Lori Alexander 44: Ken Galloping Off on the Horse of Truth The Feminists Are Coming!

[Frog99]

Is Attila’s comment gone? I couldn’t find it. 

I don’t understand the whole focus on submission. I can’t wrap my brain around it. DH and I both make decisions as needed- I don’t wait for him and I surely don’t harass the heck out of him, and vice versa. We share in household tasks, child needs, etc. I generally do my laundry, he generally does his. The kids do some of theirs and he and I do the rest. I don’t tell him what to do, he doesn’t tell me what to do. We check in to avoid scheduling conflicts and such but to ask permission for a girls night or something is weird. Just like I would be weirded out if he asked permission to do something. It would get old quick (for both of us)  if I asked him what days I should shop-  he would respond that he married a capable adult and I need to figure it out (I can’t send DH to the grocery store- he can’t stick to the list- which is fine except he spends an extra $50 plus when he does that).

We don’t have chaos and disorder in our home. No one is fighting for control. We do things to help the other and we do nice things for each other- because we love each other. He is as proud of my career achievements as I am of his. We spent time getting to know one another before engagement, before marriage, before having babies- a poster on one of the 2.0 threads suggested that the rush to marry and have babies might be a stressor that leads to the conflict, and I think that’s a good point. We also weren’t rushing marriage for sex. DH and I celebrate 19 years of marriage in September. 

I grew up in a Christian household- my father on the conservative side, my mother more in the middle. He instilled in my sisters and I that we would get at minimum a 4 year degree and that we should know how to care for ourselves, without relying on anyone. My father is a kind and generous man who is the epitome of a servant leader. My mother always said that we should love the person we marry, that we should be sure that he would be a good partner, and then that we should never marry because we felt like we should, or that it was the next step. She told us to never just settle- for anything. 

[EowynW]

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Her mother is in hospice care and she posted a picture of a damn salad??!!

I just cannot even with this woman.

[Coconut Flan]

My instagram just opened to that "salad" and I started gagging. 

[KatBonD]

Someone asked on the previous thread for Tim Fall's response to Attila. Here it is.

I told Tim he probably will have as much luck convicting Lori of her teaching as the pastor who said he was pulling her book from his church and was going to talk to her pastor. Tim said he's not blocked yet, so he still has a chance! (Uh huh!)

[EowynW]

38 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Her mother is in hospice care and she posted a picture of a damn salad??!!

I just cannot even with this woman.

My fundie mother cried and cried when my grandpa went into home hospice. My entire family took shifts to care for him. I was there when he died while my mom was at the hospital sitting with her sister while HER husband coded (he died 3 weeks later.) No one cared about salads. We all are like crap during that season without even thinking about it. 

In fact next  weekend is the 3rd anniversary of his death. I can still remember every day of that final week. I look at the calendar and can remember every detail of that awful final week. 

[lilwriter85]

That IG post was just weird as fuck especially with the whole "I can't believe she's on her deathbed when she enjoys eating so much". Ugh, I just can't.

Now, I do know a couple of people who do/did post on FB and IG about loved ones when they were in their last few days/months. But, there were/was no deathbed mentions, it was more about spending time with their loved ones doing things they enjoyed in a tasteful manner. My cousins posted pics of my aunt playing cards with them and watching football in the last few months. It was good to see my aunt having joy with her kids even though we knew she would be gone soon. Right now, my friend's wife is dying of cancer and he and his step-daughters post pics of them doing family things a couple of times a week.

[feministxtian]

A friend of mine died yesterday. The only mention of anything almost morbid was when her daughter posted on FB that "it looks like mom's time on earth is coming to an end" on Wednesday. Prior to that, there were pictures of my friend out in her flower garden, in her glass workshop, at the beach. 

I'm very sad about this, it's the third in our circle that has left us...CANCER SUCKS!!!!!

[Frog99]

I’m sorry, @feministxtian  Cancer does suck. 

