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Lori Alexander 48: The Complaining of the Shrew


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23 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Imagine making so many bad decisions your children didn't trust your decision making anymore and called it into question. Children/teens are human beings who don't deserve having to suffer the consequences of their parents stupidity. Children and teens should be able to question decision and decide if they are good or bad. It's called developing critical thoughts. I'm not advocating disrespectful behavior but kids have rights too.

and no wives shouldn't just silently watch their husbands make terrible decisions. That's the opposite of being a keeper of the home. Keeper of the home means protecting it. 

3

Right. How will kids ever learn to make decisions if all the decisions are made FOR them? My kids can question anything I do or tell them as long as they're respectful. And you know what? Not only doesn't it bother me, it also has been incredibly beneficial because now I have kids I can trust to make good decisions, for the most part. Sure, sometimes they still make mistakes, but that's part of being human. When they make a mistake, we're here to pick them back up, dust them off and help them get back on track. And by "allowing" them to have their own opinions, I feel like we have a stronger connection and they trust me far more than if I'd been a drill sergeant mom. 

I can't imagine raising kids to be automatons.

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11 minutes ago, Demonfan said:

Men have more muscle mass, are generally larger than women, and have a lot more testosterone. This is a very simplified way of describing why men are considered stronger than women. Strong is a vauge term, that is hard to quantify. Men are faster runners than women at the highest levels. I think the idea that equal doesn't mean the same is good to remember when thinking about it.

I don't think it matters as much whether most men or women are stronger in whatever way one wants to compare-physical strength, endurance, ability to tolerate pain, mental, emotional, etc-as how do we treat the individual who doesn't fit within the 'norm,' the woman who has exceptional physical strength for example, or the man who has little muscle.  Do we keep the strong woman out of some jobs because she has a vagina, or compel that man to do heavy work regardless of qualifications?  

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20 minutes ago, Demonfan said:

Men have more muscle mass, are generally larger than women, and have a lot more testosterone. This is a very simplified way of describing why men are considered stronger than women. Strong is a vauge term, that is hard to quantify. Men are faster runners than women at the highest levels. I think the idea that equal doesn't mean the same is good to remember when thinking about it.

If we're only narrowing it down to muscle mass (or size), then yes, the average man might generally be stronger than the average woman.

But there's a lot more to strength than that. Women are more resilient when it comes to trauma. We're more likely to survive serious illnesses, and we have stronger immune systems to fight the little things (like colds). We're even longer-lived. And these differences start at birth (maybe before) -- male babies are less likely to survive than female babies. 

 

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The funny thing is, I suspect Alyssa (the ballet dancer amd fitness teacher) is far stronger, more flexible and has greater endurance than her 60-year old dad. 

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5 minutes ago, Hisey said:

The funny thing is, I suspect Alyssa (the ballet dancer amd fitness teacher) is far stronger, more flexible and has greater endurance than her 60-year old dad. 

Has he ever done physical labor, or has he always worked in more of an office setting?  It's possible that she may have more strength, flexibility, and endurance than he has ever had.  I don't mean that as a criticism of either (I've got plenty of criticism for him, but not in this context!), just a simple statement that these things aren't universal constants for men or women.  

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Comment left on today’s blog post: 

“Ava says:

June 19, 2018 at 6:23 am

Powerful truth. We are called to be silent. Our church does not permit female soloists for this reason. Ladies are permitted to sing but only as part of congregational hymns. My husband prefers that I keep conversation to the absolute minimum in church, as a sign of deference to the Word.

We do have challenges getting our girls to understand this – especially our 4 year old. We are teaching her the proper role for women in all things and she is such a help with the babies (2, 1 and expecting in August). But how can I help her understand that she must be silent as we sit in fellowship? We have services twice on Sunday and Wednesday. 

Soul winning Tuesday and Saturday is fine because she loves to talk about her savior!”

I can’t wrap my brain around it- no female soloists? She can’t speak to those around her? In their view it’s wrong to ask others how the week has gone, etc?

