Lori Alexander 46: She Sure Is Highly Edumacated

[delphinium65]

10 minutes ago, EmiGirl said:

I'll be the first to admit that I have never known poverty. I'm incredibly thankful for this. But I will also admit that due to my inexperience I can't tell others to just do what I do because it may not work for them.

There's nothing wrong with not understanding someone else's life.  If you haven't been there, done that, you're not going to fully get it.  But you're willing to admit it.  Not only will Lori not admit to a lack of knowledge, she makes it crystal clear that she doesn't care enough to try, or even refer her readers to someone who can actually help.  

@EowynW  I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you.  I hope it all works out even better than you hoped!  

[Petronella]

3 hours ago, Krissy said:

Because study after study does prove how devastating divorce is. Who knows how much this persons life changed after the divorce? Maybe their needs weren’t getting met because mom was struggling herself. Some kids or adults are more resilient than others.

I have no doubt that divorce can be painful for the children involved, but it is really, really important to gain perspective in adulthood that your parents were and are three-dimensional people in their own right, who had painful struggles of their own and hard choices to make. It’s also important to accept that divorce itself didn’t destroy the family; the marriage relationship was already broken, which is why they divorced. In most cases the choice wasn’t divorce or happily ever after; it was divorce, with the chance to do better, or stay together miserable (and in some cases in danger). Focusing on the divorce itself as THE cause of the pain is to miss the bigger picture.

1 hour ago, Krissy said:

I wonder if she had bad parents myself because of how Lori is? It’s really too late now to examine because her mom is dying. Most families do protect abuse so her aunt confronting isn’t surprising. 

Lori is viciously unkind, selfish, greedy, lazy, and mean. This has been demonstrated by her words and actions over and over. Her aunts, on the other hand, seem to be kind and empathetic. No, I don’t at all think that Lori is a victim and her aunts are covering it up. Nope. Hard disagree.

And Lori would also disagree. She has never claimed abuse or said anything that has implied it. She complains about her parents for not practicing and preaching extreme wifely submission. That’s the big letdown of her childhood. It’s bonkers.

[Krissy]

38 minutes ago, Petronella said:

I have no doubt that divorce can be painful for the children involved, but it is really, really important to gain perspective in adulthood that your parents were and are three-dimensional people in their own right, who had painful struggles of their own and hard choices to make. It’s also important to accept that divorce itself didn’t destroy the family; the marriage relationship was already broken, which is why they divorced. In most cases the choice wasn’t divorce or happily ever after; it was divorce, with the chance to do better, or stay together miserable (and in some cases in danger). Focusing on the divorce itself as THE cause of the pain is to miss the bigger picture.

Lori is viciously unkind, selfish, greedy, lazy, and mean. This has been demonstrated by her words and actions over and over. Her aunts, on the other hand, seem to be kind and empathetic. No, I don’t at all think that Lori is a victim and her aunts are covering it up. Nope. Hard disagree.

And Lori would also disagree. She has never claimed abuse or said anything that has implied it. She complains about her parents for not practicing and preaching extreme wifely submission. That’s the big letdown of her childhood. It’s bonkers.

could it be her mom was overly mean too? I guess what would be the opposite of wifely submission? I think of my own mom who was extremely mean, rude, bossy, violent towards her men in her life. my mom has been married 3 times and is engaged to be married a 4th time now. I believe some church or morals might have helped my mom and in turn helped her children. So when I see someone like Lori I just assume they want something better than what they had growing up. there has to be a reason why she hates everything that isn't biblical submission. it could be herself too. she might struggle with being submissive so she aggressively "guides" other women to be that way lol. I in no way believe she is some submissive wife but I think she would like to be. 

[refugee]

14 hours ago, feministxtian said:

@Briefly hubs gets paid one week from today. There won't be any bills paid out of it, it'll all go to gas tanks and groceries because...I WAS OFFERED A GOOD JOB TODAY WITH BENNIES!!! However, I'll never ever forget what broke-ass feels like...been there too many times. Sending you a gentle hug. 

Just realized there’s not a smiley for “Yayyyyyy!!!!!!!!” 

I think I remember a confetti-tossing graphic but have no idea how to access it from my phone.

