Lori Alexander 46: She Sure Is Highly Edumacated

[feministxtian]

47 minutes ago, Briefly said:

There are more business in the Tulsa, OK area that have the word "Christian" in their title or advertising than I can count!

For me, "Christian" is code for shitty work and getting ripped off. Even as a Christian, I won't hire a "Christian" business of any sort unless I know the people personally. 

[Briefly]

Just now, feministxtian said:

For me, "Christian" is code for shitty work and getting ripped off. Even as a Christian, I won't hire a "Christian" business of any sort unless I know the people personally. 

When we were getting quote to get our roof replaced a few years ago, one of the companies we called did not have the word Christian in their name.  The father in law of the owner of the company came out to look at our roof.  Within the first few minutes, he told us how they are such a devout Christian family and run a strong, Christian business.  Then literally in the next sentence, he told how they would tell the insurance company they charged more than they actually did and give us the difference.  And he seemed kind of confused when we told him to leave!

[Koala]

The woman who I quoted  (who said she struggles to love her children), continued to ask Lori questions, but Lori moved on, and totally ignored her after advising she buy TTUAC.

She has responded to other things where people were flattering her.  In fact, she has posted countless things since that post (just a day ago).  Just now she put up an old post about husbands "disciplining" their wives,  yet she ignores a reader who is crying out for help, even when asked direct questions.  

Ken babbles on endlessly about Lori's "ministry", but the truth is, the only people she has lengthy interactions with, are the ones who kiss her ass or argue with her.  The ones who truly seek help, are ignored.

Now don't get me wrong- it's a blessing in disguise that Lori isn't further engaging her, but it also means that Lori is NOT mentoring women.  She's looking for 1) A cult following 2) People to argue with.

There is nothing biblical about trying to mentor complete strangers anyway....matter of fact, there's absolutely NO biblical precedence for what Lori's doing.  Even if Lori were truly a mentor or a wise woman (she's not) this lady is a clear example of how things slip through the cracks.  She's reached out, been ignored, and might not reach out again.  And what happens to those kids?  They have a mom who doesn't really love them, and she's armed with TTUAC.  How do you think that will end?  Not well.  Abuse is likely in that home.  And Lori?  She's over on Instagram, glowing in the back pats.  She's also on Facebook, standing on her head trying to go viral again.  Do you think she cares what happens to that family?  Nope. 

That.  That's why Lori's "ministry" is dangerous.  Desperate people reach out (because Lori identifies herself as a mentor and an authority on everything in the history of ever), and she either gives the horrible advice, or ignores them all together.

[Frog99]

Please tell me this poster (replying to a comment on the discipline post) is just being snarky. And please note that Lori herself liked it... 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Late to the party -- but woo hoo @feministxtian on the good job with bennies!!!  

[AlwaysDiscerning]

She deleted Laura and the response? What else was said? I think it was snarky. She must have realized it after she liked it.

[Chocolatedefrauded]

1 hour ago, Briefly said:

When we were getting quote to get our roof replaced a few years ago, one of the companies we called did not have the word Christian in their name.  The father in law of the owner of the company came out to look at our roof.  Within the first few minutes, he told us how they are such a devout Christian family and run a strong, Christian business.  Then literally in the next sentence, he told how they would tell the insurance company they charged more than they actually did and give us the difference.  And he seemed kind of confused when we told him to leave!

Guess his kind of “Christian” does not have an issue with insurance fraud? It is the most sleazy of crimes, in my experience. It raises everyone’s rates up. And why would anyone trust a contractor who is willing to cheat an insurer? What’s to stop him from cheating customers?

[Frog99]

14 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

She deleted Laura and the response? What else was said? I think it was snarky. She must have realized it after she liked it.

Here it is: (I can’t get spoiler boxes and they might not post in order. Valeria was the response with the others)

[MarblesMom]

10 hours ago, Petronella said:

I have no doubt that divorce can be painful for the children involved, but it is really, really important to gain perspective in adulthood that your parents were and are three-dimensional people in their own right, who had painful struggles of their own and hard choices to make. It’s also important to accept that divorce itself didn’t destroy the family; the marriage relationship was already broken, which is why they divorced.

Thank you for this thought.

I know several adults who still have not processed their parents' divorce... and I wish there was more focus on adult children of divorce gaining this perspective.  It is stunting them otherwise to be stuck emotionally in (their perspective) a "broken family," when the parents have both moved on and are happy now. 

