Kendra, Joe and Garrett Duggar, Part 10

[SapphireSlytherin]

4 minutes ago, pandora said:

I find it strange to blame just the woman for a decision that a man had a say in as well.

Oooookay.

My opinion ISN'T about Irish twins - it's about sex the same day (she bragged about that, for whatever reason) she delivered a baby. lol

[MsSaylor]

I dont...feel like thats possible. Wouldnt at least take a couple weeks to ovulate? Let alone the sex part. And I agree why would her partner agree to that or how would either  of them be interested. So weird. I have heard of of people getting pregnant like 4 weeks after giving birth. But the same day?

[KelseyAnn]

40 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Oooookay.

My opinion ISN'T about Irish twins - it's about sex the same day (she bragged about that, for whatever reason) she delivered a baby. lol

Ummm....why the hell does it matter when you SIL chose to have sex? That seems kind of really personal and more their business than yours. 

[Rachel333]

There was an article last year about women being pressured into sex (or outright raped) soon after giving birth. The author wrote another article the next day sharing the stories of more women who reached out after the first article to say it happened to them.

I saw the facebook comments on the first article and there were so many disgusting comments from men saying that it's their right to have sex with their wives no matter how soon after childbirth and women were just being whiny for complaining about this.

[SapphireSlytherin]

Well, actually, @KelseyAnn - she made it EVERYONE's business when she posted it on FB. lol

And I'm looking at it from my perspective of having given birth and trying to fathom letting a penis go right in there, immediately afterward. lol 

Big nope for me.

[SamiKatz]

1 hour ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Oooookay.

My opinion ISN'T about Irish twins - it's about sex the same day (she bragged about that, for whatever reason) she delivered a baby. lol

She didn't have sex by herself though.  Presumably a male person had sex with her, on the day she gave birth.  Wouldn't that make him an idiot as well?

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

My Aunt & Uncle had Irish twins they are 11 1/2 months apart. On my birth board on baby center, she had 2 babies in 1 calendar year 1 in February & 1 in November, her 2nd baby was born at I think 32 or 34 weeks I can't remember exactly but the 2nd one as in the NICU for about  6ish weeks, I just remember she came home for Christmas. 

My sisters kids are 18 months apart and would have been closer had she conceived sooner. She was 35 when her 1st was born so she wanted to have them as quickly as possible after she got married, the were married in December and started trying to get pregnant in November of that year and conceived in January, so pretty fast, and said it took 6 months the 2nd time so they could have been Irish twins.  I conceived the 1st time the 1st month of trying, and my 2nd one took 7 months, so it was a little strange that we both took so much longer the 2nd time around.  

[CancerBomb]

Uhhhhhh. I've never actually given birth, but wouldn't sex the same day you gave birth to about two weeks after be really painful? From what I've seen/read, new moms are too exhausted/sore to do anything like that, and their bodies need some time to recover from creating and delivering a tiny person. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

30 minutes ago, CancerBomb said:

wouldn't sex the same day you gave birth to about two weeks after be really painful?

For me, even SIX weeks out was painful...

[nastyhobbitses]

7 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

There was an article last year about women being pressured into sex (or outright raped) soon after giving birth. The author wrote another article the next day sharing the stories of more women who reached out after the first article to say it happened to them.

I saw the facebook comments on the first article and there were so many disgusting comments from men saying that it's their right to have sex with their wives no matter how soon after childbirth and women were just being whiny for complaining about this.

Presumably white American men yet again proving that they only want to kill the Taliban because they're mad that some brown guys came up with their ideal society before they could. 

[Rachel333]

41 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Presumably white American men yet again proving that they only want to kill the Taliban because they're mad that some brown guys came up with their ideal society before they could. 

Mostly Kiwis since it was from an NZ paper, but I think the same principle applies!

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

I finally got around to watching the birth special. Good for them for going to a hospital! When I heard Joe spelling his last name to the person at the front counter, I wondered if he got handed a "Birth 9, get your 10th free" punch card after that. Also, it was sweet to see him supporting Kendra through her labour.

[SorenaJ]

10 hours ago, MsSaylor said:

I dont...feel like thats possible. Wouldnt at least take a couple weeks to ovulate? Let alone the sex part. And I agree why would her partner agree to that or how would either  of them be interested. So weird. I have heard of of people getting pregnant like 4 weeks after giving birth. But the same day?

She didn’t necessarily get pregnant the same day, she just started having sex, but she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant there. It would take around 3 weeks (correct me if I’m wrong) to get pregnant after birth. So she started having sex on the day of the birth, but it took her 3 weeks to get pregnant. 

