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30-year-old man refuses to move out of his parents home


ViolaSebastian

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This ongoing story involves a 30-year-old man who has been living with his parents for eight years, a typical living arrangement nowadays that's completely understandable, given the state of the economy. The twist here, however, is that Michael refused to get a job and health insurance at his parents' request, and refused to offer any assistance with the finances or care taking of the home, and thus he was told in February that he needed to find another place to live. Michael, who lost custody of his eight-year-old son recently, states that he refuses to get a job because he's trying to get the court costs waived for his ongoing custody battle with his child's mother. However, he does report that he has a business of his own, which he suspiciously refuses to elaborate on in the courts (spoiler alert, it's probably drugs.) As far as I can tell, his parents have offered him all sorts of assistance in paying for a down payment and a few months rent for his new place, but his parents have had to take him to court and a judge ordered him to vacate. Which he is still refusing to do. To thank his parents for their kindness, he's now giving interviews in which he bashes his parents for not being good people. 

http://abc11.com/family/judge-orders-man-30-to-move-out-of-parents-home/3511191/

http://time.com/5288144/new-york-parents-son-eviction-judge/

 

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He's now got a job offer! :boom:

Quote

Should his business not work out, TMZreports Rotondo has one job offer to fall back on. CamSoda, known for its X-rated content, "allows people to livestream their candid lives 24/7" and is offering to pay Rotondo $1,000 a month for six months if he broadcasts his daily life.

http://www.newser.com/story/259715/30-year-old-evicted-by-parents-has-job-offer-mysterious-plan.html

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I am completely and utterly confused about why anyone would want to watch this man's life. I know what it looks like to eat Cheetos and watch TV all day. :pb_confused:

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Nope.  No.  Absolutely not.  Also, hell no.

First of all, he needs to wash that nasty hair.  Second of all, he is a 30 year old father.  He needs a job.  Like, yesterday.  

I have always been the type to say to my children, "As long as I have a roof, you have a roof." Stuff happens.  Jobs are lost, people have unexpected illnesses, the market crashes (hello, 2008).  As long as I am alive, my children have got a place to land.

That said, I also taught my children about hard work, and to take care of their basic needs. They are not entitled in any way.  They don't go through life expecting to be waited on.  

Somewhere along the line, someone made it too comfortable for this guy.  It's time for that to stop.  He needs this wake up call.  He needs to grow up and parent his own child. 

Craziness.  Pure craziness. 

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I imagine he just plays video games, farts, and scratches himself all day. 

Who wants to watch that??

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I moved back to my home city with a job and my parents told me I had one week to find an apartment. I know they would never put me on the street, but they helped with the search and I signed a lease the second day I was back. This is enabling bad behavior past the point of the natural fear and respect you should have for your parents. 

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My brother (and his girlfriend, now wife) lived with my parents until they were 30. BUT, they were both working full time, saving for their own house, and contributing to the household expenses. It worked for them for FOUR YEARS. And now they own a house with a smaller than average mortgage in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country.

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I am 30 and live with my parents, my hours at work got cut a few years back and I decided to go back to college and I am at University now. I have had financial problems in the past but I am saving up and will move in the next few months. My parents told me to stay put until I knew my work was steady and how much my student loan money was going to be. This man has made no effort to get on his feet and refuses to stay in work, he should have gotten a job the minute his parents said they wanted him out. 

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After my divorce, I moved back in with my mother until I could get on my feet again, for which I'm extremely grateful to her for allowing me to do. It's increasingly difficult to start out in life or handle setbacks like the loss of a job or illness. That said,  when I lived with her, there was an expectation that I have a job, contribute to the household, and have a plan of some sort to become independent again. And this was never explicitly laid out--it was just a given that I was an adult and was responsible for contributing like one. This dude, apparently, needs a written summons to know that he should take out the garbage when it gets full.

I have a suspicion that a big part of the reason why they want him out is that they're planning on pursuing visitation with their grandchild, and he's done something questionable enough that his presence in the household would put their ability to get visitation into jeopardy. They also mentioned in one of their eviction letters that he should sell anything of value, including his weapons. Which, no. I would not want to live with that dude and his guns either. 

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There's something to this story that isn't being told. This is not the sort of thing that pops up out of the blue.

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3 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I have a feeling his parents won’t allow that to happen in their house...good thing he can’t live there.

He kinda has the same look as a guy I went to high school with. My friend called it “serial killer Jesus.”

Edit: @SweetLaurel I love that show!!

 

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45 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

He kinda has the same look as a guy I went to high school with. My friend called it “serial killer Jesus.”

The Jesus looked better than this guy does though.

