James Ference is on wife #6

[bea]

And the discussion way back on yuku where we were visited by the man himself (who deleted his post), a Kim Smith, and I think also Natalie herself, but I haven't found her comments yet.  Starts on pages 4 and 5 here:  https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/freejinger/courtship-stories-t4343-s40.html

Natalie posted under the name AragornsRose. Allegedly, the material FJ dug up on Ference’s previous relationships and deceitful behavior was one of the reasons she walked out with their newborn son.
To catch up those who were not around for the slo-mo trainwreck, Natalie was booted from YLCF and literally scrubbed from the site for marrying James and then threw herself into portraying them as The Perfect Couple with the cloying “Pursue The Beauty” site. And then that all fell apart. Props to Daddy Nyquist, President of Moody Bible, for welcoming his daughter home as a twice-divorced single mother, because many a fundie Daddy would have kicked his kid to the curb. After multiple attempts are reinventing herself as an author and SURVIVOR (allcaps because seriously, it was like she was intending it as a career) who was publishing her “memoir” before she was 30, she wrote a Huffpo article about her closely-observed two marriages and two divorces without one single word about WHY she was being observed or any mention of the toxic religious culture she’d grown up in, and then poofed off the FJ radar by not broadcasting her personal life all over the Interwebz.
Ference, however, remains of interest to FJ because how someone with 5 previous marriages who appears to have no visible means of support and few personal charms can keep attracting women.
Seriously. It’s baffling. I was one of the deep divers into public documents, finding his marriage records and a date of divorce from his previous marriage that came after the beginning of his marriage to Natalie. The whole thing was like a cautionary movie of the week from network TV.
Natalie is now a book editor with (I think) a Christian publishing house, raising her son, and for all intents and purposes seems to be a normal human being.

[Flyinthesoup]

In answer to my own question, above, I'm not sure any of these children are Sarah's.  Someone who has more skill and clarity of mind to dig back into the other wives' new/old surname to see if these children show up on their public pages, that would be helpful.  Here's what I did found out:

On Jame's FB page:

-Engaged to Sarah on Nov. 21, 2017 in the photo with Sarah and the boy.  James comments: "We both are so beyond blessed" indicating the boy and James are beyond blessed to have Sarah in their lives.....so, I think Sarah has no children, I could be wrong.

-Married on Dec. 31, 2017

Sarah's FB page:

-Aug. 26, 2015 Mother in law reference (she was married before) does not appear to be FB friends any longer

-January 1, 2017 “mother in law” comments on photo, so this means she was not married to James at that time

-June 10, 2017 photo cover of boy this boy looks different not sure this is “her son”, I think this is one of James' son, not sure. This is the first time one of the children show up together with Sarah.  Before that, no children on the FB page.

I get the sense this is all a fascade and maybe, just maybe, Sarah is not all that innocent...just a thought.

[AliceInFundyland]

Thanks for this rabbithole. On page 9 of the thread Palimpsest references above Krista and another ex-wife jump in to the the conversation. Weird.

[Marserin]

On 6/30/2018 at 9:44 AM, Rachel333 said:

You know those divorce statistics people cite incorrectly to claim that 50% of couples get divorced? It's people like this guy who throw off those numbers.

I also find it mindboggling that he can get SIX women to marry him, especially when he's trying to keep up the perfect Christian veneer. I guess it shows how manipulative he must be.

He is the Spiders Georg of marriage.

[Hane]

He is living proof that some women will settle for anything with a dick and a pulse.

[OhNoNike]

I was married to a guy like this in my early 20s.  Married before me, kid with someone he never met, married someone after me and that didn’t last long.  Now I’ve lost track.  

The only thing I can rationalize is that I was in a relationship where I didn’t feel appreciated and that guy came along and told me all the right things.  I’ve since discovered that my main “love language” is words of affirmation. So this guy just really said everything right.  He had about 6 jobs in the time I knew him but he was mostly unemployed if that says anything.  He wasn’t even attractive.  I’m sure all my friends were like “wtf is going on”.  Lasted less than a year. 

Edited July 6, 2018 by OhNoNike

[Palimpsest]

14 hours ago, OhNoNike said:

The only thing I can rationalize is that I was in a relationship where I didn’t feel appreciated and that guy came along and told me all the right things.  I’ve since discovered that my main “love language” is words of affirmation. So this guy just really said everything right.

And you shouldn't blame yourself for falling for the line. 

Con men like this are very clever, have trained themselves to pick out people at vulnerable times in their lives, and are really good at working out what to say to hook them in. There is an interesting discussion about psychopathology in the Turpin thread at the moment that sheds light on people like Ference.

