Seewalds 33: Schroedinger’s Uterus

[Iamtheway]

On 6/6/2018 at 2:44 PM, BrandoBarks said:

Both my husband and I were unplanned.

My Italian mother in law got married at 18 but wanted to enjoy life with her new husband alone. Doctors discovered her pregnancy by chance while they were performing an operation in her abdomen. They did not give her much hope that the baby would survive but luckily he did :-) 

My mom on the other hand grew up in a very strict, repressing household so the minute she was 18 and on her first vacation alone she „went wild“ and got pregnant. Her best friend had an abortion while she „had to take the consequences“. My brother 5 years later was born in marriage and to this day she treats us differently.

So I think it was destiny my husband and I met: two unplanned people from two different countries :-)

Now you need to have an unplanned child to close the circle.

Both mine and my husbands parents were satisfied with two children but had an oups child as number 3. My mum has told me that only their middle child was actually planned. I’m the oldest. They had been together for ten years when I was born though so I feel confident I was welcomed. 

[Nowyn]

Our incidence of abortions here in Finland in 2014 was 8.5/1000 fertile-aged women. I am somehow surprised as it is a lot less than in the US as while our law is a lot more restricted, in practice it is so much harder and expensive to have one in the US. But then again sex ed, accessible and cheap birth control and social benefits work well here. 

But no, even with the small price tag, abortion isn't used as a birth control. Why would it be? It is painful, there are risks and so on. I find most absurd about US pro-choice/pro-life discussion be that while pro-lifers don't want abortions they pretty much do nothing to make them less needed and instead focus on rhetoric that has very little to do with reality. 

Abortion, even here where it is cheap and easier, isn't used as birth control. I have a friend with multiple abortions, but she is one of the most fertile people I know. I have one accidental pregnancy and I personally would most likely never have an abortion. I miscarried in week 9. I still mourn it as while the timing would have sucked, I want kids. A lot.
My baby brother was also an accident. Happy one. Mom had IUI but no avail.

Also, there is no way to know if a parent is un-abhorrent. My mom is a good example of this. No one would have guessed how bad of a mother she is. Mostly to me. My siblings are better off. And no, I am not grateful for my life either. I went through 30 years of hell. I survived and I am happy that I did, but why would I be grateful? I will forever have PTSD and BPD. I am OK now though but it will never be easy.

A child is not a property of their parents. Their parents do not have a right to their health information unless the child is unable to make decisions themselves. The judge of this should not be the parent, but a professional. Once kids are deemed mature enough to make decisions here, that is what happens.

[Carm_88]

Hahaha autocorrect gets me all the time, so I feel for her here. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

Poor little Henry with the mean older sibling. LOL though I'll admit to being Spurgon in life to my younger siblings a time or two opps. 

 

[SapphireSlytherin]

Spurg resembles Jinger in this photo, to me.

[neurogirl]

My first thought was that Spurg looks like Ben, but he really is a blend of both of them, and super cute. Poor Henry though!

[AliceInFundyland]

Jessa writes fairly well.

And then I think, “oh I hope Spurge wasn’t disciplined like you were.”

Round and round and round we go.

[SapphireSlytherin]

Also:  normalmomspeak for this incident:

 

This little guy.  He's a cutie alright, but don't let that fool ya! How can 2-year-olds be so cute and innocent, and yet such little stinkers at the same time?

See this little brat? Yeah, he's cute, but he can be a little shithead.

Example:
Earlier today, I heard whimpering.  (I assumed was trying to steal the favorite fire truck toy from  again, or was at least upset that it wasn't his turn to use it. They'd had this same dispute earlier in the day). "What's wrong?" I asked.  was already lovingly helping little brother toward Mommy, and replied, "Henry hit head." : "Aw, poor baby." I didn't want to assume anything since I hadn't been a witness. 's kinda in that clumsy toddler stage, so he is always taking little tumbles or bumping into things. I picked him up, and he was perfectly content again! 
A while later, as I was nursing before nap time, I brushed his sweaty hair back from his forehead, and that's when I got a glimpse of this: little red marks in a perfect circle, with a line down the middle. Immediately, I thought "Tail light."

Today #2 was whimpering and I figured he wanted the fire truck that #1 had. I made a lot of noise as I walked around the corner and found #1 hugging #2, saying #2 had bumped his head. I was skeptical but thought maybe #1 was really being nice. 

But when I sat down to nurse #2, I saw the tell-tale sign of a fucking DENT in his forehead from the tail light of the truck they'd been fighting over. 

Being the self-proclaimed toddler psychologist that I am, I explored the mind of my 2-year-old: I bet ya $50 that was trying to steal the fire truck from , and took matters into his own hands and bonked on the head to get him to relent. But when saw visibly upset, felt bad about his choice to hit , and hence switched to consoling and comforting mode. And at this moment, I appeared on the scene. Seems to make perfect sense, right?

Because I'm a good mom, I realized #1 was trying to get one over on #2, and knew if he acted like the "good guy" that he'd get away with bashing #2 in the head.

