Bro. Gary Hawkins 6: Dancing Cocktail Weenies

[keepercjr]

This was his best video yet!  It is worth watching after the 15 min mark but if you really want to save time watch from 18 till the end. 

 I think the crying was fake.  That is a lot of emotional manipulation that I am sure he uses on the kids.  How are they supposed to hit the road?  Do they or do they not have a vee-hickle?  The video didn’t make it clear.  Also that story about how God was done dealing with some dude and then changed his mind?  Makes no sense to me.  So his god can just decide to be done with someone despite profuse professions of faith and begging?

@Yogi yea that had to be his son.  Don’t interrupt daddy!  

[General Jinjur]

25 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

This was his best video yet!  It is worth watching after the 15 min mark but if you really want to save time watch from 18 till the end. 

 I think the crying was fake.  That is a lot of emotional manipulation that I am sure he uses on the kids.  How are they supposed to hit the road?  Do they or do they not have a vee-hickle?  The video didn’t make it clear.  Also that story about how God was done dealing with some dude and then changed his mind?  Makes no sense to me.  So his god can just decide to be done with someone despite profuse professions of faith and begging?

@Yogi yea that had to be his son.  Don’t interrupt daddy!  

He said he was borrowing a veehickle. I wonder who'd be dumb enough to loan him one.

[seattlechic]

Bitches, NO. I am watching the video from last night and I want to kill myself.  NOOOOOOOO fucker, I did NOT get called on my sin. 

He reminds me of the guy from Inside the Actor's Studio LOL

Sis. Seattlechic

omg he is begging us all to be saved. this is too muchhhhhh

[keepercjr]

16 minutes ago, General Jinjur said:

He said he was borrowing a veehickle. I wonder who'd be dumb enough to loan him one.

Ah thanks!  I did have a few distractions while watching so I must have missed it. My guess is that a family member loaned him one.  Seems his whole family does Jesus stuff.  His brother, brother’s wife and his sister and sister’s husband all do that radio ministry along with his dad.  The video before this one mentioned 2 sisters and one brother and now I am dying trying to figure out who this other sister is and what she thinks of her dear ol brother.

[Texas Heifer]

3 hours ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

I can't be the only one who noticed that after a spiel filled with screams, crying, shouting, gesturing, and other theatrics, his demeanor was completely calm when he signed off.

Showmanship much?  

Honestly, I couldn't make it to the end. After 2 days of fibro flare and not enough sleep, I took my sleeping draught and passed out shortly after I posted here. Like I barely remember my last post. I'm just glad it wasn't offensive.

I may gird my loins and try again in a bit. 

Wish I had alcohol.

Am 

 

[Snarkylark]

New thread title? “Pissed off, perspiring preaching and selling PoppetScrotsy jewry from a $5 camping chair.” 

And to add- Bro Gary, maybe it’s God’s will that you get a job! You can preach to plenty of people on FB from your camping chair in the RV for just the cost of your internet connection. 

[keepercjr]

@Texas Heifer start watching just before 18 minutes and you will get the best of it all

Seriously friends.  His theatrics in that video are a do.not.miss.

[seattlechic]

7 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

@Texas Heifer start watching just before 18 minutes and you will get the best of it all

Seriously friends.  His theatrics in that video are a do.not.miss.

I wasn't able to watch more than 20 seconds here and there --- I couldn't stop laughing. 

[Tree Hugger 2]

On 5/21/2018 at 10:23 AM, Gimme a Free RV said:

Gary doesn't immediately get what he's dreaming for whilst burping weens and filming up his nostrils in his recliner. 

ROFL. That was an accurate description of Bro Gary's behavior. I snort laughed on that one.  

On this latest tirade, at first I was relieved that he was at least sitting up and thought perhaps he was making some progress in his delivery.   That didn't last long as it seems he might need to recline himself before he strokes out.  Good lordt at the anger for no monies from God, the hollerin because too many people going to hell, and praise Hallelujer they have a veehickle to borrow for next road trip.  This one was epic. It was sad.  

Sis Hugger

[PumaLover]

OK folks, I haven't watched the video yet because I'm enjoying a Chopped Grill Masters marathon while I clean and do laundry. I have very much enjoyed everyone's descriptions! I feel like I need full concentration to get through a Bro G video, and I need to watch it and not listen. I am looking forward to it now!

[Carol]

In hell you have all your five senses

Time's up for a' mending those fences

It's as bad as a woman in menses

But, hey, you'll avoid the Pences.

