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Coconut Flan

Josiah and Lauren Part 9: Where Are They Honeymooning?

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Meh
Coconut Flan

Continued from here:

They got married.  This has been the least posted about on social media Duggar wedding so far.  Even the TLC post wedding clips are short and no brief two day after the wedding clip or short honeymoon clip has come out.

As asked on the previous thread, please take any discussion about the rules to community discussion.  

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SapphireSlytherin

@KelseyAnn - in the last thread, you said:  

Quote

I knew something was wrong with me, but I didn't know just what.

 

There.Is.Nothing.WRONG.with.you.

You are awesome and perfect, just as you are. 

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Kaylo
[mention=19496]KelseyAnn[/mention] - in the last thread, you said:  
I knew something was wrong with me, but I didn't know just what.
 
There.Is.Nothing.WRONG.with.you.

You are awesome and perfect, just as you are. 

I wanted to say the same thing, there is nothing wrong with you at all!
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Jug Band Baby
Quote

Anyway.... I think the neck was constructed by pinning the pleats to a lining cut in a circle with a slit for the fastening you suggested - doing a thin seam to hold it together, then turning rightside out - kind of like a French seam, but without the second seam. I think it was probably side seams shaping it, and the sash. 

@Mama Mia, I think it was easier.  A couple years back,I was helping with some bridesmaid dresses and the approval came through sooner than planned, however immigration works with that, and the "at least a few months" we thought ended up "it has to be done within 30 days!".  So me and the other girl did something that looked exactly like that, which was easy and didn't require getting all the measurements we knew the any bridesmaids weren't all likely to get to us in time since the date was a measly not even 2 weeks out.  It was when the bride's dad could get to the US.  This dress is beginner stuff.  Really.

DRESS:

Since that kind of fabric doesn't really have a front of back, lay the outer fabric to the lining, sew the neckline 5/8" from the edge, then another seam 3/8" from the edge. 

Run elastic or cotton cord through it, but don't gather yet.

Sew the arm holes, but not the side seam or back seam yet.  Clip the curves (cut every half inch or so from the edge to just before the seam).  The width we used was about 8", which gave that little cap sleeve effect.

Put your hands between the layers from the front and you through the "tunnel" over the shoulder to grab BOTH back layers, and pull through the shoulder.  Do the same for the other side.  

Line up the front shell and back shell at the sides, making sure to start at the arm pit, and then match up the lining front to the lining back, and sew your seam (you can also serge the edges).  Do for the other side.  Congrats.  You now have an armhole with no raw edges.  

Sew a seam down the back lining and the back shell, separately, starting about 4" from the neckline.  

For that remaining 4", baste the seam allowance inward.

Now pull the elastic or cord to fit the neck.  Sew the hell out of one it on one side so it won't pull loose, and add a button.  On the other side, make a loop first that will go over the button, then sew the hell out of it.  

Hem.

SASH:

Take a wide, lone piece of the outer fabric.  Fold in half longways.

Sew the ends.  Then sew on the long end, stopping somewhere random , then picking back up 3" later.  That'll be where you turn the sash right side out.

Then turn it right side out.

Baste that opening closed.

You are done.  In about a couple hours.  When you put the dress on, the neckline gathers will fall nicely so that the sash tied in will flatten the folds into pleats.

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Jug Band Baby
Quote

Sometimes I forget how.....generous a bosom I have. Then I see a picture of myself and about fall out of my chair. 

@JemimaPuddle-Duck, I paid good money for my bazongas.  I'm not about to forget!

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Jug Band Baby
5 minutes ago, Iamtheway said:

@xlurker said in the last thread:

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There is no rule that if a man enjoys fashion/is sensitive/likes flowers/cooks/plays with babies etc that he therefore cannot be attracted to women.

My husband does all of those things, and so does a lot of men I know. They’re not gay. They’re just Swedish. 