I confiscated the evidence (aka: toy fire truck), and... it was a perfect match. #momdetective #boymom Come on now, yall-- who out there can relate?

Yeah. No shit.
.

P.S. I've always heard it said, "What goes around, comes around." I'm am 100% sure that is my offspring, because that was totally me in my toddler days.  @jingervuolo, thank you for always loving me and being my BFF, even when I was THAT KID! This gives me confidence that my boys will continue to be best friends forever.

Sorry, Jinger. You know I was a shithead too. Glad you like me now.

 

[SassyPants]

Yikes- that is one ugly mark on Henry's head.

[Carm_88]

I don't have a sibling close enough in age to fight like this, but I was a jealous child. When my cousin, who is 8 months younger than me, was learning to walk, I used to push her around and call her a baby. We're best friends now! But that doesn't mean we didn't fight like cats and dogs in our younger years. Poor Henry, Spurgeon better watch out, Henry is a solid little fella and he might flip big brother over soon. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

She really is good at the mom thing, siblings fight, she knows it, and doesn't say shit like Derelict about them being manipulative, when they are just being kids.  Damn those boys are cute, I get it, as cute as they are they are just that ornery. I'm glad she's allowing them to be kids and explore and play.  I hope Joy and Kendra are more like her with their kids than like Jill.   

[Ivycoveredtower]

19 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

She really is good at the mom thing, siblings fight, she knows it, and doesn't say shit like Derelict about them being manipulative, when they are just being kids.  Damn those boys are cute, I get it, as cute as they are they are just that ornery. I'm glad she's allowing them to be kids and explore and play.  I hope Joy and Kendra are more like her with their kids than like Jill.   

Plus she doesn't seem in a hurry to pop out number three. she very well be just not getting pregnant but even if that's the case and she isn't actively preventing she seems very at Peace with that unlike clown uterus Michelle who was always so baby hungry. I just keep thinking of the look she gave been in the up coming season promo when he said they could have three kids by their fourth wedding anniversary it was like she wanted to say fuck that shit. 

[Seculardaisy]

Man we give Jessa way too much credit for being social media savvy. That caption is way too long and boring for Instagram. A classic TLDR. Also the fifty emojis made it too hard for my eyes to follow.

But I mean, kudos to her for taking a picture of the fire truck in portrait mode I guess?

Yes, yes I know... BEC.

[singsingsing]

27 minutes ago, Seculardaisy said:

Man we give Jessa way too much credit for being social media savvy. That caption is way too long and boring for Instagram. A classic TLDR. Also the fifty emojis made it too hard for my eyes to follow.

But I mean, kudos to her for taking a picture of the fire truck in portrait mode I guess?

Yes, yes I know... BEC.

Honestly, I think her 'social media savvy' comes down to having cute kids and a good intuition for what other people are actually going to think is cute/funny, and also having a decent sense of humour. Plus being compared with the Dillards, who are just downright awkward.

[Ivycoveredtower]

2 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Honestly, I think her 'social media savvy' comes down to having cute kids and a good intuition for what other people are actually going to think is cute/funny, and also having a decent sense of humour. Plus being compared with the Dillards, who are just downright awkward.

And she's really good about not over-saturating people with post I'll admit when she goes on her social media Hiatus's I get curious what she's up to. 

[Marly]

3 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

Plus she doesn't seem in a hurry to pop out number three. she very well be just not getting pregnant but even if that's the case and she isn't actively preventing she seems very at Peace 

What I noticed most about her post is that she is still nursing Henry. She could very well be trying to nurse him for as long as possible as a kind of contraceptive method (as in, trying to delay getting pregnant again). I remember that she said that Spurgeon weaned himself off when he was about six months old, and it wasn't long thereafter that she got pregnant with Henry*. If they don't want to use any form of contraception, but would like to have some more spacing between their pregnancies/kids, or maybe even time to look into adoption more/adopt (as they mentioned you can't adopt if you're pregnant, and your youngest child needs to be at least one year old), it could be that they're trying to nurse as long as possible to delay a next pregnancy.


(*please correct me if my math is totally off here)

[breakfree]

Maybe it's my unicorn talking but I think they are preventing or at least trying to prevent, possibly in the hopes of being able to have a big enough gap that they're able to adopt. I don't think they are using hormonal birth control or anything radical like that but given the timing of her first two pregnancies and the substantially longer gap here, I'd be really surprised if they're not doing something. 

[Rachel333]

That caption was way too long with way too many emojis. With most people I'd say people just don't care that much about your kid*, but I guess if you're famous that's not true!

*

Spoiler

 

[VelociRapture]

I’m glad other people were rolling their eyes a bit at that post. The emojis were overdone and the post itself was too long for the actual story. I like the edits by @SapphireSlytherinbetter to be honest. Or, if you aren’t into swearing:

”Spurgeon hit Henry with his fire truck and then played nice to make it look like he was innocent. He’s lucky he’s so cute... but seriously, we’re in so much trouble if he keeps this up! 

