Kendra, Joe and Garrett Duggar, Part 10

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

On 7/15/2018 at 11:01 PM, Rachel333 said:

There was an article last year about women being pressured into sex (or outright raped) soon after giving birth. The author wrote another article the next day sharing the stories of more women who reached out after the first article to say it happened to them.

I saw the facebook comments on the first article and there were so many disgusting comments from men saying that it's their right to have sex with their wives no matter how soon after childbirth and women were just being whiny for complaining about this.

My father did this to my mother after at least two of my siblings.  My mother very hesitantly confided in me when I was an adult and getting married, but I already knew because my father had told me when I was a teenager.  He liked to vent to me when he was unsatisfied with his sex life, and rail about the past in detail - as far as I could tell, nothing was ever good enough and I'm still not sure what he wanted from me - to pressure my mother?  To volunteer?  I view men like this with nothing but contempt and a cold, hard heart.

[Greendoor]

I am so sorry you had such a wretched father @IntrinsicallyDisordered.  My deepest sympathies to your mother too.  

 

[BachelorToTheRapture]

I finally watched the birthing video yesterday and I was super impressed by Joe! He appeared to be doing everything possible to help Kendra and was not focusing on himself at all.

[bella8050]

Just caught up in a few of the CO episodes, including JoKen's birth special - was so happy to see a couple choosing legit care as a first option! Was especially nice after having just watched Joy's special seeing Jill and some other "midwives" with (most likely) sketchy credentials who couldn't tell the baby was breech till 20 hours into labor. I also cannot get past how young Kendra's parents look. I constantly confuse her mom for her sister and her dad for some adult Duggar kid that I thought I forgot about.

[Ivycoveredtower]

2 minutes ago, bella8050 said:

Just caught up in a few of the CO episodes, including JoKen's birth special - was so happy to see a couple choosing legit care as a first option! Was especially nice after having just watched Joy's special seeing Jill and some other "midwives" with (most likely) sketchy credentials who couldn't tell the baby was breech till 20 hours into labor. I also cannot get past how young Kendra's parents look. I constantly confuse her mom for her sister and her dad for some adult Duggar kid that I thought I forgot about.

and just think she's pregnant with baby number 8 . and not even forty. Kendra and her mother very well could be pregnant together again a few times. 

[bella8050]

@Ivycoveredtower that revelation creeped me out a bit in the episode, I would not want to be pregnant buddies with my mom!  It could definitely happen again.

[Ivycoveredtower]

2 minutes ago, bella8050 said:

@Ivycoveredtower that revelation creeped me out a bit in the episode, I would not want to be pregnant buddies with my mom!  It could definitely happen again.

Just think Lauren's mom is still having kids has a baby right now in fact so in the next few years we could see Lauren and her mom and Kendra and her mom all pregnant at the same time.  gives me Michelle and Anna flash backs wonder if there will be any creepy photo shoots like Anna and Michelle if that happens. 

[CarrotCake]

On 7/17/2018 at 3:59 AM, Audrey2 said:

For some reason, Joe and possibly John David strike me as the men most likely to want their wives to have hospital births as their birth plan. Based on her past two pregnancies, Jill seems to be for home birth, as does Jessa. (Yes, both have been in the hospital but, as we've discussed here, there's a difference between a birth plan and the actual birth). I can see Jill influencing Joy to try to have her babies at home as well. Anna has had successful home births also. Of the daughters who have given birth or are about to, I only see Jinger as possibly planning a birth that isn't a home birth. I doubt any of the other married daughters will plan a birth in a birth in a birthing center or a hospital- just a hunch.

I hope that Austin got a scare from the last birth and maybe pushes Joy to have hospital checks the next time. But it is also possible that he does not bother having an opinion about childbirth.

[Carm_88]

6 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

I hope that Austin got a scare from the last birth and maybe pushes Joy to have hospital checks the next time. But it is also possible that he does not bother having an opinion about childbirth.

The way that Joy was deferring to him during the wedding planning and dress shopping, I think Austin is one of those people who has an opinion on everything. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

one thing that really stuck out to me about the Joe and Kendra birth special was that we never saw Michelle I'm pretty sure that was her voice at the hospital telling Kendra she looked good and in the back seat with Garrett but she was never on camera and Jessa was the one who took point on baby prep at the big house/Kendra and Joe's house. it even sticks out to me more that I'm watching the si and Lauren wedding special and she's all over that one. 

[VelociRapture]

5 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

one thing that really stuck out to me about the Joe and Kendra birth special was that we never saw Michelle I'm pretty sure that was her voice at the hospital telling Kendra she looked good and in the back seat with Garrett but she was never on camera and Jessa was the one who took point on baby prep at the big house/Kendra and Joe's house. it even sticks out to me more that I'm watching the si and Lauren wedding special and she's all over that one. 

Yes, it’s been mentioned by others that Michelle appears to have filmed Garrett’s birth. I believe she filmed some of the other births as well. 

ETA: I think this is a decent enough compromise to be honest. It keeps her mostly off camera, but still allows her to be present during a special moment of one of her children’s lives. 

[seashell1025]

6 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Yes, it’s been mentioned by others that Michelle appears to have filmed Garrett’s birth. I believe she filmed some of the other births as well. 

 

I was thinking about this too! In the scene where JoKen were getting into the car to leave, I saw michelle's  reflection in the window and she was totally filming that part on her iphone. Not bad quality considering, either!  

[VBOY9977]

10 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

The way that Joy was deferring to him during the wedding planning and dress shopping, I think Austin is one of those people who has an opinion on everything. 