Wallowing in the guilt and other accompanying emotions from decades ago is pointless. IMHO

[Escadora]

With regards back to poverty and the herd mentality of it, I can definitely relate. I've lived paycheck-to-paycheck all my life, because although my dad's always worked, my mother has a number of health conditions that prevent her from getting a paid job. Neither of them were college or university educated, and where we live didn't provide either of them with great opportunities to raise myself and my brothers in. Now, my parents were too proud to claim benefits they were rightfully entitled to having been in that situation, and though I do understand their desire to not have been seen as 'spongers' or benefit abusers, a father working 60 hours a week to provide for his family should not have had to witness there being times where mum would 'fill up' on water and ice from the freezer so us kids could eat the 'soup' she'd made from whatever vegetables were lurking in the cans in the back of the cupboard and whatever was left in the bottom of the freezer at the month's end. 

It annoys me when people in my class at uni talk about how much responsibility the collective 'we' have to take care of the poorer in society (hooray for politics and ethics students who fail to acknowledge that there could ever be a peasant amongst them... pff I'm not bitter, you're bitter). I've never been middle class, what I have been is placed under an extraordinarily large amount of pressure to be better and to provide better than my parents could, and it is something that I'm going to be in over £60,000 of debt for. My anxiety (yes, diagnosed) puts so much fear of unknown realities like the working world and adult relationships in me, and yet I know, realise, and respect that those older than me simply don't have the time nor patience for me to go at my own pace considering that I'm already many years behind where I should be.

To that extent, I can actually see the appeal of and be tempted by the notion of a spouse who gets to make all the decisions that I carry out, and to have a few children to raise and have that be my only job. I'm great with kids, I always have been. But then I think on it further and remember that the chances of getting a 'nice' headship is slim to none, given my heathen ways and lack of talking to people. Besides, I think I'd rather wish I could have a life like that rather than being stuck in that life and being totally unaware that there are other options than that one path. 

See, I'm a totally useless example of an eldest child. Fearless in my youth, mostly, and a pretty good leader. Nowadays, not so much.

[Curious]

7 hours ago, refugee said:

I often idly wonder: did she marry a terrible man, and “go over to the enemy”? Did he, on the other hand, marry a terrible woman?

Or did two terrible people take each other off the market, sparing others much pain and grief?

Personally, I think Ken would be a very different person had he not married Lori.  I think he would have been less extreme and possibly less mansplainy if he wasn't with Lori.  Lori says such insane things that to defend her he has to also sound crazy.   I don't know if he would be a *better* person, but definitely a different one.

[Sarah92]

So I've been on a few dates with a guy, don't know if it's going to turn into a relationship or not but anyways... He's definitely from a higher SES from me. I mentioned that my brother worked at a restaurant and his first question was "where did he go to culinary school?". He went to the school of   Can you wash your hands and cook an okay steak? With a minor in how much restaurant bullshit can you deal with? That's where he went.  

Of course that's not how I replied because he is very nice and didn't deserve a lot of snark. But he kinda reminds me of what @Escadora said about the students who want to help but don't live that reality. But I totally did the feminist thing and insisted on paying for a date :p lol. 

[livinglongerthanyou]

5 hours ago, feministxtian said:

For me, "Christian" is code for shitty work and getting ripped off. Even as a Christian, I won't hire a "Christian" business of any sort unless I know the people personally. 

Sadly, it's also often code for being a judgmental, shitty person. About four years ago the guy who owned the vacant 5 acres next to our property came over and handed me a letter and then left. He always gave me a creepy vibe so I was ok with him not saying anything - my dog hates him and I trust her judgment. 

Anyway, the letter was about the power pole that supplies electricity to our home. The pole is actually on his property and the letter indicated we had 30 days to move the pole onto our property, or he would have the power cut and knock down the pole. 

Well this came just about the time I began to get sick and so my work hours were haphazard and my husband runs a small business that had just begun to grow. I was furious and first contacted the power company. They sent a guy out who looked at the pole and then where a new pole could be put. It was going to be an awkward and very expensive job because of where the main power line was. I was so upset and then this dear man said, "You didn't hear this from me, but look up adverse possession." 

