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Coconut Flan

Boyer Sisters Part 7: One Still Creative

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nausicaa

I'm just wondering what is so selfless about being a stay at home wife? Considering Chatlotte chose this, they don't run a farm, and neither has serious medical issues, I imagine she has plenty of free time to relax and pursue her interests.

I've always gotten the impression the "mom self care" movement started because it's so demanding to be a mom and can consume your whole life. That's pretty much the opposite of her current day to day life.

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Waffle Time
Palimpsest
1 hour ago, nausicaa said:

I've always gotten the impression the "mom self care" movement started because it's so demanding to be a mom and can consume your whole life. That's pretty much the opposite of her current day to day life.

The Boyer sisters have always been very into self-care.  With an added obsession about gut health in Charlotte's case.   

I'm pretty sure it was Charlotte who sanctimoniously blogged about simplifying her closet because she found getting dressed in the morning so stressful.  When she wasn't even planning to leave the house!  All that navel-gazing was incredibly stressful and exhausting so those essential oils were vital.

So as they've claimed to find the least little things terribly stressful even as underemployed SAHDs, she's using this season of her life to get into practice for motherhood.  And, given Charlotte's history, I predict that she'll be more stressed (but blessed) by motherhood than anyone else on the planet.  Ever.  

All that said, I feel sorry for many of these brainwashed Fundie girls in the gap between marriage and fulfilling their womanly destiny though reproducing.  The excitement of the wedding is over, they often miss their siblings, and many of them seem to flutter around aimlessly for months without nearly enough to keep them busy. 

But they can't complain because they are supposed to be living the dream.  They aren't supposed to work outside the home and there isn't much real housework to do for only two people.  Picking your husband's dirty socks and underwear off the floor, rearranging the wedding gifts, inspecting your pantry, and meal planning for a month in advance must get old pretty quickly.  

Edited by Palimpsest

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charmedforsure
8 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

The Boyer sisters have always been very into self-care.  With an added obsession about gut health in Charlotte's case.   

Yeah, looks like Charlotte abandoned the gut health thing because she has admitted to scarfing down Taco Bell like everyday in her Insta stories. 

Hey, I get that you might live in a smallish town and want something quick for a bite to eat, but girl, that isn't proper nutrition for a growing baby.

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SolomonFundy

Pregnancy cravings can be a bitch, so I didn't throw much shade on the Taco Bell for its own sake. 

But she has publicly posted about eating fast food or take-out at least three times in the past four days. She's #kneedeep in completely empty days of roaming around in a fixer-upper than she seems to never actually work on herself. (I enjoyed the instagram post with the steps that she isn't interested in painting right now, because it will be "easier" to do it after the baby comes when there is "more time".) I particularly enjoyed the "Friday Introduction" post today where she spent 95% of the paragraph describing both the clothing she is actually wearing, and other clothing that she could potentially wear on "a good day". 

Her life seemingly consists of waiting for her husband to get home from work, so that he can work on the house, so that she can put mail-order furniture in it when he's done and call herself "obsessed with interior design".

 

I remember thinking her days were empty when she and Jessica were in full-bore SAHD frenemy mode after Brigid married. But this is just a whole 'nother level.

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JermajestyDuggar

Remember when Jill Duggar seemed bored out of her mind for the 9 months she was married but hadn’t had a baby yet? She would drive to Derick’s work everyday to meet him for lunch. Now she is quite busy with her two young boys. It’s kind of sad that Charlotte will go from total boredom to 24/7 mom mode overnight.

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Paperplate
6 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

[...]

I particularly enjoyed the "Friday Introduction" post today where she spent 95% of the paragraph describing both the clothing she is actually wearing, and other clothing that she could potentially wear on "a good day". 

[...]

LOL, yeah. Who cares what kind of pants she wears? It's not like her outfits are special in any way.

 

On 1/24/2020 at 12:13 AM, browngrl said:

I am decidedly not a fundie but I have just decorated my home in a way that I think Josie Balka and Charlotte Brandyberry (among other fundies) would heartily approve of. It is all shades of grey (I think the grey I've used for the living room is the same shade of grey Whitney Bates chose). The only pops of colour are muted orange (like Campbell Morton seems to like) or muted mustard/rust (as Charlotte seems to like). I have a sofa that looks a bit like Charlotte's too.  It is a very monochrome decor scheme. Well I don't care if the fundies share my decor sensibilities! I love the drab colours - so soothing, so calming.  😀

I didn't want to insult anyone's tastes. Sorry! The way the pictures are framed and edited just seems sad and bland to me (Charlotte's, not Whitney's).

Edited by Paperplate
typo

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browngrl
6 hours ago, Paperplate said:

I didn't want to insult anyone's tastes.

