Lori Alexander 44: Ken Galloping Off on the Horse of Truth The Feminists Are Coming!

[smittykins]

3 hours ago, TeddyBonkers said:

I bet dollars to donuts that you and the Mr. still have a better marriage then our intrepid blogger and her knight of shiny truthiness.; )

And the Horse(of TRUTH!)he rode in on. 

[dairyfreelife]

11 minutes ago, zeebaneighba said:

I believe @dairyfreelife is referring to a parody post that was so well written that people thought it was actually Ken. The post in question is here.  It was confirmed later in the thread that it was indeed a parody.

Oh, maybe I got confused. Regardless, he definitely asked for a poster's address here to send her M&Ms and spent a lot of time talking about how beautiful a commenter on Lori's old blog was, which is just as creepy. My bad for being confused on what was Ken's actual post. 

[Curious]

2 minutes ago, dairyfreelife said:

Oh, maybe I got confused. Regardless, he definitely asked for a poster's address here to send her M&Ms and spent a lot of time talking about how beautiful a commenter on Lori's old blog was, which is just as creepy. My bad for being confused on what was Ken's actual post. 

That post was a parody, but the reason so many people fell for it was that Ken could have written it.   He did tell Rachelle that if she or her husband were in his area they could go out (on him) to chat about the stuff on the blog or other stuff.

And, of course, asked @formergothardite for her address to send her M&Ms and fawned over a woman called Courtney (I believe) on Lori's blog.

[polecat]

4 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Something I've noticed from many of these fundie "mentors" to women. They portray marriage as nothing more than rules and transactions. Why? There's nothing about fun, joking, being silly, or even woman jumping her man's bones. It reduces women to Stepford wives...little robots. If that's the definition of a "Godly" marriage...I don't want it. I prefer telling my husband he's a doofus for forgetting that we went grocery shopping last night and that I told him I'd paid the bills. Yes, I'll discuss the bills with him and pretty much do what he wants to do, but damn if I'll just roll over and play dead...I don't think my hubs would like that by any stretch of the imagination...he likes my opinionated bitch self. 

Right. These people don't even seem to like each other much less love each other. I'm not a romantic person, and neither is my husband (at all, not even a little bit). But there's no one either of us would rather hang out with on a weekend. We can go on vacations or road trips, do home improvement projects, or, you know, just do whatever, and not have it devolve into a power struggle. Because we're genuinely friends. We like each other. There's nothing serious enough for us to get all ass hole-y over.

If ever two people should NOT have gotten married, it's those two.

 

[feministxtian]

Just now, polecat said:

Right. These people don't even seem to like each other much less love each other. I'm not a romantic person, and neither is my husband (at all, not even a little bit). But there's no one either of us would rather hang out with on a weekend. We can go on vacations or road trips, do home improvement projects, or, you know, just do whatever, and not have it devolve into a power struggle. Because we're genuinely friends. We like each other. There's nothing serious enough for us to get all ass hole-y over.

If ever two people should NOT have gotten married, it's those two.

 

How true. Neither one of us are "romantic" either. However, I really can't think of anyone else I'd rather hang out with...it's more like I can be my weird as shit self with him and he won't care. We're opposite as hell in almost every way but it's worked for this long...he's TV, I'm books. He's pencil drawings and I'm shitty watercolors. But, neither of us are very social, or like dealing with crowds, which means we stay home a lot. We make stupid jokes about things that other people would think are very serious (like diabetes) and laugh like crazy over them. There's really nothing that's a power struggle between us, well, there may be a power struggle between us and the cats and the cats are winning...damn cats! We can go shopping for big ticket items and agree without any conflict, loud voices or hurt feelings. Heck, we can even buy a house without arguing! It's never that one "gets their way" and the other one gets their feelings hurt. I can only think of ONE thing that I'd get "ass-holey" over and that would be him taking care of himself...diabetes is no joke, but with the proper attention, it's a chronic pain in the ass instead of a crisis. I rarely have to get that way but every now and then....

[Briefly]

5 hours ago, onemama said:

10 years ago I nearly bought CTBHHM. I was confused and overly focused on the verses that said "wife, submit". The more I focused on them, looking for material to help me become that perfect submissive wife that would earn her husband's love and a place in heaven, the more bitter I became at God and my husband.  I remember telling my mom once "why did God have to put that stupid word in there for us wives? Does he hate us?"

