Seewalds 34: No News Yet

[candygirl200413]

For those that have bed wetters do they still use those alarms? Even though I was the late bloomer, my brother wet the bed till 8 or 9 but I think he just had child pullups because it wasn't always an everyday occurrence.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

18 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

No diapers wouldn’t work for us. We have no fenced yard because we live in a condo complex and the only non-carpeted rooms are the kitchen and bathrooms. We have no way to gate off the kitchen and the bathrooms aren’t big enough to hang out in all day long. 

We’d like to avoid pull-ups if we can. I plan to look into what other options there are and see what works for us.

That’s what I’ve read too. If she were full-term and showing lots of signs of readiness it’d be one thing, but she’s a preemie and is showing some signs. I figure this is one of those things we’re its best to proceed with caution so it ends up hopefully being a good experience for her. 

Velocibaby is only what 16/17 months old? I'll tell you what I was told my very wise MIL who raised 6 kids, if you wait until the kid is ready it will take you no time at all, if you do it when YOU are ready and they are not, it will take forever. You will know when she is ready, she'll be dry for long periods of time, will wake up from naps and overnight dry, and she'll understand the concept of going on the potty. I never had my kids running around naked and we had a fenced in back yard. They were dressed put in underpants and changed and cleaned when necessary.  DS was a lot more work because we did it when WE were ready not when he was, and I think that is why it took us a year to completely get him potty trained.  With DD we waited until she was ready and it took 1 day. 

I tell new moms to always take advice from people like you'd take money from a person covered in shit, VERY CAREFULLLY.  I think we all learn whose advice works for us and whose doesn't take what you want and shove the rest, and ignore anyone who tells you you are doing it wrong, because you aren't.

[SapphireSlytherin]

@allthegoodnamesrgone - and that applies to your advice too, right? lol

 

No one way is perfect for everyone, and if I could have kept clothes on my kid (it was a fairly short-lived phase, thank goodness) I would have. Naked, at home, is NBD, right? Not like I took her to the grocery store or the zoo (or even out on our balcony) nekkid. 

 

 

[VelociRapture]

@allthegoodnamesrgone She actually just turned 19 months last week. Her adjusted age is almost 18 months, though that’s (thankfully) getting less important as time passes. I think we’re planning to wait until she’s closer to 2 or 2.5 at this point, but if she starts showing more signs of readiness sooner than that we’ll just roll with it. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

23 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

@allthegoodnamesrgone - and that applies to your advice too, right? lol

 

No one way is perfect for everyone, and if I could have kept clothes on my kid (it was a fairly short-lived phase, thank goodness) I would have. Naked, at home, is NBD, right? Not like I took her to the grocery store or the zoo (or even out on our balcony) nekkid. 

 

 

Of course it does! I'm not an exception.  I mean I'm always right but not everyone else agrees with that either, bastards! 

 

As for the naked or not, I was just that person that would rather wash clothes than carpet that is why we kept pants on them. That and DD was already an exhibitionist, we didn't want to encourage her more than she already was with her little butt flashing everyone every chance she got.

[Meggo]

1 hour ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Velocibaby is only what 16/17 months old? I'll tell you what I was told my very wise MIL who raised 6 kids, if you wait until the kid is ready it will take you no time at all, if you do it when YOU are ready and they are not, it will take forever. You will know when she is ready, she'll be dry for long periods of time, will wake up from naps and overnight dry, and she'll understand the concept of going on the potty. I never had my kids running around naked and we had a fenced in back yard. They were dressed put in underpants and changed and cleaned when necessary.  DS was a lot more work because we did it when WE were ready not when he was, and I think that is why it took us a year to completely get him potty trained.  With DD we waited until she was ready and it took 1 day. 

I tell new moms to always take advice from people like you'd take money from a person covered in shit, VERY CAREFULLLY.  I think we all learn whose advice works for us and whose doesn't take what you want and shove the rest, and ignore anyone who tells you you are doing it wrong, because you aren't.

Yep - I'm with your MIL on potty training. It was a blip on the screen in our world. And a half potty trained kid is WAY worse than a non potty trained kid. 

My advice for new moms with regards to advice is "Listen to it and say "Hmm - that's interesting - I never thought of that before." and then do with it what you will. Sometimes you'll think that person is a whackadoodle and you'll get a good chuckle over it. Sometimes you'll think they're crazy and then at 3am when nothing else works - you'll try it and BOOM now your kid is asleep.

But Opinions are like bums. Everyone has one - no one thinks theirs stinks. 

(oh- and my other advice is that those crazy shoulders on onesies are designed to go DOWN over baby in case of a poop-splosion - which I did.not.know soo... I tell people that.) 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

15 minutes ago, Meggo said:

(oh- and my other advice is that those crazy shoulders on onesies are designed to go DOWN over baby in case of a poop-splosion - which I did.not.know soo... I tell people that.) 