No worries - I assumed as much and while my house decor makes me happy but I acknowledge it might be characterized as bland and  basic. It's all good 😀

one story about Taco Bell in pregnancy

I used to work in a clinic that had a number of young pregnant girls. We started up a support group for these young teen moms. Anyway, one day I was talking about nutrition in pregnancy and the girls all chimed in to tell me they  were already in the know and proudly said they were eating Taco Bell every day. Turned out they'd discussed it amongst themselves and all agreed that Taco Bell was the best pregnancy food. 

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Petronella
On 1/24/2020 at 4:40 PM, Palimpsest said:

I'm pretty sure it was Charlotte who sanctimoniously blogged about simplifying her closet because she found getting dressed in the morning so stressful.  When she wasn't even planning to leave the house!  All that navel-gazing was incredibly stressful and exhausting so those essential oils were vital.

Oh my. That sounds exhausting. I'm an introvert and love having a lot of my life at home, but that would be a signal to me to get out and do something quick.

On 1/24/2020 at 4:40 PM, Palimpsest said:

All that said, I feel sorry for many of these brainwashed Fundie girls in the gap between marriage and fulfilling their womanly destiny though reproducing.  The excitement of the wedding is over, they often miss their siblings, and many of them seem to flutter around aimlessly for months without nearly enough to keep them busy. 

But they can't complain because they are supposed to be living the dream.  They aren't supposed to work outside the home and there isn't much real housework to do for only two people.  Picking your husband's dirty socks and underwear off the floor, rearranging the wedding gifts, inspecting your pantry, and meal planning for a month in advance must get old pretty quickly.  

My husband and I lived on opposite coasts before we got married, so one or both of us were going to have to move. He worked in a career he loved, while I worked a day job to support my avocation, so I quit and moved to where he lived. We agreed that his salary could support me focussing on my freelance and creative stuff. You may have felt sorry for me, but I'm very introverted and revelled in having time and space to myself, as well as in exploring my new community in a relaxed way and planning fun things for us to do on weekends.

Some of my friends have said they would never quit working because they don't want to "stay home doing nothing." This always bugs me. Why does "not having a job" mean "literally not leaving the house and literally doing nothing within it"? Plenty of my other friends would love to quit working so they could have more time to do the things that interest them: acting, music, writing, going back to college, historical costume sewing, etc. A job isn't the only way in life to well-use time.

I think you're right that most fundie maidens would be happier if they could explore their talents and interests without constraint. I just want to speak up for "staying at home" without kids not necessarily being a mindless snoozefest. It can be great and fulfilling!

On 1/25/2020 at 2:15 AM, SolomonFundy said:

I enjoyed the instagram post with the steps that she isn't interested in painting right now, because it will be "easier" to do it after the baby comes when there is "more time".

Hahahahahahahaha! Did she really???? Oh my. Reality is coming...

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JermajestyDuggar

I am a SAHM (for 7 years now) and I think you have to have the initiative to pursue new things to keep your interests going. It’s like people who need the initiative to start their own business. Some people are better at taking direction from others in their job (that’s me) and some are good at running their own business. I couldn’t start my own business. As a SAHM I have found myself very bored at times while very busy at other times. My youngest will be going to kindergarten next year and I’ve decided my new job will be to be room parent. I could never be the president or Vice President of PTA. That is so not in my personality. I can lead if I’m forced to, but I hate it so much. I’m better at taking orders. Maybe that’s why my 5 year old orders me around so much 🙄

Edited by JermajestyDuggar

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usedbicycle

I don't get it... The last I followed Moddyapple, I thought Charlotte had become a nerdy/skilled computer person who loved the city and got a legit job working for a small tech company, where she eventually met her husband. Even her wedding pictures looked urban and sophisticated. I guess I gave her way too much credit. The geeky husband is just another fundie and her "career" was just another way to pass time before becoming someone's wife, like other girls tutor Duggar children or write Moody books...

In a way I'm a little jealous. Here I am 38 weeks pregnant and still working (a relatively easy desk job). I would go nuts at home by myself for 9 months, but man, I could use a break now.

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JermajestyDuggar
27 minutes ago, usedbicycle said:

I don't get it... The last I followed Moddyapple, I thought Charlotte had become a nerdy/skilled computer person who loved the city and got a legit job working for a small tech company, where she eventually met her husband. Even her wedding pictures looked urban and sophisticated. I guess I gave her way too much credit. The geeky husband is just another fundie and her "career" was just another way to pass time before becoming someone's wife, like other girls tutor Duggar children or write Moody books...

In a way I'm a little jealous. Here I am 38 weeks pregnant and still working (a relatively easy desk job). I would go nuts at home by myself for 9 months, but man, I could use a break now.

