Seewalds 34: No News Yet

[Daisy0322]

7 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Actually, nobody EVER should say anything to a parent about what they choose to feed their kids. Unless, of course, it's rat poison or bleach.

 

Thank you! Today I got bitched at by another mom for letting my almost one year old share an ice cream bar with me.  He had avacado, watermelon, and chicken left over from yesterday for lunch so I don't see the issue...This is why I have no mom friends. I can't deal with all the judginess 

[justoneoftwo]

16 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

Thank you! Today I got bitched at by another mom for letting my almost one year old share an ice cream bar with me.  He had avacado, watermelon, and chicken left over from yesterday for lunch so I don't see the issue...This is why I have no mom friends. I can't deal with all the judginess 

I probably wouldn't say anything there, but when someone asks me the best chocolate milk for their 6 month old, I will point out that the baby shouldn't be having cows milk per the APA, and sugar might not be the best plan either.  She asked, and there are only 2 things your really not supposed to give a baby, and it was one of them, I'll say something.

Other times I quietly question, but don't say anything.  I try not to judge, but I do.

[Knight of Ni]

When I worked at Wendy’s my favorite was “you can’t have soda because of the sugar would you like a fruit punch?”  I don’t think people realize that the HI-C fruit punch had just as much sugar as the sodas. 

ETA: HI-C actually has more. HI-C fruit punch has 3.3 grams of sugar per ounce while coke has 3.2 grams of sugar per ounce. The only benefit of choosing it over the Coke is the lack of caffeine.

[HermioneSparrow]

17 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

Thank you! Today I got bitched at by another mom for letting my almost one year old share an ice cream bar with me.  He had avacado, watermelon, and chicken left over from yesterday for lunch so I don't see the issue...This is why I have no mom friends. I can't deal with all the judginess 

The mommy crew is so judgemental for everythinggggg. I don't have kids yet but a few days ago I posted something about being pro-choice in my facebook and a woman said "of course you support abortion, you don't understand cause you're not a mom". I replied "I didn't know being a judgemental asshole like you had anything to do with maternity", never got a response.

[Daisy0322]

 

1 hour ago, HermioneSparrow said:

The mommy crew is so judgemental for everythinggggg. I don't have kids yet but a few days ago I posted something about being pro-choice in my facebook and a woman said "of course you support abortion, you don't understand cause you're not a mom". I replied "I didn't know being a judgemental asshole like you had anything to do with maternity", never got a response.

There is no winning as a mother, someone always has an opinion and whatever is "wrong " you can bet it's some how your fault.

[Nargus]

29 minutes ago, HermioneSparrow said:

The mommy crew is so judgemental for everythinggggg. I don't have kids yet but a few days ago I posted something about being pro-choice in my facebook and a woman said "of course you support abortion, you don't understand cause you're not a mom". I replied "I didn't know being a judgemental asshole like you had anything to do with maternity", never got a response.

Being pregnant (with a very wanted baby) has made me even more pro-choice than I was before. 

[Buzzard]

23 minutes ago, Nargus said:

Being pregnant (with a very wanted baby) has made me even more pro-choice than I was before. 

Same.  Going through a high risk pregnancy that multiple drs in three states advised termination resulting in a (so far) healthy now 16 month old only strengthened by pro choice stance.

[VelociRapture]

32 minutes ago, Daisy0322 said:

Exsactly... you're still judging. Am i supposed to be flattered that you don't seem my son eating ice cream bad enough to say something?

I’m not really sure what you mean by this. 

People are going to have opinions regardless of what you do. Parenting is a hot topic issue and absolutely everything is up for debate and judgement. It’s stupid and unfair. All you can hope for is that most people take the mature approach that @justoneoftwo mentioned, which is to keep their opinions or judgements to themselves*. 

*Unless it’s a matter of safety or imminent danger. I have zero issues with other adults stepping in to help if a child could be seriously harmed or killed. 

3 minutes ago, Buzzard said:

Same.  Going through a high risk pregnancy that multiple drs in three states advised termination resulting in a (so far) healthy now 16 month old only strengthened by pro choice stance.

 

28 minutes ago, Nargus said:

Being pregnant (with a very wanted baby) has made me even more pro-choice than I was before. 