[Krissy]

1 hour ago, delphinium65 said:

There's nothing wrong with not understanding someone else's life.  If you haven't been there, done that, you're not going to fully get it.  But you're willing to admit it.  Not only will Lori not admit to a lack of knowledge, she makes it crystal clear that she doesn't care enough to try, or even refer her readers to someone who can actually help.  

@EowynW  I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you.  I hope it all works out even better than you hoped!  

I hear this a lot from poor people and I've been poor growing up. but I never expected the rich to give me second thought. I just don't know if it's good to have that much anger towards people who have money or means. I'm not understanding why? does she owe it to poor people to feel bad for where she is? does she need to think of them? I guess I can see why i'ts upsetting when most of the women she talks to are in fact very poor. I don't know why she doesn't preach to the more middle class or upper middle? 

[Krissy]

1 hour ago, delphinium65 said:

There's nothing wrong with not understanding someone else's life.  If you haven't been there, done that, you're not going to fully get it.  But you're willing to admit it.  Not only will Lori not admit to a lack of knowledge, she makes it crystal clear that she doesn't care enough to try, or even refer her readers to someone who can actually help.  

@EowynW  I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you.  I hope it all works out even better than you hoped!  

I think Lori would be much happier if she did what the other wives do that live in huge mansions like she does. go to yoga, spin class, high tea, skiing in the winter, summer in warmer weather, ect. make friends with people from her station in life. you know what I think? they have rejected her for whatever reason so shes going for a more accepting group. I do find it fascinating though that she is drawn to the more disadvantaged when shes not. what are your thoughts as to why she does this?

[refugee]

14 hours ago, EowynW said:

It was basically a "it isn't panning out like we expected so don't come in. We'll mail you your last check. And if it gets better we will call you later this year."

It was a local greenhouse that went too all out too fast. Her husband quit his job to help her run the business early this year and honestly, it was just too much too soon, they should've kept that primary job. I'm not totally surprised. But disappointed at how it was handled, since this is a Christian couple who owns the business. I would've liked one more week with a more thoughtful heads up. Ag/garden stuff is an up and down business and we go through slow patches normally, but just to be told "you're done for a good while,  sorry but it is how it is" the night before your workday was still a bit upsetting. 

And yea, I totally was sitting here this morning thinking "well, maybe they're right and my only purpose really is just to get pregnant and keep house." Funny how it's still so easy to get knocked back into that line of thinking after trying to run so far from it. 

We'll make it okay though. I still have my second job and all bills are being met with just a bit to still save. Mr. EW, bless him, never skipped a beat. That is the steadiest, most solid man I've ever met. 

Will be thinking of you.

This is probably a whole nother topic, but I am reminded that I don’t react the same way to “christian” signaling on business advertising the way I used to.

The word “Christian” associated with good business practices has become an oxymoron. It shouldn’t be that way, but it is. Nowadays, if I’m told some business is christian or if their advertising has christian signaling (symbols, specific words), I tend to steer clear and go with a different business.

[Koala]

1 minute ago, Krissy said:

I hear this a lot from poor people and I've been poor growing up. but I never expected the rich to give me second thought. I just don't know if it's good to have that much anger towards people who have money or means. I'm not understanding why? does she owe it to poor people to feel bad for where she is? does she need to think of them? I guess I can see why i'ts upsetting when most of the women she talks to are in fact very poor. I don't know why she doesn't preach to the more middle class or upper middle? 

No one is angry at Lori for having money.  No one thinks she should feel bad for where she is.  

People are mad, because Lori advocates a lifestyle that naturally lends itself to poverty.  She practically stands on her head calling for:

-Homeschooling (no matter how ill equipped the family is)

-No college (and she'll likely call your salvation into question if you don't agree with her)

-Early marriage (before "having all of your ducks in a row")

-As many children as possible (no matter that she only had 4,herself)

Then she turns around and:

-Insists that people "can't afford not to..." buy all organic, shop at the health food store, invest in fake cures to totally treatable illnesses, etc.  

-Expects single moms to stay home (how is that even done?)  Claims they don't trust God if they refuse

-Refuses to tithe (suggesting that it may even be a sin).  Expects the church to fully support widows.

-Brags on all of her expensive crap, while claiming to be frugal.

-Brags that she's never had or needed a budget.  Brags that she keeps a careful budget (yeah, one of these things doesn't fit).