Lori has no empathy whatsoever- she completely lacks theory of mind and is incredibly self-absorbed. 

[Briefly]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

My fundie mother cried and cried when my grandpa went into home hospice. My entire family took shifts to care for him. I was there when he died while my mom was at the hospital sitting with her sister while HER husband coded (he died 3 weeks later.) No one cared about salads. We all are like crap during that season without even thinking about it. 

In fact next  weekend is the 3rd anniversary of his death. I can still remember every day of that final week. I look at the calendar and can remember every detail of that awful final week. 

When we lost my dad, I 100% guarantee that the last thing any of us thought about was food.  In fact, if my mother-in-law hadn't brought a ham over to my dad's house for us, we probably wouldn't have eaten at all.

I am sorry for the loss of your grandfather.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Lori says her mother's health is failing very quickly.  Why is she not with her every possible minute?  Why isn't her social media empire on hiatus while she's with her mother? 

{Waves hand frantically.  I know, I know. Call on meeeeee.} 

Because Lori is an older godly woman mentor and it's tres tres tres important that she be on the internet all day and doing 5-6 hours of research daily so she can call out all those "Christians" and-leggings wearing jezebel career women who hate Lori's God's ways. Plus she needs to make her Eikorn bread to slather with butter, her "big salad" and her yummy vegetable soup -- for herself.

When my beloved Daddy passed completely unexpectedly I wasn't there.  However, I was on the phone with him the night before chatting.  The last words we said to each other were "Love you Daddy."  "Love you too sweetie."

[Hane]

My mom, who was suffering from congestive heart failure, had hospice care at home. My middle sister and her husband, both social workers, and their twelve-year-old son were living with my parents at the time, thank God (their old house had sold quickly and their new one wasn’t ready yet), and were able to work with the hospice workers who visited Mom every day. My other sister and I lived close by and were there often, too.

One day, our beloved aunt, widow of Mom’s brother, drove in from out of state and surprised us with a visit. She told us she hadn’t called first, because “You’d all have been running around like crazy, cooking and cleaning and I didn’t want that.” She also noticed what we hadn’t noticed ourselves: that we were physically and emotionally exhausted and staggering around like the walking dead. She stepped right in and took charge: with Mom’s nurse, she insisted on renting Mom the hospital bed she’d adamantly refused (but had needed for months). She had a wealth of good advice from a friend of hers who was a hospice nurse. She was able to enforce cooperation from Mom in a way we daughters couldn’t. And she made up her mind to stay there till the very end, not leaving till after Mom’s funeral two weeks later. 

I suppose we all ate something, and did laundry, and kept the house running. I can’t remember anything but the morning I tried to test Mom’s blood sugar and thought I got an error reading—it actually said “43,” when normal is around 100—and called the nurse, who gently said, “I don’t think we’ll be giving her any insulin today.” I was too stupid to realize my mom was in the act of dying. At work, my colleagues told me not to wait till after work—to go get my daughter from college NOW. I did, and my daughter was able to have one last conversation with the grandma who had cared for her throughout her childhood while I worked. 

Sorry for rambling on, but Lori’s fucking comment about her dying mother’s appetite and picture of that goddamned salad have me livid.

[louisa05]

3 hours ago, EowynW said:

My fundie mother cried and cried when my grandpa went into home hospice. My entire family took shifts to care for him. I was there when he died while my mom was at the hospital sitting with her sister while HER husband coded (he died 3 weeks later.) No one cared about salads. We all are like crap during that season without even thinking about it. 

In fact next  weekend is the 3rd anniversary of his death. I can still remember every day of that final week. I look at the calendar and can remember every detail of that awful final week. 

I vividly remember everything about my father's final week of life, especially the 3.5 days at inpatient hospice. And were it not for the prodding of the hospice staff, including actually feeding us--because they provide meals to the families at the place he was at--I'm not sure we would have eaten much at all. 

Lori is a piece of shit. 