Gender stereotyping hurts both men and women. In small ways and in big ways. The assumption that women are better parents then men hurts men in custody battles. The assumption that men are better leaders then women hurt women in their careers. There are many examples. Our genders does not define who we are. They’re just one part of who we are. 

My husband is a lot more into these things than me.  He melts at babies more than me!  He was a baby that looked like how our girls did a few weeks ago, and was like, "Can we have another baby?"  He's not gay.  He's just a man who grew up liberal enough to be comfortable in enjoying what he likes and not be ashamed of it.

Between us, I am usually the leader in most things, and I work on cars, and renovate bathrooms.  I'm not a lesbian.  I just like doing that stuff.  In makeup. Because I just recently started getting into it more, and that time is me-time in the morning.

Yet if you saw us, NOBODY would think he was feminine or that I was masculine.  I HATE the presumption that you can't be sensitive, like flowers and cooking and OMFG he loves Queer Eye like there's no tomorrow, and still be masculine, or that you can't be a leader type and still be feminine as fuuuuuck.  Because what we like doesn't have to fall into columns.

I wish I cooked as well as him.  Fer realz.

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Waffle Time
Palimpsest
15 minutes ago, Iamtheway said:

My husband does all of those things, and so does a lot of men I know. They’re not gay. They’re just Swedish. 

My husband does all those things and doesn't feel any need to watch American foot ball.

He was born and bred in the US of A.  And is not gay. :)

 

 

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Rachel333
19 minutes ago, Iamtheway said:

The assumption that women are better parents then men hurts men in custody battles.

This is actually a myth, and one that I too believed unquestioningly for a long time. Fathers just don't ask for custody as often (and unfortunately some of the ones who do are just using it as a pawn in the divorce) but if they do they're very likely to get it.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/myths-about-custody-litigation/2017/12/15/61951bc4-e0e6-11e7-b2e9-8c636f076c76_story.html?utm_term=.e2ce3db4bd01

Quote

The preference for mothers went out with women's lib; as long ago as the 1980s, studies found that the vast majority (94 percent in one study) of fathers who actively sought custody received sole or joint custody and that fathers received primary physical custody far more than mothers. This preference for fathers manifests in punitive responses to mothers who resist equal "sharing" of the joint "property" (child).

So why keep pushing joint-custody statutes and harping on fathers being cheated in custody? Because it ensures that courts will continue to believe that preferring fathers furthers equality. And because it gives fathers accused of abuse the ultimate weapon: the claim that resistant mothers are just vengeful ex-wives. A recent national study that focused on cases involving claims of "parental alienation" found that when mothers allege abuse in family court, fathers win more (72 percent compared with 67 percent when no abuse was claimed) — and that mothers lose custody half the time regardless of abuse claims. Mothers lose custody the most when they allege child sexual abuse (68 percent). This is the real story.

I also think that while the stereotype of women being better parents is unfair to men, in reality it ends up hurting women more and benefiting men. It's used to justify placing the majority of the burden of childcare on women while men can do the bare minimum as fathers and be lauded as wonderful parents.

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Iamtheway
1 hour ago, Rachel333 said:

This is actually a myth, and one that I too believed unquestioningly for a long time. Fathers just don't ask for custody as often (and unfortunately some of the ones who do are just using it as a pawn in the divorce) but if they do they're very likely to get it.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/myths-about-custody-litigation/2017/12/15/61951bc4-e0e6-11e7-b2e9-8c636f076c76_story.html?utm_term=.e2ce3db4bd01

I also think that while the stereotype of women being better parents is unfair to men, in reality it ends up hurting women more and benefiting men. It's used to justify placing the majority of the burden of childcare on women while men can do the bare minimum as fathers and be lauded as wonderful parents.

In Sweden the majority of parents have joint custody and most kids with separated parents live half their time with each parent. It’s actually really hard to lose costody. The parents that do have sole custody though is mostly mothers. Of course some of them is because the dad didn’t ask for custody but that doesn’t account for such a huge difference.