-Tells people to live simply.  Lives extravagantly herself.

-Tells people to forgo vacations and restaurants.  Vacations for 12+ weeks / eats out multiple times a week.

That is why people are mad.  "Poor" people don't want anything from Lori, but (decent) people in general detest hypocrisy (of which Lori is the queen).

And as for your suggestion that she "preach to the more middle class or upper middle"- Gotta agree with you there.  It's important for a godly woman to realize that poor people just don't operate on the same level as the rest of us, and put an appropriate amount of distance between us.  (scathing sarcasm). 

No, a better suggestion would be for her to practice what she preaches, or quit preaching at all.  

[Petronella]

17 minutes ago, Krissy said:

I hear this a lot from poor people and I've been poor growing up. but I never expected the rich to give me second thought. I just don't know if it's good to have that much anger towards people who have money or means. I'm not understanding why? does she owe it to poor people to feel bad for where she is? does she need to think of them? I guess I can see why i'ts upsetting when most of the women she talks to are in fact very poor. I don't know why she doesn't preach to the more middle class or upper middle? 

The problem is that Lori tells people that THEIR VERY SALVATION depends on doing EXACTLY what she says, with no room for personal judgment or what she calls “exceptions.” The things she commands (claiming to speak for God) are inherently poverty-inducing, such as: narrow homeschooling only followed by no higher education, women must stay home and not work at all, sex must be had very very frequently with no birth control, and marriage must produce as many children as possible.

It’s not that she’s aiming her message at poor people and should instead aim for middle/upper class, as you suggested (and that makes me pretty uncomfortable, to be honest); it’s that people who follow these teachings are, much more often than not, going to be made poor by these teachings. Her audience is largely poor BECAUSE they follow these teachings.

[Hisey]

5 minutes ago, refugee said:

Will be thinking of you.

This is probably a whole nother topic, but I am reminded that I don’t react the same way to “christian” signaling on business advertising the way I used to.

The word “Christian” associated with good business practices has become an oxymoron. It shouldn’t be that way, but it is. Nowadays, if I’m told some business is christian or if their advertising has christian signaling (symbols, specific words), I tend to steer clear and go with a different business.

I have never heard of the words "Christian" and "business" being used together, and implying that means it's a good thing. That is totally new to me.

Maybe I don't understand it correctly, but doesn't it imply that all the "others" (Jews, Hindus, etc) do not run things as well, or as honestly, or as efficiently? (or whatever the phrase implies?)

Honestly just trying to understand here.

[Petronella]

22 minutes ago, Krissy said:

could it be her mom was overly mean too? I guess what would be the opposite of wifely submission? I think of my own mom who was extremely mean, rude, bossy, violent towards her men in her life. my mom has been married 3 times and is engaged to be married a 4th time now. I believe some church or morals might have helped my mom and in turn helped her children. So when I see someone like Lori I just assume they want something better than what they had growing up. there has to be a reason why she hates everything that isn't biblical submission. it could be herself too. she might struggle with being submissive so she aggressively "guides" other women to be that way lol. I in no way believe she is some submissive wife but I think she would like to be. 

Your parents’ situation sounds upsetting, but that was not what Lori grew up with. And Lori doesn’t advocate for gentleness, empathy, mutual understanding, as one might wish for in contrast to a harsh role model. Instead she advocates for a mechanical “submission” role that has nothing to do with love and respect, but is instead a weird cookie-cutter roleplay.

[Koala]

Also, being "poor" doesn't make the person.  There are people here with very little in the way of money, but they are far richer than Lori, because they are decent human beings.  In reality, Lori is the "poor" one.  

 

1 minute ago, Hisey said:

I have never heard of the words "Christian" and "business" being used together, and implying that means it's a good thing. That is totally new to me.

I am in the south, and it's a big thing here.  It's not uncommon at all to hear people refer to running a Christian business, or even putting religious symbols on products that have nothing whatsoever to do with religion.

Funny story- We are atheist.  There is a hot dog sauce that we really like.  One day we were passing it around after a BBQ, when we noticed the fish (religious symbol).  By that it has "Christ is our CEO".  I kid you not.  

On the company's website, you can find the following:

Quote

We have placed true ownership of (redacted) in the hands of God. “Christ is our CEO”  and He is an Awesome Boss!