 

That's the one I bought at a thrift store just so I could shred it. I skimmed it before it met the gnashing metal teeth of death. It's pretty bad!

[quiversR4hunting]

I just read this article on fb. And sadly Lori would have told this woman to suck it up, even if it was her own daughter. 

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/had-picture-perfect-unhappy-life-080403432--abc-news-parenting.html?soc_src=community&soc_trk=fb

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

The thing about physical sex is that just about anyone can "do it." People in love, people who just met in a bar, people who want to pay for it, single people, married people, people married to other people, etc. 10 minutes and some lube.  So sex, just in and of itself, isn't the be all and end all of marriage.

Intimacy -- which may or may not include actual physical sex -- is what happens when two people have shared it all together (good, bad, terrific, horrible), and came out even stronger. 

I haven't read every word in the Bible but I'm 100% sure there is no commandment, admonishment, teaching or rule that says a godly marriage has sex  "X" number of times a week.   But there are all sorts of teachings about love that never mention the physical.

I'm pretty sure God is concerned about what's in our hearst, not how many times per week we are exercising our genitals.

TL;DR @EowynW  Ignore these people and their sexual prescriptions for a godly marriage. God didn't give us one, and they (and Lori) don't speak for God.

[feministxtian]

1 minute ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I haven't read every word in the Bible but I'm 100% sure there is no commandment, admonishment, teaching or rule that says a godly marriage has sex  "X" number of times a week.   But there are all sorts of teachings about love that never mention the physical.

There's something about not denying each other...1 Corinthians 7:5 "Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

But, it doesn't say how often you have to "come together" or how long you have to spend on coming together. I get the whole idea of not using sex as a weapon against the other person, in either demanding it or denying it, but there's still no "holy interval" for having sex. Supposedly the "average" couple has sex 2-3 times a week...but, that being the average means the bell curve is probably pretty wide. I'm one of those who could happily live the rest of my life without ever having sex again...but my husband isn't. So...we work it out. Its not even a point of contention for us. 

So...at @EowynW don't listen to anyone but yourself. Whatever makes you and hubby happy is just fine. 

[AuntKrazy]

2 hours ago, Anna Arkadyevna said:

I'm Alice Koerner in that huge Ken thread.  (A little tribute to my grandmother).  Yeah, it's a dummy account, because I've been blocked by Lori so many times.  So many.  Seriously, so very, very many. Too many to count.  Plus I like to have a persona that no one in my real life is connected to so I can comment more freely on religious stuff, since we are still involved in a complementarian church, and will be until the youngest kid graduates.

Talking to Ken yesterday nearly drove me crazy.  I mean, like Hulk rage.  I don't know if it's worse talking to a pseudo-intellectual patriarchist, or a stupid one, but those two are like stupid squared.  I don't  think he really pays much attention to her internet diarrhea, but he sure is ready to call us who do a bunch of dirty liars.  Gah...I hate both of them.  So much.

I agree. I was reading it, and nearly lost it when he tried to say that women being in the Image of God wasn't important (again).  He completely disengaged the theological discussion when he saw he was in over his head.

[Curious]

36 minutes ago, polecat said:

If ever two people should NOT have gotten married, it's those two

I used to think this was true.  I had a little soft spot for Ken since his visit here.  I thought maybe without Lori he would have been a different person and felt a little sorry for him.

He has managed to erase every bit of sympathy/empathy I had for him.  Those two deserve each other and they are saving 2 other people from marrying horrific, vile spouses.

He has not learned a damn thing since he was here.  If it's possible he's gotten more smug, arrogant, condescending and obtuse in the last 4 years.  Something I honestly didn't even think was possible.

He has also lit a fire in me that really wants to make sure people can easily find information about the Alexanders if they should go looking after having the unfortunate experience to come across her blog.   We all know what that means, yes?

 

Spoiler

Goggle(tm) tactics here I come!

 

[fluffy]

7 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

Lori's taking a big dump on her daughter in the super secret chatroom again. She asked a poll, "In your opinion, do you believe leggings are immodest if they aren't covered at all?" and is going on about how immodest they are. I think she brings up this topic at least once a week.