I got online and discovered that my neighbor had owned the land for 15 years and we had owned our property for just over 10 years. That 10 years was the magic number for taking possession of the land the pole sat on. He had not brought up the power pole issue before, even when he had had the property surveyed shortly after we bought ours. We called a lawyer friend of ours and long story short, we now own that strip of land from front to back that our power pole sits on. 

The neighbor was not happy of course. He came over one night when my husband was home too and proceeded to tell us that it wasn't very Christian of us to take possession of the land through a court process. My husband laughed and said he was an atheist and that I was half-Native and my people had had more than enough abuse from Christians. He also told the guy it certainly wasn't Christian to place us in such a stressful situation, particularly since I was ill. Then this idiot had the nerve to tell me to show up to his church and people would pray over me and I would be healed. I politely declined and said that my ancestors were looking out for me. My husband told him he was considered an unwanted visitor and to leave. He added that he had just the amount of time to fuck off that it would take my husband to retrieve our shotgun. 

We never saw the guy again and he sold the property about a year later to some very nice people who we get along with famously. 

[feministxtian]

2 minutes ago, livinglongerthanyou said:

Sadly, it's also often code for being a judgmental, shitty person. About four years ago the guy who owned the vacant 5 acres next to our property came over and handed me a letter and then left. He always gave me a creepy vibe so I was ok with him not saying anything - my dog hates him and I trust her judgment.

This is why I really hate self-identifying as a Christian...the word has been co-opted by really shitty people who wouldn't know Jesus if he stood in front of them. I mean, damn, I am NOT perfect but I try every day to at the least treat people the way I want to be treated. My only hope is that someday they will have to answer for their words and deeds, especially the ones done in Jesus' name. 

[Chocolatedefrauded]

4 hours ago, livinglongerthanyou said:

The neighbor was not happy of course. He came over one night when my husband was home too and proceeded to tell us that it wasn't very Christian of us to take possession of the land through a court process. My husband laughed and said he was an atheist and that I was half-Native and my people had had more than enough abuse from Christians. He also told the guy it certainly wasn't Christian to place us in such a stressful situation, particularly since I was ill. Then this idiot had the nerve to tell me to show up to his church and people would pray over me and I would be healed. I politely declined and said that my ancestors were looking out for me. My husband told him he was considered an unwanted visitor and to leave. He added that he had just the amount of time to fuck off that it would take my husband to retrieve our shotgun. 

That’s a great response from your husband! Make sure that dope doesn’t come back to bother you again...

[Krissy]

11 hours ago, Escadora said:

With regards back to poverty and the herd mentality of it, I can definitely relate. I've lived paycheck-to-paycheck all my life, because although my dad's always worked, my mother has a number of health conditions that prevent her from getting a paid job. Neither of them were college or university educated, and where we live didn't provide either of them with great opportunities to raise myself and my brothers in. Now, my parents were too proud to claim benefits they were rightfully entitled to having been in that situation, and though I do understand their desire to not have been seen as 'spongers' or benefit abusers, a father working 60 hours a week to provide for his family should not have had to witness there being times where mum would 'fill up' on water and ice from the freezer so us kids could eat the 'soup' she'd made from whatever vegetables were lurking in the cans in the back of the cupboard and whatever was left in the bottom of the freezer at the month's end. 

It annoys me when people in my class at uni talk about how much responsibility the collective 'we' have to take care of the poorer in society (hooray for politics and ethics students who fail to acknowledge that there could ever be a peasant amongst them... pff I'm not bitter, you're bitter). I've never been middle class, what I have been is placed under an extraordinarily large amount of pressure to be better and to provide better than my parents could, and it is something that I'm going to be in over £60,000 of debt for. My anxiety (yes, diagnosed) puts so much fear of unknown realities like the working world and adult relationships in me, and yet I know, realise, and respect that those older than me simply don't have the time nor patience for me to go at my own pace considering that I'm already many years behind where I should be.

To that extent, I can actually see the appeal of and be tempted by the notion of a spouse who gets to make all the decisions that I carry out, and to have a few children to raise and have that be my only job. I'm great with kids, I always have been. But then I think on it further and remember that the chances of getting a 'nice' headship is slim to none, given my heathen ways and lack of talking to people. Besides, I think I'd rather wish I could have a life like that rather than being stuck in that life and being totally unaware that there are other options than that one path. 

