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Mr & Mrs Jill Duggar 60: The Shilling Dillards


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1 hour ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

My dad was a band director and high school counselor. He never EVER let himself be alone with any student - male or female - to protect himself from false accusations.

Doctors do this, every time I've had a male doctor do any type of "female" exam on me, they have another person in the room, usually a nurse, a few times when I was pregnant, the OB had a male intern with him. This was for THEIR protection, so there was a witness in case a ticked off patient or a scammer couldn't claim sexual assault. 

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43 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Doctors do this, every time I've had a male doctor do any type of "female" exam on me, they have another person in the room, usually a nurse, a few times when I was pregnant, the OB had a male intern with him. This was for THEIR protection, so there was a witness in case a ticked off patient or a scammer couldn't claim sexual assault. 

It's for the patient's protection/comfort as well (at least nominally). In a lot of places it's required that there be someone of the same sex as the patient present in that situation, which wouldn't be necessary if all they needed was a witness.

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3 hours ago, wotdancer said:

I have a relative who is a Baptist pastor, and he told me once that he follows that rule to protect him from being accused of acting improperly. I am not a fan of the Billy Graham rule, but that explanation made more sense to me than my initial reactions.

If you didn't do things that would be construed as sexually predatory (or did things that were sexually predatory), you wouldn't get those sorts of accusations, and false ones would be pretty easily disproven. Just my take on that. 

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14 hours ago, TheOneAndOnly said:

Why aren't men more angry about that rule honestly? Do they not realize they're being accused of rape any time they're alone with a woman?

It's like the men who get all exercised about women wearing short skirts etc - it's men saying that all men are wild beasts, and can't be trusted not to just leap on a woman, out there on the street, if he happens to get aroused.  Genuinely don't understand why other men aren't more angry about being described as barely a step above animals.  But then, it's the same with the Incels and Incel-defenders saying that if men don't get sex with the type of woman they want, it's natural they go on murder sprees - and at the same time, men are the rational gender, who are the only ones intelligent enough to rule... :dontgetit:

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We had patient falsely claim that they've been sexually harassed. (After we discovered that they weren't actually sick... it was insurance fraud). So for each little thing - taking blood pressure, serving dinner - we had to have 2 nurses of the same gender.

But I've been on the other side of that before too. A doctor taking an unnecessary ECG so he could see me topless, a male nurse taking great pleasure in giving me a sponge bath twice a day when I was on strict bedrest (once for the old ladies in the same hospital room), inappropiate comments from paramedics...

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8 hours ago, wotdancer said:

I have a relative who is a Baptist pastor, and he told me once that he follows that rule to protect him from being accused of acting improperly. I am not a fan of the Billy Graham rule, but that explanation made more sense to me than my initial reactions.

Oh, this reasoning makes me most angry of all. It implies that the women of these men’s congregations are out to get them and it then punishes them by not being able to have an as close relationship with the leaders of their church. In baptist churches, where this rule is heavily followed, men are almost always the leaders of the church. They’re almost always the ones who have been to seminary. So this rule allows men to be able to conversate about theology with the leaders much easier than women, meaning it’s easier for them to learn about it. I’ve gone to quite a few baptist churches. I’ve seen men act improperly. I’ve never heard of a woman making false accusations. 

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9 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

My dad was a band director and high school counselor. He never EVER let himself be alone with any student - male or female - to protect himself from false accusations.

I know a lot of teachers (including both classroom teachers and members of the executive) and they all have a similar rule. Some of them have also talked about it as a protection for the children too, in teaching them that adults shouldn't be taking them to a private place and closing the door. 

I can see why people have this sort of rule in some environments like teaching or medicine, but feel differently about it in a corporate environment. I flew around the country with a male coworker and often had times when we were alone together. If either of us had had that rule, we wouldn't have been able to do our jobs! 

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5 hours ago, adidas said:

The Dillards have a new video up on their website - they’re in a pool. Izzy was loving it. I muted my phone a short way in because my dog is trying to sleep next to me and she gave me stink eye when Izzy said ‘look at me’ :D

https://www.dillardfamily.com/2018/06/family-time-at-the-pool-june-2018/

 

So funny that Samuel is wearing nike togs :jawdrop:

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In defense of the actual Billy Graham, he was smokin’ hot and women really did hit on him constantly. Setting a rule that he wouldn’t do one-on-one pastoral counseling, etc., reduced the problem.

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6 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

In defense of the actual Billy Graham, he was smokin’ hot and women really did hit on him constantly. Setting a rule that he wouldn’t do one-on-one pastoral counseling, etc., reduced the problem.

I guess there are women with Frankenstein monster fetishes. Seriously, Google image search  "young Billy Graham" and tell me I'm imagining things.

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37 minutes ago, TheOneAndOnly said:

I guess there are women with Frankenstein monster fetishes. Seriously, Google image search  "young Billy Graham" and tell me I'm imagining things.

You're definitely NOT imagining things!!!! Haha no thanks!!!!

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I think in teaching and medicine, having someone in the room besides the doctor and patient or teacher and student is a way to protect the student or patient from the power imbalance that would otherwise be in play. I don't have a problem with that. 

