What Would Jesus Do? Get a private jet

[AmazonGrace]

Because you can never save any souls while traveling coach.

[acheronbeach]

Just look at this tacky, nouveau riche parasite.  Nothing says klassy like a noisy Burberry haymarket check shirt.  Blech!

[Palimpsest]

8 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Because you can never save any souls while traveling coach.

Oh please.  Commercial planes are full of demons.  Jesse says so.

This must be his 4th or 5th private plane.  God makes his preachers prosper.

 

[PennySycamore]

@Palimpsest,  well somebody makes them prosper, but it ain't God!  Could it be all those followers they fleece?

[47of74]

Yeah this is the same guy who along with Kenny Copeland thought they were too holy for commercial travel because they'd have to travel with the unholy demons regular people who would make it impossible for Jeeeezus (no relation whatsoever to Jesus Christ) to hear their prayers.

7 Surprising Reasons Why Kenneth Copeland and Jesse Duplantis Need Personal Jets

Quote

1. If I heard it correctly, God gave these pastors personal jets so they wouldn’t have to ride in a metal tube filled with demons … like the rest of us. Yes, there is the danger of demons–especially if you’re in the back of the plane, but, as pastors, aren’t we trying to reach people for Christ? Shouldn’t they look at air travel as a metal tube filled with lost souls who need saving? Calling them demons seems a weeee bit self-serving in this argument.

2. These pastors don’t believe you can conveniently pray on a commercial plane so the natural solution is a multi-million dollar personal jet. Problem solved. If only all our leadership problems had such a simple solution. In fact, sometimes I hear my kids fighting in the car when I’m trying to pray–so I should probably get a limo with a chauffeur, right? Baby I’m worth it. I kid, I kid.

 

 

[PurpleCats]

Y’all!! Why don’t we have ole John Schrader hear G*D calling him to come back to the states to fly one of these guys around??

[Mrs. Bean]

He is citing the “airport demons” as one of the reasons why he just has to have the new jet. Fake Christian charlatan.

[Hane]

Years ago, a televangelist tried to fleece his flock for a luxury car because “Jesus wouldn’t want me driving around in a little Honda.” My 12-year-old daughter snorted, “Jesus rode a donkey!”

[Loveday]

4 hours ago, 47of74 said:

Yeah this is the same guy who along with Kenny Copeland thought they were too holy for commercial travel because they'd have to travel with the unholy demons regular people who would make it impossible for Jeeeezus (no relation whatsoever to Jesus Christ) to hear their prayers.

7 Surprising Reasons Why Kenneth Copeland and Jesse Duplantis Need Personal Jets

 

 

I thought Pat Robertson was the worst when it comes to rationalizing stuff like this. These two make him look like a rank amateur. These two...well, I'm just speechless. I can't believe people buy their shit--and their jets. 

[TeddyBonkers]

As a Christian, he is called to behave like Christ. And if I recall my Gospel correctly, Jesus never backed down from demons, soooooo....

[anniebgood]

57 minutes ago, TeddyBonkers said:

As a Christian, he is called to behave like Christ. And if I recall my Gospel correctly, Jesus never backed down from demons, soooooo....

And Jesus wore sandals, and walked pretty much everywhere....Prosperity gospel was not in my Bible.

 

[Briefly]

6 hours ago, 47of74 said:

Yeah this is the same guy who along with Kenny Copeland thought they were too holy for commercial travel because they'd have to travel with the unholy demons regular people who would make it impossible for Jeeeezus (no relation whatsoever to Jesus Christ) to hear their prayers.

But regular people are the ones they are supposed to preach to and save, or at least that is what I thought.  But maybe I'm wrong about that, maybe they are just supposed to preach to the ones they can fleece.  I'm not wording it quite right.

[Lisafer]

3 hours ago, Mrs. Bean said:

He is citing the “airport demons” as one of the reasons why he just has to have the new jet. Fake Christian charlatan.

"Airport demons" is killing me. Are there "railroad demons" and "cruise ship demons" as well, I wonder?

[Palimpsest]

37 minutes ago, anniebgood said:

And Jesus wore sandals, and walked pretty much everywhere....Prosperity gospel was not in my Bible.

Nor in mine.

5 minutes ago, Briefly said:

But regular people are the ones they are supposed to preach to and save, or at least that is what I thought.  But maybe I'm wrong about that, maybe they are just supposed to preach to the ones they can fleece.  I'm not wording it quite right.