Yep. Same here. I had wicked bad morning sickness my first trimester and I was honestly miserable when I didn’t have enough anti-nausea medicine (thanks insurance!) No one should have to deal with anything pregnancy related if they don’t want to - pregnancy can be very tough on your body, your mind, and your emotional state. Women are human beings, not incubators. 

[Daisy0322]

@VelociRapture maybe I misread the tone of thier response but it seemed rude to me. Either way it's probably not worth it. 

[VelociRapture]

1 minute ago, Daisy0322 said:

@VelociRapture maybe I misread the tone of thier response but it seemed rude to me. Either way it's probably not worth it. 

Ah. That makes sense. I don’t think that was her intention at all. She said she only offers an opinion when directly asked for it, like in the chocolate milk example. Otherwise she keeps her opinions to herself. She also said she realizes that’s still a form of passing judgement and she doesn’t like that*, but it honestly sounds pretty preferable to me than some random person verbally chastising someone. 

*This also sounds like pretty normal behavior. Every single person silently forms judgements and opinions about the way other people act or live their lives. It’s really not a problem most of the time because you can’t know whether you’re actually being judged or not. The only way you’d know for sure is if the person chooses to verbalize that opinion or judgement. In that case, it is a problem (unless, again, it’s a question if safety or imminent danger.)

Just keep doing your best to provide a healthy and happy home for your son. You’ll find a method of dealing with unwanted comments or advice that works best for you.

[justoneoftwo]

I'm sorry you thought I was rude, I really didn't mean to be.  

 

[Carm_88]

I fall in the category of "Not my kid, not my problem." Unless of course it's child endangerment, that's a completely different kettle of fish. Most people are doing their best! 

[Daisy0322]

6 minutes ago, justoneoftwo said:

I'm sorry you thought I was rude, I really didn't mean to be.  

 

It's fine really, it can read either way. no need to apologize. 

[Bluenoser]

 

8 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

Other times I quietly question, but don't say anything.  I try not to judge, but I do.

I think this is true for all of us. Forming an opinion is involuntary. We can only control to how we respond to it. 

[ElephantPatronus]

No kids for me, but I’ve been very present for my five nieces and one nephew (I was pretty much the only babysitter for all of them) and I would never tell someone what to feed their kid. (Silently judging is another matter.) That being said, when my older sister was using that fake plastic “butter” in the tub, I couldn’t stand it. I didn’t say anything to her (knowing she’d get pissed) but I DID make sure to take real butter with me when watching her kids. It didn’t take long for the kids to say “I want the stuff Aunt K puts on toast-it tastes better!” My sister got tired of listening to her kids complaining and finally switched.

[onekidanddone]

9 hours ago, Knight of Ni said:

When I worked at Wendy’s my favorite was “you can’t have soda because of the sugar would you like a fruit punch?”  I don’t think people realize that the HI-C fruit punch had just as much sugar as the sodas. 

ETA: HI-C actually has more. HI-C fruit punch has 3.3 grams of sugar per ounce while coke has 3.2 grams of sugar per ounce. The only benefit of choosing it over the Coke is the lack of caffeine.

Soda, punch and many fruit juices are just liquid candy.  

[snickers34]

Finally watching the Kendra delivery videos. Man oh man, as I'm watching Jessa talk and prep welcome banners for their return from the hospital...oy - Jessa sure seems like she has peaked in life. Her big life moment was her wedding, but now she's two kids in, so the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, etc, feel so much less exciting. She seems so less into it, and, unless she breaks away from the cult or she's hiding parts of her life from the show (she's got no hobbies, career or interests beyond her kids that we know of?), I'm not sure what she does with her life? I don't know - no disrespect to anyone who's focusing their lives on just kids, but she just seems so sad and 'has been' like considering she is. only. 25 y'all! Like wtf!

[Shadoewolf]

I admit I become judgemental when it comes to kids sometimes. Like the one who gives his kids sippy cups and bottles full of Coke at bedtime to lay down with. Not only bottle rot from the sugar but the acid, and the caffeine totally counteracts the large doses of melatonin they give the kids under age 2 (NOT safe!!). I see someone putting Mountain Dew in a 6 month old baby's bottle and giving it to the baby, I may not say anything but they're absolutely going to get the side eye from me. Let your kid do something that is by it's very nature dangerous to their health/life and I go into mama wolf mode. 

[Jatalie1996]

@snickers34 ITA. I think it's true for all fundie women, but it's different with Jessa because she seems pretty intelligent, so she probably has some untapped potential. It really makes you wonder what these women would end up doing if they weren't fundie.