Pure crazy cakes.  

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

21 minutes ago, Krissy said:

I hear this a lot from poor people and I've been poor growing up. but I never expected the rich to give me second thought. I just don't know if it's good to have that much anger towards people who have money or means. I'm not understanding why? does she owe it to poor people to feel bad for where she is? does she need to think of them? I guess I can see why i'ts upsetting when most of the women she talks to are in fact very poor. I don't know why she doesn't preach to the more middle class or upper middle? 

@Koala and @Petronella addressed this really well, but I would say that yes, she needs to think of the poor if she's going to call herself a Christian.  

I am sorry your mother was mean and I know what it is like to wonder what could have been   my mother could be quite cruel and she was also very religious with a church to guide her and my parents stayed together until they were in their 60s....it was miserable and abusive too.

@EowynW I don't pray anymore, but I will hold you in my heart.

@feministxtian I am so happy to hear your good news!

[SongRed7]

1 hour ago, Krissy said:

I just don't know if it's good to have that much anger towards people who have money or means. I'm not understanding why? does she owe it to poor people to feel bad for where she is? does she need to think of them?

I think you are missing the point IMHO.  People don't have anger towards her because she has wealth. I don't be grudge people what they get in life by hard work (or in this case Ken's hard work). Life is unfair and despite people's best efforts, some people have more than others.

What irks people about Lori is that she has a total disconnect when it comes to other people's life circumstances and her "one size fits all" preachings.  Then she flaunts her wealth (her expensive food scale,  all organic $50 a batch organic cookies and bread, $70 skirts, etc).  Good for her for being able to buy those things. But she should have a little humility when she preaches to others that these things are "the way God intended"  or preaching frugality, women not working, etc. to those whose circumstances are far different. 

And while it might be hard to imagine a life different than your own when you've never experienced it (e.g. really understanding what living in poverty or paycheck to paycheck means) if that isn't your reality, COMMON SENSE should tell you otherwise and to be humble.  Or kind. Or both. 

And yes, as Christians we are to THINK of others and help those in need. Not just preach at them. Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'

[refugee]

24 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I have never heard of the words "Christian" and "business" being used together, and implying that means it's a good thing. That is totally new to me.

Maybe I don't understand it correctly, but doesn't it imply that all the "others" (Jews, Hindus, etc) do not run things as well, or as honestly, or as efficiently? (or whatever the phrase implies?)

Honestly just trying to understand here.

It’s tribalism, if I’m using the word correctly. Have you ever noticed the ads in the Yellow Pages (do they still do that?) with a little dove or fish or cross symbol worked into the ad design? 

It was a real thing in christian culture in the last few decades to help out “fellow believers” by patronizing their business. There was also some expectation that people would cut their rates for church members, sometimes to their hurt.

In some areas of the US, the advertising was blatant, and the hidden message (maybe not so hidden?) was that you’d get a better deal and higher quality from christians. Not that it was true, of course.

In our experience, people with integrity (clarification: am not tying integrity to profession of faith of any kind) provided good quality and solid service. Some “Christians” have integrity. Many don’t, from our experience. The church has as many con artists and cheats as general society. Maybe even more.

[Hisey]

2 hours ago, Krissy said:

I wonder if she had bad parents myself because of how Lori is? It’s really too late now to examine because her mom is dying. Most families do protect abuse so her aunt confronting isn’t surprising. 

I do notice her kids, daughters especially, aren’t supporting Lori on loris blog. That’s really the biggest proof of loris life legacy is did it work? Are her kids rising up and calling her blessed? You know, how the Bible says kids do for godly parents. Where’s the fruit of loris testimony? Also, her kids are relatively successful so I almost wonder if she’s actually doing what she preaches on her blog?

Her kids do not seem financially successful, though they may have happy marriages (I wouldn't know).

The oldest earns money as a part-time dance instructor. I don't think that can pay the bills in the San Diego area. I imagine her husband's job pays the bills, but even he has had to seek help from the Alexander parents when he needed a job a while back.

Ryan has a job because his dad has given him one.

Stephen is the most professionally successful, since he made it through orthodontia training. However, it seems highly likely Ken helped him buy his practice. Ken is old friends with the guy Steven is working with.