TheJesus.jpg

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Update: another job offer at a pizza place, which has offered him a $1000 “signing bonus” for starting there. Also, dude is saying he can’t move out because he can’t afford moving boxes. If only there were some sort of way to obtain boxes from a company that uses many boxes but wants to get rid of them, like a hospital or grocery store! Won’t somebody please think of the thirty year old man children?!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5769937/Michael-Rotondo-new-excuse-staying-parents-home-judge-orders-June-1.html

 

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14 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

...Also, dude is saying he can’t move out because he can’t afford moving boxes. If only there were some sort of way to obtain boxes from a company that uses many boxes but wants to get rid of them, like a hospital or grocery store! Won’t somebody please think of the thirty year old man children?!

LOL, OMG. Dude, Liquor stores. Nice sturdy boxes, and you can have them free. My parents don't even drink and they went there to get boxes every time I moved. Also, printers - any printer with digital capabilities probably has zillions of paper boxes (with lids) they are breaking down for recycling. I've got at least 20 outside my office right now waiting to be re-used or recycled, and that's not counting the 60 or so over in bindery that were nice enough to keep to re-use. We are a small place and I'll go through several cases of paper a week, sometimes several a day.

This guy's weak excuses are funny, but it makes me wonder if there's something more going on with him. Although maybe he's thinking he's gotten enough publicity that he can milk the pathetic image for profit?

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36 minutes ago, GeoBQn said:

This local news site offers more information that casts this story in a sadder--and scarier--light.  This guy owns weapons and he has been arrested for stalking in the past.

http://www.syracuse.com/crime/index.ssf/2018/05/worldwide_media_see_camillus_sons_eviction_as_a_joke_7_reasons_why_its_not.html

Just given his demeanor and the fact that he was denied any sort of visitation/custody with his son, I suspected that there was some questionable or erratic behavior in his past. Absolutely terrifying that he has weapons and a past stalking charge. Terrifying. 

ETA: he’s suing Best Buy for gender discrimination. https://www.google.com/amp/s/heavy.com/news/2018/05/michael-rotondo/amp/

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It’s been a little weird to see this story blow up online. When we initially saw it in the local paper people laughed it off . But I guess the mother of his child is has made it known that there is a very good reason he doesn’t have custody. I’m wondering if he has any developmental disabilities. He remindes me of some of the kids I knew through the BOCES system here minus the social skills that they had managed to learn. Also the atmosphere in that house must be awful. Maybe it’s just me but if my parents took me to court to throw me out of the house after trying for months I feel like between passive aggressive stuff and sheer frustration the entire house would just be unpleasant to live in? 

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23 hours ago, ViolaSebastian said:

I am completely and utterly confused about why anyone would want to watch this man's life. I know what it looks like to eat Cheetos and watch TV all day. :pb_confused:

No!!He is the one drinking Coke and playing video games all day!LOL

Says the woman with two adult children living at home.But they do work.They do contribute to the household.

One son works 60-80 hours a week,at times.He has no life and when he is home is exhausted,I would be ,too.

The other one,is working his way out of debt after a bad relationship.He does play video games,occasionally.

There are people who think that because of their age,and the fact they live with Mr Melon and me,that either I can't let go,or they are losers.

When they do move out...I will help them pack!!

 

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16 minutes ago, Eliowy said:

It’s been a little weird to see this story blow up online. When we initially saw it in the local paper people laughed it off . But I guess the mother of his child is has made it known that there is a very good reason he doesn’t have custody. I’m wondering if he has any developmental disabilities. He remindes me of some of the kids I knew through the BOCES system here minus the social skills that they had managed to learn. Also the atmosphere in that house must be awful. Maybe it’s just me but if my parents took me to court to throw me out of the house after trying for months I feel like between passive aggressive stuff and sheer frustration the entire house would just be unpleasant to live in? 

Part of the reason I find this case fascinating is that I briefly dated a guy who reminds me of this fellow quite a bit. (Feel free to judge me on it--I judge myself too :pb_confused:). From his interviews, he seems like he's reasonably intelligent and capable person, but just has a massive, massive sense of entitlement in all areas of his life, from his employment, to his son, to the woman he stalked, and of course his parents/living situation. Like Michael, this fellow I dated also lived in his parents' home and did absolutely nothing to contribute to the household (he even once told me when we were discussing it "oh man. I'm a terrible person" like it was some sort of revelation that making his elderly father who had a hip replacement mow the yard while his able-bodied son painted paintings of dragons was a dick move). He did have a job, but it was part-time, and he complained constantly about not having a better job and more money. His entitlement also exhibited itself in several ways in our relationship, until a point came three months in when I was basically being treated like an unpaid employee for his "art business" and constantly cleaning up after him at my place (dude couldn't even fill up an ice cube tray and I had to explain to him why I didn't want him peeing in my shower--true story). I was basically a mom-figure who had sex with him. I'd been off the dating scene since I was 19, so this breed of 30-something adult male was new to me--and I've avoided them ever since, but it seems like I see them everywhere.

Is this a new thing? What is causing this?! It seems to be mostly males, in my experience.

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When I first came across this story, it seemed like an epic failure-to-launch troll set up.  Sad that it's true.  It would be great Dr. Phil fodder; I'd be surprised if he doesn't turn up there. 