You know HOW MUCH I wish I had known this 20 years ago?

[Meggo]

Just now, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

You know HOW MUCH I wish I had known this 20 years ago?

That's why I tell EVERYONE!!! Because I didn't know! 

[justoneoftwo]

31 minutes ago, Meggo said:

That's why I tell EVERYONE!!! Because I didn't know! 

No one knows this!  Its so clever and yet people are not told!  

[Jenn The Heathen]

3 hours ago, candygirl200413 said:

For those that have bed wetters do they still use those alarms? Even though I was the late bloomer, my brother wet the bed till 8 or 9 but I think he just had child pullups because it wasn't always an everyday occurrence.

Those alarms are around and they’re wonderful.  We used one last summer when little heathen #2 was 7.5 years old and still wetting the bed EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.  We used those night time pull ups for years because the pediatrician said his body just wasn’t ready.  One day, I couldn’t take it anymore and bought the alarm.  Turns out he’s a super heavy sleeper and his body wasn’t waking him up to pee.  It took about 3 months of using the alarm for his body to figure it out.  That thing was a god send.

[xlurker]

4 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

we waited until she was ready and it took 1 day

Didnt think Lurkerling #1 would ever be potty trained!  She would ask on occasion but it was nothing to count on.  The morning of her 3rd birthday she woke up and I asked her to go get a diaper.  She looked at me and said "NO!"  I said "Excuse me?"  She returned with "Lurkerling is a big girl now, its my birthday and no more diapers"  True to her word, no more diapers, no accidents day or night.  Figures I had just bought a huge case of diapers at BJ's!  LOL 

Quote

 

 

[Cheetah]

My youngest decided to potty train while we were on an international vacation (at Grandma's house for the first part of it, so that wasn't too inconvenient, but still...). 

And for those who say girls are easier to train than boys, it was the opposite in my family.  My oldest (girl) was interested quite young so I thought she was ready, but she had a tiny bladder and needed to pee about every half hour, so would do fine for a little while and then lose interest in having to stop what she was doing to go to the potty.  We had to back off for a while and wait for her bladder to mature a bit. 

[GutenbergGirl]

On 7/12/2018 at 7:35 PM, SilverBeach said:

Did she not have a pediatrician?

Nope.  No prenatal care at all, either.  

[Peaches1981]

On 7/12/2018 at 9:50 AM, Meggo said:

When I was working with my son on potty training - my niece (who runs a daycare and has an ECE degree) said "If it's work? He's not ready."
And you know what - he wasn't. He did finally catch on around 4 (yes, yes, I know) and really - it was a breeze. We tried it before that - sticker charts, M&Ms - the whole deal - but we never really pressured him - but it was like he woke up one day and went "Hey - I can pee in the potty!"

And never looked back.

Thank you for this. My younger son is now 3 and has no intention of using a potty. It is very frustrating to us as my older son was fully potty trained by 3years (day and night). I am trying to be patient and keep reminding myself it’s not a race and he will get there eventually. 

[rainbowbabycakes]

12 hours ago, louisa05 said:

And when a kid is old enough to say "can you change my diaper now?", well, you start to feel like perhaps he could use the damn toilet. 

I worked at the daycare on base when we were stationed in Germany. We had a parent who didn't potty train their kid until right before he went to Kindergarten, and they had to, lol, because it was too much hassle to have to worry about finding a potty while they were travelling, it was easier on them to just change his diaper (and yes I know this, because they told us)

We tried to encourage him to go at the center, and he would say "No thank you, I don't go potty. You can change my diaper though"....  He was very polite, but when you're old enough to say that, you're old enough to go to the bathroom 

[BackseatMom]

I will say that I potty trained backseat kid 3 separate times. Each time he seemed ready, got really into it for a few days, then said "diapers, please." If I refusi, he would potty in his pants until I gave in. It didn't stick until he was motivated to keep with it around 3.5.   so... Put me in camp your kid has to be really ready

[justmy2cents]

10 hours ago, Meggo said:

(oh- and my other advice is that those crazy shoulders on onesies are designed to go DOWN over baby in case of a poop-splosion - which I did.not.know soo... I tell people that.) 

How did I not know this? It would have saved me so much trouble!

[cascarones]

My eldest brother was potty trained during his first flight to the mainland. By this I mean my mum forgot diapers, didn't realize and told him diapers weren't allowed on planes so he'd just have to tell her. She's always been a lucky lady and he was fine with it as part of his big boy getting to fly wings, but the transpacific method is not recommended.