See, I'm a totally useless example of an eldest child. Fearless in my youth, mostly, and a pretty good leader. Nowadays, not so much.

Because of things that have happened to me working can be a challenge for me. I’ve held jobs as a cna, McDonald’s, skippers, target, etc. it’s deeming demanding work. I was going to college for social work but got married and only have a 2 year degree. Being married and taking care of kids is a lot easier than the type of jobs I qualify for. My husband isn’t perfect but he doesn’t hit or verbally abuse which considering where I came from is an accomplishment. But yes, it’s an easier life from working full time at a McDonald’s and not having enough to live off of for sure. This option wasn’t something I would have thought up either until my pastor sat me down during pre-marriage counseling and outlined most of the scriptures Lori does and my husband agreed to it and here I am. Honestly statically someone like me is less likely to get and stay married much less jump the social ecomical ladder. It’s not easy to say oh I will just have to marry a richer guy, otherwise all women would try for that but men who are quality don’t marry just anyone. I’m not attractive by any means but I do believe in God and I truly believe that’s why I’m where I am.

Theres nothing wrong with working low wage jobs or not having enough money you’re still a worthy person. I know the struggle with no end it seems. Getting grants to take a few college classes helped me feel not as hopeless about my situation. 

 

[Anna Arkadyevna]

I'm sorry, but I just read Lori's post for today (once again written by somebody else) and I think I might actually have a brain bleed.  Her author recommends keeping livestock if you can, but not vaccinating LIVESTOCK in order to save money. That is one household I will not be fucking visiting for any reason, I can tell you that.

The thing is, my husband and I have actually lived on one income most of our child-rearing years, and a teacher salary, too, so I do know a bit about frugality, but the ridiculous shit she publishes about saving money never fails to make me laugh. Her cheap-ass  fangurlz think everybody lives in exactly the same geographic and political situations they do.  I live in the desert...like, the hottest place in the U.S., and ain't no way I'm going without air-conditioning.  And cooking from scratch when the air temp outside is 115 degrees isn't exactly thrifty, either.  I could go on ad infinitum, but I really, really hate her thrifty posts, because I've driven through those fucking San Diego neighborhoods she lives in, and there's no damn chickens living there.

[Meeka]

Lori has such a limited view when it comes to frugality. She doesn't even understand the amount of time and work that goes into being frugal. Sure, you can raise your own livestock but you still get to buy animal feed, lug it home, feed the animals every day (no 5 week vacations in Door County), clean the barn/coop etc. Once the livestock is ready to butcher can you imagine her butchering the animal and cutting it up a disposing of the inedible carcass? Sure, you can take it to the butcher but that you cost money. 

Does she realize the amount of land and work that is required to grow enough vegetables for a large family? My grandmother grew enough vegetables, roots vegetable only because of the climate, to feed her family of 10 and it is hard long work. She was gardening from May to about September for hours per day to take care of the gardens. This was no little dainty, just throw in garden with a few tomato plants in your back yard. She needed several acres of garden to just provide enough vegetable to last through the winter and had a root cellar to make it last. Oh, and the flies. Can you imagine her working out in a garden for hours a day eaten alive by flies?

Also, she doesn't take into account different climates. In northern cold climates, without a well built and coop or barn chickens don't even lay eggs in the winter.

She is so limited!

[Koala]

24 minutes ago, Anna Arkadyevna said:

I'm sorry, but I just read Lori's post for today (once again written by somebody else) and I think I might actually have a brain bleed.  Her author recommends keeping livestock if you can, but not vaccinating LIVESTOCK in order to save money. That is one household I will not be fucking visiting for any reason, I can tell you that.

The thing is, my husband and I have actually lived on one income most of our child-rearing years, and a teacher salary, too, so I do know a bit about frugality, but the ridiculous shit she publishes about saving money never fails to make me laugh. Her cheap-ass  fangurlz think everybody lives in exactly the same geographic and political situations they do.  I live in the desert...like, the hottest place in the U.S., and ain't no way I'm going without air-conditioning.  And cooking from scratch when the air temp outside is 115 degrees isn't exactly thrifty, either.  I could go on ad infinitum, but I really, really hate her thrifty posts, because I've driven through those fucking San Diego neighborhoods she lives in, and there's no damn chickens living there.