And training a 4 year old? Does she not get to experience childhood? How does one even approach teaching a four year old her proper role? 

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This lady has a 4 year old, a 2 year old, a 1 year old and is expecting?  You know child parentification is happening. Also it's nearly impossible to give them all the attention they need when you have some many small ones. 

None of that is scriptural, not one bit of that has anything to do with scripture. It's also isolating. For many church goers, especially stay at home moms, their source of socialization is at church. How are you supposed to fellowship with others when you can't talk? Its also a breeding ground for abuse. 

Jesus Wept. 

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3 hours ago, Frog99 said:

Comment left on today’s blog post: 

“Ava says:

June 19, 2018 at 6:23 am

Powerful truth. We are called to be silent. Our church does not permit female soloists for this reason. Ladies are permitted to sing but only as part of congregational hymns. My husband prefers that I keep conversation to the absolute minimum in church, as a sign of deference to the Word.

We do have challenges getting our girls to understand this – especially our 4 year old. We are teaching her the proper role for women in all things and she is such a help with the babies (2, 1 and expecting in August). But how can I help her understand that she must be silent as we sit in fellowship? We have services twice on Sunday and Wednesday. 

Soul winning Tuesday and Saturday is fine because she loves to talk about her savior!”

I can’t wrap my brain around it- no female soloists? She can’t speak to those around her? In their view it’s wrong to ask others how the week has gone, etc?

And training a 4 year old? Does she not get to experience childhood? How does one even approach teaching a four year old her proper role? 

I normally try not to use rude gestures, but if that was talked about in any church I stepped foot in I'd say, "screw you guys, I'm going home." and flip them all off. If my husband still wanted to stay that be fine, but he'd have to wall or find alternate transportation because my happy ass would be taking the car home.

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10 hours ago, KDA said:

But at the same time, my husband is definitely stronger than me physically. I wouldn't say he's stronger in any other way, though. And he's a big, exceptionally strong man, so he's probably stronger than the average man, too. 

Nursing homes and other elder care locations are chock full of women, few men. Men may be "stronger", but women have greater endurance. Men generally have greater upper body strength, but women have phenomenal lower body strength which is why we can push dem' babies out! I love my man's muscular and strong body but I want him to grow old with me too. 

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15 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

Nursing homes and other elder care locations are chock full of women, few men. Men may be "stronger", but women have greater endurance. Men generally have greater upper body strength, but women have phenomenal lower body strength which is why we can push dem' babies out! I love my man's muscular and strong body but I want him to grow old with me too. 

(If I have mentioned this, please ignore!) I spent my high school years working after school and summers at a nursing home in the kitchen. I remember 2 male nurses who were absolutely hilarious, but completely unprepared to deal with a particular resident "Honey". She had Alzheimer's and would frequently forget how to speak English, lapsing into her native German. Guess who got called down to provide translation and empathy for Honey?

This girl.

It takes an enormous amount of emotional strength to sit with a woman who is scared, who doesn't recognize anyone, and whose only translator is skilled in conversational German. I often left work in tears. I kept coming back, though. Honey needed me. When she passed, I was devastated.

 

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In reference to my previous post, I am in no way stating that men are superior in any way because of their physical difference to women.  We are different but equal. People should be free to pursue whatever they want and live a fulfilling life however they identify. My heart is breaking for Ava's daughter, I think we be all know how she will "train" her...

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1 hour ago, TeddyBonkers said:

(If I have mentioned this, please ignore!) I spent my high school years working after school and summers at a nursing home in the kitchen. I remember 2 male nurses who were absolutely hilarious, but completely unprepared to deal with a particular resident "Honey". She had Alzheimer's and would frequently forget how to speak English, lapsing into her native German. Guess who got called down to provide translation and empathy for Honey?

This girl.

It takes an enormous amount of emotional strength to sit with a woman who is scared, who doesn't recognize anyone, and whose only translator is skilled in conversational German. I often left work in tears. I kept coming back, though. Honey needed me. When she passed, I was devastated.