You want to hear my biggest gripe working in an office and being 9 months pregnant? I couldn’t hold in a fart to save my life. I was always so worried I would fart near a coworker 🤣

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SoybeanQueen

I craved Taco Bell so hard with my first pregnancy. That and Schlotsky's club sandwiches drenched in their hot sauce.

I was a SAHM for many years, by my own choice, and I worked from home for a while, as well. I spent a lot of time volunteering and getting involved in local organizations. I wanted to be at home with my children, but I also wanted them to see that their mother was a human being with a working brain and heart, who has an identity beyond wife and mother. It isn't that I don't treasure being a wife and mother. Those are my best roles, closest to my heart. But I am more than that, too. Serving others and my community remains an important part of our family's values. I am thrilled that my kids have learned this from their parents - not just writing a check or paying lip service to a cause. They get in there and get things done.

SAHMs, or SAH wives, can be so much more than housekeepers and cooks. It helps that my husband didn't expect that I would be sitting at home re-cleaning the kitchen when he arrived home, of course.

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Waffle Time
Palimpsest

@Petronella, I completely agree and (introverts unite) I did exactly the same thing.  I had the opportunity to take early retirement and leaped at it.  I went freelance and work from home.  It wasn't much of a risk because luckily we knew we could survive on one income if I couldn't make it as a freelancer.  I kept busy, but am now semi-retired.  My choice. 

I am never bored and could probably happily go a couple of weeks without talking to a soul except for Mr. P.  And, like @SoybeanQueen I have also done a lot of volunteering because I now have time for it. But it's not for everyone. 

I was thinking more of some of the Fundie brides we've observed over the years.  One of them (it will come to me) had the courage to actually blog about being very lonely and feeling at loose ends in that gap after her wedding and before baby #1.

@usedbicycle, many congratulations on the new little baby bicycle.  

You have to love Charlotte.  From wanna-be Andrews sister, to Young Living entrepreneur, to 9 to 5 career girl, and now back to homebody.  All in a couple of years.  I always have to remind myself how young the Boyer sisters are.  I'm sure I reinvented my image a few times between the ages of 16 and (what is she now 21) too.

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Paperplate

Charlotte is still super busy navel-gazing in her overly monochrome home, finding her whole life oh-so interesting. I can't believe ppl actually like her content.

Like, why would anyone care what kind of jewellery this "mama" (who currently has zero children outside of her body*) wears on a daily basis? Especially if the selection lands on wedding ring, random earrings and a necklace. Earth shattering!!! She's probably the only woman ever on this earth to wear an ensemble like that. 🙄🙄🙄

Is she actually angling for a promotion deal from someone or does she really, truly think that this is worth putting on the internet?!?

Currently she's promoting salami (i.e. raw meat!) as a great pregnancy snack. And she apparently also thinks that dates contain fats?!?

Whoa, we've got ourselves a real expert here.  🤦‍♀️

IMG_25FF739294C3-1.thumb.jpeg.396ca197f574bd4014bdd61605fc7d04.jpeg

*Not saying pregnant women aren't mothers to their unborn children. I just find it a bit rich when she constantly calls herself "mama" and gives out advice etc. all while implying having experience that she simply does not have.

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charmedforsure
15 hours ago, Paperplate said:

Currently she's promoting salami (i.e. raw meat!) as a great pregnancy snack. And she apparently also thinks that dates contain fats?!?

Spoiler

IMG_25FF739294C3-1.thumb.jpeg.396ca197f574bd4014bdd61605fc7d04.jpeg

 

She's already into Trim Healthy Mama, just like Zsu. And they're high fat, low carb, using artificial sweeteners (unlike Zsu using actual sugar, which defeats the point). But Charlotte probably isn't seeing an OB, and is most likely seeing a midwife, or just planning on winging it at home, so her dos and don'ts for pregnancy nom noms is limited to what she reads in books, or on pinterest/Blogs/instagram. Even I, a single pringle, know that you shouldn't have cold cured meats/fish, nor raw/undercooked meats/fish, or soft cheeses during pregnancy. 

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JermajestyDuggar

Charlotte has said that they will be calling the baby “Fritz” online for the sale of privacy. Which is 100 percent fine by me. I’m cool with children’s privacy. However she just had to choose a pretentious online nickname for the poor lad, lol.

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jozina

I love that dates have fat but salami doesn't. Google - it isn't hard Charlotte.  And there's poor evidence that dates help to labour, it's more a tradition or idea from the Koran. Don't know how much Charlotte would delight in Islamic wisdom about birth?

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SolomonFundy

Considering the fact she and her entire family quit doing yoga because of a single blog comment that directed them to a different website where a racist nutjob equated Hinduism with Satanic worship, I'm guessing that she would quit eating dates immediately if someone suggested that Muslims even knew about them.

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