Maxhell Makes Tacos Boring

[Foudeb]

Whoa, 10 bucks a month on this nonsense.

(I'm assuming the "married sons" know how to work around it. A VPN isn't exactly hard to disable.)

I'm also very curious as to how exactly they "discovered" that their previous software wasn't working at all. Did Steve's daily search for "big boobies" yield results accidentally-on-purpose?

I so, so pity the spinster sisters. I'm pretty sure Steve and Teri get off on this kind of dystopic nonsense, and their brothers do eventually escape, but they're stuck. They literally can't even type "help" in their browser without their jail wardens parents knowing about it.

[HereticHick]

Gah... do you think John & Chelsy's devices are covered under their Internet tracking family plan? Or do you think they are enjoying the freedom of viewing immoral websites?

[Eternalbluepearl]

What is this bullcrap I am reading over on the Titus2 blog? Did I read correctly that Teri and Steve get daily summaries of their adult children's internet activity? Steve gets a summary of Teri's? And they PAY for this service? I am shocked. Truly. This feels so uncomfortable and wrong to me. I do not understand any of this. And if the comments start rolling in on the blog of people congratulating them for this bizarre controlling behavior of ADULTS...I don't think I can take it. I'm baffled here. And no one monitors Steve? I...I... *trails off dumbfounded*

[church_of_dog]

On 4/20/2018 at 3:27 PM, formergothardite said:

My taco "meat" recipe told in Maxwell style

Take one cup of walnuts. Walnuts come in shells, but you wan to make sure that you remove them from the shells or buy them shelled. If you purchase shelled walnuts, make sure you remove the walnuts from the packaging. Place the walnuts in a food processor with taco seasoning. I make my own seasoning, but for unexplained reasons I shall not share. You can use this website called Google.com to find a taco seasoning website. First go to Google.com, then type "taco seasoning recipe" in the search bar, finally hit enter.

Plug in your food processor, Pulse the walnuts and taco seasoning until they resemble ground beef(it kind of doesn't really, but do your best). Do not process too long or you will create taco flavored walnut butter. 

Place the walnut "meat" in a taco shell. There are hard shells, soft shells, dorito flavored shells, shells with flat bottoms, shells shaped like bowls, large shells, small shells, shells made out of white flour, shells made out of wheat flower, shells made out of corn and some people create shells using lettuce leave. You can also skip the shells and place the meat on top of lettuce you have shredded using a pizza cutter. 

Top with salsa, vegan sour cream, and vegan nacho cheese sauce. I will share the recipes for sour cream and nacho cheese in future posts*. I will also take you step by step through the uncomplicated process of cutting lettuce with a pizza cutter.

*these posts will never appear. 

I don't eat beef so I might try this for real.  Thanks!

But I might cut my fingers on the food processor blades trying to get the walnut meat out -- might there be some kind of, I dunno, kitchen scooping implement I could use instead? 

On 4/22/2018 at 4:19 AM, sparkles said:

Calling it an Instant Pot is pure marketing. It’s not. Some things do cook quickly but it generally takes longer for the pot to come up to pressure than it does for it to go through the actual cooking cycle. It is great for some things, like stews and beans that would take a long time otherwise, but that’s nothing different than any pressure cooker can do. Otherwise, I’d say that with 95% of the Instant Pot recipes I’ve made, my main thought was always “I could have done that on the stove in a regular pot in the same or less time.” I was a latecomer to the Instant Pot and I’m seriously considering selling it. Does make great hard-boiled eggs though that always peel easily but that’s not enough to justify having one.

I eat lots of hard-boiled eggs, but I've only cooked them in a pot of water once in the last few years (during a long spell of overcast weather).  Why did the weather matter?  Because normally I cook them in a solar oven -- no water, no fossil fuels!  It only needs a couple of hours of sun (not hot weather) so usually I can find that every week or two.

I just put a dozen eggs, still in their carton, straight into the solar oven.  (no styrofoam cartons, cardboard only, or just put the eggs on a plate).  Often I do this right when I get home from buying them -- the eggs never even make it inside my house until they are cooked!  

The shells get brown speckled and sometimes the egg whites brown a bit too from cooking in air instead of water, but no harm done.  They're usually easy to peel as well.  Yesterday while I was working on getting the garden beds ready for the growing season, I cooked a dozen eggs along with the sweet potato I had for dinner...

[Palimpsest]

Thanks for all those Instant Pot reviews, everyone.  I don't think I will get much use out of one (and don't have room in my kitchen for another appliance) but it sounds like an ideal birthday gift for my SIL.

13 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@Granwych, well cinnamon is added to Cincinnati Chili.  But they also use chili powder.

I need to find my recipe for vegetarian Cincinnati chili.  

@PennySycamore, Teri once sprinkled chili powder instead of cinnamon on fruit pies.  She wrote an entire blog post about it to illustrate some obscure Godly message that I now forget.  I sometimes think Teri is trolling us with some of her more idiotic domestic disasters.  Like taking weeks to gather supplies so she could sew on a button.  

And if you can find that recipe for vegetarian chile please post it.  