I think we tend to underestimate how clever they are and wonder why their victims fall into the trap.   However, the sad truth is that every single one of us could become a victim of one of these people given the right circumstances. 

[OhNoNike]

You’re right - and to be honest, I’m glad it happened to me at a young age. I learned a lot and it made me so much of a stronger person!!  It also really gave me insight into certain things - like coming away from the situation, it felt like the real world was so foreign. And that was less than 2 years of “brainwashing”. I can’t even imagine how members of many families we discuss here that leave handle it. 

[hoipolloi]

James Ference is a predator, among other things, and has honed his skills at seeking prey. The prey, for their part, unwittingly behave or give signals that they could be his next victim.

To normal people, James Ference is a skeezy loser, but to his prey, he's saying & doing all the right things.

@OhNoNike - very glad that you survived that toxic relationship & went on to be a better human being. 

[Hane]

@OhNoNike, I’m so glad that you get out relatively unscathed and that you considered it a learning experience.

A 40-something gal I was once in choir with was far unluckier:  She was a timid, insecure divorced mom who had been given a generous lump sum payout in order to take early retirement from the phone company she and I worked for. (This was in 1995, and she was an operator, so she saw the writing on the wall in terms of the future of her job.) Suddenly, she had a cute little boyfriend who looked like her soulmate, and he joined the choir with her, and they were absolutely adorable together. Soon they were engaged.

And soon he dropped off the planet—after swindling her out of her entire retirement fund. 

Edited July 7, 2018 by Hane

[OhNoNike]

@Hane Apart from the phone company and year, that could have been one of my ex’s victims. He had one just like that before me. I always felt sorry for her.  She was very insecure and timid... a lonely, divorced single mom*.  Man he really reeled her in.  Somehow I was more self assured and while I fell for it, was able to see the light relatively quickly.  I think my age/inexperience more than personality was my downfall.  Fortunately. 

*Yes, not all divorced single mothers are at risk.  These were just things that happened that, because of her personality, put her more at risk for this predator. 

[OhNoNike]

Update:  Started digging into that posted from the old site (long before I was a member), and it could have been my experience. I also chatted w my ex’s ex and have wondered what became of the largest ex I knew about after me.  I found it helpful to talk to other victims of the same perp.  Also, I can verify that for years afterwards, I’d still find out things the guy lied about.  A lot of it was so stupid, there’d be no reason to lie (which is why you tend to believe them, because why lie?). And since people are generally good, you trust them.  You can’t go through life not believing anyone... they start with little lies, then big lies (lie cheating), then some sort of confession/repentance/begging... rinse, repeat.  

Im totally beyond that phase of life, but reading the posts from his victims oh the old page actually makes me feel less stupid lol.  

[Mrs. Bean]

I checked to see what’s James been up to, and there is a public post on his FB written 3 days ago in which he admits to being addicted to pornography and says it has destroyed his other 5 marriages. Apparently his current marriage is also in trouble for the same reason ( he admits to cheating on his current wife). He even admits that almost everything on the “James Ference is a Liar” is true and posts a link to it. 

Is he becoming self aware? I hope he does and stops destroying women’s lives. 

Edited December 21, 2018 by Mrs. Bean

[Petronella]

5 hours ago, Mrs. Bean said:

I checked to see what’s James been up to, and there is a public post on his FB written 3 days ago in which he admits to being addicted to pornography and says it has destroyed his other 5 marriages. Apparently his current marriage is also in trouble for the same reason ( he admits to cheating on his current wife). He even admits that almost everything on the “James Ference is a Liar” is true and posts a link to it. 

Is he becoming self aware? I hope he does and stops destroying women’s lives. 

Interesting! Which James Ference on Facebook is he?

[OhNoNike]

5 hours ago, Mrs. Bean said:

I checked to see what’s James been up to, and there is a public post on his FB written 3 days ago in which he admits to being addicted to pornography and says it has destroyed his other 5 marriages. Apparently his current marriage is also in trouble for the same reason ( he admits to cheating on his current wife). He even admits that almost everything on the “James Ference is a Liar” is true and posts a link to it. 

Is he becoming self aware? I hope he does and stops destroying women’s lives. 

In my experience, this is all part of the ploy.  They admit they’re wrong so someone (his current wife? Girlfriend? a future girlfriend?) believes he’s a stand up guy now! Changed!  Holy! Honest! Look how vulnerable he is!

They ALWAYS fall back into it.  It’s what makes them feel most comfortable.  They play this vulnerable game when they’re injured enough but once the dust settles, they’re back to their normal selves.

Normal humans genuinely want to believe the best in people, so we hope they’ll be different, that they’ve seen the light.  It’s engrained in them, and I don’t believe they ever change.