[JordynDarby5]

5 hours ago, Jatalie1996 said:

@snickers34 ITA. I think it's true for all fundie women, but it's different with Jessa because she seems pretty intelligent, so she probably has some untapped potential. It really makes you wonder what these women would end up doing if they weren't fundie.

I wonder a lot what they'd all be like if they had simply been allowed to have a real education, interests and decide for themselves what they wanted to do with their lives. Who knows where they would be or what they'd be doing or what they'd all be interested in. 

[Daisy0322]

5 hours ago, Jatalie1996 said:

@snickers34 ITA. I think it's true for all fundie women, but it's different with Jessa because she seems pretty intelligent, so she probably has some untapped potential. It really makes you wonder what these women would end up doing if they weren't fundie.

I don't think this is limited to the fundy world. I got pregnant while in college and it seemed like quite a few of my teachers were less than thrilled. They all wanted me to continue on and get my PA or MD. I'm just not super career oriented and while school is very easy for me I just don't feel the urge to continue on. (They actually bug me about it to this day). I love being a mom and I might work part time soon. But anyway my point isn't really about me, some people just are more family oriented naturally abdvthey are perfectly fine with the life @snickers34described even if other people feel they could've done something "more".  Maybe she would've done more if she had another option but in not sure it's fair to saddle her as inhaopuband unfulfilled. She's been raised to not want anything else so I don't think she considers the what if possibilities. Most of my dreams however were crushed as a child haha there was a lot of "girls don't do those things" so probably I'm just as damaged as Jessa.

[seraaa]

2 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

But anyway my point isn't really about me, some people just are more family oriented naturally abdvthey are perfectly fine with the life @snickers34described even if other people feel they could've done something "more".

The important thing is to be happy with your choice (and the get to make the choice in the first place). It's fine to be super career-oriented. It's fine to want to spend most of your time with your children and your home. 

[DillyDally]

8 hours ago, snickers34 said:

Finally watching the Kendra delivery videos. Man oh man, as I'm watching Jessa talk and prep welcome banners for their return from the hospital...oy - Jessa sure seems like she has peaked in life. Her big life moment was her wedding, but now she's two kids in, so the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, etc, feel so much less exciting. She seems so less into it, and, unless she breaks away from the cult or she's hiding parts of her life from the show (she's got no hobbies, career or interests beyond her kids that we know of?), I'm not sure what she does with her life? I don't know - no disrespect to anyone who's focusing their lives on just kids, but she just seems so sad and 'has been' like considering she is. only. 25 y'all! Like wtf!

We might not consider it to be a promising, full-time career, but Jessa seems to be the main character on Counting On now. Didn't she also comment a lot on another birth (that wasn't one of her own children's births) on the show? She does have a lot of experience being in front of the camera for her young age, she might put that to use later in life in a different format.

[SadieJane]

I just had a realization that Jessa is my pet fundy.  The show started out being about her and Jill's life, and now that Jill is out, it's all about Jessa and the new kidaults I feel like are on a trial run for TLC, so yeah, I expect to see her a lot.

 

Sanctimoms. Oh where to start with Sanctimoms. I honestly have no patience for them. I realized this when my son, 2 at the time, non verbal at the time as well as autistic, had a meltdown in the middle of a Kroger parking lot, and I yanked him up and proceeded to my car. A mom came up to me screaming about how horrible I was by quickly picking him up and not carrying him "right", blah blah. I told her to kindly fuck off, got him into the car seat and moved on with my life, but from that moment on, instant dislike for Sanctimom behavior. 

If you are not a parent yet, and a mom is doing something you don't like, but is not dangerous, keep your mouth shut and walk away.  If you have tips to share, don't be overly aggressive with them, and remember, to err is to be human. 

 

But yeah, don't sugar up and over caffeinate your kids. You'll want to sleep someday and that caffeines gonna be like, nope!

[snickers34]

3 hours ago, seraaa said:

The important thing is to be happy with your choice (and the get to make the choice in the first place). It's fine to be super career-oriented. It's fine to want to spend most of your time with your children and your home. 

Yes yes. I know we have this go around conversation every so often. It's not being a mom and focusing on that that's sad. It's the lack of choice that makes it sad. I don't know- she comes across as sooo deflated lately, as if she knows she's peaked in life and can't do anything about it.