[Chewing Gum]

As an inhome daycare provider, I’m in camp “try when they are ready” too. After 20+ kids I’ve learned there is just no point in trying if they’re not ready. As soon as it becomes a battle you’ve lost. Maaaaaaybe one of them will catch on if you try it on your scedule but the majority will not. My youngest turns three in a few weeks and has no interest, mainly because she is stubborn as hell. So be lazy and wait...  

[rocket_girl]

15 hours ago, Meggo said:

 (oh- and my other advice is that those crazy shoulders on onesies are designed to go DOWN over baby in case of a poop-splosion - which I did.not.know soo... I tell people that.) 

How on earth did I get to be 41 years old with 2 kids and not know this?!?

Seriously, this is on par with the time I was subbing in a Pre-K classroom and a 4-year old asked me to open her juice box. I opened it, but accidentally squeezed it in the process, leading to a puddle of juice on the table. The little girl looked at me with wide eyes and said “Don’t you know about the wings? You wouldn’t spill it if you used the wings...”

I guess my confusion was obvious because the next thing I knew she’d grabbed her friend’s juice box to show me how to lift the little flaps that are folded in on each side. Apparently, the “wings” make nice little handles that give you enough leverage to pop the straw in without accidentally squeezing the box and making a mess! I was so excited that I said “This is absolutely life-changing! I can’t wait to tell everyone I know about the wings!!”

The kids at the table all looked at me like I was bonkers.  They couldn’t figure out how someone could be a grown-up could and not know about the juice box wings (their teacher had taught all of them at the beginning of the year, so they just assumed it was common knowledge that everyone knew). When I saw the teacher I’d subbed for a few days later I told her about the juice box/wings incident. She turned to look at me and said “Oh, you didn’t know about the wings?!?”

My Pre-K teacher obviously let me down! 

 

[Mama Mia]

4 hours ago, rocket_girl said:

How on earth did I get to be 41 years old with 2 kids and not know this?!?

Seriously, this is on par with the time I was subbing in a Pre-K classroom and a 4-year old asked me to open her juice box. I opened it, but accidentally squeezed it in the process, leading to a puddle of juice on the table. The little girl looked at me with wide eyes and said “Don’t you know about the wings? You wouldn’t spill it if you used the wings...”

I guess my confusion was obvious because the next thing I knew she’d grabbed her friend’s juice box to show me how to lift the little flaps that are folded in on each side. Apparently, the “wings” make nice little handles that give you enough leverage to pop the straw in without accidentally squeezing the box and making a mess! I was so excited that I said “This is absolutely life-changing! I can’t wait to tell everyone I know about the wings!!”

The kids at the table all looked at me like I was bonkers.  They couldn’t figure out how someone could be a grown-up could and not know about the juice box wings (their teacher had taught all of them at the beginning of the year, so they just assumed it was common knowledge that everyone knew). When I saw the teacher I’d subbed for a few days later I told her about the juice box/wings incident. She turned to look at me and said “Oh, you didn’t know about the wings?!?”

My Pre-K teacher obviously let me down! 

 

I am mind blown with the practical knowledge I didn’t know ! And I already raised a ton of kids, and worked with babies and kids ! I always hated the onesies and used t-shirts instead. Damn.

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

Ah, potty training talk. It’s so nice to see it not get judgemental, which I’ve come across often! The minute my first turned two, I commenced “potty training”. It did NOT go well; I found myself getting frustrated that she wasn’t doing what I thought she was supposed to be doing and one day I at yelled at her over it which just stopped me in my tracks. So shameful! I stopped right then and waited until she was ready and it was a breeze. So that’s what I’ve done with all my children. I like to say that I let them potty train themselves, and they’ve all been in undies by just before or after their third birthdays. They’re such sweet little things, I don’t want to cause them stress over something inconsequential. 

[StraightOuttaArkansas]

On 7/12/2018 at 8:37 PM, Melissa1977 said:

*snip*

Daycare teachers told me that potty train a kid that is not ready is extremely frustrating for the parents and can have bad consequences for the health (constipation is the most common, which can be chronic if the kid is punished often).