You are wording it perfectly.  Welcome to Prosperity Gospel.  Where wolves in sheep's clothing fleece fluffy little lambs so that they can live in the luxury to which they think they should be entitled.

Because Jesus would certainly have owned a private jet or seven. 

[Briefly]

2 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Nor in mine.

You are wording it perfectly.  Welcome to Prosperity Gospel.  Where wolves in sheep's clothing fleece fluffy little lambs so that they can live in the luxury to which they think they should be entitled.

Because Jesus would certainly have owned a private jet or seven. 

We watched different shows that we would tape and then watch on Saturdays when we were trying to become Fundie.  One of them was Joel Oteen. To me, he is the perfect description of Prosperity Gospel.  He didn't talk so much about everybody becoming rich if they did Christianity right, as much as things like the perfectly tailored suits he wore, the house he lived in, that sort of thing.  We didn't watch him too long, I basically told Mr. Briefly that Osteen was one of the worse ones I'd ever seen.  I know that there are a lot of Prosperity Gospel preachers out there and the Crouches were really bad.

[Georgiana]

Airport demons?  But airports are built with access to the sky.  Demons live in caves and holes where they can be closer to Hell!  Demons don't want access to the sky, that's heaven!  They can't go there!  I am SO CONFUSED on where demons live, you guys.  

2 hours ago, Hane said:

Years ago, a televangelist tried to fleece his flock for a luxury car because “Jesus wouldn’t want me driving around in a little Honda.” My 12-year-old daughter snorted, “Jesus rode a donkey!”

He CHOOSE that donkey too!  He probably could have arranged a very decent welcome if He wanted to.  He was pretty well hyped by that point. He chose to ride in on a donkey in a show of humility. I was always taught that was an important point.  

But idk, maybe the Roman Empire just had a good handle on "stable demons".  

[Palimpsest]

12 minutes ago, Briefly said:

Crouches were really bad.

Jan Crouch and her dollies for Jesus were one of my SMH until it falls off moments.

[KnittingOwl]

I saw the headline and really thought it was John Schrader.

[Black Aliss]

He definitely makes Bro. G. Hawkins look like a real piker.

[Ozlsn]

6 hours ago, Lisafer said:

"Airport demons" is killing me. Are there "railroad demons" and "cruise ship demons" as well, I wonder?

Well if you've read the Percy Jackson series (the original one) there are most definitely cruise ship demons... not too sure about railroad ones though!

6 hours ago, Georgiana said:

But idk, maybe the Roman Empire just had a good handle on "stable demons".  

Pretty sure they're mules. 

7 hours ago, anniebgood said:

Prosperity gospel was not in my Bible.

As far as I'm concerned Prosperity "gospel" is blasphemous. It still surprises me how many people get sucked in by con artists adding the word "Jesus".

[CyborgKin]

I'm flying in a few days to attend a friend's wedding.  I read something on the front page about FJ making millions of dollars from ads (I read that right, yes?) so can you all help me obtain a private jet to avoid the airport demons?  Thanks.

[16strong]

What do you mean this thread isn't about Creflo Dollar???

[BigTushieLady]

Is Creflo Dollar his real name? I've never heard anyone else having the last name of "Dollar." And Joel Osteen--I can't stand the way he smiles all the time. His smiles don't seem to be genuine either.

[Briefly]

46 minutes ago, BigTushieLady said:

Is Creflo Dollar his real name? I've never heard anyone else having the last name of "Dollar." And Joel Osteen--I can't stand the way he smiles all the time. His smiles don't seem to be genuine either.

I've heard of Dollar as a last name.  I don't think it's too common, though.  Joel Osteen looks like his face is frozen.  His smile is so creepy, but it never reaches his eyes.  His eyes look spooky.

[CyborgKin]

6 hours ago, Briefly said:

I've heard of Dollar as a last name.  I don't think it's too common, though.  Joel Osteen looks like his face is frozen.  His smile is so creepy, but it never reaches his eyes.  His eyes look spooky.

There's urban legends that his birth name is Michael Smith but nothing to substantiate them.  It's likely something someone edited into wikipedia and then it got referenced by articles that are now treated as sources   Anyhow his father is Creflo Augustus Dollar Senior so that seems reasonably legit.

On the other hand I like the jokes about how if he was Canadian he'd be Creflo Loonie.