 

Bless you for being there for her.  The best care comes from the heart.

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I’m not baptist or southern baptist (I’m honestly not sure of the difference if there is one). I don’t know this J.D. Greear but I did look him up on FB and what I saw suggests he might be an ok guy- he’s speaking out against the border situation and appears to be willing to learn from people of color. As far as supporting women and redefining complementarianism, it seems that he wants to support women (and POC) into leadership positions, but I didn’t get the sense that he would push for women to become ordained. As far as “empowering “ women, my takeaway was that he recongnizes we all have gifts and should be empowered to use them. It’s not because women are owed something or demanding something not theirs. 

It will be interesting to see how it all plays out and what he’s really like- it’s not really relevant to me but I am a bit intrigued. 

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7 hours ago, Koala said:

A help with the babies?  Lady, she IS a baby.  And you and your husband are certifiable.  Dear sweet Jesus...

How on earth is a four year old a "help" with "babies"? Does she watch them? Diaper them? Carry them around? Lift them out of the carseat?

All of these things would be highly inappropriate.

9 hours ago, delphinium65 said:

Has he ever done physical labor, or has he always worked in more of an office setting?  It's possible that she may have more strength, flexibility, and endurance than he has ever had.  I don't mean that as a criticism of either (I've got plenty of criticism for him, but not in this context!), just a simple statement that these things aren't universal constants for men or women.  

According to the blog, he got a divinity degree, went to work at an orthodontic consulting agency, then started his own boutique agency. Sounds like he spends lots of time on the phone, on his computer, and in an airplane. 

Alyssa, OTOH, is trained in ballet. Ballet takes an enormous amount of strength and flexibility. I have done simple ballet in my exercise class and it is HARD. In fact, its funny that she's Lori's daughter. Lori is bent on proving women are weak, delicate  things in need of men's help. That's her whole schtick. Yet she has a daughter whose career is based on her strength and flexibility. Alyssa would not have a career if she was as "weak" as Ken. She needs to be stronger than the average middle-aged white collar guy like Ken, or she could not lead her classes or dance.

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I can imagine a four-year-old wanting to “help” with a baby eg holding it/feed it if it’s bottle-fed (with mom there of course, and more like holding the bottle)/entertaining it but that’s just natural curiosity and not really “helping” in a significant way. Given that this is a fundie girl, however... 

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On 6/18/2018 at 11:51 AM, SongRed7 said:

BINGO! Here's little info about Danielsville I found: "Compared to the rest of the country, Danielsville's cost of living is 16.90% lower than the U.S. average. The median home cost in Danielsville is $97,800."

That's actually more affluent than I would have expected. Still, that's ~1/10 the median home price where I live.

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3 hours ago, Frog99 said:

I’m not baptist or southern baptist (I’m honestly not sure of the difference if there is one). I don’t know this J.D. Greear but I did look him up on FB and what I saw suggests he might be an ok guy- he’s speaking out against the border situation and appears to be willing to learn from people of color. As far as supporting women and redefining complementarianism, it seems that he wants to support women (and POC) into leadership positions, but I didn’t get the sense that he would push for women to become ordained. As far as “empowering “ women, my takeaway was that he recongnizes we all have gifts and should be empowered to use them. It’s not because women are owed something or demanding something not theirs. 

It will be interesting to see how it all plays out and what he’s really like- it’s not really relevant to me but I am a bit intrigued. 

Former SB here! I'm trying to follow all of this pretty closely and I feel like Lori can't really speak to the issue. I doubt she's SB as Southern Baptists are typically very pro mission and volunteer work from what I've seen. Lori is not.

J.D Greear doesn't support women pastors but allows for leadership in some areas as you noted. He recognizes gifted was. But I am also interested to see where this goes  and Kudos for adding his voice to the many faith leaders speaking out  

Lori can say all that stuff about not needing empowerment because she literally is in a position of privilege. She's white, upper middle class, and has a widely read blog. She has a voice, now imagine how furious she'd be if someone took away that voice.