2 hours ago, Bajovane said:

Must be Stevehova's so insecure - that their faith is so shaky that he must keep them under firm control.  Gee Steve.  Oftentimes what you project onto others is something you're guilty of yourself.  Hmm?

Ding, ding, we have a winner!

1 hour ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

What is this bullcrap I am reading over on the Titus2 blog? Did I read correctly that Teri and Steve get daily summaries of their adult children's internet activity? Steve gets a summary of Teri's? And they PAY for this service? I am shocked. Truly. This feels so uncomfortable and wrong to me. I do not understand any of this. And if the comments start rolling in on the blog of people congratulating them for this bizarre controlling behavior of ADULTS...I don't think I can take it. I'm baffled here. And no one monitors Steve? I...I... *trails off dumbfounded*

It is bad writing, but I expect the adult married sons have their own accounts and their wives get those reports. The Maxwells are quite hands-off with the "extended family"  so they are not monitoring John and Chelsy, for example.

Teri gets "immediate family"  (Steve, adult daughters, and Jesse) reports and Steve gets Teri's reports.  Accountability, my friends.  You never know when Steve might be searching the internet to help Gigi and stumble upon Ashley Madison.  This sort of monitoring of internet use is common in Fundie families.  People are always recommending the programs they use.

As for the Maxwells, this is another affiliate link money maker for them.   They are just pushing the latest product on their humpers.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

The Maxwells always make me recall that aside Helen Mirren makes in Calendar Girls about "for minute there I thought it would be dull" [something like that] when the lady is there to speak about not only rugs, but all forms of carpet. The Maxwell's are just right for that W.I. in terms of boring topis.

[Rosie]

53 minutes ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

What is this bullcrap I am reading over on the Titus2 blog? Did I read correctly that Teri and Steve get daily summaries of their adult children's internet activity? Steve gets a summary of Teri's? And they PAY for this service? I am shocked. Truly. This feels so uncomfortable and wrong to me. I do not understand any of this. And if the comments start rolling in on the blog of people congratulating them for this bizarre controlling behavior of ADULTS...I don't think I can take it. I'm baffled here. And no one monitors Steve? I...I... *trails off dumbfounded*

Yes, that's right.

And no one gets a summary of Steve's Internet activity.

[Palimpsest]

4 minutes ago, Rosie said:

Yes, that's right.

And no one gets a summary of Steve's Internet activity.

Wrong.  Teri does get those. 

Quote

I receive a daily report for each device from Accountable2You. Steve gets my reports. It is a summary. I can go online for a detailed report. It is much easier to read and understand than K9 was. If there is questionable usage, I will get an immediate text or email.

 

[picklepizzas]

7 hours ago, OhNoNike said:

Post up today about how she tracks her adult kids’ Internet usage and how Steve receives a report of her usage everyday.

Ive only been married 8 years and been with my husband for 12.  I really don’t give a shit where he looks online because I’m pretty secure in my relationship.  We’re also atheists, so... we enjoyed amazing weather on our Earth Day Sunday playing with our kids outside almost the entire day. 

Omg I thought this was just a joke and went immediately to their site expecting/hoping to not see a post on it...just wtf. Srsly. Why does this technology even exist. 

[Alisamer]

Maxhell - where you trust God*, but NO ONE ELSE. 

*Restrictions may apply. Does not necessarily mean trusting God to guide others. God's guidance may be broken by such things as pants on women, bare knees, popular music, television and fun. All those without a penis may not trust God directly, but are required to go through a male headship. For best results it is recommended to keep life as bland and boring as possible, lest God's guidance be repelled by joy or happiness. Others may claim to trust God, but do they know where they are going when they DIE? Side effects may include excessive scheduling, a spotless home, lack of education, fear of the world and a deep hidden desire to escape. Ask your headship if Maxhell is right for you.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Okay I see now that Steve's report goes to Teri. What a sick family. 

[OhNoNike]

And yet another thing to incorporate into a schedule!!  “Review Steve’s internet reports” - 2.5 minutes

[Palimpsest]

1 minute ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

Okay I see now that Steve's report goes to Teri. Still... I really feel dumbfounded that any of this is a thing. What a sick family. Truly. 

The Duggars will shilling one of these plans too at one point.  Prior to the Fall of Smuggar.  

And here's another version that came up recently:   http://www.covenanteyes.com/services/ 

Covenant Eyes is $15 a month for a family plan.  His church made this preacher man use it, but it didn't stop him from assaulting teenage boys. http://abc3340.com/news/local/acton-bowen-jailed-on-new-molestation-charges-in-etowah-county

4 minutes ago, OhNoNike said:

And yet another thing to incorporate into a schedule!!  “Review Steve’s internet reports” - 2.5 minutes

I wonder how many times a day Teri's scheduled activities are interrupted by emails and texts:  "If there is questionable usage, I will get an immediate text or email."  

Perhaps that is why she left the food poison rice casserole in the fridge for 2 days.  She was online checking the detailed reports. 

[MomKB]

I also can't get over people climbing mountains in skirts.