Ditto on boxes from liquor stores!  Then tend to be smaller, so you can't overpack them to the point where they are too heavy to lift.  I've owned my own house for the past 30 years or so, but four different houses and can still remember how awful it was to pack up my life each time.  

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1 hour ago, Eliowy said:

I’m wondering if he has any developmental disabilities. He remindes me of some of the kids I knew through the BOCES system here minus the social skills that they had managed to learn.

There is something more going on here, and possibly something pathological.  This sounds worse than just developmental difficulties or social ineptness and anxiety.  There are some elements of our "Traditional Catholic in Search of a Wife Called Jillian" here.  Except the Trad Catholic is now out of his parents' house, and chatting to himself on line about his fictitious ideal woman.  I think he is on disability - while Michael doesn't seem as though he would qualify for anything more than a kick in the pants.

I think this guy is quite sinister.  He has a child (whose mother has succeeded in terminating visitation), weapons, and a history of stalking.  It is the entitlement off it all and the obstinacy.  So his parents "cut off his laundry services" and stopped cooking for him.  Wash your own socks, asshole, make your own meals, get a job, and move out!

@ViolaSebastian, I hope your ex didn't have a history of stalking!  I'm wondering how common this is.

ETA:  Apparently I'm not the only person to find this cause for concern. 

I just saw that the judge was concerned enough to refer the case to adult protective services.  In other words, the judge is worried about whether Michael Rotundo is abusing his parents in other ways.  It's not just that he is simply refusing to move out.

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1 hour ago, melon said:

There are people who think that because of their age,and the fact they live with Mr Melon and me,that either I can't let go,or they are losers.

I hate that attitude people have (since I live at home, haha). But housing prices are nuts, rent is crazy around here. We get along and it allows me to save. And so many young adults are in huge amounts of debt because of school. But I have a good job and we get along.

This guy though refuses to get a job and is clearly enough of a danger to his child he lost custody, and there is something severely wrong with the line of thinking, “I can’t get a job because then I won’t be poor and I’ll lose my ability to say I lost custody because I’m poor.” Dude, that’s not helping your case. Also he can work and still live below the poverty line. So that argument REALLY doesn’t work.

1 hour ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Is this a new thing? What is causing this?! It seems to be mostly males, in my experience.

Can I blame Trump? I feel like society has created a massive sense of entitlement in a particular breed of white men. White men have always been on top, and women/other genders and people of other races/ethnicities are demanding equality and earning jobs these men were told they’re entitled to just for existing. Maybe all this crap going on, with their president telling them that they’re special, they’re making themselves known.

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I think this is an issue that we've been creating in our culture LONG before Trump came to office.  I think Trump is a symptom, not a cause.  These are just my thoughts, but here they are:

I think we have stopped culturally teaching kids that failure is something that can happen...and something that WILL happen if you don't work hard.  If Little Joey Whitebread came home with an F a generation ago, Joey was going to be in BIG TROUBLE with his parents.  He was going to be held accountable for that F.  Now, Joey comes home with an F, and many parents turn around and yell at the teacher.  Or complain about testing/grading metrics.  I'm not saying there aren't bad teachers or bad schools, but culturally to some degree, the blame has shifted.  We don't like to blame kids or see kids fail.  Culturally, we've become very adverse to that on a certain level.  We want ALL kids to feel like winners, so we give kids participation ribbons and trophies and recognition even when they don't deserve it.  We are SO CONCERNED about hurting kids feelings, we don't realize that LEARNING HOW TO DEAL WITH NEGATIVE FEEDBACK CONSTRUCTIVELY is a major skill.  

But

We still live in an unequal society.  So if you are female, a person of color, an LGBTQ+ person, or any other marginalized group, even with all this going on, you STILL learn about hard work.  You STILL learn about failure.  You STILL learn that you have to work hard to succeed.  Society makes sure of that.  You may not learn it young, but eventually, you WILL learn that you have to WORK HARD to get anywhere.  Because society will try to see you fail, and if you are in many of those groups, you CANNOT afford to fail in America.  

But if you are a cis-het white male, you might never learn this.  Society is going to push you up, not pull you down.  You're going to keep being given things and chances and successes you didn't truly earn.  It's going to be MUCH HARDER for you to fail, and eventually, you might reasonably start thinking that you CANNOT fail.  Or maybe that you SHOULD NOT fail.  Or maybe that you are OWED a ribbon or a trophy or whatever the other kids have even though YOU didn't work for it like the other kids did.  And then that becomes the idea that you are OWED a girlfriend.  That you are OWED a place to live.  That you are OWED support from others.  That you are OWED the time you want with your kid, even if your behavior makes you an unfit parent.  Because your behavior has never stopped you from being a winner before...so why should it stop you now?  Why should you have to work NOW?  Why NOW are you not being handed asspats and participation ribbons just for breathing?  

Motivation.  It's key to successful humans.  When removed...things don't go well.

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