But for normal situations between two adults, it's just fucking stupid. Also, it completely ignores any orientation that is not straight. Are lesbians not allowed to be alone with a woman? If you have a straight man and a lesbian woman, can they be alone together? What if you're bi, are you not allowed to be alone with anybody in case your sexual urges completely overwhelm you? *rolls eyes*

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That didn't look like Jill was wearing the required modesty swimwear. Or modesty drown wear as I like to call it.

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13 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

My dad was a band director and high school counselor. He never EVER let himself be alone with any student - male or female - to protect himself from false accusations.

My son is an athletic director at a local high school.He does the same.

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Okay,not quite the same but I was sexually harassed at work.Another worker,first asked me why I was quiet.I attempted conversation...asked him if he had kids etc..he then told me that the reason..I produced only male children was because I did not take charge in bed..I had enough of that...red flag city when a person talks that way..so I tried to avoid him..he kept asking me to meet him "somewhere",offered to buy my lunch..wanted me to meet for a beer etc...I told him No,I wasn't interested...several times..other workers even saw him go out of his way to talk to me.This man even asked me if it was because of his race.I said it was not,it was because I am married and he obviously did not respect that.That employer had an a program where I could have reported him anonymously..which I realize is what I should have done.But,when I told a friend..she said I was leading him on.He  got hurt on the job..not that I wish that on anyone,but I was relieved when he did not return.

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4 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

In defense of the actual Billy Graham, he was smokin’ hot and women really did hit on him constantly. Setting a rule that he wouldn’t do one-on-one pastoral counseling, etc., reduced the problem.

Uh, really?

Spoiler

65b-7318.jpg?quality=85&strip=all&w=2000

To each her own, I guess!

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46 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

That didn't look like Jill was wearing the required modesty swimwear. Or modesty drown wear as I like to call it.

We really didn't get a good look at Jill,  but it looked like she was wearing a normal skirted swimsuit with perhaps some shorts on underneath.  That "WholesomeWear" seemed to have been frumpier.  Did they have sleeves?

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15 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

If you didn't do things that would be construed as sexually predatory (or did things that were sexually predatory), you wouldn't get those sorts of accusations, and false ones would be pretty easily disproven. Just my take on that. 

But here have literally been cases where men/women have been freed years or even decades after having been accused of such behaviors. I don't think it's at all silly to want to avoid such accusations. 

Also, it can protect others as well. If Male teachers or counselors are never alone with students, they'll have a harder time using thier position and power to abuse a young girl or boy. 

9 hours ago, TheOneAndOnly said:

I guess there are women with Frankenstein monster fetishes. Seriously, Google image search  "young Billy Graham" and tell me I'm imagining things.

Damn, his head is literally a square. 

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On 6/15/2018 at 1:51 AM, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I worked for a veterinarian with handwriting like that. "Hey doc? What did you write on this chart yesterday? I can't read it."  "Yeah, no idea. I can't read it either." I hope for his sake he can take notes on a laptop these days. :pb_rollseyes:

And for the fluffy animal’s sake...it’s a real problem if a doctor can’t read a patient’s chart.

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29 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

And for the fluffy animal’s sake...it’s a real problem if a doctor can’t read a patient’s chart.

Fortunately, it never caused a problem with diagnosis or treatment, as far as I know.

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cub scouts have that rule too, it's called  "two deep leadership"

Same goes with texting and emails- you're supposed to cc/group message their parent, another leader, or some other adult when communicating

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On 6/16/2018 at 10:34 PM, wotdancer said:

I have a relative who is a Baptist pastor, and he told me once that he follows that rule to protect him from being accused of acting improperly. I am not a fan of the Billy Graham rule, but that explanation made more sense to me than my initial reactions.

That's what I was thinking too when I heard of this rule sure it seems sucky but in a weird way it makes Sense when most assault cases are he said she said. It sucks that people have to protect themselves that way but I think it's smart. 

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I'm annoyed that, in a conversation about whether an adult women should be allowed to meet one on one with an adult male as equals and co-workers, there are people bringing up teacher/student and doctor/patient relationships. They are not the same fucking thing. A teacher is in a position of incredible authority over usually under aged students who are, by nature of the huge power imbalance and age difference, vulnerable.  I have had a male doctor, and he only called in a nurse when he had to do a pelvic exam - again, when I would be in a vulnerable position. 

If I want to meet with my pastor, I should be able to do so without another woman in the room. If I need to talk to my boss, or want to hang out with a co-worker. Same thing. 

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It disturbs me that some of these posts are giving off vibes of "oh, the poor pastor has to protect himself from these slutty women!" That's not how it works. Women are far more likely to be abused or harassed by men, not the other way around. I'm not saying this to piss people off, but a man instigating the "Billy Graham rule" is discriminating against women. In effect, he is saying that women are not to be trusted. It gives him the appearance of being a moral, upright man, while simultaneously disenfranchising half his congregation. 

I would be very suspicious of anybody I met who tried to enforce that rule. I would wonder why they were introducing a sexual concept into something that was not sexual, and why they saw the need to treat me, as a woman, differently than a man.

 

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