Cassi seems sad and beaten down and has never had a real "career". This is understandable since Lori discouraged this. She's worked in orthodontic offices, and her dad probably got her those jobs. Lori and Ken have pretty much admitted that they help support Cassi, her hubby and her two kids while the hubby is going through dental school. So unlike other families, where the mom will work to put the dad through school, Cassi has the luxury of having babies and the luxury of staying at home with them. 

So, successful? Not really. Dependent on their parents' wealth in order to appear middle class? Definitely.

I'm not trying to knock the Alexander kids, I'm just pointing out that -- although they are in their twenties and thirties--they rely on their parents' help to avoid life's hardships (like working fulltime while having two babies, or going on unemployment when you lose your job) and to appear middle class.

[Koala]

9 minutes ago, IntrinsicallyDisordered said:

@Koala and @Petronella addressed this really well, but I would say that yes, she needs to think of the poor if she's going to call herself a Christian.  

Another great point.  It's kind of a theme in the Bible, isn't it?

[polecat]

3 hours ago, Krissy said:

I wonder if she had bad parents myself because of how Lori is? It’s really too late now to examine because her mom is dying. Most families do protect abuse so her aunt confronting isn’t surprising. 

snip

 

Lori is a known liar and unreliable narrator. I'd take her aunts' version any day over Lori's, and their comments read authentically to me. I don't know how her parents were, but I don't really get the idea that they were necessarily abusive in the conventional sense, either. I do suspect they were extremely indulgent, and I doubt that Lori ever had to face consequences for her behavior but rather had excuses made for her every step of the way -- resulting in the spoiled, entitled diva we see now, a woman who cannot tolerate anyone telling her "no" or thwarting her getting her way. 

People who have suffered physical or mental abuse typically turn their trauma inward -- they self-harm, they repeat the patterns by becoming involved with abusive partners, they self-medicate with drugs or alcohol, they suffer from depression and PTSD ... I see not a single sign that Lori was raised in anything like an abusive family. (Although I could possibly make the argument that raising your child with such an extreme sense of entitlement just might be a form of emotional neglect). 

[Escadora]

30 minutes ago, Krissy said:

I don't know why she doesn't preach to the more middle class or upper middle? 

Because they wouldn't look up to her, and you better know that Lori expects adoration and endless respect.

These women that Lori 'teaches' who struggle very much to make it on one income, raising their however many kids may be encouraged by someone like Lori, who can sit on her butt all day monitoring the chat rooms and desperately trying to go viral!!! doing nothing whilst her husband works, might believe that the Alexanders' lifestyle is something they too can obtain if only they are submissive enough. Never mind Lori's abundant hypocrisy, selfish attitudes, her shambles of a marriage, and her being fortunate enough to have come from a well-off family and be married to someone who's been able to keep her in the lifestyle she wants to live.

No, the middle and upper classes have nothing to aspire to when it comes to someone like Lori, unless they have no desire but to be a gossip (which isn't totally out of the question given the Godly Mentor herself). Money brings choice, and who the hell would choose to stay quiet and sweet in a chronically unhappy or potentially abusive marriage if they had the chance, social support, and money to leave? 

 

[polecat]

33 minutes ago, Krissy said:

I think Lori would be much happier if she did what the other wives do that live in huge mansions like she does. go to yoga, spin class, high tea, skiing in the winter, summer in warmer weather, ect. make friends with people from her station in life. you know what I think? they have rejected her for whatever reason so shes going for a more accepting group. I do find it fascinating though that she is drawn to the more disadvantaged when shes not. what are your thoughts as to why she does this?

Because (as my mom always used to say), money cannot buy class. Lori has one of the most vulgar mouths and minds I've ever seen. On top of that, she's cruel. Cruelty and crassness do not make for a nice person, and no amount of money or beauty products will fix that.

 

[molecule]

3 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

We played a similar game. When my two oldest (25, 22 now) were little there was a show on called Big Comfy Couch. At the end they had a segment called the "10 second tidy" and they play fast/fun music and the character ran around and cleaned up. I used that phrase for my kids "OK, lets do the 10 second tidy" and they enjoyed running around picking things up and cleaning up after themselves.    Positive reinforcement and both of them are fairly neat to this day. 