And last weekend she posted about how tragic it was that so many people had dogs in strollers on the beach instead of babies. From this observation she extrapolated that no one with a dog likely had a baby and much hemming and hawing ensued. She's the biggest busybody I ever did see. I wish Ken would leave her ass and she'd have to get a job and keep herself occupied with hard work, and no, I don't mean baking that damned bread of hers. A real job by golly. 

[feministxtian]

23 minutes ago, fluffy said:

I wish Ken would leave her ass and she'd have to get a job and keep herself occupied with hard work, and no, I don't mean baking that damned bread of hers. A real job by golly. 

Let's see...what kind of job could Lori get? Cashier? Fast food? She wouldn't be able to get anything that would keep her in the manner to which she's become accustomed. However, CA is a community property state so she'd get 1/2 of everything and probably alimony too. I think in this case it's cheaper for Ken to stay married to the shrew. They deserve each other. 

[Sarah92]

I can just see her being a rep for like 12 MLM schemes if she got divorced. Then she'd use  her following to boost sales because these products are more "godly" than all other products.

Or maybe she'll start her own modest clothing line called "Not a Harlot of Babylon", NHB for short. Her summer collection will be a really sizzling master piece called "Burning Up Feminist Jezebels", featuring long sleeved, high necked shirts and long skirts and pants. The patterns/fabric will be in a very tasteful, heavy plaid and will be sure to mark the most "godly" of women. After all, only the most "godly" women can with stand the intense heat in their NHB modest clothes; feminists with their harlotie ways would just burn up. 

I apologize for that bit of crazy, it's been a rough week and I'm a bit loopy. Gosh I'm needing some wine.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

I have wondered at various times over the years what some of these fundies would be like if they were not fundy.   Maybe some of these asshats need all the rules and crap to keep from totally going off the deep end. I wonder what a Doctor would say about it. Has anyone come across any books regarding this?

[Lgirlrocks]

15 hours ago, onemama said:

Lori and Ken's teachings sound a lot like the stuff in Debi's CTBHHM, and that was the book that got her started.  Here's another awesome review of the book, written by a couple who sound very conservative and seem to love God and His word above everything else.  You can't accuse them of being God-haters or feminists, yet they disagree very strongly with the doctrines that Debi and Lori espouse.  

http://createdtobehelpmeet.blogspot.de/

Here are a couple of quotes from the conclusion:

And this final paragraph is so beautiful..... I really wish the likes of Dave, Trey, Jeff, Attila, Josh... would grasp the beauty of this.  

I hope it's ok for me to post these findings.  We've been accused of being "detractors", "gossips" and "haters of God and His Ways".  I hope that people who feel uncomfortable with Lori's teachings will find these posts and that they will lead them to dig deeper and find the truth.  

10 years ago I nearly bought CTBHHM. I was confused and overly focused on the verses that said "wife, submit". The more I focused on them, looking for material to help me become that perfect submissive wife that would earn her husband's love and a place in heaven, the more bitter I became at God and my husband.  I remember telling my mom once "why did God have to put that stupid word in there for us wives? Does he hate us?"

I let it all go, left the church (with terrible feelings of guilt) and put my Bible away.  It took years for me to want to read the Bible again, and every time I thought about it, I felt awful guilt.  I had an awful time at weddings, especially at my younger brother's wedding, when the pastor preached a message on unity (not on submission!). I walked out of the sanctuary to go cry in the lavatory. 

7 years later, my husband bought me a plane ticket to go visit my younger brother and his family for his birthday. We were in the middle of another crisis and we were facing a very challenging situation with his family.  I was afraid of what lay ahead of us and recognized that I needed God, but I didn't know how to trust Him.  I nearly skipped the trip because it didn't seem to make sense for me to go off like that for a week, but I went, and God did something pretty awesome. 

Sunday arrived and non-churchgoing me decided to go visit the church where I knew a few people. It seemed wrong not to go to some service, after all.  After the message (by the pastor who married my brother and his wife several years earlier), members of the prophecy team were  invited to the front to share any words of encouragement or wisdom that they perceived. I'm generally very skeptical of such things, but what happened got my attention.  They simply stood there while we all prayed and then they started sharing their messages. They were all very encouraging and sounded like possible answers to prayers, but then one person who didn't even know my name said she had a word for me.  She said something along the lines of "God wants you to know that He loves you and He is for you" and then she said many things that spoke into my situation. Nobody a that gathering had any way to know what was going on in my life!