This thread reminded me of my old posts.  Said ex has now remarried yet AGAIN to a seemingly smart woman (only seemingly because I don’t know her).   These guys snag smart women.  If anyone knows the Dirty John story, it’s pretty evident.  Falling for this character has nothing to do with lacking common sense or intelligence.  They’re good players. 

[singsingsing]

Yep, it's basically the cycle of abuse. I was taught about the cycle of abuse in grade 9 because I was at the 'alternative school' for 'troubled students', and I honestly think it's one of the most valuable things I learned in school. Every kid should get this lesson around the age of 13-15, in my opinion. It's so important to know.

[bea]

Porn.
Porn is to blame.
Yep, James. Porn.
Oh FFS, he’s what, 40 or older? And a spirit filled blood bought Christian on his SIXTH WIFE, who he apparently has ALSO cheated on.
But it’s the porn. Poor James. So helpless.
[emoji849]

[Howl]

On 6/30/2018 at 4:37 PM, Flyinthesoup said:

What jumped off this photo, to me is his too cuddly arm around the girl and the firm grip on the young boy.

I went back and looked at that pic, and am now totally creeped out. 

As Dr. Phil notes often, bad stepdads combined with teen stepdaughters leads to way too much sex abuse.

Hope the new bride  isn't too "in love"  doesn't have her head too far up her ass and is able to protect her daughter.  From the descriptions on here, the guy is a straight up predator and con man. 

[NotVerySnarky2]

The little kids are James & Chelsea's.  The older kids are James' with wife #2.   He doesn't see his other kids as far as I know. 

[refugee]

I am reminded of a recent tweet by Sheila Gregoire, the author of the Love, Honor, Vacuum blog.

Spoiler

Comment just left on my blog:

 

"If there is anything God grieves over, it is people adding to His Word. Nowhere in Scripture does it say a man cannot have more than one wife.”

 

Having a hard week. Sometimes it’s hard living with so many horrible thoughts.

 

[Howl]

On 12/21/2018 at 9:54 AM, singsingsing said:

Yep, it's basically the cycle of abuse. I was taught about the cycle of abuse in grade 9 because I was at the 'alternative school' for 'troubled students', and I honestly think it's one of the most valuable things I learned in school. Every kid should get this lesson around the age of 13-15, in my opinion. It's so important to know.

Thank you for posting his. The first time I saw this graphic was years ago in a wonderful book titled There Is Nothing Wrong With You: Going Beyond Self Hate  by Cheri Huber and damn! is that graphic spot on.  This cycle can happen in a relatively low key way and be just as destructive -- self reveal: dealing with it now. 

To clarify, the Cheri Huber book is from a Buddhist perspective. Getting ready to order it online -- one for me and one for a friend. 

[Granwych]

It was going to happen sooner or later.  Sarah LeAnn Ference, wife #5 of the infamous James Ference, is pregnant.  Only a month after Jimmy boy confessed to cheating and porn gazing, the current Mrs. will be adding to the tribe.  Oy vey.

Mods, please remove if this is in the wrong forum.

Edited January 28, 2019 by Granwych
Stupid tablet!!!

[JermajestyDuggar]

What number is this? Can you list the children he has with ex wives?

[Palimpsest]

15 minutes ago, Granwych said:

It was going to happen sooner or later.  Sarah LeAnn Ference, wife #5 of the infamous James Ference, is pregnant.  Only a month after Jimmy boy confessed to cheating and porn gazing, the current Mrs. will be adding to the tribe.  Oy vey.

Mods, please remove if this is in the wrong forum.

I think this is the right forum.  I'm also fairly certain that this is wife #6

http://jamesferenceisaliar.blogspot.com/

Edited January 28, 2019 by Palimpsest

[bea]

Oh James.
From my own post back when Chelsea had their first, in October 2014:
“There was Wife #1, who had kids already and dodged the bullet by not having any with him. Then Wife #2 or possibly 3, with whom he had one kid, but he cheated on her with Girlfriend #1, who had a kid with him, and then another kid with the wife. Then a son with Natalie, who was Wife #4, and left his lying cheating bigamous ass when her son was an infant (you go, girl). I believe the wife with whom he had the 2 kids was on the Yuku board talking about his inability to hold down a job, which meant no child support, he did not support the girlfriend's kid, and Natalie seems to support her little dude herself.

Which means poor Chelsea - who is, if I recall correctly, either a teen or close to it, is wife #5 with kid #5.”

Then to 2 kids with Chelsea, bringing the LAST total to 5 wives and 6 kids.

Now wife #6 is pregnant with kid #7.

I don’t even know what to say any more.
Yuck.