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Mr and Mrs Jill Duggar 58: The D’Wreckoning


samurai_sarah

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...NOW HE WANTS TO SAVE THE KIDS. He’s talking about transgender children, by the way.

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Perez summed it up - so many of these evanglical fundies really missed the whole judge not lest ye be judged thing. That said, I do hope hell has a separate section for the religious hypocrites like the D'Wrecks - we don't need them mingling in the general population killing the fun and harassing the demons.

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5 hours ago, Alicja said:

exactly, he's feigning ignorance and being passive aggressive! he's just an asshole pretending to be more "modern" or "mainstream" with comments like "duh of course my wife has seen star wars, shes 26" when in reality? he's just... a fundamentalist asshole

That's not what he said...

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Re the "genital mutilation" comment: 

1. Eat my entire ass, Derick.

2. Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is to medically transition? You don't just waltz into a doctor's office all like "hello I'd like some hormones and extensive surgery on my genitals, breasts, and face". It takes YEARS and they drag that shit out as long as possible (source: reading fucking anything about being transgender you dense bigoted baby-carrot-dick piece of shit). And it's even more of a process when the trans person in question is a child. I highly, HIGHLY doubt Jazz has had top or bottom surgery, partially because she's still growing, and partially because that shit takes fucking forever. 

3. You're one to talk about locking kids into life-changing decisions and lifestyles at an early age, considering you're already molding Israel into Daddy's Lil' Racist. 

4. Go fuck yourself, Derick, because that's the only person who actually wants to. 

5. When you're done fucking yourself, get a job. 

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10 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Re the "genital mutilation" comment: 

1. Eat my entire ass, Derick.

2. Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is to medically transition? You don't just waltz into a doctor's office all like "hello I'd like some hormones and extensive surgery on my genitals, breasts, and face". It takes YEARS and they drag that shit out as long as possible (source: reading fucking anything about being transgender you dense bigoted baby-carrot-dick piece of shit). And it's even more of a process when the trans person in question is a child. I highly, HIGHLY doubt Jazz has had top or bottom surgery, partially because she's still growing, and partially because that shit takes fucking forever. 

3. You're one to talk about locking kids into life-changing decisions and lifestyles at an early age, considering you're already molding Israel into Daddy's Lil' Racist. 

4. Go fuck yourself, Derick, because that's the only person who actually wants to. 

5. When you're done fucking yourself, get a job. 

Devastatingly witty, painfully accurate, and incredibly spot-on, as usual. Good show and also, duck off, Derick Dillard.  Mr. Jill Duggar.

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I bet Mr Jill’s interpretation of transgender is that the parents got the wrong gendered child at birth and are doing everything to convert said child into the “dream” gender.

I dont know the specifics on percentages etc, but id hazard a guess that a good proportion of those who identify as transgender didnt “come out” until after puberty.

In the scheme of things I bet there are very few families similar to Jazz’s who have been in the process since she was a preschooler. 

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1 hour ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Re the "genital mutilation" comment: 

1. Eat my entire ass, Derick.

2. Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is to medically transition? You don't just waltz into a doctor's office all like "hello I'd like some hormones and extensive surgery on my genitals, breasts, and face". It takes YEARS and they drag that shit out as long as possible (source: reading fucking anything about being transgender you dense bigoted baby-carrot-dick piece of shit). And it's even more of a process when the trans person in question is a child. I highly, HIGHLY doubt Jazz has had top or bottom surgery, partially because she's still growing, and partially because that shit takes fucking forever. 

3. You're one to talk about locking kids into life-changing decisions and lifestyles at an early age, considering you're already molding Israel into Daddy's Lil' Racist. 

4. Go fuck yourself, Derick, because that's the only person who actually wants to. 

5. When you're done fucking yourself, get a job. 

Jazz is definitely having surgery if she hasn't yet. I don't watch but I know it was a big blow up thing that a minor was being explicit about details a few months ago.

 

I think it was other reasons that most of those were upset but can't prove it obviously.

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Also can we talk about the fact that Derick's family has a SCHOLARSHIP for PUBLIC SCHOOL students going to COLLEGE and Derick wants his own children to have the bare minimum education with Jill at the dining room table? 

WTFFFFFFFFFF

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25 minutes ago, RainbowSky said:

Jazz is definitely having surgery if she hasn't yet. I don't watch but I know it was a big blow up thing that a minor was being explicit about details a few months ago.

 

I think it was other reasons that most of those were upset but can't prove it obviously.

If she is, I'm sure she and her parents have gone over every possible thing with their medical team. Good luck to her. Personally, if I had a transgender child I'd be apprehensive about doing the full-on surgery before they're fully "cooked" puberty/growth-wise (because of stuff like scar tissue, or growth/body changes affecting how the surgery looks further down the line), but I'm sure that as time goes on and more kids don't feel the need to hide their gender identity/expression until well into adulthood, there will be more resources available about gender reassignment/confirmation surgery on young people and the risks and benefits thereof. 