Right?!  Last week a reader was complaining to her about the price of eggs.  Lori said something like, "If they were that expensive here, I'd consider owning a couple of chickens."  Sure.  The people in Lori's neighborhood wouldn't have any problem with that.  

Here it is....

[Loveday]

Someone asked Lori if she was considering putting all her doodles into a book. Her response:

Quote

I have started to type up the handwritten posts to put them into a book but I'm just not motivated to continue! Writing for my blog, mentoring women, and researching are what I love to do.

"Just not motivated" is code for "My first book hasn't made a profit yet and probably won't. And I don't want to risk even more negative feedback on Amazon that I can't control."

And "Researching?"  Lori, googling a subject and re-posting the first article you see is NOT researching. And you are really not "writing," either. To sort of quote Truman Capote, "You're not writing; you're typing." 

[Frog99]

I read that stupid post 3 times in an attempt to identify any useful content. There isn’t any (aside from going to the library and exploring second hand purchase options). Having only one car/one cell phone isn’t feasible for many families and there is no way we are going without AC (the humidity here will take your breath away and there have actually been recent alerts for those with asthma). Not everyone lives in a temperate climate that supports gardening at the level needed to support a family. Not everyone lives in an area that allows chickens or other livestock. Not to mention the costs involved. Not everyone is capable of creating things to sell on Etsy. Not to mention the market for those things.

[dairyfreelife]

26 minutes ago, Koala said:

Right?!  Last week a reader was complaining to her about the price of eggs.  Lori said something like, "If they were that expensive here, I'd consider owning a couple of chickens."  Sure.  The people in Lori's neighborhood wouldn't have any problem with that.  

Lol, Lori has clearly NEVER spent time around chickens. There is no way in hell she'd every own any and if did, she'd get rid of them right quick. They are messy, dirty animals. Seeing entitled Lori trying to deal with a squawking chickens flinging poop all over her little backyard, that would be a sight. Who am I kidding, she'd make Ken or the maid do it, which I am sure they'd soooo appreciate doing. 

[Imrlgoddess]

Now now now. Let's not get our bonnets in a dither!  Obviously livestock doesn't need food beyond God's own good grass, which never has bitter weeds in it to make them colic.  Hauling feed, you silly goose!  And chickens!  Why even the most urban apartment dweller can have a small coop on her back balcony!  Who needs roosters, I mean really...it's not like their presence is integral to having fresh Godly eggs!  What's that you say?  Zoning laws??  Limiting the number & kinds of animals one can own within city limits?  Clearly the liberal agenda aimed at keeping folks on processed, non-Godly food.  Have you ever seeeen those upside down strawberry & tomato planters?  I saw enough fruit one one to feed the multitude.  If you give children the appropriate portions, they don't over eat & there's plenty to go around.  

OK OK you can stop throwing straw papers at me!  I'm an injured woman typing furiously with one hand!  

I'm going to assume her response to the small garden argument would be the loaves & fishes story.  Ya know cause that's exactly how it went down. 

I know, I know, it's too early for all that sarcasm....I just couldn't help myself...le sigh....

[polecat]

People who judge other people's AC use when they aren't even in the same geographical locations one of my biggest pet peeves.

I picked a random week in July to compare Lori's region with mine. Here's Lori's: 

Spoiler

 

Seriously, that's just mind-blowing to me. That's "open your windows and let all the fresh air in" weather. That's "sit on the patio and watch the world go by" weather. That's GORGEOUS weather. 

But like I said, compare to mine: 

 

Spoiler

What that image doesn't show is the heat index. I live in a suuuuper humid area, so the heat index can add 15 to 20 degrees to the actual temperature. I just dare her to come live without AC in my area. I DARE HER. (Actually, I don't because people can and do die in this heat, which is why the city sets up cooling stations for people who don't have AC and some places offer free window units, too.) 

Don't tell me not to use AC when you have literally no concept of life-threatening heat. Piss off.

(Heck, it's not even noon yet, and it's already warmer in May than it is for her in mid-July. And ... we've got a ways to go before we reach our high today, lol.) 

[Frog99]

@polecat I agree completely about the AC. Our area also opens cooling stations and encourages the use of AC. We have had instances of deaths from the heat- typically the elderly or very young because the house has been so hot. My husband is a part time paramedic in a resort town and they have had to treat beach goers for heat exhaustion. The ocean breeze in the height of summer can be very misleading.