 

Chorus

I'm going' to hell, hell, hell

Well, well, well

It's there I'd rather dwell

Than bein' in a heavenly jail

 

Too tired to write another verse but I know someone will. :-)

[Gimme a Free RV]

On 5/23/2018 at 2:13 PM, PumaLover said:

I took a screen shot and his hands are flailing.

 

Gary, you kiss your wife with that fly trap of yours?

 

 

[PumaLover]

OK sistren, I'm finally watching it. My daughter came out of her room and said, is that that pastor guy? I recognized his voice. LOL

One good thing I will say, he sure is passionate about what he believes. But holy shit, he's raising my blood pressure. I would be scared if I was at a church and some guy just started screaming at us.

This video has inspired me to maybe change my profile pic to one of these amazing screenshots I took. I really love my current one but man, these might be too funny to pass up. 

(@jellybean I'm going to attempt to do a spoiler this time!)

Bro G flipping out

Spoiler

 

 

 

[mango_fandango]

For the next thread, I reckon we need a “weens” tag alongside the usual “gary hawkins” etc ones, because RED WEENS IN ME MAKE IT MORE PINK HALLAYLOOYER HAYMAYUN.

[Nikedagain?]

I get such an abuser vibe off of this loser. Makes my hair stand up. 

[acheronbeach]

This one's pure GOLD!!  I laughed til I cried.  20:30... Where he talks wildly about the beautiful skinny women (never fat women) on beer ads to lure you in... "BEER ISN'T WORTH IT!"

[Georgiana]

TORMENTS! Thats more than one, honey!

My tastebuds have gone snub! MY SNIFFERS GONE AGAINST MY NOSE!

 

(These are direct quotes)

[Destiny]

4 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

TORMENTS! Thats more than one, honey!

My tastebuds have gone snub! MY SNIFFERS GONE AGAINST MY NOSE!

 

(These are direct quotes)

... Those are words, English words, but they make no sense in the order presented. WTAF?

[acheronbeach]

I l

1 hour ago, Georgiana said:

TORMENTS! Thats more than one, honey!

My tastebuds have gone snub! MY SNIFFERS GONE AGAINST MY NOSE!

 

(These are direct quotes)

In context it makes ABSOLUTELY no more sense.  The violent waving of his hands doesn't help with comprehension, either...

"TOR-MENS!  TOR-MENS!  That's more than one, honey!!!  Pb..wha... you say what I am blind and I can't see an' my eyes are bad an' my ears are uh... mm... bad, and my tastebuds a'gone snub my sniffers gone 'gainst mah nose... haha... hay-men! .... I CAN'T!  I CAN'T!  In Hell you'll have all five of your senses. (nods)  Hay-men.  It's not what I want.  It's not what I want."  

[Candydandy]

Ok folks! I admit I rewatched the video to pay more atention. Sniffer! Sniffer! He called his nose a sniffer! Histironics  and angry preachin- sure fire way to avoid the center of the earth aka hell! 

Sis Candy

 

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

7 hours ago, acheronbeach said:

"TOR-MENS!  TOR-MENS!  That's more than one, honey!!!  Pb..wha... you say what I am blind and I can't see an' my eyes are bad an' my ears are uh... mm... bad, and my tastebuds a'gone snub my sniffers gone 'gainst mah nose... haha... hay-men! .... I CAN'T!  I CAN'T!  In Hell you'll have all five of your senses. (nods)  Hay-men.  It's not what I want.  It's not what I want."  

Hahaha
And I thought Sally's transcriptions of the Naugs were funny.  This is SO much better.  

[MayMay1123]

@mango_fandango...your gary avatar has a waffle right on his tongue and i can't stop laughing at it

[Granwych]

13 hours ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

Gary, you kiss your wife with that fly trap of yours?

 

 

Good Lord, he'd gag a maggot.

[Georgiana]

9 hours ago, acheronbeach said:

I l

In context it makes ABSOLUTELY no more sense.  The violent waving of his hands doesn't help with comprehension, either...

"TOR-MENS!  TOR-MENS!  That's more than one, honey!!!  Pb..wha... you say what I am blind and I can't see an' my eyes are bad an' my ears are uh... mm... bad, and my tastebuds a'gone snub my sniffers gone 'gainst mah nose... haha... hay-men! .... I CAN'T!  I CAN'T!  In Hell you'll have all five of your senses. (nods)  Hay-men.  It's not what I want.  It's not what I want."  

His tastebuds going snub and his sniffer's going against his nose DO explain his fondness for weens and gravy though.  All this time we've been wondering how ANYONE eats that.  Well, now we know!

[seattlechic]

14 hours ago, Nikedagain? said:

I get such an abuser vibe off of this loser. Makes my hair stand up. 

I get more of a "jerks off in the shower" vibe. Gross.