Bro Gary Hawkins 7: Asking For Thoughts and Chairs

[MayMay1123]

this morning g-haw tells us that he was unfriended for standing up for the kjv bible. the comments include:

A New Corrupt Man Made Version when we have the Original

I believe it is a word for word translation

I can pick out a counterfeit bibles like treasury agents can pick out counterfeit money.

and my personal favorite-God save the King!

[Dandruff]

12 hours ago, keepercjr said:

I can’t either.  Someone fluent in weenese needs to translate

 

Trying to adjust my working IQ to the Ween's...it sounds like the preacher lost his phone #s (HOW?) then found a card with the Ween contact info.  Maybe he wants his congregation to appreciate his own preaching more?

[Lisafer]

2 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

this morning g-haw tells us that he was unfriended for standing up for the kjv bible. the comments include:

A New Corrupt Man Made Version when we have the Original

I believe it is a word for word translation

I can pick out a counterfeit bibles like treasury agents can pick out counterfeit money.

and my personal favorite-God save the King!

I tried to read the comments under the post, but my brain started to hurt within thirty seconds. 

[Mar]

8 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

this morning g-haw tells us that he was unfriended for standing up for the kjv bible. the comments include:

A New Corrupt Man Made Version when we have the Original

I believe it is a word for word translation

I can pick out a counterfeit bibles like treasury agents can pick out counterfeit money.

and my personal favorite-God save the King!

When he says „...it don‘t need rewriting...“ ( ) does that mean he actually doesn‘t know that (most) other versions of the Bible are translations just like his precious KJV is a translation? Does he really think someone took the KJV and changed it and that’s how the other bible versions came to be? Can he really be that dense?                                    I know, I know, this is Bro Gary we‘re talking about... 

There is one comment from a Timmie Hawkins and his writing style is creepily similar to Bro Gary‘s. Is he a relative?

PS: There are new teeth pictures. Open his Facebook page at your own risk!

[Candydandy]

Well folks! I dared to look at his page and shouldnt have. There are no words to describe his teeth pictures. Guess his tent pitchin is slowin down, back to toothpasta and  $5 jewerry? At least he procured a veehickle. 

Sis Candy

[Snarkylark]

I won’t comment on the “whitening” toothpasta but from that little picture of G’s mouth, it doesn’t appear that his oral hygiene is too bad. His gums look decently healthy. And I’m not crediting his new toothpasta with that! But, eww! I don’t want to see inside your mouth, Bro G!!

[Georgiana]

4 minutes ago, Snarkylark said:

I won’t comment on the “whitening” toothpasta but from that little picture of G’s mouth, it doesn’t appear that his oral hygiene is too bad. His gums look decently healthy. And I’m not crediting his new toothpasta with that! But, eww! I don’t want to see inside your mouth, Bro G!!

It's easy to spend all morning flossing and brushing when you don't have a JOB to get to!  

[Palimpsest]

19 hours ago, keepercjr said:

I can’t either.  Someone fluent in weenese needs to translate

 

Oh, boy.  This one is easy.

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OK folks you don't get this every day.

Especially when you are Gary.

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Had a preacher call me Monday

And preachers calling me any day of the week is unusual.

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Was so upset because he had lost all his phone #

He probably dropped his phone in the toilet.  And he wanted a day off.

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was concerned that he could not get a hold of me

His usual replacement preachers were unavailable.  He panicked!

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Then he remember that he had a pray card

He shuffled through his junk drawer and found Bro. Gary's dead tree flier.  Bro. Gary left lots of them.

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He said Bro Hawkins When can you come Preach for us

He said I am up shit creek.

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So we are going back where people still like us

This is so not an everyday occasion.  Most people don't like Gary and Becks.  Could there be a reason that Gary may someday compute?

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Glad that I am serving a loving GOD that will that will use an old sinner like I

I don't care what kind of a sinner you are (or were) Bro. Gary.  But FFS I do wish the world (not just you) would learn to use "I" and "me" correctly.  Yeah, I am pushing back against the tide.  So sue me. 

I will give Gary a break here because he  seems to be functionally illiterate.   Unless this good ol' "semi-litrate" country boy act is just  - an act.

Bro. Gary is so farcical I sometimes find it hard to believe he is real.

[mango_fandango]

Sometimes all you need is a simple message.

(I was being careful not to include the teeth) 

[Dandruff]

Who wouldn't want to gain salvation through the words of a dude who can barely describe the effects of toothpaste?

[Ozlsn]

On 8/9/2018 at 1:43 PM, keepercjr said:

I can’t either.  Someone fluent in weenese needs to translate

 

Preacher: tell me they won't increase the media budget! Imply they might replace me! I'll show them!! After 2 weeks of Bro Gary they'll be begging to have me back, at a full time salary!

[Dandruff]

I'd love to see Bro on TV, being interviewed by someone intelligent.  I think it would be comedy gold.

[Gimme a Free RV]

9 hours ago, Dandruff said:

I'd love to see Bro on TV, being interviewed by someone intelligent.  I think it would be comedy gold.

I've got a TV.  If that happens, you could come over to my place and watch it with I.

[Dandruff]

3 hours ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

I've got a TV.  If that happens, you could come over to my place and watch it with I.

Me watch go thank, hallalooyer.

[mango_fandango]

Wouldn’t wait what? To get saved? 

[Dandruff]

2 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Wouldn’t wait what? To get saved?

Maybe he's suggesting not waiting for the Lord if you're not ready for the Lord, as if anyone would bother or it would matter in the least.

This is some pretty ripe Weenese, perhaps influenced by the little demon living up his air holes.

[RidiculousFundies]

I'm not a huge follower of G-Haw, but when things get too depressing over on Jrod's shenanigans, I come here for a pick-me-up. Never fails when I see a Haymun!!!! The mouth picture is just

[wallysmommy]

G-Haw provides comic relief and a bit of catharsis to wash away the foul feelings from reading Lori Alexander.

[Mar]

I am also Thanksful that Bro Gary try to Preach what GOD has laid on their Heart‘s. It is a honor that Bro Gary would share his Preaching with us.  Haymayyn halleluyer

[OhNoNike]

35 minutes ago, Mar said:

I am also Thanksful that Bro Gary try to Preach what GOD has laid on their Heart‘s. It is a honor that Bro Gary would share his Preaching with us.  Haymayyn halleluyer

It’s too bad God didn’t lose his phone #s, too. 

[Granwych]

10 hours ago, OhNoNike said:

It’s too bad God didn’t lose his phone #s, too. 

What's really too bad is that Bro Gary didn't lose his voice.

[smittykins]

"I don't desire it"?  Is he trying to say "I don't deserve it"?

[LovelyLuna]

I watched the beginning of a video linked above by @keepercjr. Bro started off with some greetings and one was: ‘I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.... enjoying their self’.  I started giggling and thinking about how Bro G hopes we are all enjoying masterbating today.  

[Granwych]

4 hours ago, LovelyLuna said:

I watched the beginning of a video linked above by @keepercjr. Bro started off with some greetings and one was: ‘I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.... enjoying their self’.  I started giggling and thinking about how Bro G hopes we are all enjoying masterbating today.  

He's the "Master" of his domain fer sure, being that his little Gary is the only domain he really has.

[Black Aliss]

How in the name of Rufus does one lose all their contacts? Did he have them just stored locally on his phone? Is that even still an option? Google apps fangirl here.