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Mrs. Jill Duggar-Dillard (Derick) 61: Now Showing Shoulders


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18 minutes ago, nolongerIFBx said:

Also movies- doesn't matter if it is G rated, we don't go to the movie house. Avoid the appearance of evil.

This is what my parents always said but in our church we were the weird ones. My mom did break down and let us go once with some people from the church to see a cartoon, but there was much praying over the issue. My parents got into a huge fight with my grandparents over the issue because they wanted to take some of us to see the Beverly Hillbillies* movie when it came out. You would have thought they were initiating us into devil worship the way my parents acted. 

20 minutes ago, nolongerIFBx said:

And if they're not out door-knocking and bus-calling at least once a week, then they're not right with God.

Weekly visitation! If you didn't come you were for sure looked down on! I'm not sure most of the people actually wanted to go knocking on doors or visiting the families of the bus kids, they just came out of pressure. 

*now that I have seen it, we really didn't miss much. 

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@formergothardite, I never saw The Beverly Hillbillies movie, but I did learn the term "reticule" from the TV show.  On one episode, Granny made reference to her "reticule" which I saw was her old-fashioned handbag and by old-fashioned I mean old-fashioned enough to be a drawstring bag that women carried back in the 1800s.  My daughters and I need reticules for the Jane Austen fest this weekend along with fans and some Regency dresses.  We are going to have bonnets at least.   

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On 6/29/2018 at 9:12 AM, VelociRapture said:

I have a question. Not just for our former/current Fundies/Fundie curious, but anyone who wants to answer - what do you think is the main difference between a Fundamentalist Christian and a conservative Christian? Is there even a difference at this point?

And for the record I know how tiresome this conversation can be, but I really appreciate the comments and discussion that has been happening here. Especially those from our former-Fundies. Those of us who have not lived this type of lifestyle can often have a very tough time understanding the nuances and differences between different Fundamentalist groups. I mean, I’ve tried hard to listen and learn the past few years and I still have trouble understanding some stuff. So I think your comments (as they pertain to this specific flavor of Fundie) are very important and helpful.

Late to this party and I may edit this as I continue reading the thread.

Fundie extremist (old me): Believe that how they live their faith is the best way, every other way is 2nd class. Others may be Christians but they are not as pleasing to God because they don't live their faith the same way as the fundie extremist does. Salvation is a free gift but God's favor/love must be earned through good works. Bad behavior will be punished by an angry God, so if something bad happens, you must search out what God is punishing you for. God will bless you with a parking space if you have been good and prayed for one. Evangelism is confrontational.

Fundie leaning conservative Christian (me now): Believe that how one lives one's faith is a personal choice. There are absolutes, but a lot of gray- "in essentials, unity; in doubtful matters, liberty; in all things, charity." Salvation is a free gift and so is God's favor. You cannot do anything to make God love you less but you also can do nothing that makes Him love you more. You still desire to please God and to do good works, but it is done because of love for God not to earn His love. God does not punish you out of anger. Shit happens to everyone. It rains on the just and the unjust. God may not prevent bad things happening to you (or to anyone) but He may use bad things to teach you something and He will provide you with what you need (faith, strength, grace, mercy) to make it through. If you find an open parking space unexpectedly, you don't think you're special, but you can still say "Thank you God" because being thankful is good for you! You live your faith in front of others=lifestyle evangelism, sharing with those who express interest. "Always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect." 1 Peter 3:15

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On ‎7‎/‎7‎/‎2018 at 4:02 PM, Shiny said:

I'm no expert on gender dysphoria, but I know what my trans friend has said and Laura Jane Grace from Against Me. They both say that they *had* gender dysphoria but now don't because the cure is transitioning or at least accepting that you are trans and living as who you are. Cure isn't the word Laura Jane uses, I don't think...and it's not quite the right word here, but hopefully the idea comes across.

I do think Derick would hate this respectful discussion happening on his thread. 