[EowynW]

14 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

I vividly remember everything about my father's final week of life, especially the 3.5 days at inpatient hospice. And were it not for the prodding of the hospice staff, including actually feeding us--because they provide meals to the families at the place he was at--I'm not sure we would have eaten much at all. 

Lori is a piece of shit. 

Some days I would like to maybe not remember quite so much. There are still so many aspects of that week that are just really hard to wrap my mind around. Watching someone die is never pretty. No matter how "peaceful" it is. Our hospice nurse was a treasure and helped us so much. 

[usmcmom]

Translation of Lori's IG salad picture: "My mother is terminally ill but she knows that *I* make the best salads. She is asking for MY food. My salads are Godly. My mother is dying but don't forget about me." 

My mother-in-law was in hospice care for eleven days. The first three days, she also seemed rather healthy. Her body was still hanging on to the last of the treatments she had chosen to discontinue. By day four, her decline was rapid. The doctors gave her seven days; she lived for eleven. She died on the same day on which her first husband had been buried 47 years earlier. This was just in September of last year and those days are still a blur. The clearest memory I have is calling my childrens' spouses at 5:30 in the morning so that they could let our kids know their grandma had passed away. Each of our kids had told us this was how they wanted to be informed. 

It is likely that my father-in-law will enter hospice soon. We cannot get our minds around the fact that we are losing another parent. More than anything in this world, I wish I would not have to make another phone call to each of my kids like that one in September. Nobody has grieved my mother-in-law's death properly because we went straight into another battle with this wicked cancer.  

Lori's post just feels so...I don't know...mocking, cruel, ugly.  She thinks it's all a beautiful journey because she is a "christian."  My in-laws were/are faithful conservative Christians.  In fact, my father-in-law is always telling his doctors "I'm scheduled to preach Sunday; I gotta go home," and it was true. He was always preaching or teaching a Bible class.  

Christians get to be sad.  Christians get to grieve and be overhelmed.  Christians get to miss their loved ones regardless of their certainty of salvation.  I think Lori is incapable of feeling loss because she is incapable of feeling love.  

 

 

[Coconut Flan]

Patients can go into hospice an estimated six months prior to death so it isn't surprising that some of them are still eating and enjoying it.  A woman down the hall from mom entered hospice a month or two ago and outwardly there is really no difference in her yet. 

I haven't kept up with Lori's mom to know details beyond she's in hospice care.

[louisa05]

27 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Patients can go into hospice an estimated six months prior to death so it isn't surprising that some of them are still eating and enjoying it.  A woman down the hall from mom entered hospice a month or two ago and outwardly there is really no difference in her yet. 

I haven't kept up with Lori's mom to know details beyond she's in hospice care.

Yes, this. My dad's home hospice began in late July when he was actually doing quite well as we weren't seeing the decline yet and he had been off of treatment long enough for a lot of the side effects to go away. He died in mid-September, three years ago this fall. 

My mother's cousin's wife died of Alzheimers and held on in the final stage much longer than her medical team anticipated. She was actually on home hospice care for nearly two years. 

[HoneyBunny]

You know, I first became aware of Lazy Lori when she posted about her son forcing her granddaughter to eat. I thought that was the worst. My parents, are tough as they were on us, would throw themselves on a sword for their grandsons. They would NEVER think that discipline was warranted, and would certainly never brag about it. 

Then, when Lazy Lori deleted the suicide prevention hotline number, I thought THAT was the worst, and never imagined it would be topped (bottomed?j. 

But that damn salad post and, most specifically, the fact that she actually published, for the world to see, the words: “I can’t believe she’s on her deathbed when she enjoys eating so much” is just...I can’t. I just can’t. It sounds like she’s chiding her mother for still having an appetite when she should be exercising moderation. The woman is vile. 