Research in Sweden shows that the mother does get custody more often (when there is a trial) but that it isn’t because they are women. It’s because they have done the majority of the childcare before the separation. In cases where the dad has done most of the childcare he has won sole custody. So getting away with the bare minimum does hurt dads. And not only in custody battles. If you don’t take care of your child you miss their childhood, the love and the fun and the connection. 

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Rachel333
12 minutes ago, Iamtheway said:

So getting away with the bare minimum does hurt dads. And not only in custody battles. If you don’t take care of your child you miss their childhood, the love and the fun and the connection. 

Yeah... but in a similar sense as how privilege can let people miss out on experiences that would be helpful for them, like working for things or facing consequences for their actions. It's true, which is how extreme privilege can result in nasty people like the Trumps, but it's also only because of the privilege they benefit from directly. If men miss out on experiencing their children because they refuse to take care of them that's unfortunate but that's their problem and I don't see them as victims the way I see others negatively affected by gender expectations.

I'm definitely not faulting anyone for believing the myth about fathers being at a disadvantage with custody as it's repeated incredibly frequently, especially by MRAs as it's one of their more sympathetic-appearing points. I believed it so long that I was surprised to know the truth and I thought other people would want to know that it's a myth as well!

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xlurker
3 hours ago, Jug Band Baby said:

I work on cars, and renovate bathrooms.

Yes!  I refinish furniture and have put in all the tile in my home--I also garden and crochet.  No one should make judgements about a person's sexuality by what they do.  I have a problem with those kind of assumptions.  Humans are different, we have different things that make us happy.  No these are "men" things and these are "women" things....

ok, I am tired and about to type incoherently, so I will stop now  :D

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Nodaknorskie

I think custody is easier to get for men in some places but not in the south.  In fact, where I live the law just changed three days ago to encourage judges to think joint custody first.

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Rachel333
3 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

@xlurker said in the last thread:

  Hide contents

There is no rule that if a man enjoys fashion/is sensitive/likes flowers/cooks/plays with babies etc that he therefore cannot be attracted to women.

My husband does all of those things, and so does a lot of men I know. They’re not gay. They’re just Swedish. 

Gender stereotyping hurts both men and women. In small ways and in big ways. The assumption that women are better parents then men hurts men in custody battles. The assumption that men are better leaders then women hurt women in their careers. There are many examples. Our genders does not define who we are. They’re just one part of who we are. 

By the way, I agree with this overall.

Interestingly, in some ways I think fundie men can bend some gender stereotypes while also enforcing strict gender roles. I've seen a lot of men get choked up talking in church, for example, when they talk about things like how much they love Jesus. It's not that common to see men crying in public otherwise.

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Meh
AliceInFundyland

 Let’s send Josiah and Lauren somewhere in Africa. I’d like to see how his cultural sensitivity and awareness goes compared to the siblings. 

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miss_batson

Rehersal dinner photo od Lauren and Joshiah

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Chewing Gum
1 hour ago, AliceInFundyland said:

 Let’s send Josiah and Lauren somewhere in Africa. I’d like to see how his cultural sensitivity and awareness goes compared to the siblings. 

Or the Netherlands and send them to the Wallen (prostitute area), but I’m evil like that. 

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Mama Mia
8 hours ago, Jug Band Baby said:

@Mama Mia, I think it was easier.  A couple years back,I was helping with some bridesmaid dresses and the approval came through sooner than planned, however immigration works with that, and the "at least a few months" we thought ended up "it has to be done within 30 days!".  So me and the other girl did something that looked exactly like that, which was easy and didn't require getting all the measurements we knew the any bridesmaids weren't all likely to get to us in time since the date was a measly not even 2 weeks out.  It was when the bride's dad could get to the US.  This dress is beginner stuff.  Really.

DRESS:

Since that kind of fabric doesn't really have a front of back, lay the outer fabric to the lining, sew the neckline 5/8" from the edge, then another seam 3/8" from the edge. 

Run elastic or cotton cord through it, but don't gather yet.