*snip*

Snipped to respond. I am pretty sure we are actually dealing with this exact situation with DS1 right now. He is 14 and has had chronic constipation for nearly 5 years. No one knows what caused it and we have seen several doctors. He has a horrible potty training experience (I was an extremely young mother, in a bad relationship, no help or advice, way too much pushing) and I getting more and more sure this is what is going on. We just had a horrible set back involving his lying to us. He was going to visit family for 3 weeks and I was helping him pack his suitcase. I told him to take 10 pair of panties with him. Went to get him some out of the drawer, the thing is empty. This is a kid who grows slow and has around 35 pairs of panties. I had just washed socks and panties the week before (as a separate load). I dumped his laundry basket and only found 5 pair, I KNEW he had at least 6 plus the one he had on because we had bought him some new ones in a bigger size the week before with the plan to get rid of his smaller ones that should have been getting two tight once school was out and we had time. He told us with a straight face "Oh I have been getting rid of the ones that were too small. I just tossed them in the outside trash when I had a small pile". I didn't actually believe him, but his flight was the next day and I was sure I would figure it out while he was gone. I was expecting a typical teenage boy issue if you catch my drift. Not the case. We found the pile of 40 pairs hidden under his bed behind and underneath the drawer of the bed all with poo stains. We have not told him we found them yet since he does not come back till next week and I know this needs to be handled with care. I admit I was part of the shaming him when this first started about 5 years ago, because I didn't know that constipation actually cause and issue like this and he was never very good at wiping (although now I am questioning if wiping was ever the issue...huh.) What I do know is that my ex (who has gone to visit, long story) has heavily shamed him over the past years including a heated discussion with me while we were there in Feb, in front of the DS1. We (hubby and I) had obviously changed tactics and profusely apologized to him and explained to no end how we didn't know what was going on and we were so very wrong to just assume and how can we help him and making plans for getting this under control (if possible), but then this event has just happened. I don't know what to do. We are considering maybe he needs to talk to a therapist? He doesn't usually lie to us (that we know) and is actually a terrible liar anyway (bless him, he tries), he is a generally well behaved and (appears to be) relaxed kid. We are a quiet family, not yelling, broke the physical punishment cycle of my childhood, work hard on open communication. I just don't understand or know what to do next. Any advice is totally welcome. I actually feel comfortable admitting all this here, thank you all!

 

On 7/13/2018 at 12:42 PM, BundleofJoy said:

I don't have kids myself (but hopefully will in the future!) but a child psychiatrist I know told me that up to age 7 is not out of the normal range for potty-training, and for bed-wetting I think it was early to mid-teens before it becomes outside the normal range. So I just wanted to say that if you have a 4-year-old that you're still working on potty training with, that's okay! That's not late! Each kid has it's own pace

I wish I would have know this all those years ago.

 

On 7/13/2018 at 8:22 PM, Meggo said:

*snip*
(oh- and my other advice is that those crazy shoulders on onesies are designed to go DOWN over baby in case of a poop-splosion - which I did.not.know soo... I tell people that.) 

This was the neatest thing I have ever learned and I do this now. It has saved his hair and giant bath twice in his two months of life. I so wish I had know this with my first because he had a head full of hair that just...oh the memories are ewww. This needs to be told to every mom at birth by the nurses/midwives/whoever is there!

[Melissa1977]

@StraightOuttaArkansas I'm sorry to see you so worried. I think a therapist could work or some relaxing activity that makes him connect with his body (yoga, maybe?). In addition, I would go to a doctor, because long term constipation is related to the developing of other health issues. Your son is young and there's still much that can be done to avoid it. I personally would start with a probiotic suplement, but it's better if the doctor sees him before.

[melon]

I have to honestly admit I did have frustration when potty training my oldest son.I think I started too early,and wasn't consistent.

He was partially trained by 2.5,meaning he urinated in the toilet(he preferred the big toilet,we used a step stool),but he would not poop in the toilet for almost another year..he was 3 and 4 months.I received a lot of flack,mostly from my mother and my in-laws.I tried to get him to sit on the toilet,but no luck.My mother criticized me...she kept saying "what's wrong?what's wrong?...like it was all my fault,which made me feel bad.My in-laws said I should spank him.I refused.One day,I caught him and made him sit on the toilet..and it finally clicked for him.He was and still is a heavy sleeper.He wet the bed,sometimes,until he was 5.

My middle son showed signs of readiness at 2.5.Before he took a bath,I'd encourage him to sit on the potty(he preferred the potty chair,closer to the floor)..and he did..then one day his diaper was dry,so I put him in training pants.I know some say you should not use bribes,but it worked for him,and within a few weeks he was trained.

My youngest son was 3.He had surgery,starting at 1,for partial excision of a hemangioma on his leg.He was going back and forth for surgery until he was 6.So,I waited.Plus,he had very little interest.His lack of interest was frustrating,I have to admit,plus he was a big baby, a big boy and a big man...so when he was 3 ,he looked older,so I  got flack with him,too.He was telling me which brand of diapers he wanted,when I tried to encourage him...he'd say "No,go buy diapers....Wuvs dewuxe(Luvs Deluxe) or Pampers Pwus( Pampers Plus).One day I just told him,"Here's your training pants..the trash man took your diapers".He was the easiest one of all,once he started going.He had a few accidents,but within 3 days was dry...the bowel training took a little longer for him,again bribes worked for him..and within two weeks or less,he was potty trained.