She claimed that she tries to follow the word as closely as possible... BS. I've spoken about her teachings with conservative bible majors and they all make faces of disgust and shake their heads. Her teaching is largely devoid of any biblical foundation or common sense at that. She lacks compassion, mercy, and love. She's quick to judge and gossip. She meddles in others business and pushes people away from Christianity. 

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48 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

I doubt she's SB as Southern Baptists are typically very pro mission and volunteer work from what I've seen. Lori is not.

You are correct. They go to a calvary chapel. I'm amazed she's not IFB.

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9 minutes ago, fluffy said:

I'm amazed she's not IFB.

Umm...us IFB type folks are very into missions, being active in the community, food trains, praying for others, helping others...Lori wouldn't fit in here either. She wouldn't hear all the sermons about "a woman's place" because there really aren't any. She wouldn't see "modest" dress really either. She'd see women wearing jeans to church, even our pastor's wife wearing capris! She'd pretty much be a pariah in my church...she'd be told to STFU in not so many words. I would love to see Ken attempt to go toe to toe w/my pastor though...dude I'd PAY to see that one. 

Our church runs the spectrum of women...we have skirts only, homeschooling types, we have pants wearing career women, we have a school and most of the faculty is....WOMEN. Hell, my pastor sent all three of his daughters to college (they didn't have a choice, they were going). 

Lori's "theology" gets pulled out of her ass...she wouldn't be happy in any church that didn't preach "the Gospel according to Kenori"

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10 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

Nursing homes and other elder care locations are chock full of women, few men. Men may be "stronger", but women have greater endurance. Men generally have greater upper body strength, but women have phenomenal lower body strength which is why we can push dem' babies out! I love my man's muscular and strong body but I want him to grow old with me too. 

And nursing requieres a great strenght in body. I saw small nurses partially lifting patients twice their size to change diapers, washing them, etc. without any help.

And I'm taller than the average man and pretty strong. I carried a heavy couch, a tall fridge and a washing machine together with my brother during our last move. His buddy was more complaining than everything else instead of helping and I wanted to get the shit done. I'm not made out of shugar. I want to see Lori and company do the laundry the old fashioned way. You need a lot of strength to wash clothing and esp the bedding by hand. I want to see them cooking the laundry, wringing them by hand and hanging them on the clothing lines. And after that we can talk again about weak women.

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4 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

doubt she's SB as Southern Baptists are typically very pro mission and volunteer work from what I've seen. Lori is not.

Lori is pro-Lori. I doubt she adheres closely to any belief system except the gospel of Lori. Whether they still attend Calvary Chapel (like @fluffy said, thanks!) or not, I would bet Lori doesn't hear anything that she disagrees with, because she ignores anything she doesn't like. Or, more likely, she resents anything that is said that she disagrees with, and saves it up as a reason to shop for a new church every so often. 

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Lori says:

Quote

It’s a fearful thing to be a teacher of His Word.

Is it a "fearful thing" to be a deleter of His Word?  Asking for a friend...

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15 hours ago, TeddyBonkers said:

(If I have mentioned this, please ignore!) I spent my high school years working after school and summers at a nursing home in the kitchen. I remember 2 male nurses who were absolutely hilarious, but completely unprepared to deal with a particular resident "Honey". She had Alzheimer's and would frequently forget how to speak English, lapsing into her native German. Guess who got called down to provide translation and empathy for Honey?

This girl.

It takes an enormous amount of emotional strength to sit with a woman who is scared, who doesn't recognize anyone, and whose only translator is skilled in conversational German. I often left work in tears. I kept coming back, though. Honey needed me. When she passed, I was devastated.

 

Bless you for your kindness.  One of my great fears is that I will outlive my husband, and as we can't have children, I will wind up alone in a nursing facility and forget my Dutch and be entirely alone.  Your story brought tears to my eyes.

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Today's blog post is all about how a wife is to submit to her husband only, not a pastor, or any other man.  Sounds to me like Lori's excuse for not listening to what any man has to say.  

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