I didn’t get that vibe from him at all. Austin never really expressed his opinion when Joy asked him. When she asked him about their wedding cake he said she should decide because it was her cake. When she asked him about her hair on the wedding day he didn’t answer and Joy actually had to beg him to say something. He still didn’t say anything after that. 

I’ve seen a lot of people blame Austin for Joy’s behavior but for me it was all on her. 

[tabitha2]

Sounds like Joy might want to defer to him sometimes so it’s not all on her and he is apathetic. That’s not a good thing. Or more likely he takes charge at home, with running the camp  which he cares about and let’s her do whatever with “Female matters” 

 

[Carm_88]

7 hours ago, VBOY9977 said:

I didn’t get that vibe from him at all. Austin never really expressed his opinion when Joy asked him. When she asked him about their wedding cake he said she should decide because it was her cake. When she asked him about her hair on the wedding day he didn’t answer and Joy actually had to beg him to say something. He still didn’t say anything after that. 

I’ve seen a lot of people blame Austin for Joy’s behavior but for me it was all on her. 

I don't think Austin actually truly cared about any of that stuff. I don't think that he was in any way shape or form interested in the wedding. Neither of them were. I think that Austin's personality is that he has a lot of opinions, when it matters to him and Joy for the most part defers to him. So that's why the wedding was so stressful for both of them, they wanted to be married, but both were apathetic. 

The whole wedding situation? Felt like neither of them cared or got what they really wanted. They just had to play with the dog and pony show. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

I do have a soft spot for Joe. He does seem genuinely kind and thoughtful. This is a big relief and especially heartening to see in a fundie man. (I've met my share of non-fundie men that I would not describe as kind and thoughtful.)  He also stood out to me in Josiah's wedding video when he said you have to put her needs 1st. Joe seemed sincere and not just spouting the party line. 

[CarrotCake]

58 minutes ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

I do have a soft spot for Joe. He does seem genuinely kind and thoughtful. This is a big relief and especially heartening to see in a fundie man. (I've met my share of non-fundie men that I would not describe as kind and thoughtful.)  He also stood out to me in Josiah's wedding video when he said you have to put her needs 1st. Joe seemed sincere and not just spouting the party line. 

From all the Duggar/Inlaw-men Joe is also the only one that looks like he puts his wife on a pedestal.

To me it looks as if Ben at least sees Jessa as equal but the other men see their wives as less worth.

[tabitha2]

I would be rather seen as an equal and capable adult than be treated as a fawned on Princess

No one can be happy in a marriage like that for long.

 

[Audrey2]

5 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

From all the Duggar/Inlaw-men Joe is also the only one that looks like he puts his wife on a pedestal.

To me it looks as if Ben at least sees Jessa as equal but the other men see their wives as less worth.

For the married Duggars (and in-laws,) I agree. I suspect that John David will put Abbie on a pedestal as well, based on the looks he gives her in videos and the way he talks about her. 

[tabitha2]

Abbie looks like she will dominate this soft spoken easy going guy actually...

 

[Ivycoveredtower]

Jill posted some pictures of Garrett from when he was born. I find it odd that Derick's mom was there. 

https://www.dillardfamily.com/2018/07/cousin-garrett-duggar/

[CarrotCake]

15 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

I would be rather seen as an equal and capable adult than be treated as a fawned on Princess

No one can be happy in a marriage like that for long.

 

Me too, but in Duggar world where women are always seen as inferior it might be nice if at least your husband treats you like that.

 

I agree that JD could be the same.

[Someone]

A bit off topic, has anyone ever wondered if Kendra's parents perhaps concieved her out of wedlock? Paul Caldwell's Facebook page says the Caldwells married in January 1998, and Kendra was born on August 11 that same year, so that's like 7 months after her parents' wedding... I know Garrett was born a bit before his due date, so that's possibly in Kendra's family, perhaps she was premature, but still...

Not trying to be mean and not that it matters, it's just fun to speculate a bit, haha. 

[singsingsing]

31 minutes ago, Someone said:

A bit off topic, has anyone ever wondered if Kendra's parents perhaps concieved her out of wedlock? Paul Caldwell's Facebook page says the Caldwells married in January 1998, and Kendra was born on August 11 that same year, so that's like 7 months after her parents' wedding... I know Garrett was born a bit before his due date, so that's possibly in Kendra's family, perhaps she was premature, but still...

Not trying to be mean and not that it matters, it's just fun to speculate a bit, haha. 

I think general consensus is that she was probably conceived out of wedlock, but we don't know for sure. It's not uncommon at all for fundies to have a more 'sinful/worldly' past and then become way more conservative (sometimes as an overreaction to whatever their 'sin' was, i.e. getting pregnant out of wedlock). Often they just own it, as it makes for an impressive testimony.

[Carm_88]

2 hours ago, Someone said:

A bit off topic, has anyone ever wondered if Kendra's parents perhaps concieved her out of wedlock? Paul Caldwell's Facebook page says the Caldwells married in January 1998, and Kendra was born on August 11 that same year, so that's like 7 months after her parents' wedding... I know Garrett was born a bit before his due date, so that's possibly in Kendra's family, perhaps she was premature, but still...

Not trying to be mean and not that it matters, it's just fun to speculate a bit, haha. 

It's been pretty well speculated that Kendra was indeed conceived out of wedlock. Converts tend to be the most zealous and I think that Paul Caldwell falls under that banner, I don't know much about Christina. I assume that she believes the things that he does. They haven't openly talked about it, that I have seen.