And then there’s the fact that she’s happily posting on Facebook and Instagram and her blog while her mother is at the end of her life. For Pete’s sake lady, get a grip!  I stayed with my mom for over four weeks when my dad died, first to sit with her at his bedside (a hard, gut wrenching experience that is part of being an ADULT), and then to be with her afterward until she felt she could cope alone. And my parents lived across the country; they weren’t a happy car ride away, as Lori’s are. I will never forget the morning after Dad died hearing my mom crying in bed, and crawling in next to her and holding her against me as she sobbed.  It was truly the most tender moment of my life. 

If Lazy Lori doesn’t want to be there for her mom, how about being there for her dad who rubbed her feet during the many decades she was sick? This woman is irredeemable. 

[feministxtian]

I am so glad my last memory of my dad alive was him smiling at me in that goofy, shit-eating grin he always had around me. My dad died of COPD 20 years ago this May 1. He'd spent a couple of days in the hospital and was sent home because there was really nothing that could be done for him. I went over there that afternoon and just sorta hung out with him. He had a recliner he liked to sit in and I sat on one arm of the chair and put my feet on the other (he was way too frail for me to climb in his lap), I put my arms around his neck, laid my head on his shoulder and said "I love you daddy"...cue shit-eating grin. He reached up, hugged me and said "I love you too Bandita" (who the hell knows where he came up with that nickname when I was wee little). I left to go home (I lived across the street), and the following morning my mother called me to say he was gone. 

We won't discuss my mother's absolutely horrid behavior towards me at his funeral. I've never wanted to slap the shit out of someone as badly as I did then. 

[Koala]

Pay close attention, fangirls.  Lori is telling you exactly who she is.  While she is fiddling around on the internet, her mother (or as she refers to her, her "sick, old mother") is on what Lori describes as her "deathbed".   Think about that in light of how much time Lori and Ken have wasted on this whole Matt Walsh crap.  It's absurd.  They seem completely oblivious to what Lori's mom is going through.  If your mom/mil is dying, wtf do you care what a bunch of internet strangers are saying?  But nope, not Ken and Lori.  Why spend time with your mother, when you could go argue with people instead.

According to both Ken and Lori, Lori is spending literally all day on the internet.  Mark my words, this will not slow her down.  Not one bit. 

Also, the salad pic?  Does not surprise me at all.  # 1?  No one gives a shit about the food.  The fact that she thinks her effing salad is the important take away in this situation really shows how completely bats she actually is.  And the snip about her enjoying eating so much?  Just no.  

I hope to god that her family watches her interactions with Lori very closely.  I could see Lori trying to deny her the food she wants or starting her everlasting blathering about being "moderate" and "keeping our bodies under".  
 

[onemama]

9 hours ago, Frog99 said:

I don’t understand the whole focus on submission. I can’t wrap my brain around it. DH and I both make decisions as needed- I don’t wait for him and I surely don’t harass the heck out of him, and vice versa. 

I don’t tell him what to do, he doesn’t tell me what to do. 

to ask permission for a girls night or something is weird. Just like I would be weirded out if he asked permission to do something. 

We don’t have chaos and disorder in our home. No one is fighting for control. We do things to help the other and we do nice things for each other- because we love each other.

 

From the conversation with Ken on 2.0 (and via pm), I've come to the conclusion that a wife taking a subordinate position in marriage and doing everything her husband wants is at the heart of their doctrine.  Women have "needs" while men have needs that they can expect to have met by their wives.  They take the "woman was made for man" verse very seriously, without looking into what that might mean.  She was made for me, she must submit to me, otherwise she's not in the will of God.

Like you, I have a hard time wrapping my brain around what submission means.  I only tell my husband that he has to do x, y or z if it's something that he has to do and seems to be forgetting to do.  I guess I'd be labeled unsubmissive and controlling for trying to keep us out of disaster zone. 

Asking permission is for children, not adults.  We will ask each other if it's ok to do something or another out of consideration, not obedience or something like that. 

