful, fluffy cats that are EVERYWHERE. 

The airfare is subsidized because the government wanted to increase tourism. Super smart and it's worked. 

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