I'm not expert on it either, I do know 4 people who are or at one time considered themselves trans. Two "came out" in their late 30's early 40's and transitioned with in a few years (these were both in the last 5 years).  The 2 others "came out" in their teens, one at 16 the other at 19. The 19 yr old is FtoM, and in the process of transitioning he's had his breasts removed and is doing hormone therapy, He is decided weather or not to have bottom surgery, he had a partial hysterectomy at 16 for some reason that wasn't fully disclosed so I guess it isn't any of my business to ask. The one who came out at 16 had come out as lesbian at 14, she has very supportive family (they both do),just this year at 18 has decided that she really is a she and a lesbian, she was also FtoM, she was also diagnosed as Bipolar when she was 15. Her mom isn't sure she won't change her mind again, but she is very glad she didn't allow for her to start transitioning when she was 16, because of her bipolar diagnosis, it wasn't under control because of the hormonal shifts of normal puberty. She didn't allow it because her DD's dr and psychiatrist suggested waiting until she was 19 or 20 to allow for the hormones to clam down and see how her Bipolar disorder reacted before introducing even more hormones into his/her system.  She's still a mess emotionally and is having a very hard time with suicidal thoughts and is in and out of the hospital.  This is all to do with the bipolar and NOT if she is or isn't trans or is or isn't a lesbian, her mom and her siblings have told her repeatedly that they will support her no matter WHAT her choice is, so she is very lucky in that regard, even if her dad is a POS but he's always been a POS since before she was born so that is on him and him alone.  

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On 7/9/2018 at 2:24 AM, neurogirl said:

There is a great episode in season 2 of the new Queer Eye where the client/focus is a trans man. He had recently had top surgery in his young 30s, and the emotion he had when woke up from surgery and saw that his chest looked the way he always felt it should...it was very moving indeed. I try to be progressive and aware, but as I don't know any openly trans people personally, the episode was a "Trans 201" (not quite 101) to focus on the emotional side of the transition, and why for some trans people, surgery(ies) are vital to their health and happiness, and "just dressing like a man" won't cut it. My SO had been wondering if trans people who transition are then "adhering too much to the gender binary" (what my SO said was much nicer than that but I can't remember the wording) and the show did a great job of showing that gender confirmation surgeries are for the trans person to match on the outside who THEY ARE on the inside, not just for the world to see. So yes, gender is a spectrum, and the trans person on the show did like to dress slightly androgynously sometimes, but he was a man and needed for his body to reflect that.

Now all of the above paragraph might be super obvious to you all, but to those supportive but a little unsure, it was a helpful episode that taught me something I wouldn't want to ask about in person. Sorry for my ignorance I'm always reading and willing to learn. 

It was a great episode, wasn't it? I also don't know much about transgender issues, so I watched it hoping to learn a little something. I was comforted to see that even the Fab 5 were uncertain/awkward a few times but were always respectful and genuinely trying to help the young man become comfortable in his attire and lifestyle.

And that bespoke suit...hot damn, that suit. I want a suit like that. The tailor, Daniel Friedman, of Bindle and Keep, has a very interesting life story as well. 

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6 hours ago, nolongerIFBx said:

In the IFBx I was raised in they would be in hella trouble for holding hands before marriage. 6 inches, people, 6 inches at all times. Also movies- doesn't matter if it is G rated, we don't go to the movie house. Avoid the appearance of evil. And if they're not out door-knocking and bus-calling at least once a week, then they're not right with God. And leggings! You would not need leggings if you were acting like a lady.

But going away to Bible college was pretty much a given, even for girls. So, yes, many different camps of fundies.

Are you my long lost sister?!?! That sounds EXACTLY how I was raised!!! Back then I was so brainwashed I had no idea but now, looking back, I can't believe how ridiculous it was!!!

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40 minutes ago, mollysmom said:

Are you my long lost sister?!?! That sounds EXACTLY how I was raised!!! Back then I was so brainwashed I had no idea but now, looking back, I can't believe how ridiculous it was!!!

