Jump to content
  • Sky
  • Blueberry
  • Slate
  • Blackcurrant
  • Watermelon
  • Strawberry
  • Orange
  • Banana
  • Apple
  • Emerald
  • Chocolate
  • Charcoal
Jellybean

Bro. Gary Hawkins 6: Dancing Cocktail Weenies

Recommended Posts

Waffle Time
Beermeet

I can only guess Becky likes this control.  Less thinking, just follow and be stoked on cheap shit and cheap gestures.  No thanks.

  • Upvote 2
  • Sad 1
  • I Agree 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Waffle Time
smittykins
17 hours ago, SuperNova said:

This has to be an awesome autocorrect, yes? I have this mental picture of an octopus wrapped in a scarf. 

Mine also has a wool hat and mittens on all eight arms.

  • Upvote 4
  • Haha 6
  • Love 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ElToro
Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, FullOfGravy said:

It was thrown around a bit in an earlier Bro Gary thread, 

And our dear Lord Rufus sent the Polar Octopus to North Carolina, to tell Bro Gary that he would conceive, and, lo!, He was made incarnate with the Virgin Hawkins and unto him a Son was born, who they named Jesus Chris. And He was born in a lowly trailer (without a motor) and suckers came from the internet and bought gifts of toothpasta, quality jury and RVs. And the whole of Free Jinger did rejoiceth for he bought joy and laughter to those Heathen Sisters. Here endeth the lesson.

Edited by ElToro
Autocorrect gone wrong
  • Upvote 2
  • Haha 27
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
OhNoNike
4 hours ago, Beermeet said:

I can only guess Becky likes this control.  Less thinking, just follow and be stoked on cheap shit and cheap gestures.  No thanks.

I agree. I don’t know details of her previous relationship and I don’t want to speculate on specifics, but can see how a level of control can make someone feel wanted.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
keepercjr
Posted (edited)

Praying for the Singee for today!  And $2500 for the whole but!   They need a whole lot of money and have literally no way to make it other than to ask for prayers (aka please send me a check).  

D9EF8548-D343-44B7-9BB1-301DEBE151A9.thumb.jpeg.bd6f340ac8eedd9e2cb9ca8cfba567ad.jpeg

It just occurred to me that g&b are probably collecting child support from Gary’s ex.  I found some court documents a few days ago that Becky had sued her ex in court for back child support several years ago (and it was paid).  If Gary or she gets a job, Becky will be liable for child support to her ex since she no longer has custody of the kids.  Their life was probably a lot cushier when she had the kids.

Edited by keepercjr
  • Upvote 5
  • Haha 3
  • I Agree 2
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
cara

I think becky has a few health issues. She has to use a mobility scooter sometimes (maybe because she's quite obese?) And mentioned Gary taking care of her after surgery. I get the feeling she's quite vulnerable, physically and financially. 

  • Upvote 4
  • Sad 1
  • WTF 1
  • I Agree 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SuperNova

Ok folks, let me see if I'm understanding the Weenese. Gary believes the Lord is doing something to tell him he's on the right track because his brother (Gary's not Jesus) found a big bus on Craigslist with the exact motor he needs for only $2500. So now God is placing Craigslist ads? Does Gary feel that his prayers are more realistic because this shitty bus is cheaper than the $3200 dollar van the Lord originally sent his way? Why did the Lord downgrade his gift?  Does God plan on sending Gary a mechanic to install the new/used motor? So many questions as to how Lottery Jesus works! 

  • Upvote 8
  • Haha 1
  • Love 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Meh
PumaLover
Posted (edited)

Ok folks, first off would you mind if I drew up an official illustration of the Polar Octopus? I'm an artist and that's what I do. I thought it might be fun :)

Secondly, there is a person in our local mountain group who is on his/her way of Bro G level gritting. You see, this person is starting small, asking for a free weed whacker or ride on mower. We bought our mower for like $3000 used. They are not cheap! But I thought y'all might enjoy the dialogue. Especially since this person seems to also speak a form of Weenese.

Spoiler

4b7295725708b2dbf307889012c191f7.jpg

Spoiler

4cfcbbf3136163b97cd104dabe0b556d.jpg

Spoiler

10f5b794bbfac7fbd1d16e83c922f9ad.jpg



Thirdly I am aware that if there is a hell I am definitely going there for posting this. I will bring the vodka.

Edited by Jellybean
Added spoiler for multiple images
  • Upvote 8
  • Haha 10
  • Love 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
SuperNova

I for one would love to see the Polar Octopus!

And yeah, my husband has been shopping for a ride on lawn mower and they aren't cheap. A small one runs about $1100 at the local home improvement store. Why didn't I think about asking the Lord to send one our way? I'll ask him for one on Craigslist. Or maybe you can all meet us down at the store and we can hold hands and Pray Around the Lawn Mower. That might get the Lord's attention.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Meh
PumaLover

OMG I just now saw that my phone changed grifting to gritting. WTF is gritting?? I'm working on a Polar Octopus illustration and tried to explain it to my husband. I told him it was related to the Weenie Man. He shook his head and said we are all crazy. Please band together with me, sistren. 