[catlady]

59 minutes ago, picklepizzas said:

Omg I thought this was just a joke and went immediately to their site expecting/hoping to not see a post on it...just wtf. Srsly. Why does this technology even exist. 

unless you have minor children and a valid reason to monitor their online activity, i can't think of why.  

Maxhell is a household of six legal adults; Steve and Teri monitor each other, and Teri monitors four legal adults.  if these people can't trust themselves or each other to make sound decisions, then that is one more area in which Steve has failed his spouse, his kids, and his own faith.  they make themselves sound like a bunch of self-absorbed weaklings.  

[Granwych]

21 minutes ago, MomKB said:

I also can't get over people climbing mountains in skirts.

I am seriously amazed that none of the females have been hurt while mountain climbing in skirts.  Actually, I'm amazed that no one has tripped in those skirts while walking from room to room

(I have those moments when I just don't pick my feet up high enough, and if I were wearing a long skirt,  down I would go.)

[LilMissMetaphor]

Quote

If there is questionable usage, I will get an immediate text or email.

I would like a definition of what constitutes questionable usage.   

[Koala]

14 minutes ago, catlady said:

 Maxhell is a household of six legal adults; Steve and Teri monitor each other, and Teri monitors four legal adults.  

I am trying really hard to fathom monitoring another adult.  I am trying even harder to imagine an adult who would allow themselves to be monitored.  

Sarah is 36 years old, shares a room with her two sisters, and has her internet usage monitored by her aging parents.  How in the hell is that normal?  Omg, it literally just baffles me.  At this rate, she'll be going through menopause, and still living the life of a 10 year old.  

Oh, how I would love to see her wrench her life away from Steve and Terri and walk right out the door.  Life is so short, and they are STEALING the lives of their children.  

Steve & Terri?  You don't get two go arounds.  You got to decide for yourselves, but you shouldn't get to decide for your adult children.  It's their turn.  Take a step back, for God's sake.

[pikapika]

On 4/20/2018 at 8:31 AM, HereticHick said:

Holy crap, y'all!!!! Taco shells come in both HARD and SOFT shell versions. And more than one size!!  WAIT TILL I TELL MY RELATIVES IN MEXICO ABOUT THIS!!!!!!

They can't even say tortillas!?!?! hahaha they are too much. If I tell them that mexicans never eat hard shell tacos their heads will explode.

[HereticHick]

"Covenant Eyes" always makes me think of this slogan

[Palimpsest]

2 hours ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

I would like a definition of what constitutes questionable usage.   

Reading Free Jinger.

[Maggie Mae]

On 4/22/2018 at 3:19 AM, sparkles said:

 I was a latecomer to the Instant Pot and I’m seriously considering selling it. Does make great hard-boiled eggs though that always peel easily but that’s not enough to justify having one.

I'm so glad I didn't buy an Instant Pot. Our rice cooker died and I was pushing hard for a Zojinrushi; SO wanted an Instant Pot. I said no, and then he went and bought yet another $20 rice cooker with two settings.

I heard that the egg thing has to do with the age of the eggs? I don't know, my hard boiled egg game is not on point, despite making them weekly. 

I'm weird about my tacos. I went to Texas and absolutely hated every single taco i had there; I couldn't find a burrito or tamale to save my life. I was told from the locals that you have to know someone. I ate a lot of fajitas which were fine but boring. I wasn't in a "good part" of Texas though and I swore that if my job sends me back I'd rather quit. 

My tacos are usually just carne asada, seasoned and grilled and sliced, snack sized shells, salsa/hot sauce cilantro & pico. (Optional items include guac, sour cream, but never shredded cheese.) 

[scoutsadie]

14 hours ago, IntrinsicallyDisordered said:

Oooh, how did you make the risotto?  I use the Serious Eats method of basically only stirring it once after the first batch of liquid is absorbed (and it comes out better than any made in the 15 years I spent standing there babysitting them, I was incredibly skeptical but it works!) but it sounds like the Instant Pot would be even more hands off and probably faster.

Delighted that you asked, @IntrinsicallyDisordered  ...

Here's the recipe I used; didn't have white wine, and used bone broth instead of chicken broth.  Also, cooked the rice for 8 minutes instead of six, per my husband's trial of this risotto at home while I was at my sister's.  It was truly perfection.  Let us know how you like it!  https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/259455/instant-pot-mushroom-risotto/

Right now, I have carnitas in the Instant Pot with Badia Mojo Marinade, half a can of Dogfish Head Sea Quench Ale (sour beer), several cloves of garlic, a sliced unpeeled orange, a sliced yellow onion, and otherwise following this recipe: https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/instant-pot-crispy-carnitas/

[Maggie Mae]

5 hours ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

I would like a definition of what constitutes questionable usage.   

Probably reading CNN or Huff Post.

[theologygeek]

Just when you think it can't get any worse, it does.  Sarah's parents track her internet usage. 

Steve, since you read here:  Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they get old, they will not depart from it.  Calling God a liar?  Didn't train up your kids in the way they should go?  Your junk books didn't work on your own kids?  Pick one, because you wouldn't need the accountability app if you trained them right.