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54 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Re the "genital mutilation" comment: 

1. Eat my entire ass, Derick.

2. Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is to medically transition? You don't just waltz into a doctor's office all like "hello I'd like some hormones and extensive surgery on my genitals, breasts, and face". It takes YEARS and they drag that shit out as long as possible (source: reading fucking anything about being transgender you dense bigoted baby-carrot-dick piece of shit). And it's even more of a process when the trans person in question is a child. I highly, HIGHLY doubt Jazz has had top or bottom surgery, partially because she's still growing, and partially because that shit takes fucking forever. 

3. You're one to talk about locking kids into life-changing decisions and lifestyles at an early age, considering you're already molding Israel into Daddy's Lil' Racist. 

4. Go fuck yourself, Derick, because that's the only person who actually wants to. 

5. When you're done fucking yourself, get a job. 

I was just reading about transgender kids, and D-Wreck is a moron. (Total shock to everyone. I know. :pb_rollseyes: )

These articles were the most helpful:

Spoiler

This one from PBS addresses possible concerns with long term use of puberty blocking drugs and hormones:

https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/when-transgender-kids-transition-medical-risks-are-both-known-and-unknown/

This 10 part article from New York Magazine is more personalized, with stories of different families:

http://nymag.com/news/features/transgender-children-2012-6/

The TL:DR of those articles regarding kids transitioning at a young age is (this is just a rough outline, not a rigid set of rules): socially transition as young as comfortable (wear preferred clothing type, use preferred pronouns, use new name), start puberty blocking drugs at around age 11 (a specific developmental stage, determined by x-rays), start hormone therapy to begin puberty of preferred gender at about 16 years old, and gender reassignment surgery can not be performed until at least 18 years of age. (The articles also referred to therapy requirements; for example, a child and their parents need to be in therapy for a year before a doctor will prescribe puberty blocking drugs.) It sounds like doctors, therapists, families, and trans kids are still working out what is the best path for each individual, but the jist of those 2 articles.

(I'm not sure "preferred" is what I meant, but it will have to do for now.)

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maybe when derick goes to hell his punishment will be being in a body opposite of what he is, he'll be forced to confirm to incredibly strict gender roles that he doesn't relate to. He'll not want the genitals he has between his legs and feel more whole with the set he doesn't have. Maybe he'd be willing to "mutilate" himself for a chance at feeling right in his own body.

All I know about transgender anybody is that they are living human beings who are able to communicate with the rest of humanity what they are and how they feel. I'm going to listen to them and give them the respect they deserve and try to fight in my way for their freedom to be what they are while they are alive on this earth which is a gift. Who the fuck am I to tell them they are not what they are? Why should I listen to a 2000 year old book (or dubious interpretations of it) over real live humans speaking about their own experience in life? 

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Just now, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

(I'm not sure "preferred" is what I meant, but it will have to do for now.)

Among my trans and NB friends, they generally said "my preferred pronouns are...", though more at the start/when they had just come out; I guess it was a way of saying "I know that I've been X to you since you met me, but now I prefer to be referred to as Y" (which is a little more polite and deferential than you need to be, IMO -- I think "I know that I've been X to you since you met me, but now I am Y" works just as well, but to each their own). 

I felt like a total dick once because a friend had come out during a gap when I hadn't seen them in a while and wasn't totally in the loop on their life, so I made a point of asking what their pronouns were (they), and made an effort to use their new pronouns in as many sentences as I could so it would stick in my brain, and did my best to go "bro, Friend is they/them now" when other friends used the old pronoun...and then I slipped and used the old one in front of them. They understood and were totally cool about it, but aargh. 

And now my family is starting to wonder if my uncle (aunt???) is inching out of the closet about being trans. None of us mind, of course, and we will support him however he chooses to live his life (but he is a total tool, but that's another story and unrelated to his gender identity). Nothing is confirmed, but he's been making some hints and dressing in certain ways that make us wonder. At this point, all we can do is make sure he knows that even though he is a total tool, we love him and will be there for him, whether he's a him or a her or something else. But he's a total tool no matter what pronouns he ends up using. 

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@nastyhobbitses, it can also get more nuanced than just the either/or of male or female. My trans sibling is agender, but a masculine agender. He takes hormones and legally changed his name and legal sex, but he still doesn't exactly identify as a man. I don't know if this will help other people, but it helped me visualize gender in a new way.

Spoiler

Screenshot_20170705-235110.thumb.jpg.5d7a58e8ef2e0b5d4484d21d98a0d126.jpg

I guess my sibling would be "Masculine Agender", the purple part of that Venn diagram. 