Chaos reigns in our home, but not because of control issues. We're chaotic!  Like you, we are together because we love each other. It's a journey that has its ups and downs, but I'd rather live like this than play the "submission game". 

[onemama]

5 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Lori's post just feels so...I don't know...mocking, cruel, ugly.  She thinks it's all a beautiful journey because she is a "christian."  My in-laws were/are faithful conservative Christians.  In fact, my father-in-law is always telling his doctors "I'm scheduled to preach Sunday; I gotta go home," and it was true. He was always preaching or teaching a Bible class.  

Christians get to be sad.  Christians get to grieve and be overhelmed.  Christians get to miss their loved ones regardless of their certainty of salvation.  

This. I wonder how many of her fans are feeling inadequate after reading that.  I don't want to judge Lori because I don't know her personally, but I do want anyone reading this who feels inadequate to know that you aren't faulty and less of a Christian.  

I wasn't there to say goodbye to any of my grandparents but I treasure my last memories with them. Both of my grandmothers liked food and showed their love with food.  My maternal grandmother passed 9 years ago and my parents cared for her that last year.  Both my mom and dad didn't get to say goodbye to their fathers because they passed before they could hop on a plane and fly out to where they lived.  Both had a much harder time with that loss than with the loss of their mothers for that reason. My mother was there, holding her hand, when her mother passed.  My maternal grandmother loved chocolate ice cream and requested it every day until she died, and why not? She should enjoy her life until the very end!!!   My grandmother wrote wonderful letters that I still treasure. I received her last one, with a birthday card for my 19th birthday, a few days after she died.   I had been looking forward to seeing her in December that year but she died in August.  I'm glad my mother, her baby, got to be there to say goodbye. 

[Hisey]

ZZ Anderson is not a fan of Lori's (from ZZ's public facebook):

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Carolyn Paul Weber   What are your thoughts on Lori Alexander who has a Facebook page and blog under the name " The Transformed Wife"? She is a big advocate of the Pearls.

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Are They All Yours? I'm not interested in anything she has to say, nor do I read her blog. She believes in sinless perfection. She has entire blog posts dedicated to Pearl's Roman series detailing why she agrees with it.

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Although the salad photo seemed weird to me, I have to cut her some slack. People do strange things when their loved ones are dying. Lori sounds like she gets pleasure from making a salad for her mom. I"m sure it provides some comfort for her to do so. Without question, though, Lori has an abnormal, bizarre relationship with food.

[polecat]

Coming up on the anniversary of my mom's death this week, this post hits me. My mom and I had a complicated relationship, to say the least, but losing her was like amputating a part of my heart. Maybe Lori is taking comfort in her idea of the afterlife, or maybe she's putting her weird food rituals to use to comfort herself. idk. I do know that the grief of losing your mom (or any parent or parent-figure) is so overwhelming and mind-bogglingly awful that she's going to have a hard time keeping her head above water in the coming days and weeks.
 

Spoiler

Then again, sometimes I suspect she's an actual narcissist, and maybe she won't feel a damned thing other than the excitement that here is yet another chance to attract attention to herself.

 

 

[Briefly]

15 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Lori says her mother's health is failing very quickly.  Why is she not with her every possible minute?  Why isn't her social media empire on hiatus while she's with her mother? 

{Waves hand frantically.  I know, I know. Call on meeeeee.} 

Because Lori is an older godly woman mentor and it's tres tres tres important that she be on the internet all day and doing 5-6 hours of research daily so she can call out all those "Christians" and-leggings wearing jezebel career women who hate Lori's God's ways. Plus she needs to make her Eikorn bread to slather with butter, her "big salad" and her yummy vegetable soup -- for herself.

When my beloved Daddy passed completely unexpectedly I wasn't there.  However, I was on the phone with him the night before chatting.  The last words we said to each other were "Love you Daddy."  "Love you too sweetie."

You may not have been there for your dad, but he knew you loved him.  I had that blessing with both my parents, and both conversations are very special memories.