Sew the arm holes, but not the side seam or back seam yet.  Clip the curves (cut every half inch or so from the edge to just before the seam).  The width we used was about 8", which gave that little cap sleeve effect.

Put your hands between the layers from the front and you through the "tunnel" over the shoulder to grab BOTH back layers, and pull through the shoulder.  Do the same for the other side.  

Line up the front shell and back shell at the sides, making sure to start at the arm pit, and then match up the lining front to the lining back, and sew your seam (you can also serge the edges).  Do for the other side.  Congrats.  You now have an armhole with no raw edges.  

Sew a seam down the back lining and the back shell, separately, starting about 4" from the neckline.  

For that remaining 4", baste the seam allowance inward.

Now pull the elastic or cord to fit the neck.  Sew the hell out of one it on one side so it won't pull loose, and add a button.  On the other side, make a loop first that will go over the button, then sew the hell out of it.  

Hem.

SASH:

Take a wide, lone piece of the outer fabric.  Fold in half longways.

Sew the ends.  Then sew on the long end, stopping somewhere random , then picking back up 3" later.  That'll be where you turn the sash right side out.

Then turn it right side out.

Baste that opening closed.

You are done.  In about a couple hours.  When you put the dress on, the neckline gathers will fall nicely so that the sash tied in will flatten the folds into pleats.

Oh, that makes a lot of sense ! And great design for including women of different figures - and who had  very rapidly changing bodies.

And great job for you getting those dresses done so quickly ! 

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Million Children For Jesus

I think they will go wherever the TLC producers feel like going on vacation, and it won’t be anywhere one of the other couples have already been. None of them have been to Spain, yet. Iceland seems to be very popular right now. (In my area.) I don’t know if it is trending elsewhere, but that’s the trip to take to keep up with the Joneses in my neighborhood. (I don’t keep up. Not even close.) The other hot spot is Turks and Caicos, but I doubt SiRen will go somewhere with beaches. Hey, Trump loves Norway!

I’m actually kind of curious to know where FJers are traveling. Every region seems to have their own choice of popular destination spot and travel trends are constantly changing.

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Iamtheway
6 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

Yeah... but in a similar sense as how privilege can let people miss out on experiences that would be helpful for them, like working for things or facing consequences for their actions. It's true, which is how extreme privilege can result in nasty people like the Trumps, but it's also only because of the privilege they benefit from directly. If men miss out on experiencing their children because they refuse to take care of them that's unfortunate but that's their problem and I don't see them as victims the way I see others negatively affected by gender expectations.

I'm definitely not faulting anyone for believing the myth about fathers being at a disadvantage with custody as it's repeated incredibly frequently, especially by MRAs as it's one of their more sympathetic-appearing points. I believed it so long that I was surprised to know the truth and I thought other people would want to know that it's a myth as well!

I think there might be a big difference between Sweden and the US in this matter but thank you for the links! I will definitly read future articles about gender equality in regards to childcare and custody with a more critical eye. 

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bird
1 hour ago, miss_batson said:

Rehersal dinner photo od Lauren and Joshiah

That is a lot of words. Supportive friends supporting. 

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Rachel333
2 hours ago, Million Children For Jesus said:

Iceland seems to be very popular right now. (In my area.) I don’t know if it is trending elsewhere, but that’s the trip to take to keep up with the Joneses in my neighborhood.

It's definitely a popular destination! I became obsessed with Iceland as a child and back then people were baffled when I said I wanted to visit, as they imagined it as a cold, barren, boring place. Or there was my grandfather who actually had been to Iceland and described it as a "horrible place" and told me about a crewmate who fell into the freezing ocean there... somehow I'm guessing it might be a little different experience when you're choosing to go there on vacation as opposed to being taken there in February in the middle of WWII!

It really is a gorgeous place though. I've been there twice now, both times for just 1-3 days, and I badly want to go back and explore the country more extensively. It's such a beautiful, bizarre, otherworldly island.

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Dizzy
EyesOpen

Well I love that rehearsal dinner dress. Love the retro cut of it!

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