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1 hour ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Re the "genital mutilation" comment: 

1. Eat my entire ass, Derick.

2. Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is to medically transition? You don't just waltz into a doctor's office all like "hello I'd like some hormones and extensive surgery on my genitals, breasts, and face". It takes YEARS and they drag that shit out as long as possible (source: reading fucking anything about being transgender you dense bigoted baby-carrot-dick piece of shit). And it's even more of a process when the trans person in question is a child. I highly, HIGHLY doubt Jazz has had top or bottom surgery, partially because she's still growing, and partially because that shit takes fucking forever. 

3. You're one to talk about locking kids into life-changing decisions and lifestyles at an early age, considering you're already molding Israel into Daddy's Lil' Racist. 

4. Go fuck yourself, Derick, because that's the only person who actually wants to. 

5. When you're done fucking yourself, get a job. 

If I could love this a million times, I would. 

The only children that he should be worried about needing to be “protected” are his own. If he has no problem exploiting his own toddler son for his hateful agenda, I can only imagine what his future plans are. Those boys don’t deserve that. The hypocrisy runs DEEP. 

Derick, stay the hell away from transgender children or like maybe all people at this point. 

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I found that diagram very helpful @WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? Thank you. I have a friend who uses they/them pronouns. Initially they preferred he/him, but I think time and experience helped them understand that it’s nowhere near as binary as we try to make it. I think they would place themselves somewhere in the genderfluid segment of the Venn diagram, but I’m not exactly sure where. Aside from the change in name and pronouns, we haven’t really discussed it. We tend to talk about all the same things we have always talked about. I don’t know why that has never included gender or sexuality (other than talking about our respective partners), but I very much appreciate and enjoy the things we do discuss.

It makes me beyond ragey to consider the fact that dWreck thinks it’s ok to make decisions about other people’s lives, without listening to them, or even believing that they have a view worth hearing, based on prejudice and an ancient text that predates our understanding of the spectrum of sex, gender and sexuality.

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1 minute ago, Jellybean said:

I have a friend who uses they/them pronouns. Initially they preferred he/him, but I think time and experience helped them understand that it’s nowhere near as binary as we try to make it.

My sibling started out by asking us to use they/them, but asked us to switch to he/him, around the time he started hormone injections. (My sib hates needles. That alone would tell someone how important this is to him.) I had a hard time with plural pronouns for one person (I'm working to get over that mental block), but I found he/him easier. Binary thinking, I guess.

Early on, he asked me what I thought of a new title for my kids to call him, instead of "aunt" or "uncle". He picked one, and now my kids barely remember that he used to be "Aunt". The last time I asked, he didn't really have a preference on sibling vs. brother, so I've stuck with sibling.

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Having seen some of the ugliness thrown at my friend and another transgender acquaintance (a friend of a friend), I would absolutely not think that their coming out was anything other than VERY important. Our society makes it hard enough, and intolerant people make it even harder. Throwing needles and daily medication and speech therapy and possible surgery into the mix, and it seems impossible to view it as a trivial matter.

For what it’s worth, I think your kids are lucky to have early exposure to the fact that gender is multifaceted, and to learn that trans people are the same as other people. I’m sure that you are modelling all sorts of loving and accepting behaviour for them, just as you do here.

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4 minutes ago, Jellybean said:

I’m sure that you are modelling all sorts of loving and accepting behaviour for them, just as you do here.

I hope I model some good behavior, but I find it much easier to be who I want to be online. If I'm tired, hungry, frustrated, angry, pms-ing, etc., I can set down my phone until I feel better. In real life, my kids see me lose my temper (or mind :my_blush:) on a daily basis. 

If a troll is someone who likes to be nasty online, but acts pretty nice in real life, I guess I'm the opposite. It's easier to get closer to my ideal of myself in a place that doesn't include as many of my real life problems. :my_smile:

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3 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I hope I model some good behavior, but I find it much easier to be who I want to be online. If I'm tired, hungry, frustrated, angry, pms-ing, etc., I can set down my phone until I feel better. In real life, my kids see me lose my temper (or mind :my_blush:) on a daily basis. 

If a troll is someone who likes to be nasty online, but acts pretty nice in real life, I guess I'm the opposite. It's easier to get closer to my ideal of myself in a place that doesn't include as many of my real life problems. :my_smile:

That’s so true - it’s much easier not to engage when something pushes one’s buttons online than in real life. Having said that, plenty of people don’t even try to be kinder online than IRL because they feel anonymous and don’t see the other forum users as real people. 

When I first started reading FJ I was so overwhelmed by the number of people that post here that I didn’t even try to get to know anyone - I just read the comments without looking at the names. It became a much nicer and friendlier place when I started to match people with the things they said, and the stuff they shared about themselves. It feels like a community to me now, though I know there’s a whole subset of that community that lurks, and hence I’ve never ‘met’ which is a strange thought... 

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1 minute ago, Jellybean said:

...though I know there’s a whole subset of that community that lurks, and hence I’ve never ‘met’ which is a strange thought... 

...and they're all listening to us have a personal conversation! :pb_lol:

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