P.S. Sorry I was such a brat as a kid, especially to you Jinger! Thanks for still liking me! #boymom #sendhelp #blankettrainingstartstoday #stilllovemyboys #jesuslovesthemall”

Enter applicable emojis where needed and done. 

[nst]

11 hours ago, Seculardaisy said:

Man we give Jessa way too much credit for being social media savvy. That caption is way too long and boring for Instagram. A classic TLDR. Also the fifty emojis made it too hard for my eyes to follow.

But I mean, kudos to her for taking a picture of the fire truck in portrait mode I guess?

Yes, yes I know... BEC.

i thought the same thing so i am super bec...Tell me more about the Gaines Jessa - go on a road trip 

10 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Honestly, I think her 'social media savvy' comes down to having cute kids and a good intuition for what other people are actually going to think is cute/funny, and also having a decent sense of humour. Plus being compared with the Dillards, who are just downright awkward.

her social media savvy is the only thing that makes her somewhat normal to others...not to us...kids i get it. i don't have them but i get it. 

The Gaines recently have gotten flack about they can run all their businesses yet be so "family togetherness" when apparently they are never home....

the point being now we are seeing more family stuff on instagram for the Gaines...

she knows the brand as well as Jessa does.  It's all branding with these people. 

 

4 hours ago, breakfree said:

Maybe it's my unicorn talking but I think they are preventing or at least trying to prevent, possibly in the hopes of being able to have a big enough gap that they're able to adopt. I don't think they are using hormonal birth control or anything radical like that but given the timing of her first two pregnancies and the substantially longer gap here, I'd be really surprised if they're not doing something. 

Ah yes, she wants to adopt...perhaps she will do it this time. 

they will adopt and then bam she will get pregnant 

then they have to move 

8 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

I’m glad other people were rolling their eyes a bit at that post. The emojis were overdone and the post itself was too long for the actual story. I like the edits by @SapphireSlytherinbetter to be honest. Or, if you aren’t into swearing:

 

i could barely read it because of the emoji's 

[SassyPants]

To be honest, I was left wondering how she responded to Spurgeon- 

He hit with an object and then lied about it, yet was savvy enough to bring Henry to Jessa with a good story.

 

[Fjrocks]

   Yeah, she actually saw nothing.

   Is that a pausible explaination? Sure. Maybe even likely.

   Is it possible Henry tripped holding the toy and not even Spurgeon saw it?

    Yep. Completely. 

   Is it possible since they were at the big house it was another cousin/aunt/uncle?

    Yep. 

   Is it possible he got hit/fell while trying to wrestle it from his brother who’s turn it rightfully was?    

   Derick’s kid manipulates him by saying “I love you.” Jessa assumes her toddler is running around unprovoked bopping babies on the head and staging cover ups.

   Good grief. They can’t see the evil in Josh but they are convinced their two year olds are outright con artists.

  Keep a closer eye next time and move on.       

[SassyPants]

12 minutes ago, Fjrocks said:

   Yeah, she actually saw nothing.

   Is that a pausible explaination? Sure. Maybe even likely.

   Is it possible Henry tripped holding the toy and not even Spurgeon saw it?

    Yep. Completely. 

   Is it possible since they were at the big house it was another cousin/aunt/uncle?

    Yep. 

   Is it possible he got hit/fell while trying to wrestle it from his brother who’s turn it rightfully was?    

   Derick’s kid manipulates him by saying “I love you.” Jessa assumes her toddler is running around unprovoked bopping babies on the head and staging cover ups.

   Good grief. They can’t see the evil in Josh but they are convinced their two year olds are outright con artists.

  Keep a closer eye next time and move on.       

Yes, you're right, since Jessa didn't witness the incident, we should not assume that SES hit HWS with the toy, but as a parent who knows the parties in question, Jessa probably had a very good idea of what went down. I do wonder if she explored the situation further by talking with 2.5 YO SES? Seems like a teachable moment. 

I wonder if the young moms always hang out at the TTH because it's easier? Plus then your own house isn't get constantly trashed.

[SorenaJ]

I don't like Jessa's hashtag #boymom. Ah yes, 'cause girls would never hit anyone with anything, everybody knows that. 

[Carm_88]

59 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Yes, you're right, since Jessa didn't witness the incident, we should not assume that SES hit HWS with the toy, but as a parent who knows the parties in question, Jessa probably had a very good idea of what went down. I do wonder if she explored the situation further by talking with 2.5 YO SES? Seems like a teachable moment. 

I was going to say something similar, we don't know that it was Spurgeon. However, the evidence kinda points that way. That's not saying that Spurgeon is an evil little brat, just a frustrated 2.5 year old who is sick of sharing. We don't know if Henry grabbed it and they fought, which led to the bopping on the head. That's kids though, they will fight and push for things, which is why parents have to teach them to be nice and to share. 

Which reminds me, my kindergarten teacher had to take away certain trucks because the boys in my class would fight over it so much and someone would end up crying. Why? Because they would pinch and bite in order to get what they wanted. While us girls were sitting on a mat doing puzzles together. 

Kids aren't bad, but they're like little drunk people. Everything belongs to them!