[OhNoNike]

You have to keep in mind that conception dates are a little skewed, too, because they add two weeks. It looks like you’re pregnant before you’re pregnant because of the date of your last period.  

[freethemall]

I don't understand how it's possible to have sex the day of your birth, you're so exhausted and focused on the baby and your healing. There's blood pouring out of you. You possibly have stitches and hemorrhoids (the post-partum symptom no one likes to discuss) and a new hole the doctor sewed up for you. I had an internal and external tear and stitches and sex was EXCRUCIATING for over 6 months, I would cry after a minute. Knife dick would be an accurate description.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, freethemall said:

I don't understand how it's possible to have sex the day of your birth, you're so exhausted and focused on the baby and your healing. There's blood pouring out of you. You possibly have stitches and hemorrhoids (the post-partum symptom no one likes to discuss) and a new hole the doctor sewed up for you. I had an internal and external tear and stitches and sex was EXCRUCIATING for over 6 months, I would cry after a minute. Knife dick would be an accurate description.

The only way I could see it is with a planned c/section, instead of your vag & whole body being sore and tired, your abdomen is cut open and hurts like a MFer.  But even still, YIKES! I was fine for sex 3 weeks after both my c/sections but it was gentle sex because my c/section area still hurt a bit.  

[VBOY9977]

New counting on promo I saw on their fb page shows Kendra getting an ultrasound from who I assume is her doctor (they did mention the doctor on the mini episode right?)

man I really hope the other girls follow this with their future babies 

[Audrey2]

30 minutes ago, VBOY9977 said:

man I really hope the other girls follow this with their future babies 

For some reason, Joe and possibly John David strike me as the men most likely to want their wives to have hospital births as their birth plan. Based on her past two pregnancies, Jill seems to be for home birth, as does Jessa. (Yes, both have been in the hospital but, as we've discussed here, there's a difference between a birth plan and the actual birth). I can see Jill influencing Joy to try to have her babies at home as well. Anna has had successful home births also. Of the daughters who have given birth or are about to, I only see Jinger as possibly planning a birth that isn't a home birth. I doubt any of the other married daughters will plan a birth in a birth in a birthing center or a hospital- just a hunch.

[AuntCloud]

On 7/9/2018 at 11:28 AM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I thank God, Rufus, anyone who will listen for my c/sections after reading about natural child birth. Then other days I'm sad I wasn't able to do it "naturally", add to that my inability to breastfeed with either of my kids makes me feel cheated at times.  Like my body failed me & my kids because I wanted to do both so badly, even though my body didn't cooperate.  Even 20 & 18 years out from my births I still feel a little cheated, but at the same time I'm grateful because had this happened 100 years earlier I would have died trying to deliver my 1st child and so would he. So while there is a touch of regret, I'm much more grateful that all 3 of us are here.

Yes, totally, absolutely this. Natural births: 0/2, emergency c-sections: 2/2, bonus points for micro preemies, long nicu stay and no successful breastfeeding. I’ve been around the interwebz for a while now and have seen it all: successful breastfeeding after emergency c-sections, with micro preemies, with preeclampsia. Heck, adoptive mothers and female partners of women who gave birth were able to breastfeed. If I would only read more, learn more, try more and want more, surely I would have succeeded! Mine are in high school and i still feel like a failure sometimes. Like you, I wouldn’t have made it out of the gate 100 years ago.

[VelociRapture]

13 hours ago, AuntCloud said:

Yes, totally, absolutely this. Natural births: 0/2, emergency c-sections: 2/2, bonus points for micro preemies, long nicu stay and no successful breastfeeding. I’ve been around the interwebz for a while now and have seen it all: successful breastfeeding after emergency c-sections, with micro preemies, with preeclampsia. Heck, adoptive mothers and female partners of women who gave birth were able to breastfeed. If I would only read more, learn more, try more and want more, surely I would have succeeded! Mine are in high school and i still feel like a failure sometimes. Like you, I wouldn’t have made it out of the gate 100 years ago.

My daughter’s premature birth was as ideal as could be - a 5 pound 34 weeker, one week in NICU, born healthy and strong - and I still had a lot of trouble coping with everything. For instance, I never got the hang of breastfeeding (because my daughter was on high calorie formula from the start) and constantly pumping was too much for me to handle with everything else I was dealing with, so I quit after just 3 months and switched exclusively to formula. It’s been 19 months and some days I still feel bad about that, but then I remember how healthy and strong my little buddy is and how I’ve done the best I could given our specific circumstances. I wouldn’t change a single decision I’ve made because if I did my daughter wouldn’t be the hysterical and perfect little person she is right now. 