I cried, and some of the prayer team prayed with me. I flew back home two days later with a sense of hope and renewed trust.  I've forgotten a lot of what was said that day, but that hope got the ball moving and I have been deepening my trust in God for the last three years. This year, as I have shared on here, I took it upon myself to read through the whole Bible.  I don't want to let teachers do the thinking and discerning for me. I believe we can all search Scriptures and find the truth, and that God can use us all to encourage each other. 

I didn't need someone to tell me to go and submit more, I needed to know my value, that God loves me, and that He sees me and is for me.  That security gives me the strength to deal with the difficult situations that arise every now and then.  I'm far from perfect. My marriage is not heavenly. My family is not perfect, but I know God loves me, my husband and my kids. And yes, even the family members that have caused us so much trouble and pain. 

If reading Lori hurts, look at the bigger picture. God has a heck of a lot more to say about human relationships, about who we are and about His plans for us than just "woman, submit".

Sorry for the rant... I really hope this helps somebody! 

My mom told me that men are supposed to be the wife’s spiritual head. This doesn’t mean he Lords over her. It means that when it comes to spiritual stuff his word is final. If he’s a good husband he will listen to what his wife has to say. I’m glad you made that journey and found happiness. The Bible isn’t black and white for many reasons. 1. God gave us a brain to use. 2. Times change. While god isn’t supposed to change, according to the Bible, people do. Women are no longer property, we no longer stone our children for not listening, we have higher education. 

[Lgirlrocks]

I don’t understand how a relationship like most fundies have can work. Sometimes guys are to tired for sex. If sex is all that is holding a relationship together and the sex isn’t happening then there can’t be much of a relationship. 

[Hisey]

9 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

I have wondered at various times over the years what some of these fundies would be like if they were not fundy.   Maybe some of these asshats need all the rules and crap to keep from totally going off the deep end. I wonder what a Doctor would say about it. Has anyone come across any books regarding this?

Doctors don't usually have much training in mental health, unless you mean a psychiatrist or some other professional with mental health training. Most doctors I know have been so busy learning about physical problems that they could bump into a narcissist and wouldn't know it. 

To me (and probably everyone else who follows fundies), it seems that most of them have a great need for control. Look at Lori. She is hugely control oriented. Erica Shupe is another example. That's why, when they can, fundies tend to retreat to the country, where there aren't any nosy neighbors. That's why they homeschool.

Narcissists love control and go crazy when they don't have it (hence, the "temper tantrums" Ken has mentioned). They also prefer a black and white world, where there is "right" and "wrong." Not the real world at all, which is a mushy gray.

I also think a lot of these fundies are just plain stupid. ZZ Anderson is a notable exception. I feel for Ken, who seems reasonably intelligent, because he is married to a wife who seems to be his intellectual inferior, by far. I think he was a young man with low self esteem who hooked a chick he felt was far above him, and that was all that mattered to him. 

[Loveday]

Lori's buddy Attila the Hun Varadi has commented on yesterday's obeying one's husband post.

Excellent article.

 

Quote

It is written, 

"Wives obey your husbands IN EVERYTHING."

That simple. Everything else is from the devil. The only thing you need to learn is that the Word of God do mean what it says.

Jesus said, "If you love me keep my commandments." Did you realise that LOVE is not a feeling but OBEDIENCE?

You're there to make your husband's life easier. Not the other way. You're the helper not him.

 

It's been up for 11 hours. Lori 'liked' it, so there it will stay.

[Hane]

11 hours ago, fluffy said:

And last weekend she posted about how tragic it was that so many people had dogs in strollers on the beach instead of babies. From this observation she extrapolated that no one with a dog likely had a baby and much hemming and hawing ensued. She's the biggest busybody I ever did see. I wish Ken would leave her ass and she'd have to get a job and keep herself occupied with hard work, and no, I don't mean baking that damned bread of hers. A real job by golly. 

Re dogs in strollers: A friend of mine had a senior dog who was dying. On the last day of his life, she and her family put him in a stroller, because he couldn’t walk anymore, and took him to the beach, his favorite place, then fed him a steak. That was his last outing before crossing the rainbow bridge.