Maybe! It was ridiculous. I'm still fundie by most of the standards discussed in this thread, but I am unable to thoroughly communicate how differently I think now and I'm still changing. How did I ever think that being OfJill level confrontational would bring someone around to my way of thinking? And why could I not see how WRONG it was to behave like that?

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"Salvation is a free gift but God's favor/love must be earned through good works."

 

This one surprised me because the people I thought of as fundies were always telling me that good works have nothing to do with it, it's belief in Jesus as savior that is the only thing that counts. This is according to them one thing (among many, I'm sure) that is wrong with us Catholics. Also a refrain from the groups that seek to convert/target the ex- Amish.

So maybe that's not a deal breaker in the fundie world? 

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2 hours ago, nolongerIFBx said:

Maybe! It was ridiculous. I'm still fundie by most of the standards discussed in this thread, but I am unable to thoroughly communicate how differently I think now and I'm still changing. How did I ever think that being OfJill level confrontational would bring someone around to my way of thinking? And why could I not see how WRONG it was to behave like that?

Exactly!

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16 hours ago, patsymae said:

"Salvation is a free gift but God's favor/love must be earned through good works."

 

This one surprised me because the people I thought of as fundies were always telling me that good works have nothing to do with it, it's belief in Jesus as savior that is the only thing that counts. This is according to them one thing (among many, I'm sure) that is wrong with us Catholics. Also a refrain from the groups that seek to convert/target the ex- Amish.

So maybe that's not a deal breaker in the fundie world? 

But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead

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21 hours ago, patsymae said:

"Salvation is a free gift but God's favor/love must be earned through good works."

 

This one surprised me because the people I thought of as fundies were always telling me that good works have nothing to do with it, it's belief in Jesus as savior that is the only thing that counts. This is according to them one thing (among many, I'm sure) that is wrong with us Catholics. Also a refrain from the groups that seek to convert/target the ex- Amish.

So maybe that's not a deal breaker in the fundie world? 

Good works has nothing to do with salvation, belief in Jesus as Savior is the only thing that counts for salvation. But moving on in your faith after salvation, if you wanted to God's special love and favor, you had to earn it- at least that was how I felt. You could just be saved and you would go to heaven but God would find no pleasure in you. You had to work hard to be loved. 

I hope I have explained it more thoroughly. 

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My understanding from my fundie lite family* members was always: God will work with you and God will work in you, yet to be favored you must ask God to work through you in good works.

*Public school, Bible studies at night, but "courtship method" supervised dating in groups or visible to prevent temptation of the flesh overwhelming a couple. 

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Seriously, which Fjer is this wackadoodle, Limp Bizkit-loving  "Coosbirdlady"?  I think she/he/it was posting on Jinger's Insta and now has moved on to Jill's:

 

image.png.360bb59c8b0c1a3b67929ce08975fbbc.pngimage.png.ec8fd28b6c08d33fea60004c6808aa57.png

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.On not posting the wedding pics, Pickles has one up from a guest that noted in the post that they were asked not to share for a week and since the time had passed they figured it was ok. The Dills could've been going off of that if indeed that's what was said. In which case I don't see a problem. 

I really think it was pulled because of TLC and whatever rights to exclusive coverage SiRen were paid for. Otherwise why pull them down at all? I also think beating TLC to the big reveal was intentional and kinda flipping the bird to the network. 

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1 hour ago, Shadoewolf said:

.On not posting the wedding pics, Pickles has one up from a guest that noted in the post that they were asked not to share for a week and since the time had passed they figured it was ok. The Dills could've been going off of that if indeed that's what was said. In which case I don't see a problem. 

I really think it was pulled because of TLC and whatever rights to exclusive coverage SiRen were paid for. Otherwise why pull them down at all? I also think beating TLC to the big reveal was intentional and kinda flipping the bird to the network. 