Micro-preemie parents are some of the toughest and strongest parents around. You did the best you could in scary situations that most new parents thankfully don’t have to go through and your kids are doing well. I think it’s normal to feel regrets and guilt (because parenting is all about feeling guilty for something), but try to remember that you’ve done the best you could for your kids. 

[Carm_88]

If Kendra passes out while in pain, it makes more sense for her to go to a hospital. There is no point in suffering at home and having to call emergency services. They know it may happen, cut it off at the pass. Just go to the hospital 

[Runningfromreality]

38 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

If Kendra passes out while in pain, it makes more sense for her to go to a hospital. There is no point in suffering at home and having to call emergency services. They know it may happen, cut it off at the pass. Just go to the hospital 

I also have a condition where I often pass out when I'm in pain or have a drop in blood pressure for any other reason. I'm 6 weeks pregnant and you couldn't pay me to give birth anywhere but a hospital. I've been lucky and it hasn't happened in a while, but I would be a nervous wreck at home and that would make everything worse. Weirdly, seeing that Kendra had a similar problem and was able to labor and give birth without it being an issue made me feel a little more confident about the whole process. 

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

It’s been 19 months and some days I still feel bad about that, but then I remember how healthy and strong my little buddy is and how I’ve done the best I could given our specific circumstances. I wouldn’t change a single decision I’ve made because if I did my daughter wouldn’t be the hysterical and perfect little person she is right now.

Don't feel bad. This might be a very unpopular opinion, but I will say it anyway and face the FJ wrath : with regards to breastfeeding, my personal experience has not been a positive one due to the insane "pressure to perform" from lactation consultants, nurses, etc.

Every pregnancy is different, every birth and motherhood experience is different. I had a smooth, uncomplicated pregnancy, and, since we are sharing, my birth plan was a simple one: push it out  Joking aside, my plan was entirely natural, unmedicated birth if possible, medical intervention as needed/as seen fit by my doctor. We were lucky in that I was able to have exactly this birth, only a minor tear, and a healthy baby boy. I knew that birth was not going to be a walk in the park, but physical pain does not frighten me - I was a lot more anxious about what to do once the baby would come out. Physically, I bounced back almost immediately and was Skyping with my parents across the globe 2 hours after giving birth. Psychologically, the first 2 weeks were very difficult: I was not producing enough milk and my little nugget was rapidly losing weight, I felt really emotional/hormonal/stressed out (TG for my wonderful husband!). Lactation consultants put a lot of pressure on me, eg if you don't have enough milk you must not be pumping enough, take these medications, and so forth. Even my son's pediatrician rolled her eyes at "you must pump 8 times a day" comment. 

Although I loved breastfeeding my son, I was hating the whole process and myself for not being physically able to provide the nourishment he needed to thrive. 

As my son was not gaining weight as he should, right about at the 5-day mark we started supplementing with formula under doctor's instructions. I would both breastfeed and give formula, pumping when I could. At the end, I just did not have enough milk, and switched to formula completely. I now have a wonderful, healthy, happy 7mos old who is now having fun experimenting with solids!  As I said, everyone's experience is different, but FOR ME AND FOR MY SON, having formula available and saying F-U to the lactation consultants was the best thing that ever happened. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

15 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

For some reason, Joe and possibly John David strike me as the men most likely to want their wives to have hospital births as their birth plan. Based on her past two pregnancies, Jill seems to be for home birth, as does Jessa. (Yes, both have been in the hospital but, as we've discussed here, there's a difference between a birth plan and the actual birth). I can see Jill influencing Joy to try to have her babies at home as well. Anna has had successful home births also. Of the daughters who have given birth or are about to, I only see Jinger as possibly planning a birth that isn't a home birth. I doubt any of the other married daughters will plan a birth in a birth in a birthing center or a hospital- just a hunch.

I also think Kendra's mom probably had a big influence on her to have a hospital birth. they talked so much about how when she's in pain she passes out and we saw her need oxygen so I'm sure Mrs Caldwell wanted her daughter as safe as possible.

[feministxtian]

Sex after childbirth...the pig I was married to said "I need to strap a board across my ass to keep from falling in" after I gave birth to his fat-headed son (no kidding, the kid had a 14 1/2" head).

Feeding babies: just keep their little tummies full of something nutritious...formula, breast milk, chicken soup, tuna sandwiches...just please, feed them.