  • Upvote 5
  • Haha 17
  • Love 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Coy Koi
7 hours ago, keepercjr said:

It just occurred to me that g&b are probably collecting child support from Gary’s ex.  I found some court documents a few days ago that Becky had sued her ex in court for back child support several years ago (and it was paid).  If Gary or she gets a job, Becky will be liable for child support to her ex since she no longer has custody of the kids.  Their life was probably a lot cushier when she had the kids.

I've thought that too, that they must have been much better off a few years ago (when they made the decision to go into "full time ministry") if they were getting child support for seven kids. Their expenses wouldn't have been all that much higher since they don't bother giving their kids basic necessities anyway, but their income was probably several times what it is now.

Even without a job, they may be on the hook for paying child support. It can be calculated using potential income for parents who could work, but choose not to. That would be at least full time at minimum wage, but in Becky's case, possibly higher since she has the ability to earn more than minimum wage. No idea if her ex bothers to try to collect or not though. I'm sure he knows he'll never see much, if any, money from the Weens.

4 hours ago, PumaLover said:

Ok folks, first off would you mind if I drew up an official illustration of the Polar Octopus? I'm an artist and that's what I do. I thought it might be fun :)

I can't wait to see it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
OhNoNike

Can’t wait to see the polar octopus.  I loved it the first time I saw it in the thread but didn’t comment because there had been additional conversation.  Cannot wait to see the illustration.  I would love to use it in daily conversation but no one would get it. 

It does seem this should have been a character on Octonauts, though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FundieFarmer

I LOVE the polar octopus. I have had my avatar since I joined years ago but might be tempted to change to the octopus!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Georgiana

@PumaLover, Bless his little mitteny tentacles, that is so cute!!!!

On the topic of Becky, she's a REAL piece of work.  There is NO excuse for her abandoning her children the way she has.  None.  She chose Bro Gary over her kids, and that says a lot about her.  And while her nursing license is now lapsed, it very likely wasn't when Bro Gary came along.  She didn't NEED him or his lifestyle.  She chose it.

I think she is desperate to be loved and found attractive and that her husband divorcing her and coming out really did a number on her self-esteem. She gave birth to a fair few kids, and it's possible that many of her health issues stem from or were made worse by her pregnancies.  People forget how ROUGH it is on a woman's body...especially so for some women.  If Becky essentially sacrificed her body to bring children into the world for herself and her then-husband, only to have her husband turn around and suddenly leave her now that her body is broken...that's got to be devastating.  And they must have been married for a good while.  I think Becky, in desperation, attached herself to the first man who gave her attention: Weens McGee.  And I don't think she minds the control because it's better than the uncertainty of being alone.  My friend did the same thing after his divorce because he was so embarrassed to be a divorcee (or a "divorce-o" as Jax Taylor would say) that he rushed into remarriage immediately as a way to hide from the stigma.

I think she threw herself into religion, but what she really needs is therapy.  Therapy, and a better diet.  Weight aside, the diet they eat in the Ween household is incredibly poor and there is no way it is helping her with any health issues.   It's probably contributing to them.  

  • Upvote 4
  • I Agree 6
  • Love 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Waffle Time
catlady
Posted (edited)
22 hours ago, cara said:

I think becky has a few health issues. She has to use a mobility scooter sometimes (maybe because she's quite obese?) And mentioned Gary taking care of her after surgery. I get the feeling she's quite vulnerable, physically and financially. 

i'm really on the fence regarding Becky and her nursing career, because i simply don't know enough about her background.  while it's certainly possible that she walked away from a decent job in favor of the weens-n-gravy life with Gary, it's just as possible that her health forced her out.   being on one's feet for an entire shift five days a week can certainly bring on joint pain and damage (regardless of one's weight), so maybe Becky had no choice to leave the field, especially if she wasn't able to get into an administrative position.  

but none of that answers the $64,000 Question--why why why did she think Gary was a good choice?

Edited by catlady
Clarity

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Waffle Time
Texas Heifer
Posted (edited)
On 5/2/2018 at 10:33 AM, keepercjr said:

for almost 6 years being a help hlep to small and struggling churches

FTFY, Garynbecky.

On 5/2/2018 at 7:35 PM, Dandruff said:

I think hair deserves more credit.

In the immortal words of Emma in the Canadian sitcom Corner Gas, Bro Gary is "about as sharp as a sock full of soup."