Yes, I think Chris Jeub mentioned that in a Facebook post shared here as well. 

ETA: Yep! Here’s the post:

He specifically stated there was a one week waiting period. So I see nothing wrong with the Dills choosing to share photos after that week long period was over. The only issues I’d have with them sharing is if they were cruel about it somehow (like making fun of the bride and groom for some reason) or if they were sharing photos they did not personally take. Otherwise, I think it was fair game. 

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In Jill's recipe for Breakfast Casserole she writes in the ingredient list -

"1 package (1 lb.) bacon, cooked (I only had like 4 slices, so I threw in several slices of chopped up lunchmeat)"

Lunchmeat? What kind of lunchmeat? If it was ham then maybe it could work (especially if it was browned slightly first) but I really hope it wasn't pickle loaf.

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Sometimes I feel a bit nuts about dating and the like. And I dunno what to think.

It was really Jill that made me convinced over the courtship sh'bang (in an earlier thread I told my "almost went full fundie" story), and still thinking of it, I'm not fully opposed to it. But I suppose the difference comes in with the fact that I am turning 26 in a week and it would be my own choice and preference. Sure, it stems from Duggaroonis (and later YouTube channel called "Worth the Wait" where two adults decide to court and not kiss till marriage, both having a wild history with dating and sex), but having been thinking about it for a longer period of time, it's actually something I'd... probably prefer at this point. My past relationships have been crazy fast (I've had like 10 boyfriends and flings combined in the past 11 years), and courting feels like it'll give me time to learn something about the other in a deeper level. Though front hugs will 100% be allowed lol, I ain't gettin' into this creepy side hug business.

The world has really changed. When my paternal grandparents got engaged, that's when the both of them kissed anyone for the first time at 20+. I'm not glorifying it at all, especially as my grandfather was borderline narcissistic. But it makes me think about what I hold important. I know I'm not gonna wait till marriage when it comes to kissing.

There's definitely a dilemma in my mind. Will the man that I meet get offended if I ask to start things off as a courtship? Will I want it til engagement or turn to regular dating before engagement? What really are my motives? Am I romanticising courtship, or is it really my free will? Am I projecting something through this?

My brain hurts. :/

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Ugh. My ovaries just exploded. I hate when that happens. :pb_lol:

Its really weird when Jill makes posts like this where no one looks like they’re about to die or been kidnapped or something. It’s like when a dog walks around on its hind legs - you know it’s possible, it’s just not something you expect and it’s fucking weird to witness. 

 

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10 hours ago, Shadoewolf said:

.On not posting the wedding pics, Pickles has one up from a guest that noted in the post that they were asked not to share for a week and since the time had passed they figured it was ok. The Dills could've been going off of that if indeed that's what was said. In which case I don't see a problem. 

I really think it was pulled because of TLC and whatever rights to exclusive coverage SiRen were paid for. Otherwise why pull them down at all? I also think beating TLC to the big reveal was intentional and kinda flipping the bird to the network. 

Yeah I saw that Jill had pulled the video's and pics I figured she'd gotten a smack down from TLC I will say that Siren reception looked nice. 

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Izzy reminds me of some pictures I saw of Benedict Cumberbatch when he was a kid. Sam looks like he's posing for a magazine spread. Both are adorable. :my_heart:

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All the Duggar grandkids are adorable but there is something about little Sam that tugs at my heartstrings. I still love that little video of Derick reading to the kids and Sam was looking over at Izzy and reaching  for him. I just love sibling bonds. My two kids are 4 and 6 and I just love seeing them organically play together, have funny little conversations and hug each other. 

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11 hours ago, Shadoewolf said:

Hey somebody zoom in on the books/videos on the upper right and look for something normal!!

Is that a kid's toy kitchen next to the books?  Holy gender roles confusion, Batman!

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1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

Is that a kid's toy kitchen next to the books?  Holy gender roles confusion, Batman!

But Derick cooks, so maybe it's "ok" for them to have a play kitchen?

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