[onemama]

8 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

My mom told me that men are supposed to be the wife’s spiritual head. This doesn’t mean he Lords over her. It means that when it comes to spiritual stuff his word is final. If he’s a good husband he will listen to what his wife has to say.

I don't understand that concept at all. A Christian husband and wife already have Christ as their head (as members of His body, the Church).  If a husband is the head of his wife, whether he's a believer or not, how can his word be final when it comes to spiritual stuff?  It makes no sense... 

Quote

The Bible isn’t black and white for many reasons. 1. God gave us a brain to use. 2. Times change. While god isn’t supposed to change, according to the Bible, people do. Women are no longer property, we no longer stone our children for not listening, we have higher education. 

That's very true.  I remember one teacher said that a lot of the Bible is written for us, not to us.  The letters Lori always refers to were written to specific churches and sometimes contain different instructions for the same situation. For example, the apostle Paul recommended that the younger widows in one church (Ephesus?) marry and have children (the ultra-famous 1st Timothy 5:14), while the widows in Corinth are told to marry or not marry, but he thinks they would be happier if they remain as they are (unmarried).  Which one is a "command" for us today?  

 

[lilwriter85]

12 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Let's see...what kind of job could Lori get? Cashier? Fast food? She wouldn't be able to get anything that would keep her in the manner to which she's become accustomed. However, CA is a community property state so she'd get 1/2 of everything and probably alimony too. I think in this case it's cheaper for Ken to stay married to the shrew. They deserve each other. 

 

12 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

I can just see her being a rep for like 12 MLM schemes if she got divorced. Then she'd use  her following to boost sales because these products are more "godly" than all other products.

Or maybe she'll start her own modest clothing line called "Not a Harlot of Babylon", NHB for short. Her summer collection will be a really sizzling master piece called "Burning Up Feminist Jezebels", featuring long sleeved, high necked shirts and long skirts and pants. The patterns/fabric will be in a very tasteful, heavy plaid and will be sure to mark the most "godly" of women. After all, only the most "godly" women can with stand the intense heat in their NHB modest clothes; feminists with their harlotie ways would just burn up. 

I apologize for that bit of crazy, it's been a rough week and I'm a bit loopy. Gosh I'm needing some wine.

I often wonder if Ken secretly wishes that he would have divorced Lori many years ago and would have had time to recover financially from a divorce. Right now, it's too late for Kenny boy as he is entering his 60s.

I can see her doing MLMs if she divorced  like Sarah92 mentioned. She would peddle her "godly" Norwex clothes all over FB with multiple posts per day.  Let's say eventually her MLM sales took a blow and she had to get a job. She would have difficulty getting hired.. It would be hilarious if she worked in retail and her boss/manager was a much younger woman and she tried "mentor' the boss.

[feministxtian]

8 minutes ago, lilwriter85 said:

I often wonder if Ken secretly wishes that he would have divorced Lori many years ago and would have had time to recover financially from a divorce. Right now, it's too late for Kenny boy as he is entering his 60s.

I think you're right. There's just something fishy about how he rides in on his Horse of Truth to defend the indefenceable. Methinks he doth protest too much. Or, then again, maybe Lori is screaming at him that he just HAS to defend her from all the "harlots" that are being big meanies. So, he does to shut her up. 

[SuperNova]

57 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

I think you're right. There's just something fishy about how he rides in on his Horse of Truth to defend the indefenceable. Methinks he doth protest too much. Or, then again, maybe Lori is screaming at him that he just HAS to defend her from all the "harlots" that are being big meanies. So, he does to shut her up. 

I think he also does it to get affection from her. I have no doubt Lori blows him off on a regular basis but when this whole thing started blowing up and he came to her defense, she starting referring to him as "my lord" and "my headship". She has no problem running and hiding behind Ken when it's convenient and Ken gets to be a white knight.

[feministxtian]

41 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

I think he also does it to get affection from her. I have no doubt Lori blows him off on a regular basis but when this whole thing started blowing up and he came to her defense, she starting referring to him as "my lord" and "my headship". She has no problem running and hiding behind Ken when it's convenient and Ken gets to be a white knight.

That's pathetic. They both hold their marriage up as some paragon of Christian marriage. News flash: Its not. They're a couple of ugly human beings who deserve each other.