Edited by Texas Heifer
OCD. Just consider this a blanket reason for me editing my posts
  • Upvote 2
  • Haha 10
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Waffle Time
Texas Heifer
Posted (edited)

I just watched about 45 seconds of the May 1st live video through my fingers, because Gary is so fucking embarrassing, and when he said "Ah guess...Sprung has summerized" and chuckled at his own amazing wit, I literally shouted "OH MY GOD" and noped out.

I cannot watch, I can't bear to watch Becky humiliated by that insufferable twatwaffle. I know Gary is immune to mortification because he is JUST SO STUPID and I know Becky chose this (but whyyyyyyyy)...still, I can't watch it happen. I can't. Not even with a patented Embarrassment Pillow(tm) behind which to hide. I will have to take y'all's word for it.

Sis Tex, 8lbs 5oz, 11 days late, sitting on my mother's sciatic nerve

Edited by Texas Heifer
  • Upvote 6
  • Haha 6
  • Love 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Coy Koi

ghaw16.PNG.7e1e3acb1c507418bf93ac20abe4463d.PNG

I THINK he's saying now he just wants to replace the motor in the bus (even though I thought it had nothing to do with what he wants, and was only about what the Lord wants) and have that only, and forget about the 15-passenger van.

So crazy how not long ago, he really thought he'd be able to raise $60k to buy that other, nice RV, when he can hardly even scrape together a few hundred dollars. And who is to say that the motor he wants to purchase is any good? It's hard to believe that anyone could not find a better cause to donate to than this buswreck.

@PumaLover I love the polar octopus!

  • Upvote 5
  • Thank You 1
  • Love 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
keepercjr

If he can’t get the other $2000 that he needs soon, how long do you think that $700 will last?  My guess is not long!

  • Upvote 6
  • I Agree 2
  • Love 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Coy Koi
5 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

If he can’t get the other $2000 that he needs soon, how long do you think that $700 will last?  My guess is not long!

How many pyramid schemes can you join for $700? Stay tuned to find out!

  • Upvote 3
  • Haha 9
  • I Agree 2
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
OhNoNike
2 minutes ago, Coy Koi said:

How many pyramid schemes can you join for $700? Stay tuned to find out!

The only one they can’t with that money may be lularoe lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Waffle Time
Texas Heifer

I think they should try Monat, and Gary should use it on his beard.

Maybe that makes me an asshole, but he deserves sores all over his blathering mug. If it thins his hair further, well, even better.

Just don't use it on the kids!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Meh
PumaLover

OK folks, I hope it's OK that I derail the thread for a moment to share my scary experience today. I'm finally calmed down now but still shaken up a bit. (Apologize in advance for profanity).

I recently moved to the mountains, my dream property. The place up the hill behind us is a rental and now for sale. Some new people have moved in and are extremely loud, disruptive and straight up angry. There are definite DV issues going on (ongoing from what I have heard). The guy screams and cusses at the lady in there and today I found out there is a young daughter.

I was playing with my dog outside and my other dog started barking like crazy. I heard the new neighbor down at the property line with my neighbor to the north, down the hill. Screaming at the top of his fucking lungs. Fuck you, fuck your shit, I'll fuck your shit up, you fucking pussy. Mind you, this is a quiet mountain community! We all came up here because we hate the city and having neighbors. From what I could gather there was a dispute over property lines. The neighbor down the hill is cranky and not friendly and we've only had one interaction with him which went badly. He wants to be left alone. New Guy is standing at the property line cursing and screaming. This goes on for awhile. In the meantime I cam inside. I'm home alone and nervous but don't know if I should call the sheriff or not at this point.

Crazy Dude goes up the hill and fires two shots into the hill on his property. I hear his lady/wife/friend going on about firing shots and how people will call the cops. He starts screaming at her and she says, OK, I'm sorry. This guy is totally controlling AND has guns.

A bit later, I hear a scuffle out on the road in front of our property and my dogs are going crazy. We have trees and I could only barely make out a vehicle and hear Crazy Dude's roommate/guy friend/whatever saying to not do it, you're being emotional. He's saying the van is blocking the road. At that point I call 911 and load my rifle because I seriously don't know if this person is going to come on my property or not. I don't even have locking doors!! And all my animals are here so I wouldn't consider leaving. I was shaking so badly and I'm usually calm. I don't even like guns but had to learn how to use them since I came up here and we have wild animals. And apparently insane neighbors.

This dude told my neighbor to the north that he's buying that place and I hope like hell that isn't true. This is my paradise and I came up here to be calm and relaxed. This guy is stressing me out and now I feel horrible for the lady and little girl.

Thanks for letting me vent. I hope Bro G isn't as awful to Becks as this dude is :(

 

  • Sad 4
  • WTF 2
  • Love 24

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Waffle Time
MarblesMom

@PumaLover so sorry you have moved into what sounds like Nog-Land.

Hopefully these neighbors get things straightened out (with a licensed surveyor, perhaps?)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.



×