My kids are around the same age, and we did the "10 second tidy" thing a lot, too. I really liked that show. We also did the Barney clean-up song. Annoying, but it worked.

[Maggie Mae]

1 hour ago, Krissy said:

I hear this a lot from poor people and I've been poor growing up. but I never expected the rich to give me second thought. I just don't know if it's good to have that much anger towards people who have money or means. I'm not understanding why? does she owe it to poor people to feel bad for where she is? does she need to think of them? I guess I can see why i'ts upsetting when most of the women she talks to are in fact very poor. I don't know why she doesn't preach to the more middle class or upper middle? 

My family's income was pretty fluid as a kid. Long story short, poverty (like, living in the refugee house at church poor and staying at Grandma's for weeks) and then the opposite of poverty (nice house, new furniture, cars, travel, private school). I don't care much for wealthy people who call themselves "Christian" and don't do anything for people with less means. I don't care much for people like Lori who look down on the poor and expect them to somehow get more money in a system that is designed to keep the poor struggling and unskilled. Jesus preached a lot about corruption in the temple, pharisees, feeding the poor and healing the sick, and not judging others for their failures. Lori fails at being a Christian. She calls herself a Christian, but she is more concerned about making sure women stay home than making sure homeless people have food. I also don't care much for wealthy people (or even middle class folk) who can't see how income and education is passed down through generations and "working hard" isn't going to magically make someone get out of poverty. Lori's money isn't the problem for me, it's her lack of education and inability to think about anything beyond the surface. 

[jumpingjill]

1 hour ago, Petronella said:

The problem is that Lori tells people that THEIR VERY SALVATION depends on doing EXACTLY what she says, with no room for personal judgment or what she calls “exceptions.” The things she commands (claiming to speak for God) are inherently poverty-inducing, such as: narrow homeschooling only followed by no higher education, women must stay home and not work at all, sex must be had very very frequently with no birth control, and marriage must produce as many children as possible.

 

Thank God all Christians don't have that mindset that we have to do xyz for Salvation or there would not be any Christians. Who would want to worship a God like that?

[Koala]

I like this comment:

Quote

Hey-You won’t see me when you get up for school kids, I have this 12 hour shift to work. I’ll be back home by 8pm, so hopefully you or your dad can make dinner. I’ll be too tired to cook, clean or spend real quality time with you as well ensure you’re a good student and help with homework- but it’s worth it in the end cause you see an educated, independent, and working woman as your mother who followed her dream....

Imagine how their tunes would change, if it read something like this:

Quote

Hey-You won’t see me when you get up for school kids, I have this 12 hour shift to work. I’ll be back home by 8pm, so hopefully you or your dad mom can make dinner. I’ll be too tired to cook, clean or spend real quality time with you as well ensure you’re a good student and help with homework- but it’s worth it in the end cause you see an educated, independent, and working woman hard worker, as your mother father who followed her dream worked to put food on the table....

Let's face it- if this was a father instead of mother, they would be singing his praises, and carrying on about how the wife should make him his favorite dinner, clean the house spotless, and rub his "smelly" feet (as Lori so delicately put it).  The would belittle the wife for not doing anything and everything to please him, since he works so hard to provide for his family. 

But the mom?  She works to provide, and we make her a villain.  

-Signed, 

A stay at home mom, that realizes it isn't for everyone (or even possible for everyone)

[delphinium65]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

No one is angry at Lori for having money.  No one thinks she should feel bad for where she is.  
~snip~

No, a better suggestion would be for her to practice what she preaches, or quit preaching at all.  

You said it much better than I could have, thank you!    

1 hour ago, Krissy said:

I think Lori would be much happier if she did what the other wives do that live in huge mansions like she does. go to yoga, spin class, high tea, skiing in the winter, summer in warmer weather, ect. make friends with people from her station in life. you know what I think? they have rejected her for whatever reason so shes going for a more accepting group. I do find it fascinating though that she is drawn to the more disadvantaged when shes not. what are your thoughts as to why she does this?

I think her 'ministry' to the disadvantaged allows her to feel superior to them, while appearing  to 'help,' although now that you mention it, she may very well have been rejected by the other wives you mention.  If she tried to tell them how to live...yeah, I could see them telling her where she can stick it.  I think everyone involved would be happier if Lori found some kind of hobby or activity to enjoy!